Among the Mushrooms: The Madness of Jack
by The Altrox
Summary: It's been three years since nuclear weapons destroyed the world, and Mineral Town is one of the few safe havens where humanity thrives. But in this last paradise, Jack struggles in his own Hell as he tries to find the silver lining of the mushroom cloud. Discontinued.
1. Introduction: Day 1575

**It's been awhile since I've read anything here. I just hope people here still remember the FoMT game. It looks like a lot of stories here are about the newer games. Not that that's a bad thing. I just hope people actually remember this stuff.**

**Anyway, this story is about Mineral Town several years after a nuclear holocaust, but you should have already picked that up from the intro under the title. There are going to be quite a few new characters, but most focus will be on the original cast.**

**This chapter serves as an introduction. I don't explain a whole lot of the situation, but I will eventually. I hate giving away key points of a story, so just keep reading and try to keep everything in mind. This should start to make more sense when I explain things next chapter**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harvest Moon! But that's a given.**

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><p><em>Within yourself deliverance must be searched for, because each man makes his own prison <em>- Edwin Arnold

**Among the Mushrooms**

**Introduction: **Day 1575

The alarm clock began its monotonous screech. 6 A.M. had come once again. Jack gave it a hard smack and groggily sat up. He hadn't gotten the quality sleep he had been hoping for. Rubbing his eyes, he stood up and looked at the makeshift 2011 calendar he had on the wall. It was an old calendar from several years ago. The year was wrong, but it gave the correct dates and days of the week. Jack had been writing new numbers in the bottom of the squares. He picked up the pen on his desk and wrote in another number under June 24th.

"Day 1575," he said to himself. It was an ordinary day to many, but to the outsiders, such as himself, it carried much more emotional weight. He stared at the calendar for nearly a minute before letting out a sigh and walking away. There was work that needed done. After putting on a dirty work shirt and jeans, he grabbed his holster and revolver. Never knew when that would be useful.

He left his bedroom and into the common room of his house. Kai and Popuri weren't up yet. Considering the noises they were making the night before, Jack wasn't surprised. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out some eggs and orange juice. It was a simple meal, but it was good enough, given that Jack ate less than ever now days. As he prepared a quick breakfast, he ran through the chores he had to complete today. Nothing on his mental list seemed to difficult. It would just be another day of taking care of his assigned animals and helping the others harvest the rest of the cabbages before taking them into town.

He finished eating his fill of the eggs and left the rest of them on the plate for whoever wanted them. Letting out another yawn, he walked over to Kai and Popuri's room and knocked.

"Rise and shine love birds!" he shouted. He immediately turned around and went to his tool box and grabbed his animal brush and sickle before opening the door. A warm summer breeze blew in. "Another day in paradise," he said glumly.

"You're an asshole, you know that?" Jack turned around and looked at the groggy Kai. He was only wearing boxer shorts, revealing his body which had been built from working the farm.

"Oh good, you're up," Jack said in response, ignoring his housemate's complaint. "You're going to be in charge of the cabbage harvest today, so make sure it gets done by noon or so. I need to get them to mark-"

"You're an asshole," Kai repeated. "Me and Popuri-"

"Get up at the same time as everybody else on this farm," Jack answered in a no nonsense voice. "You've been working here for what, three years? It isn't your day off, so you need to get up on time. I was graceful and gave you ten extra minutes, so shut up and put on some clothes. The cabbages need harvested."

"Sure thing," Kai grunted. Jack heard him call him something else under his breath, but he ignored it. Him and Kai hadn't been as good friends as they used to be, but he was still good at managing the farm's affairs, so it worked out fine.

Jack reached the large bell in front of the worker's house and rang it. He could hear many of them were already up inside, but ringing the bell would get them to work faster. There were about forty of them all together, not including the kids. All of them were castaways that washed up on the beach at one point or another. The house they lived in had been built to shelter them all. It had many bed rooms and one big common room, but it was cramped for the number of people living there.

After the ringing, Jack started towards the horse stable while his sheepdog, Brody, followed. He eagerly barked at his master, ready for the day's work.

"At least somebody on this farm is willing to work," Jack said as he pet his dog on the head. He finally reached the horse stable. There were eleven horses living here now. Six of them were thoroughbreds and the rest were draft horses for pulling carts and plows. Jack noticed as he entered that they already were given their morning feed.

"Oh hi Julie. You're up early," Jack said to one of the farm girls. She was a cute redheaded teen that Jack had put in charge of caring for the horses.

"Hiya Jack," she replied as she continued to brush Kai's horse. "I wanted to finish up with the horses early today. I figured you'd liked that."

"I do. Thanks kiddo," he said in response with a smile as he began to brush down his own horse. He knew that Julie had a small crush on him, but he ignored it, given that he was twelve years her senior. Still, he was glad she wanted to finish her work. He focused back on his horse, Silver. She was a beautiful grey mare that was given to him in his first week as a farmer. That was years ago. 1570 days ago to be exact. Caring for her was one of the only things that calmed his nerves.

After he finished grooming his horse, he headed over to the main barn The workers were already up and grooming their assigned animals. The barn originally held only 16 heads of cattle, but it now had over one hundred and fifty, and each female cow needed brushed and sent to the milker machine. There were also 20 goats, but they were milked by hand. There weren't any sheep anymore in Jack's barn. Barley raised most of the towns sheep along side his cattle. One by one the cattle were fed and brushed before their assigned worker took them to the milker. Everybody was assigned several cows to care for. Flint had even gone through the trouble to make a calendar of when each cow would need to get pregnant so that they could continue the generations with little difficulty.

After spending an hour in the barn working with his animals and monitoring the workers, Jack went back outside to help with the crop watering. There were thousands more crops being grown now. Much more than what he used to grow. The town needed a lot of food to support its population after all.

"Jack, I'm glad I found you," Flint said as he came up to Jack's side. "We need to plow three new rows for the potatoes. You're going to need to get out there and start plowing now.

"Get Jim to do it. I have to-"

"It's Jim's day off," the old man interrupted.

Jack sighed. "Fine, I'll do it myself."

After hooking a draft horse up to the plow, he gave it a light whip and it began to pull as Jack pushed from the other side. As they slowly crossed the field, he slowly looked up at the sky. Cloudless. The only place on earth that wasn't clouded with fallout. And he hated it. As the summer sun beat on his skin, he began thinking "This must be what hell is like. Where it's hot and you realize that you're stuck here for eternity."

Eventually, he finished plowing and the others began to plant more seeds. He then checked up on the swine shack and the poultry building to make sure that work was being done. By the time he finished with his morning chores, it was twelve o'clock. But he wasn't finished yet. Most of the cabbage crop was loaded into the triple cart with two draft horses hooked to the front. The rest would be distributed to the other workers or put in storage. Before going to the cart, Jack stopped by the green house to pick a few flowers that he was growing.

"Thanks for hooking up the carts," Jack called out as he drove of his property. The rest of the day would be easy from this point on. It would be the night that worried him the most.

Going into town on horse was a lot harder now with all the new villagers in town. They clogged the streets as they went about their business, making the trip to the market harder than it needed to be. He eventually reached the supermarket where he tied up his horses outside and went in to find somebody to unload the crops.

"Hey Jack," Karen said cheerfully as she came over and gave him a friendly hug. "Ew, you're all sweaty," she laughed.

"Yup, that's what happens when you work outside," he said. Karen always brightened his mood. He used to like her at one point, but stopped when it became apparent that her relationship with Rick wasn't ending anytime soon. "Hey, I have three carts of cabbages waiting outside."

"Okay, I'll have the boys bring them in," she replied. "It shouldn't take us too long."

"Okay, I'll be back soon for my horses," he said. He left the building and started walking to the hospital. The hospital was filled with doctors now. Originally, it was only Elli and Tim, but now there were quite a few new nurses and doctors of different types living there. Jack walked to the front desk and waited for somebody to show up, but it took a few minutes. They were always busy now.

"Hey Jack, it's good to see you," Elli said as she took her place behind the counter. "I hope I didn't keep you waiting to long. Two people came in today with heat stroke."

"No, no, it's fine," he said as he forced a smile on his face to match Elli's cheery disposition. "I brought you your flowers," he said as he placed the makeshift bouquet in front of her.

"Oh, thank you!" she said as she scooped up the lot and sniffed them. But then she stopped. "This is awkward… I don't have any money on me right now," she said in a soft voice as her cheeks reddened.

"It's fine. Just pay me when you do. I'm in no rush," Jack replied.

"Oh Jack, that's really sweet of you," she responded happily. "I'll make sure Tim gives you a discount on your next check-up or something."

"Sure," he said. "I have to get going. Be seeing you."

As he left the hospital, he looked at his watch. Odds were that the carts had not been unloaded completely yet, so he kept going east until he reached the church. He had grown quite familiar with the building in the last few years, as it had helped him through many difficulties. Carter was inside at the pulpit, mouthing words to the next sermon he would be giving on Sunday. He stopped as Jack entered.

"Oh hello Jack," he said as he left the pulpit.

"Good afternoon Pastor Carter," he replied as he walked up to meet the pastor in the center of the church. "It's a beautiful day outside, no?"

"Oh yes, it is quite lovely. God has given us another beautiful day."

"Yes, well… I brought you this from the farm. We just harvested the cabbages today and I thought you might want one."

"Oh thank you Jack," Carter replied. "Since I don't receive a salary, I thank the goddess that you are so generous."

"Yes, well enjoy. I'm sorry, but I left my horses outside of the market. I'll talk to you later.

"Okay, have a blessed day Jack!"

Jack made it back to the market to find that the vegetables had been completely unloaded. Karen was waiting for him.

"Oh good your back. We're counting them now, and we'll send you a tally and money to the farm by tomorrow morning."

"Okay. Thanks Karen. Tell your folks I said hi."

"Okay, sure… Jack, you seem pretty off today." She stared into his eyes to see if she could figure out was the answer, but he blinked.

"It's nothing. Just this damn heat. I really want to just go home and take a cool shower." It was more than just the heat though…

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><p>"Hey Jack, what do you want to order?" Ann asked. She also seemed just as energetic as normal. Everybody seemed that way today. The barroom was filled with people on their lunch break.<p>

"Just a salad and water," he replied. He still wasn't hungry.

"Okay hun, coming right up," she replied before she called back to the kitchen workers what the order was.

"Salad and water? You might as well have just walked in here wearing a skirt," Cliff laughed.

"Hey bro, I'm not hungry. I'm only eating because I have to," he retorted, though he wasn't quite sure why he was bothering, since it was only playful teasing.

"Whatever. Hey Ann! Get Kate Moss here a steak! She's starving herself!" he continued.

"Shut up Cliff," Ann laughed as she brought back Jack's order. "Jack's not a girl. He's just trying not to gain any pants sizes."

"Y'all can go to hell," Jack chuckled slightly as he began to eat.

"What, is it your time of the month?" Cliff asked. Both he and Ann were laughing up a storm over him now.

"Cliff, that was awful. Not even I would go that far!" Ann giggled as she calmed herself down.

"Yeah you would," Jack said back. He still wasn't feeling all that great, even after the laughter.

"Really though Jack, you only had fruit juice the other day for lunch. Are you eating this meagerly everyday?" Cliff questioned.

"I'm doing fine," he lied.

"He didn't ask you if you were doing fine. He asked about how much you're eating. But by you defending yourself by saying your fine, we all know that you're not really fi-"

"I'm gonna stop your game of psychologist there," Jack said, interrupting Ann, "to tell you that I'm just in a pissed off mood and I don't want to talk about it. So please, if you would be so kind…"

Silence.

Ann left to deal with another diner. Jack felt bad now. Ann was one of his better friends in Mineral Town, and he had just been a complete douche to her. But in his mind, he couldn't understand why nobody understood why he was upset.

"I know what's wrong with you," Cliff said solemnly, breaking the silence between them.

"Oh?" Jack replied. He had just finished his salad and then started drinking the water.

"Yeah, it bothers me too that nobody who was born here gets it," he responded. "That nobody remembers that this is the anniversary of the nuclear strikes."

"Yeah, well they didn't lose the world we did," Jack replied. "Life here has changed her for everybody, but they didn't lose that familiarity."

"True," Cliff responded. Silence overtook the two again.

"Well," Jack said as he stood up and left his payment on the counter. "I have to get a shower and some sleep. Wall duty tonight."

"Again? Why do they have you working double duty all the time?" Cliff questioned.

"Because I don't miss," Jack answered. "Tell Ann I'm sorry for snapping at her. And Cliff?"

"Yeah?"  
>"Happy third anniversary."<p>

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><p>The alarm clock buzzed again for the second time that day. Jack woke up from his sleep and looked out the window. It was night now. 11:55 PM to be exact. He trudged over to his gun cabinet and pulled out the weapons he needed. The hunting rifle, the bow, and the sniper rifle along with their respective amo. He was truly armed to the teeth. After fastening all his weapons, he walked over to the mirror to fix his hair, but he didn't touch it at all. He just stared at himself in the mirror by the dim light of his lantern. Twenty-six years old, and he already looked as though he could have been ten years older. His eyes were tired looking and several noticeable grey hairs were poking through the brown. On top of that, he was looking a lot thinner. He has been eating a lot less as of late and it really was beginning to show. He sighed, and then realized that he had forgotten his revolver. He saw it sitting on the nightstand in the mirror's reflection. As he picked it up, he heard the his thoughts talking again.<p>

"You should do it now and get it over with."

He looked at the revolver. He could have done it. In theory, it was easy as sin. But he remembered that there were people who depended on him. Not just his friends, but everybody in this town needed him right now.

"Not today," he said to himself, and he put the gun back in its holster. He then looked at his clock again. It now read 12:00 AM.

"Day 1576," he said out loud, and with that, he turned around and headed out of the house to the beach.

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><p><strong> Meh, it starts out pretty angst, but it gets better. REVIEW PLEASE! It's really hard to stay motivated with writing a story when nobody responds. I've had a lot of problems with that and past stories.<strong>

** So yeah, respond. Tell me if you like the premise thus far. Ask questions if you have any. I will answer them in time. And one more important thing. I don't know if any of you are nuclear physicists, but if I make any errors regarding that department, please alert me. I want that to be accurate if I can help it.**


	2. Various Entries in Jack's Journal

**Reviews from the readers:**

_Your story reminds me a bit of the movie, 'Book of Eli' though so I definitely am looking forward for the rest. I hope that you could this because I'm really excited how the story would evolve, not to mention the presence of guns here._

** I really enjoyed that movie. It combined a post apocalyptic setting with the struggle between the use of religion between a good purpose and controlling the masses. However, I'm actually drawing more inspiration for this story from the book ****Z for Zachariah****, and the game "Fallout 3." And for anybody who has ever played the Fallout series, you'll understand why there are weapons involved.**

_Wow! This chapter was really deep, and it's a really fun twist to the regular harvest moon fic… Believe me, I know how easy it is to get dicouraged when nobody responds. But you should definitely continue, because your writing style is fantastic! :)_

**I don't know how deep it is as much as Jack being angsty, but I'm glad you enjoy it and my style of writing. As for discouragement, I'm not feeling it so much here. I was really happy to see reviews so quickly. Though I only got a few hits, it's much better than my results with my pokemon stories. I get 80 hits on those every time I make a new chapter, but only a few reviews for my first 7 chapters, 3 of which are from the same person. **

**Anyway, this chapter is a summary of what happened before the plot from Jack's perspective. It's somewhat lengthy, but enjoy.**

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><p><em>Only the dead have seen the end of the war. <em>- George Santayana

**Various Entries in the Journal of Jack Slater**

June 5th 2008

_ I'm not much for writing, but I figure after I got a blank journal and a box of condoms for my last birthday, I might as well use one of those gifts… Anyway, I've been living on this farm for over a year now, and it's been pretty nice. The people here are friendly and I'm actually making profit. The online classes have been rough, but that's what you get with a business major. I just hope future employers will see that any guy who could take a bankrupt farm and make it successful again in a years time, thus stimulating the economy of a small town, would be a good CEO._

_ The reason I'm here is because of the old man, William Redd. Redd was the original owner of this farm when I visited Mineral town as a child, and he invited me and my family to stay with him since there was no room in the inn… I guess that sort of makes me the Jesus of this Bethlehem since I pretty much saved this place (haha.) I had been in communication with the old man for over a decade until he stopped writing for several months. Worried about him, I spent a few dollars on a long distance call, only to find that he was dead. I was upset about this, but it couldn't be helped. Mineral Town is quite a flight away from New York, and I had already missed the funeral by two months. It wasn't until November of 06 when I got word from Mineral Town again. Redd had left a will, and because he had no family, guess who he left the farm to? Me. I was shocked that he would leave me something so large, especially since I didn't even think about him leaving me anything at all. What was I going to do? At first I was just going to sell it. Some may find that selling a place of childhood memories to be heartless, but what was I supposed to do? I was a city kid in college. Not a farmer. But the Mayor of the town (Thomas), told me that selling the farm could delay somebody working on it, and the town needed the farm for its economy. His solution? He wanted me to run it. That was crazy. I had my own life in America. Did they honestly expect me to leave my friends, family, school, and a prospective career just to run an old farm?… Of course they did. I only agreed to it because my economics professor told me that this was a great opportunity to prove my stones as a business man. So said goodbye to my family, made love to my girlfriend, and left for the little island a few months after my winter semester ended._

_ Point is, I did it. The farm was a wreck when I found it, but I fixed it up nicely and everything. I've even expanded on the buildings so it would have more property value. I already have some guys from the city coming in tomorrow to set up a milking machine, because lets face it: NOBODY wants to milk ten cows twice a day by hand for the rest of his life. Anyway, the old man would be proud of me, I think. He may not be so proud when I sell the place next summer. I'm already looking for potential buyers who can run it when I'm gone. I'm gonna miss this place, but hey, I have to get back to the States. That's where my future is. I just hope I can visit every few years or so and not get dirty looks for being a deserter._

June 17th 2008

_ Kassie called me this morning. She's planning on visiting for a month starting in July. It's been so long since I've seen her, and I'm getting horny just thinking about it. I guess I'll get to use those condoms after all : ). _

_ Other than that, things have been pretty boring lately here. It's what's going on everywhere else in the world that is interesting. It turns out Bush was right. Iraq does have nukes. So does Iran and Cuba among other places. Along with that, it was recently uncovered that China and North Korea have been working on a blacklist nuclear project, but little detail has been given to the public yet. The controversy has been going on for a month or so now, and it looks like we're entering another cold war, except with many more countries being involved. There have been a lot of government issues between countries as of late, many to do with business, money, intercontinental politics etc. between pretty much every major power on the globe. There are a lot of crazy theorists who say it's all going to end in World War III or even worse: a nuclear holocaust. I honestly doubt it though. I remember reading an article where the journalist was saying "Nukes create World Peace" because if everybody has them, nobody will use them without the fear of being blown the f*** up themselves. I hope that guy is right. Even so, I worry a little bit. I know Kai has been freaking out since he has family back in the States like I do, but I told him not to worry. These things tend have a way of working themselves out. Even so, he went and ordered one of those geiger counter things that some organization has been giving out in the midst of the hype. Can't be too safe, I guess._

June 20th 2008

_ We're all getting uncomfortable. Kim Jong-il made a public statement that hints his intentions of detonating nuclear arms at various countries, including America, over certain political issues regarding North Korea said countries. I think he's bluffing, but he's being pretty bold about it. What is even scarier is that he probably has China's support. We're all holding our breath._

June 24th 2008

_ Mother of God, they did it… They ****ing did it… I don't even know what to say. I literally stared at this page for an hour before starting to write. Nuclear strikes. Everywhere! All across the globe by nearly every country with nuclear arms within a matter of two or three hours! The first ones to launch were either America or North Korea (we don't know at this point) but just about everybody else followed. What's even crazier is that they were all launched. I wasn't even aware that all those militaries had that technology, but they did! Not only that, but many of the computer systems used in launching the nukes malfunctioned in various countries, sending missiles to places they weren't even intended, effectively blowing up places that weren't even meant to be targeted! And many nukes apparently landed in the ocean. I already heard a conspiracy theory on the radio saying that the Illuminati intentionally sent viruses to missile computers in order to screw up the countries true intentions. That bullshit almost make sense now, I'm going so crazy!_

_ Communications across the globe have gone haywire. Internet servers keep blinking off and on, as does my satellite TV. I can occasionally find a good radio station, but it's too depressing to listen to what's left of the world's society falling apart. They're all falling into chaos among the carnage and radiation._

_ And yet, here I am in this little town on this little island, waiting for something big to happen. Everybody is scared out of their minds, as they should be. Mineral Town and the other little villages on this island aren't connected to any major government, but who knows how we will be effected. Will our waters become irradiated? Will we experience a nuclear winter in which we can't grow food? Will we run out of needed supplies? Mayor Thomas came by today and told me that I need to be ready to harvest my crops prematurely if things get bad. But that would only keep us going for a little longer. What's the point of trying to survive if the bullet is going to hit our brains anyway?_

_ No word from anybody back home. I doubt I'll receive any either. According to the radio and various news reports, one of the first places that was hit in America was New York City…_

June 26th 2008

_ It's all beginning to sink in. The millions if not billions of deaths world wide. The destruction of society, my home, and the people I love. I cried today for three hours, and I haven't cried since I was a kid. Eventually, I forced myself outside, because the animals were hungry and they weren't going to feed and milk themselves._

_ Because phone lines are down, as are cellular towers right now, I sent emails to my parents, Kassie, my little sister, and various other friends back home. No response. I've been trying to follow news online, but the internet server in this primitive town is bad enough as it is, not to mention everything else is pretty much dead online after all that shit went down. Even when I can get through, servers keep crashing because everybody on Earth is doing the same thing._

_ Mayor Thomas and the council met today with the councils of Forget-Me-Not Valley and South Flowers. They also met with Goodman's Utilities, the company that has a small HQ on the island and provides us with water and electricity. Because their parent company is dead now with the nuclear crisis and all, they've agreed to keep up the utilities for the island as long as we give them food and supplies. Don't know how long that will last…_

July 3rd 2008

_ We all had a meeting today in the town square. Mayor Thomas stated that after the talks with the other island councils, they decided that our towns would remain separated as they always have, but work together when needed. There is an energy scientist in Forget-Me-Not who has also donated seed makers and solar panels for us to use, so we may be able to continue our lives as usual for the time being._

_ New sets of laws have been made. Everybody must have a contributing job for our society, and children must start working or learning a trade at age 14. The Mayor has also extended the council to anyone who owns a significant portion of land or business. The new council is as follows: Mayor Thomas, Pastor Carter, Doctor Tim, Jeff, Anna, Duke, Zack, Doug, Saibara, Rick (his mother gave up her seat), Barley, Gotz, and myself. We had our first private meeting after the public announcement. The mayor told us to try to continue our lives as normal, but to be prepared for when the radiation does set in._

_ Surprisingly, according to the geiger counter that Kai has, not even the ocean water is radiated. It's very curious…_

July 13th 2008

_ Still no signs of radiation. This is absurd, because we know about ocean radiation reports from different parts of the globe. It's really strange. Kai and I decided to test this. The beach water and the air of Mineral Town is clean, as is the sky, but we notice unmoving clouds in the distance that could be a result of all the nuclear explosions. So, we got into a boat and paddled a mile out. Suddenly, the geiger counter went berserk. I reported this finding to the mayor, and it's the same way throughout the island. No radiation to be found anywhere. Why?_

_ We had a town meeting to discuss this, since it seems this small island is being protected by some force that's preventing radiation from reaching us. But what? It was May who boldly stated that the Harvest Goddess is protecting us from the bombs. This caused a lot of people to chuckle, but to me, it makes more sense than anything else, and I'm an atheist. Only time will tell why we haven't been effected._

July 15th 2008

_It's only been two days since my last entry, and already, everybody thinks May is right. I do too, and it's actually having a profound effect on my beliefs. Maybe there is a harvest goddess… Maybe there is a God in general. I don't know, but as long as we're protected by something, I guess that's a good thing. I visited church this morning and talked to Carter about my beliefs. Up till now, I didn't believe in God, but now it seems like a possibility. I feel as though I've been given a new lease on life. If it weren't for old man Redd, I'd probably be dead right now. Maybe there is a God looking after us after all…_

_A boat with five hungry people washed up on the beach today. Naturally, we fixed them up the best we could and washed them in the Goddess Spring water (Elli has this crazy theory that we can wash of radiation with the goddess water because She is protecting us, but I don't know.) They told us that they were from the mainland and they had been searching for a safe place for weeks. They asked if they could stay here. We're going to give them jobs once they recover. We're gonna need all the help we can get._

July 23rd 2008

_ Good lord, I need a cigarette right now! I smoked my last one three days ago and the nicotine cravings are driving me insane. I've been trying to use them sparingly, but they finally ran out and they don't make cigarettes on this island. I had bought them from the market, but they ran out, so now I guess I'm going cold turkey. Great… If there's an upside to the end of the world, it's that I'm kicking this addiction._

_ I do have good news though. We've gotten twenty castaways in the last few days, three of which are doctors. But the one I'm interested in is Flint. He's in his seventies, but he was telling me about how he used to run a farm back in the mainland. It's pretty sad that his mind is beginning to go, but he still knows a lot more than I do about animal husbandry and crop growing. He and three other castaways are working with me now. Thank God for that, because we're gonna need to bust ass to get enough crops for the winter. So hard to believe that it's been a month since the strike, It seems like it was only yesterday…_

August 2nd 2008

_ We were attacked! Two guys drifted in on a boat and opened fire at people. Luckily, Zack and Kai have guns, so they managed to kill them before anybody got hurt… Except for Won. He took two bullets to the heart. We had another town meeting today regarding this invasion. The two guys who attacked us were obviously lawless desperates who wanted to take what we had by force. The Mayor stated that there were probably many more guys like that out there and that we would have to defend ourselves. He proposed we start building a wall that surrounds the perimeter of the island. It would take years to complete, but it would protect us as long as we had able bodied people guarding it. The first action would be to build a simple wooden wall on the beach until we could build a stone one as well. That was Gotz's department, but we were all required to put in work on this. The other towns agreed with us on this mega project. On top of that, since Saibara knows how to make bullets and guns, he's gonna start mass producing them. Looks like we're turning this town into a fortress. _

_ As for the bodies of Won and the two attackers, we stripped them of their wearable clothing that wasn't covered in blood, took what useful things they had before cremating them. It's pretty gruesome, but we can't waste anything. I just wish one of them had cigarettes or something. The cravings are receding slightly, but still, I could really use a smoke right now._

August 30th 2008

_ We've been getting more castaways. Tally is up to fifty now. Thank God again, because we need the man power. The wooden wall is now set up on the beach, and the stone wall is being built behind it. Lucky for us, since the beach is the only real accessible place for boats to reach Mineral Town, it's the only place we need to build a wall for the time being, though the people of South Flowers are really spearheading the project of making a perimeter around the island._

_ Anyway, raider attacks, as we call them, happen almost every other day. Though occasionally people get shot, nobody on our side has died yet, since Zack (who is now the head of defenses) is extremely strategic and we have quite a few capable doctors here now. I work "wall duty" a lot now, since I'm a pretty good shot with a rifle (all those hunting trips with dad really paid off.) I'm learning how to make and shoot a bow and arrow though through some old library books. I figure that's more reusable than guns._

January 21st 2009

_Winter is going well. Crops came in nicely in the fall, and we have a lot of new people working. The castaway count is now about one hundred, and thirty of them are working on my farm. We had to build a worker house and expand the barn. I now have ninety cows since Barley needed less of a responsibility due to his age and the amount of workers on his ranch, so he sent me a good deal of his herd. We sent all of my sheep to him. I figure I need to focus on dairy and let somebody else worry on wool. I'm just glad I bought that milking machine when I did. Even with all the help, milking each of these cows by hand would be insane._

_ It should also be noted that Kai is working with me now. Since he can't run his beach shack anymore, I offered him a job here as a supervisor. He accepted, and I had a room in my house built for him. Shortly after, he popped the question to Popuri and she said yes. Never thought Kai would be the kind to settle down, but I guess in this time, you gotta live for the moment. Popuri is going to be living with us too, which should be good, since she knows more about raising chickens, ducks, and turkeys than I do._

February 7th 2009

_ I got shot five days ago on wall duty. The good news is that the bullet passed right through and didn't hit any important organs. The bad news is that it did hit my appendix and the doctors decided it would have to come out. The worse news is that they only had an herb for me that would make me slightly high because they no longer have anesthesia. Holy f***, I'm in pain right now! _

_ Anyway, I got quite a few visitors in the hospital. Karen being the most frequent. I love talking to her. She reminds me of Kassie, because she's fun, easy to chat with, and loves the sauce. I would ask her out if it wasn't for Rick. Too be honest, I don't know what she sees in him, but hey, that's life for you._

June 24th 2009

_It's been awhile since I've written in this journal. I'm way too busy to sit down now days, but I brought myself to do it, being this is the anniversary and all. So crazy to think it's been a year since the strikes._

_ Somehow, we keep on living. Castaways and raiders are less frequent, but that's fine by me. We have many people working with the blacksmith, the woodcutter, the hospital, and the farms. We also have a new member of the council. A young woman named Tammy who ran a bakery in Poter City (island city several dozen miles away from us. We tried to open up trade with them, but the whole place is blocked up by guards. They'll let nobody in). Anyway, we have a bakery now, which is pretty neat._

_ Ellen died last week. It was pretty sad for all of the original members of this town. Elli was in tears for days. I guess since Ellen was pretty much her guardian and all, and now Elli has to take care of Stu now, along with all her other responsibilities. I don't know Elli all that well, but I felt bad for her, so I went and picked some flowers. She seemed pretty happy about that, and she even said she'd start paying me if I brought in certain flowers. I wasn't doing this for profit, but I don't see any harm in helping her like this._

July 1st 2009

_A big metal ship crashed into the beach today. Luckily, nobody was hurt, and our wall wasn't damaged. The big ship had run out of fuel, and it collided with our beach. Fifty castaways were on board, and numerous supplies as well. The current plan is to start scrapping the ship and using the metal plating to build the wall and make metal tools. Good things come in awkwardly sized packages I guess._

_ Also, the farm from South Flowers sent me pigs today. I never raised swine before, but Flint has, so I'm not that worried. We're currently building a green house so we can grow different crops throughout the year. I'm going to grow herbs and flowers in the green house as well so we can support the hospital and make a stronger profit. Funny how the farm is gaining more monetary value when I can no longer sell it._

December 24th 2009

_ I got shot again. This time near my shoulder. Luckily the bullet passed right through again, and I only needed patched up. Merry Christmas to me._

_ Anyway, I was out last night with Cliff and Ann again, and one of Ann's friends from South Flower's was visiting. Her name is Lola. She's a castaway that has been working on the wall. She's a pretty tiny girl at only five feet or so, but goddamn, she's curvy and thick. Cliff was telling me I should ask her out, but she's kind of a slut. According to Ann, she's had sex with five guys since washing up on this island. I mean, if I was really desperate to get laid, then sure, I'd tap that, but I'm not feeling it right now. Even though it's been so long, I still want Kassie. I'm 99.9% sure she's dead, but I don't want to give up hope. I need something to hold on to, even though any psychologist would tell me that it's unhealthy._

June 24th 2010

_Two years. How does this time fly? Slowly to be truthful. It feels like an eternity has passed since last week, and eons since the day of the missiles were fired. The town is really successful still, but it all feels hollow to me. Like all of this means nothing. I try to fill myself up with God, booze, and the pornography I saved on my laptop before the strikes, but it all drains out. I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore. _

_ Some of my hairs are turning grey and I'm only 25. The doctor says it may be stress. Weird. I know I'm not the only stressed out guy here, but I'm the only one graying before 30. I just feel so lonely now. Even with friends, I feel like I have no place and no purpose but to run this damn farm. What the hell is wrong with me?_

September 8th 2010

_I can not stand Kai anymore. He acts like a little bitch all the time and I just want to strangle him. He no longer works as hard as he used to on the farm or in the house. Popuri is no better. Even though she takes care of the poultry really well, she whines nonstop and never does anything around the house. I think I finally know what drives men to beat their wives. Thank God I have self-control and a bit of sense in me left. To make things worse, they f*** like rabbits every goddamn night for hours on end. I wouldn't care if I couldn't hear them doing it. I just hope Popuri finally gets pregnant so maybe they'll start acting like adults for the sake of their child. I'd rather hear a baby screaming its lungs out than Popuri whining or moaning every waking hour._

_ In other news, the wooden wall around the island is complete and the stone wall is making nice progress. Soon we won't have to worry as much about being attacked. It seems so pointless to me now. I've been hearing a voice in my head telling me to end it all. I keep trying to shut it out but it keeps coming back. Carter tells me that I must take comfort in God and the Harvest Goddess but I don't know if that alone will help. Maybe the isolation on this island is getting to me. Even though it's like the last safe place on Earth, it seems like a curse that I'm stuck here forever and I'm going crazy while I'm at it. It's like they say in that song: This could be heaven or this could be hell._

March 9th 2011

_I've been seeing Doctor Travis on a weekly basis. He's a psychologist and a castaway. Normally, I just write my problems in my journal, but the other month after drinking with friends one night , I had an emotional breakdown and on my way home, and I just collapsed in the street and started bawling. I miss my old family, my old friends, my old school, my old future, my cigarettes, and everything else back home. Why the hell did this happen to me? This existence feels like a curse. As I kept crying, I thought of Kassie. I missed the way her skin felt, the way her hair smelled, the way her voice sounded, the way we used to do it, everything. It wasn't long before Harris found me and walked me home. The next day, he told his father, the Mayor, and Thomas came by to convince me to go see Doctor Travis. Only a few of us know that I'm seeing him weekly, since I know it will cause problems if people know about me and my emotional issues. Not even Cliff, Ann, or Karen know, and they're the closest people I have left. For the time being, I have to act as though everything is alright. I have to be in charge of a farm that is the backbone of this last utopia. I have to wear a smile and hope for some comfort down the road. An alternative comfort that can't be brought by a loaded gun. Jesus Christ, I hope I can find it, whatever it may be._

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><p><strong> So yeah, this isn't your typical chapter. This was to serve as a template for what has happened so far from Jack's point of view. The real chapter 1 starts next.<strong>

** So review please. I feel really encouraged thus far and I appreciate the feedback.**

** One thing I hope I can preserve in this story is the feeling that Mineral Town is one of the few safe places in a hazardous world, because the plot leans slightly away from the issues of nukes and more towards Jack's psyche. Also, since there is a romance genre, that will contribute to a good portion of this story, but I have to make sure it does not dominate the plot. I mean, anybody can fall back on romance as a plot device, but I want to go further than that. **

** Also, are polls allowed to pertain to stories? I'm not running a CYOA or anything, but are they made for that purpose? I was gonna start polling the readers under the poll section of my account to see if they figure out what I pull next, but I want to make sure first, since I know the guidelines don't want polls in stories.**

** Thanks for the support!**


	3. Chapter One: A Night in Utopia

**Reviews from the readers:**

_ I love Jack's personality. He's a knight in a sour armor and is just funny. It's good that you've decided to post a chapter like this; it pretty much gave us an insight to what really happened. _

** While Jack does have the role of a troubled hero in this story, I am using him as a small source of humor. I tried to give him a large dose of personality in the journal entries to make up for what little I developed in the introduction. As for the journal chapter, it was necessary. I hate explaining things in a story as opposed to the reader figuring them out, but given that this Harvest Moon takes place in a very contorted world, I needed to give the audience some information that they can make sense of.**

_This chapter was very interesting and I like the emotion you gave Jack, and the fact that you made him a troubled character. I can't wait to get inside his head more._

**You'll like the beginning of this chapter then. I like making troubled characters. Maybe it's because I'm a psychology major, but making people with disturbed minds is fun. **

**Anyway, thank you readers for all the positive reviews. Here is the first chapter. Enjoy.**

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><p><em>Ah, to think how thin the veil that lies between the pain of Hell and Paradise. - <em>George William Russell

**Chapter One: A Night in Utopia**

_Date: June 30__th__ 2011. Thursday, 9:50 PM_

"And why don't you act on these feelings of rage?" Dr. Travis asked. Jack was busy staring at his shoes, but he lifted his head to look the psychologist in the eyes as he figured out his response. They were having one of their weekly sessions in an empty room at the hospital. It was the perfect hour for an appointment. Dr. Tim was the only other doctor on duty, as the others were off the schedule but on call if needed.

"Because I'm too much of a pacifist, that's why," Jack retorted. "And Kai and Popuri know how to exploit that. I swear, one of these days I'm going to crack and throttle them."

"I see," the doctor said as he stroked his short, graying goatee. He really looked like a psychologist. "Have you tried talking with them about it again?"

"Yes, I told them both that they need to start acting like mature adults because I'm tired of putting up with this crap. But then Kai starts making me out to be the bad guy, and Popuri joins in. If I had known Kai was going to act this way, I would never have hired him, let given him a place to live in my house."

"Are there any other alternatives to the situation?" Travis asked. "Such as the two of them getting their own house on your farm?"

"I wish. Gotz is booked up right now with orders, and even if he wasn't, Kai doesn't seem to be interested in moving out when he can eat my food and use my shower." Jack let out an exasperated sigh. "I've been hinting at him to put his name down on the carpenter list, but he keeps giving me shit about how he can't afford it. I know that's a lie, given the money I pay him. And I'm not paying for a house for him myself. I've considered it a few times, but if I did that, I might as well put on a collar and name myself his bitch."

"Okay then," Travis said as he scribbled something down on his clipboard. "Tell me Jack, you seem a lot angrier tonight than you normally are. Does this have to do with the anniversary?"

"Yes, but it's everything," Jack muttered. "It's every goddamn thing on this stupid rock we call an island. I never wanted to be a farmer, but here I am doing it for the rest of my life, and it's driving my crazy." Jack stood up as he felt his adrenaline pulsing. "I can't sleep well, I can't eat anything without feeling nauseous, my hair is graying, and it'll probably fall out in the next few years, I feel isolated, even with my friends… and I can't get laid! Doc, do you know I haven't had sex in what? Four and a half years? I'm tired of all this. I feel so frustrated!"

"I can see that," Travis replied in his usual calm voice. "If sexual activity is so important to you, then why haven't you explored your options?"

"Because I really don't feel like it. It's not self pity. It's just that I-… I don't know why."

"This isn't because of Ka-"

"No," Jack interrupted. He sat down in an attempt to settle his nerves. "Kassie… Kassie is dead. I've accepted that… I just don't know anymore why I won't. I guess… maybe I'm afraid of being intimate with others, even on a non-romantic level. I can't run away from it here if I mess up. I've been trying to suppress these thoughts for quite some time."

"You mean sexual thoughts? Such as?"

"I was afraid you would ask that," Jack sighed. "There's this one girl from South Flowers who occasionally visits with some of my friends. She's got the body and face of a pornstar, but she's kind of promiscuous, and I'm not really into one night stands. Call me old school, but I do prefer intimacy." He paused for a few seconds. "Then there's Karen." He paused again to arrange his thoughts. "We were friends before the strikes, but we didn't really grow close until afterwards. There's just something about her that I find really attractive. I used to always have these erotic thoughts about her, but it felt wrong because she's been dating Rick for years and she's my best friend now…" He stopped as his face began to redden. He watched as the doctor began to write more things down on his paper.

"Jack, what you're experiencing is perfectly natural," he said. "I can understand why you would want to suppress these thoughts, but it's unhealthy. It's perfectly normal that you would feel this way about somebody that you obviously care deeply about."

"It just feels so wrong," he repeated. "I haven't had those thoughts as often lately, but when I do, it's painful."

"Have you ever considered talking with her about these feelings?" Travis asked. Jack gave him a funny look.

"Are you kidding me? That would just make things worse! She'd never want to talk with me ever again!"

"If she's as close to you as you say she is, she may feel awkward, but she'll understand you and you may be able to work from there."

Jack shook his head. "I'm sorry, I can't do it. Not right now at least."

"Very well, but I hope you can consider your options. Think about that until our next meeting."

"Thanks doc," Jack said as he began to stand up.

"Oh Jack, one more thing," Travis said as Jack was preparing to leave. "Have you heard the voice recently?"

Jack paused what he was doing to think. "Yes. Last week on the night of the anniversary. I was getting ready to work the wall when I saw my gun in the mirror on my nightstand. The voice told me that I should "just get it over with" but I said no. I remembered what you told me. It's only as powerful as I let it become."

"That's good," Travis replied. "I wish there was somebody here who could provide you with medication, but we just don't have the right pills here."

"Yeah. I know. I'll be fine. I have been so far." He stood up again and reached the door to the hallway of the hospital's lobby. Before he walked out completely, he was stopped again by the psychologist.

"Jack…" he said in a sad voice. "You are improving. You've improved a lot since our first visit. And on a personal level, I want to say that everybody is grateful for what you do on that farm. This town wouldn't be the same if you weren't here."

Jack looked back at Dr. Travis and nodded as a way of saying thanks. Sometimes, just hearing those words made all the difference.

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><p>The night was warm. As Jack began to walk to the bar, he looked up into the night sky to see the vast collection of stars. It was something he appreciated viewing, knowing that dust was blocking the sky in many places on Earth except for this island. He glanced down the street at the houses, lit up by the inhabitants. The new families brought life to this town. Before the strikes, there was a great fear among the townspeople that genetic variation wouldn't last past the next few generations, but that was no longer a concern. The new concern would be supporting a growing population. They made enough food and supplies to cover the population now, but nobody knew how long that would last for.<p>

He finally reached the bar. The place was lit up as normal with many people stopping in after a days work. The eating hours had ended and the drinking hours had begun as the people came in to drink and socialize after a hard day of labor. Alcohol consumption had skyrocketed with the increase of the population, causing the winery to go into hyper mode for making drinks for the years to come.

"Jack, you made it!" Ann said ecstatically as he reached the counter. "I thought you were gonna no show. What'll you have?"

"I'll take a heavy red," Jack stated as he sat down in a stool. "That'll be it for me tonight."

"Okay, I'll be right back," she said cheerily.

"Jack, you order the same damn drink every time I see you here." He turned to his right to see Karen sipping her whisky and smiling. "You need to take a ride on the wild side, babe. Try something a little stronger."

"I'd rather not right now. I feel like sticking to what I know." The truth was that he didn't want to get drunk, since the last time that happened, he ended up crying in the middle of the street like a baby. Of course, he wasn't going to tell anybody else that. Ann came back with his glass, and left to deal with other customers after he handed her the coins he owed.

"Wow, you're such a little girl," Karen giggled as she sipped again. Jack chuckled a little bit awkwardly. It felt strange talking with her right now since he and Travis had just discussed her.

"So, no Rick tonight?" Jack asked as he took another sip.

"No, he couldn't make it. Something about the chickens. It's always about those damn chickens. If they had boobs, he probably wouldn't even pay attention to me," she said as she finished up her glass. "Hey Ann, I'm dry!"

"Hey Ann, where's Cliff?" Jack questioned as she came over to refill Karen's glass.

"You didn't see him? He's over at one of the pool tables. Lola is handing his ass to him again, I assume." Jack looked over to see Cliff playing against the hottest castaway to wash up on the island. She was wearing short jean shorts and a dark blue tank top. Her skin had a nice tan from working in the sun all day, and her raven hair flowed over her shoulders like a waterfall.

"Oh, she's visiting?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, she's staying a few days. She said she's been stockpiling her days off so she could come visit." As Ann walked away to get back to work, Jack kept watching Lola play as she sunk another ball, causing Cliff to curse. Cliff was one of the best pool players Jack knew, but Lola was twice as good. He'd never seen anybody beat her yet.

"How do you think she got so good at playing pool?" Karen asked. Jack turned around to notice that she was watching too.

"Well," Jack pondered, "I guess when you deal with balls and sticks as much as she does, it starts coming naturally." Karen stared blankly at him for a few moments before she put it together.

"Oh Jack, you have such a dirty mind," she giggled. She was beginning to get tipsy.

"So, I've heard," he replied. "I'll be back soon. She's gonna want to play me next." He stood up and walked over to the pool table and waited for the game to end.

"Eight ball, that corner," Lola declared as she walked around to where Jack was standing, though she didn't notice him. As she bent over to make her shot, Jack couldn't help but look. Her ass looked great in those shorts. With a quick motion, she knocked the ball into the pocket.

"I win again, sweetie. Pay up!"

"You suck!" Cliff cursed as he began to count out the money he bet. "Oh, hey Jack."

Lola turned around and gave Jack an intriguing look. "Well, hello Jackie," she said with an extra bit of sweetness in her voice. "It's been way too long."

"Yeah, too long," he answered absent mindedly, avoiding eye contact with her. He didn't want to fall under her spell. "Cliff, why do you even bother playing her for money? You never win."

"Yeah, well I was feeling lucky tonight," he sighed as he paid his wager. "I'm getting another drink. Kick her ass for me." Jack watched him return to the bar. It was amazing how much he came out of his shell since during his first year in town, he never talked with anybody except Carter and Ann.

"So, Jackie, we playing or what?" Lola asked with her eyebrow raised.

"Oh, sure. Yeah, hold on." He placed his glass on a table and began collecting the balls to rack up. It was the same ritual as always when Lola visited. He never beat her in pool either, but it was always fun to try.

"What are we gonna wager tonight?" she asked, but Jack just shook his head.

"Nothing tonight. I just want to play."

"Oh, your no fun," she pouted.

"No, I'm just smart. I'm not going to be able to beat you."

"Not with that attitude you won't," she giggled. "I'll tell you what sweetie," she said seductively as she moved closer to him. "How about if I win, you buy me a drink."

"And if I win?" he asked, knowing he wasn't going to be able to play her without making some sort of bet.

"Well," she whispered in a sexy tone just inches away from his face. "I'll let you use your imagination on that one."

"Whatever. You break," he answered in a disinterested voice. It didn't matter anyway what he would win, since it wasn't going to happen.

"So," she said in a normal voice as she made a perfect break, "how've you been lately?"

"Exhausted." he answered. "The work is hard, but what else is new? Two ball, that pocket," he called as he pointed before making a shot. He sunk it. "What about you? How's the wall coming? Six ball, that pocket." He made another shot and missed.

"Slowly as usual. It's boring work," she answered as she lined up a shot. "Eleven ball, that pocket." She made an easy shot. "It's keeping me in great shape, but otherwise..." She lined up another shot. "Ten ball, that pocket." She sunk another.

"I can see that," he commented. The two of them continued to chat as the game progressed. She was nice to talk to, but it didn't change Jack's overall opinion of her.

"Eight ball, that side pocket." She made a perfect shot. "Good game, hun."

"Hey, I did better this time. I got three in before you beat me."

"Yeah, but you're to easy. At least Cliff is a threat," she giggled. "It's like taking candy from a baby."

"Ouch, that's pretty cold," he sighed. "What drink do you want?"  
>"I'm gonna rain check the drink right now. I want to see who else I can win stuff from, so I'll collect my reward at a later date."<p>

"Okay, I need to get more wine. Nice playing with you."

"Okay, later Jackie," Lola said with a cute wave at the end. Jack picked up his empty glass and brought it back over to the bar.

"Hey Ann, I need more of the red," he asked.

"Hey Jack, you need to hit that already," Cliff commented as he took another sip of his drink. "She was pretty much begging you at one point."

"Let's not and say I did," he replied as he took his new drink from Ann.

"Oh come on Jack, why not ask her out?" Ann butted in.

"Because she's a ho," he answered simply.

"Jack, that's not nice, she's my friend!" Ann whispered as if Lola was in earshot.

"But it's also not false," he stated thoughtfully.

"No, Ann, Jack's right," Karen joined in. Her words were slightly beginning to slur now. "Jack, you're a nice guy, so you should find a nice girl and just be nice together and stuff."  
>"Gee, thanks Karen," he laughed. She was always cute when she was drunk.<p>

"YOU LITTLE CHEATING BASTARD!" Suddenly there was a crash. Jack and the others turned around in their chairs to see the commotion.

"Oh, not agai- Somebody get Andrew off of him!" Ann yelled. As Jack sprang to his feet and rushed over to the scene, Andrew was on top of Phillip, trying to strangle him. He had knocked over the poker table doing so. Jack joined Duke and another man to grab Andrew and yank him off his target.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Duke shouted. "You just ruined the game!"  
>"He's cheating! When's the last time you've seen anybody get a flush like that!" Andrew yelled. His breath reeked of alcohol.<p>

"Is Tammy here?" Jack called out to the crowd people. She eventually walked up to them, her face was flushed with embarrassment over her brother's actions. "Take your brother home." She nodded and grabbed her brothers hand, and he grudgingly followed her out.

"As you were!" Duke shouted, and everybody went back to what they were doing as if nothing happened.

"You okay Phil?" Jack asked his worker.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he muttered with a scowl. "I can't believe they took him home before he could pay me. I just won a week's pay!"

"Yeah, sorry about that," Jack replied sullenly. "Jesus, this is the third time this month we've had to pull him off somebody." His adrenaline was bursting again from the excitement. Andrew had always had a fiery temper, but he had been letting it get out of control as of late, and it had been nothing but trouble.

"I guess some people can't handle paradise."

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><p>The clock had just struck eleven. Jack felt even more warmed up in the summer air now that he had wine in his belly. In the midst of the toil to keep Mineral Town alive, it were the simple things that brought him pleasure. Even so, the stress from his meeting with Dr. Travis and the bar fight were getting to his nerves.<p>

He reached his house, but as he entered, he could here Popuri and Kai in their room. Their night was just getting started.  
>"I don't need this right now," he groaned, and he turned around to exit the house. He continued walking south until he reached the southern most part of the farm before looking back on his creation. It really did look great now with the new buildings and field development, but it still wasn't enough. The next project would be to build more housing so the worker would have a more spacious living situation. They would also be building a new house for Flint too. It was only fair, given that he was third in the chain of command, and since he was much older than the people he lived with.<p>

Jack continued walking south into the forest. He passed the empty spaces where trees once stood. Gotz and his workers had been cutting down trees more often for construction. They had planted saplings in the places where trees had once been, but it would be years before the location would look as it once did.

He finally took a right onto the small hill where the Goddess Spring was. He walked over to the hot spring and gave a quick double take around the area before stripping down and getting into the warm water. With the town's new massive population, bathing naked in the hot spring was hard to do without being walked in on, but at this hour, Jack wasn't too worried. It had been awhile since he had a good soak in the spring, and it was a great way to relax after a strange and chaotic day. He looked up at the stars. Away from the lights of town, there seemed to be more of them now.

"I don't know anymore," he said to himself. "Sometimes the island is Heaven. Sometimes it's Hell. But if it is Hell, at least it's beautiful."

After he got his fill of the warm water, he dressed himself and walked over to the Goddess Spring and looked into the waters where the stars and moon were reflected. The waters could cure radiation poisoning by bathing in it and drinking it. If that couldn't convince a man of the existence of a higher power, what could?

Suddenly, he swore he could see the face of a beautiful smiling woman staring back at him from the reflection. But as he looked harder, it was gone. With a sigh, he gave a quick bow of his head and left for home. The world would need him in the morning.

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><p><strong>Not much is really happening yet. It's really hard to give a reminder to the reader that this takes place in a post-apocalyptic world when their lives go on with only some alteration. Again, this story is going to have much more focus on Jack's psyche than anything.<strong>

** So this story will have a developing romance soon, because it plays an important part of the story. So for a bit of fun, I've made a poll about this. While the votes will not determine the result in the story, it will give the readers an opportunity to take a guess. I've also made a forum about this story. Feel free to post if you're interested. They're on my account info.  
><strong>

** Anyway, review. I may not be able to update frequently in the future, but I'll get to it when I can. Since I'm writing two works at once right now, it will be difficult.**


	4. Chapter Two: Demigods

**So I was hoping that I'd get reviews on the last chapter, being that it was the first real chapter, but hey, maybe it wasn't review worthy. Either way, I will be honest that many of these early chapters may be boring. Give me some reviews on your opinions. I just hope nobody is expecting an action story just because it's in a post-nuclear holocaust globe. There will be action, but it's not the primary focus.**

**Chapter Two, ladies and germs. Enjoy!**

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><p><em>A marvel that has nothing to offer, democracy is at once a nation's paradise and its tomb. - <em>Emile M. Cioran

**Chapter Two: Demigods **

_Date: July 2__nd__ 2011. Saturday, 1:00 PM_

There were several puffy clouds in the sky today, providing some protection from the sun's harsh rays. Jack laid out in the grass next to the river that ran next to his farm, eating a sandwich, while Brody watched eagerly in hopes that his master would give him a bite.

Saturdays were Jack's day off. Even though an emergency could occur and force him to work, that didn't happen often. The only real work that he expected would happen today would be going to a town council meeting that took place in the church every Saturday evening, and that was never really work. It was usually just them discussing the town's status and voting on new ordinances or rulings. The only thing that was a little bit shady about the whole system of government was that only the land and business owners, and the mayor, were the ones with power. It paid to be rich.

"Jaaaaack!" cried an obnoxiously high voice. Jack rolled his eyes and sat up. Nothing could ruin a perfect moment like Popuri. He got to feet and walked over to the poultry building where she was standing, looking upset.

"You need something?" he asked civilly before taking another bite of his lunch.

"Jack, the chicken coop is getting dirty again. Can you clean it up?" she whined.

"Popuri," he said as he finished up his sandwich. "When you came to this farm, you were so eager to work with these birds that you begged me to be in charge of them. It's your duty to get the job done. Not mine."

"But I've been working so hard all day and I need a break," she continued.

"So, get one of your workers to do it then," Jack sighed.

"They're at lunch!"

"Then wait till they get back. This isn't rocket science. If it was, I would have hired Mary to do this," he answered. The conversation was only a few seconds old and it already felt as though it had dragged on for hours.

"Or you can do it," Popuri said angrily. "All you've been doing is laying down all day!"

"Um, hello? This is my day off!" Jack shot back. "Yours is tomorrow, and all the years you've worked here, I've never bothered you or Kai on your days off. Not to mention that this is my property and business, and you're employed by me to take care of these stupid birds, so do your job!"

"Don't call them stupid," she yelled at him. She always got emotional over the poultry. "They don't like that!"

"They don't care!" Jack yelled back. "They're goddamn birds! If it starts raining, the turkeys will look up at the sky and drown themselves!"

"You're a real jerk, Jack," Popuri shouted. Her eyes were beginning to get moist. Jack began to calm himself internally. He didn't want to be the bad guy over somebody else's work.

"Look," he sighed in a tired voice. "It's my day off. So please, if you really are unable to clean up all the bird shit, just get somebody who works with you to do it, okay?"

She gave him a dirty look and walked off. Jack let out a loud groan and shook his head. "If only she were a man. Then I could punch her," he thought. It was crap like this that he had to put up with everyday.

He felt something pecking at his foot. He looked down to see a duckling had escaped the chicken wire fence through a hole. He reached down and picked up the little bird and looked at it's fluffy face. Sometimes he envied the animals. None of them cared about being stuck on the island or that the world outside had been obliterated. They didn't have to put up with annoying housemates either. So long as they had food and a place to sleep, they were content.

"Keep on dreaming, little guy," he said as he put the duckling inside the fence before pushing a rock in front of the tiny bird's escape route. Suddenly, Brody gave a loud bark. Jack turned around to see what he was barking. It was Gotz.

"Hey Gotz," Jack greeted the woodcutter with higher spirits.

"Hey Jack," he replied in a gruff voice. "It's your day off today, right?"

"Yeah, until later," Jack answered.

"Oh, okay. I was just about to go to the deer lookout and I wanted to see if you wanted to join me."

"Sure, lemme get my gun," Jack said. He walked quickly back to his house and opened the cabinet, but before picking up the hunting rifle, he noticed the bow. "That would be a lot better actually," he thought to himself, so he picked up the bow and slung the quiver of arrows over his shoulder before going out to meet Gotz again, who gave him a funny look.

"You're going to use _'that'_?" he asked.

"Well, I figure it would better to conserve bullets. Besides, I've been missing lately with this thing, so I need more practice." He looked over to see Popuri whining to Kai. He figured it was probably about what he had said to her, because Kai then shot Jack a stare of death. "Besides, it's always better to practice on something that isn't a human," he added.

* * *

><p>The deer lookout was a small craggy ledge within the forest that gave a clear view of a small clearing below. Deer frequently came and went through this location, making it a great spot to hunt. After sitting on spot for an hour, Gotz had spotted an old stag.<p>

"Do you think you can make the shot?" Jack asked in a whisper.

"I don't know," Gotz replied in an even softer whisper. He's slightly behind that tree. I can see where his heart is, but I would almost be cutting through the bark to hit him." He adjusted his gun's aim. "Not to mention this is an old gun. I don't know how straight it's going to shoot."

The deer turned his head. He seemed aware that he was being watched.

"He's gonna bolt soon. You might as well take the shot," Jack replied.

BANG!

The deer fled.

"Damn it!" Gotz grunted. "Hit the tree."

"I'm sorry," Jack whispered.

"Don't be. It's this damn gun. I need to see if Saibara can fix it," he groaned.

"We're gonna need to head back soon," Jack said as he looked at the sun. "Council meeting tonight." In truth, they could stay longer, but since neither man had a watch, it would be better if they left early. It was easy to lose track of time at the lookout. "Do you think we're gonna get another deer?"

"Doubt it. That shot probably sent them all running," Gotz sighed. The two men sat in silence, briefly contemplating their failure.

"We should start capturing and raising deer," Jack commented. "Easy source of meat, and we wouldn't have to waste bullets on them."

"I tried doing that once. It didn't work out so well," Gotz replied. "I might consider it again though with all the help. We could probably put together a deer fence in half a day," he said, referring to his workers.

"Only thing is, this place would become meaningless if we could get deer at anytime," Jack stated with a bit of sadness.

"Yeah, that would be pretty sad," Gotz sighed. "I love this place. I brought my son here when he was a child on his first hunting trip. And my daughter…" He paused. "My daughter used to pick the red orchids that grow down there near the clearing," he continued, pointing to a large stone/

This information was interesting to Jack. Gotz never talked too much about his family. Jack knew from looking at the tombstones in the cemetery that Gotz's wife and daughter were dead. He was unaware of what happened to Gotz's son, since he didn't live on the island and wasn't in the cemetery. Jack's guess was that he was dead now as well, but he never asked. Mineral Town was full of taboo subjects, and this was one of them.

"These orchids," Jack pondered. "Do they smell nice?"

"Yeah, I would assume so," Gotz answered giving Jack a peculiar look. "Why?"

"Oh nothing, I need to pick some flowers for a friend," he answered, thinking of Elli.

The two sat in an awkward silence. While Jack enjoyed Gotz's company, they had little to say to one another, especially in the monotonous life of living in Mineral Town.

"So what do you think we'll be talking about tonight?" Gotz asked, in regards to the meeting.

"I don't know. Probably a status report, and I think they want me to start growing more broccoli," Jack replied before drifting off into his own thoughts. "Oh, and Andrew."

"Who? What?" Gotz asked. Jack remembered that Gotz never left the forest that often.

"Tammy's brother," Jack continued. "You know, Tammy who runs the bakery?"

"Yes Jack, I'm well aware of who Tammy is," Gotz said in an annoyed voice.  
>"Just making sure. Anyway, he's been starting drunken fights a lot lately. Two nights ago, he attacked one of my workers over a card game. This is the third time this month, so I'm sure somebody is going to bring it up. What do you think?"<p>

"I don't know. Didn't we send that other angry boy to South Flowers?" Gotz asked. "Maybe we'll do the same thing to him."

"Tammy will hate us if we do that," Jack replied.

"That's too damn bad," Gotz said. "We all have to cooperate in this time of struggle. If Andrew can't hold his alcohol well, he shouldn't be given a free pass."

"Yeah, you're right. We're all responsible for our act-" he froze in mid sentence. "Check it out. Look at that stag!" he whispered excitedly. A beautiful young stag had walked into the clearing. It stood in almost the same position as the older one before it.

"Wow, it is a fine stag," Gotz whispered in awe. "Looks like a fourteen pointer too."

"I swear, I want that thing's head on my wall!" Jack muttered. "I've never been one for stuffing animals, but this one… Do you know how to preserve the head?"  
>"I don't, but Doug does," Gotz answered.<p>

"Oh yeah," Jack said as he remembered the various deer heads in the bar. "I'm going to shoot this one." He strung an arrow in his bow and began to pull back.

"Jack, he's in the same position as the last one," Gotz reminded him. There's no way you can hit him with a bow and-"  
>"I bet you twenty cabbages that I drop him," Jack cut in.<p>

Gotz covered his laugh with his hand. "Jack, if you make the kill, I'll pay for Doug to preserve the head for you myself."

"Deal!" Jack agreed, and with that, he let the arrow fly. It whizzed into the clearing and pierced the Stag's heart, causing it to fall over dead. Jack looked back at the stunned Gotz. "Just call me Jack Slater, Lord of the forest."

* * *

><p>"Oh Jack, these are beautiful," Elli gasped as she inhaled the red orchids' sweet aroma. "And they smell even better!"<p>

"Yeah, I figured you'd say that," Jack chuckled with pride. The evening hours had set in on the clinic, as the bustle of doctors had died down. Elli was the only staff person in sight. "I know they aren't what you typically ask for, but I thought you'd like them anyway."

"Oh I do," she said as she inhaled again. "I've never seen flowers like these anywhere. Where did you find them?" she asked.

"Elli, Elli, Elli," Jack repeated suavely, "if I told you, then the mystery would die and these flowers wouldn't be so special."

"You just don't want me finding them myself so I have to keep paying you," she giggled.

"Okay, you caught me," he said throwing his hands up in the air. "They grow near a place called the 'deer lookout' in the southern forest."

"Oh, okay," she replied as her smile fell. "I don't know where that is though."

"I'll show it to you sometime then," he suggested. He looked at the clock in the room. 6:53 P.M. "I'm going to have to get to the meeting."

"Oh, Jack," Elli added as she began to blush. "This is humiliating. I don't have any extra money with me right now and I still owe you for last week."

"Seriously, don't worry about it right now. You're an honest girl, so I know you'll pay me back. And besides," he added as he gave her a fake serious stare as he placed both hands on the counter and looked her in the eyes. "I know where you live."

"Okay, thanks Jack," she laughed. It was always easy to make her laugh.

"Anyway, I'll be seeing you," he finished as he began to walk out.

"Bye Jack," she called after him.

"She really is a sweet girl," he thought to himself as he began his walk to the church. The day off had been pretty good thus far, but it was definitely at its peak. Nothing killed a good buzz like a council meeting.

Even though he arrived a few minutes early, everybody else had already taken a seat in the church's front rows. Jack took a seat next to Barley as the Mayor took his seat in front of the group.

"Okay, it appears everybody is here now," the Mayor said in his somewhat squeaky voice. They used to do a role call, but that stopped after a few meetings since the group was so small. "Let's do a status report. We'll start with you, Zack. How's the situation on the wall?"

"Well, I seriously think we need to start adding more guards to the shifts so we don't have the volunteers working twice a week. It's becoming a hassle trying to rearrange this schedule all the time and…"

As Zack continued talking, Jack's mind was wandering elsewhere. These meetings were usually pretty boring unless a big event such as the ship crash had occurred before hand. But it was important that he was there anyway for whatever voting occurred since the fate of the town rested on fourteen hands. Sometimes it felt like playing with a doll house and the other town's people were the dolls.

"Jack?" the Mayor asked, breaking Jack from his daydream. It was his turn.

"Oh, right," he mumbled. "The summer crops are coming in nicely and the animals are fine too. Our next big advancement plan will be to start building new housing units for our workers, hopefully before the winter. When the time comes, we'll be sending a message to the utility guys about laying down new pipes and wires."

"Very good, Jack," the Mayor responded. "Rick?"

Jack sighed as he sat back down. He had said the exact same statement word for word the week before. It didn't really matter though what he said so long as it wasn't negative. After three years, the town had reached a permanent point of stability, despite the worries of essential supplies running low.

"Okay then, the status report for this week is complete," the Mayor said after everybody had finished. "We have no proposed ordinances to discuss, so are there any concerns?" Only Doug raised his hand.

"I have one," he stated. "It's regarding Andrew Palmer. Two nights ago, he started another fight in my bar. That's three times in the last month he's caused a disturbance on my property, and if my count is correct, it's the seventh public disturbance he's caused in the last two months. I've already suspended him from my bar until further notice and fined him for the damages he's caused, but I think that this has gone on long enough. It's time the boy faces repercussions for his actions."

"My brother has already paid you the money," Tammy jumped in. "Plus, it's partly the bar's fault for serving him past being drunk."

"We never intentionally serve people until they are _that_ drunk," Doug protested. "Andrew did that on his own doing. Not ours."

"Even if the bar did over serve Mr. Palmer," Anna cut in, "he is responsible for his own choices and actions. He has been getting worse, and those visits with the psychologist that we prescribed six weeks ago are not working." Many council members muttered in agreement.

"Can't we give him more time?" Tammy pleaded. "He's an alcoholic and he wants to get better."

"I agree with Tammy," Pastor Carter said. "We must be supportive in this time of struggle for the young man."  
>"With all due respect, I think he's been given too many chances," Jack stated. "There are many other alcoholics in this town who don't cause nearly as many problems as Andrew has in the last few months. I think it's about time we take action."<br>"I agree that it is time we act on this," the Mayor said, breaking the chatter. "A few days ago, I got word that one of the blacksmiths in Forget-Me-Not Valley had recently been killed in an attack while he was guarding their wall. They need a replacement. Since Andrew has proven to be a competent black smith, we can send him over to the valley to fill the position, where in starting a new lifestyle there, he can get another chance to rehabilitate. It's not a perfect solution, but given our limited options, it's a good place to start."

"Now wait just a minute," Saibara interrupted. "Andrew is one of my best workers. I don't like the idea of him-"

"You have plenty of employees," The Mayor said, cutting the old black smith off. "Losing Andrew shouldn't halt production of-"

"I don't like this plan," Tammy said, interrupting the Mayor once more. "Besides, what if he needs my help?"

"There will be plenty of people to look after him there," the Mayor replied with slight anger at the interruption. "Besides, Mineral Town isn't far from here. It's not as though you can't visit him."

"Hello? It's not as though I can just close the bakery every time he has a break down and run up to Forge-"

"Enough!" the Mayor shouted. "You've made your point. But I've made mine. There will be people there who can look after him. Now who here believes that we should not move Andrew to Forget-Me-Not Valley yet?" Only Tammy, Carter, and Saibara raised their hands.

"Okay, and who believes that we should move him to the valley?" One by one following Mayor Thomas's declaration, Doctor Tim, Jeff, Anna, Duke, Zack, Doug, Rick, Barley, Gotz, and Jack all raised their hands. Jack felt uncomfortable about forcing such a change onto Andrew, but he felt as though it was better than having to deal with him all the time.

"Then it's settled. He will be moved out on this Wednesday. I'll send word to the valley so they can prepare for his arrival. If his condition improves within the next year, we will discuss him returning to living in Mineral Town" The Mayor looked over at Jack. "Jack, can I trust you to move your next day off to Wednesday so that you can personally take Mr. Palmer and his things to the valley by cart?"

Jack sighed. He wanted to ask the Mayor if he could have one of his workers run the errand instead of him, but he complied and nodded his head.

"Very well. Are there any other concerns?" Nobody raised a voice. "Okay then, meeting adjourned." Immediately after the final words were said, Tammy stood up and stormed out of the church. Jack looked on at her sympathetically.

"She's mad," he muttered the obvious.

"She has every right to be, but we didn't have much choice," said Rick as he walked up beside Jack.

"Still, I can't help but feel we have too much power," Jack whispered back silently in hopes that none of the others would hear. "It's as though we're playing God."

"Well," Rick shrugged, "somebody has to."  
>"Yeah…" Jack's voice trailed off. "Too bad God can't do it himself."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>So anyway, I hope none of the readers got raptured, because then they wouldn't know what happens next. But anyway, reviews are cool. Thanks all! And R.I.P. 'Macho Man' Randy Savage.<strong>


	5. Chapter Three: New Eyes

**Reviews from the readers:**

_You update crazy fast, which I like, and everyone is perfectly in character._

**To be honest, I normally never update stories this fast. But since I'm out of school for the summer, and I've been very unsuccessful at finding a job, I have a lot of time on my hands right now. That, and writing this is a lot easier than writing pokemon battles.**

_I can't remember if there was ever a Harvest Moon character named Andrew, or_

_if its another OC(which would be cool too), but I'm really excited to see him._

_He sounds like an interesting character. _

**There isn't an Andrew in Harvest Moon or at least in the games I've played. He is an OC. There are going to be quite a few OCs in this story (the population of Mineral Town is almost 200 due to castaways, which pretty much multiplies the population by 10) but there are only a few that are important such as Dr. Travis, Lola, Flint, etc. so you won't have to remember a whole lot of names. Andrew isn't that important though since I'm using him as a plot device.**

_Jack's angst is pretty neat. It's nice to see he's not overly emotional at the point of almost being an emo._

**That was what I wanted to avoid. You see, the word "angst" has that stereotypical "OMG, IMMA GONNA CUT MAHSELF" definition. For all intensive purposes, Jack is just a normal guy with some psychological issues. I guess that makes him like the rest of us then...**

* * *

><p><em>Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. <em>- Anne Frank

**Chapter Three: New Eyes**

_Date: July 6th __2011. Wednesday, 11:14 AM _

"Okay Julie, is Boulder ready to go?" Jack asked groggily. He was not looking forward to this day.

"Almost," the teen said as she finished preparing the draft horse for pulling the carts. "There, he's ready. But are you sure you don't need another horse?"

"Nah, we're only pulling two carts, and they won't be very filled. Besides, Boulder could probably pull three on a good day, couldn't you?" he asked the horse. No response. Boulder was deaf.

"Well, let's get you outside," Jack sighed as he lead the horse outside of the stable. The workers were sweating under the hot sun. Jack felt bad that he was getting a reprieve on this hot day, but he had other duties.

"The first cart is loaded up with the valley stock," Flint said as he wiped a bead of sweat off his brow. Usually, Takakura would bring shipments back to the valley as he brought Forget-Me-Not's shipment into Mineral Town, but Jack had given him warning that he would run both duties today since he had to head to the valley anyway.

"Thanks Flint," Jack mumbled as got up to sit in the front seat of the cart.

"You look awful," Flint commented.

"I appreciate the honesty," Jack chuckled. "I only got three hours of sleep."

"That wall duty is going to be the death of you," Flint said gravely.

"Well, when you're willing to take my place, let me know," Jack joked.

"Maybe if a good pair of glasses washes up on that beach, I'll take you up on that offer."

The bakery where Tammy and Andrew lived wasn't too far from the farm, as it was on the left side of the north road near the winery. Jack made a wide turn to face the horse south before tying him up and getting out. The siblings were already waiting for him outside of the bakery with Andrew's things.

"You need any help loading your things?" Jack asked politely. Neither of the Palmer's responded verbally, but they both glared on at Jack. It was obvious that Tammy had told Andrew that Jack had voted in favor of this at the meeting.

"Okay then," Jack said. "Good to know this is going to be a memorable experience at all of us." He leaned against the fence while he watched the two pack up. The smell of fresh bread was drifting out of the bakery. Jack took a quick whiff and felt his mouth begin to water.

"Jack, wake up, we're ready," Tammy called in an annoyed tone. Jack shook off the sleepiness untied Boulder before hopping back into the front cart. He looked back to see that Andrew and Tammy were both in the back cart. Jack gave Tammy a funny look. "You're coming to?"

"I'm letting Ashley run the bakery for a few days so I can help Andrew get settled," she stated flatly.

"Okay," Jack shrugged. He faced forward again and put his hand on his head. "This is going to be such a long day," he groaned to himself before giving the reigns a shake. Boulder felt this and began to walk. The moment after the horse began pulling the carts, Jack looked to the left and noticed that Elli was walking up by the carts side. She was carrying a large sack filled with something.

"Hey Elli," he greeted with a happier sounding voice.

"Oh, hey Jack," she replied cheerfully. "Where are you headed with all that stuff?"

"Oh this? I'm helping Andrew move over to Forget-Me-Not, and I'm dropping off some goods at the ranch."

"Really? I'm heading over there too," she said.

"Well you should hop in," Jack suggested. He pulled back on the reigns, forcing Boulder to stop.

"Oh, I couldn't impose," she said sweetly.

"Elli, I'm not going to let you walk all the way to the valley with that load," he said pointing at the sack, "when I can give you a ride there. You can put that bag with in this cart and hop in."

"Okay," she said happily as she put her bag in the cart. "Where do I sit?"

Jack looked back and noticed that there were not any good places left in the first cart and he didn't want to make her sit in the second cart with the Palmer's. "You can sit up here with me. There's enough room in the driver's seat for two people."

"Okay, thanks Jack!" She hoisted herself up into the seat next to him, and with another shake of the reigns, the horse was off again.

* * *

><p>The path to the valley went over a small tree covered mountain that was west of the lake. The trail was known as the Devil's Slide, since it had been grooved out of the earth by millions of years of water flowing down from the mountain's peak. Now it was dry and shady, making it a perfect trail to travel on such a sunny day.<p>

The trip between the towns was about an hour and a half long by foot, which was about the speed that Boulder was pulling the carts. After briefly chatting with Elli about work, the conversation fell silent. Jack felt too tired to try and create a new conversation. The only sounds that persisted now were those of the singing birds, and the whispers between Andrew and Tammy.

Bored at staring at the road in front of him, Jack turned his head to look at the passenger sitting next to him while she wasn't paying attention. He noticed that she was wearing jean shorts and a light blue blouse as opposed to the nurse's gown she usually wore. Her hair was the same as always, being a short brown cut not exceeding her shoulders. Normally, Jack was a sucker for long hair, but Elli pulled the look off quite nicely.

"So how are you two?" Elli finally asked the siblings when they reached a break in their whispering. Neither of them responded but simply glared back, causing Elli's smile to fade.

"I wouldn't bother," Jack whispered to her so the siblings wouldn't hear. "They're pretty pissed off."

"Why?" she asked with a whisper.

"It's a long story," Jack stated.

"Does it have to do with all the fights he's been getting into?" Elli asked quietly.

"Yeah, pretty much," Jack responded. His eyes drifted back to the road. He still felt bad about the whole situation.

"You're awfully quiet today," Elli commented.

"Oh?"

"I'm just saying, normally you would have said something inappropriate by now," she giggled.

"Is that what I am to you Elli? A source of vulgarity?" Jack asked with fake anger. "I'm offended!"

"No, no, not like that," she laughed. "I just meant that you always say something that's just off the wall, and it's funny. But you seem kind of off today."

"Well," Jack sighed as his voice switched back to normal. "I'm just tired from guarding the wall last night. I've been going through the motions all morning and I've been thinking too much about random things."

"Like what?" Elli asked.

"Well for one," Jack started as he tried to recall the things he was thinking of, "I honestly don't remember the last time I've seen you out of uniform."

"You've never seen me out of those gowns?" she asked while giving him an odd look.

"No, I have, I just don't ever remember you wearing anything else."

"Well, I don't wear them on days when I don't work, but that's not often," she replied. "Even on my days off, I still have some work to do. Luckily, I was able to get away from the clinic today to make this delivery."

"Oh, I get you," Jack said with a mischievous smile. While Elli was still looking at him, he did a quick double take and then whispered, "So, who did you kill?" he asked as he motioned his head towards the bag.

"Jack, I didn't kill anybody," Elli giggled. "They're herbs that I'm delivering to Dr. Hardy."

"Right, _herbs_," he continued before leaning his head over towards Elli. "I know a few places where you can hide a dead body. I have a friend who will-"

"Jack, quit it," Elli laughed as she punched him in the arm. "I didn't kill anybody."

"Wow, don't get so defensive, I was just trying to help!" Jack laughed along. He glanced backwards to see the Palmer siblings looking at him, wondering why he was suddenly in a good mood.

"The bag is full of black grass," Elli stated. "It doesn't grow in Forget-Me-Not Valley, but it has a lot of medical properties, so we make occasional deliveries." She looked back over at Jack. "Does THAT satisfy your curiosity?"

"Yes, Elli, it does," he pouted. "It's just not as fun." In truth however, the last few minutes had been the most fun he had had all week.

* * *

><p>Forget-Me-Not Valley was a lot smaller than Mineral Town in both size and population, but in Jack's opinion, it was much prettier. The town was built on a large hill side, and the current population numbered slightly over a hundred. Jack took a deep breath of fresh air and let out a loud sigh.<p>

"The air here tastes so clean," he stated. As the cart pulled up to the town's ranch, Jack looked over at one of the ranch's workers and waved to get his attention. "Hey kid, can you tell Gabe I have a delivery for him?" The boy nodded and ran around a building corner to find his boss.

"Hey, thanks for giving me a ride here," Elli said as she hopped down from the cart. "Dr. Hardy's clinic is right down the road, so I'll just walk from here."

"Okay," Jack replied as he picked up Elli's bag of herbs and handed it to her. "After this delivery, I have to take Andrew down to the blacksmith's. I can give you a ride back if you want."

Okay, thanks Jack," she responded happily as she walked down the road. Jack turned his head to the right to see that the young worker had returned with Gabriel and a few of his ranch hands. Gabe was about Jack's height, and had messy brown hair and a charming smile that never seemed to leave his face.

"Hey Gabe."

"Oh hey Jack," he replied in high spirits. "Tak said you were bringing the shipment today."

"Yup, it's right here in the first cart," Jack said as he jumped out of the cart to help the workers take the goods to the store house. "So, everything going well with you guys up here?"

"Yup, our harvest is coming in strong," Gabe answered. "Yours?"

"Great. How's the wife?"

"She's good."

"The kids?"  
>"They're good too," he replied in the same good tone. After a few minutes, all of the goods were in the storehouse, and the Mineral Town shipment was loaded up. Jack looked around at Gabe's farm. It was a lot smaller than his, but Gabe seemed to be using every inch of it to its maximum potential. He was genetically built for this job.<p>

"Well, that's the last of it," Gabe said as they finished the unloading. "I'll send you payment tomorrow."

"Okay, thanks Gabe, I'll do the same," Jack replied as he wiped some sweat from his forehead. "Let me know when you're in Mineral Town, and we can go get a drink or something."

"Anytime, friend," Gabe chuckled. "I'll see you around then."

"Yeah, be seeing you," Jack said as he walked back to the carts to find Andrew and Tammy getting impatient with the wait. After untying his horse again, he had the creature pull the carts down to the valley's blacksmith's forge.

"Alright you two," he said as Boulder halted. "They have an extra room available here where you'll be staying and what not. I guess I won't be seeing you for awhile Andrew, so good luck to you."

Silence.

Jack let the siblings unload as he finished drinking the water that was left in his flask. He felt his stomach growling and began to wonder when he'd be able to eat lunch. He also felt his eyes beginning to get heavy. The lack of sleep he had been getting was really beginning to catch up with him.

"You can leave now, Jack," Andrew announced gravely after all his things were unpacked.

"Okay then, goodbye," Jack said, but Andrew didn't respond again, and went back into the building. "and for God's sake, don't kill them with kindness or anything," he added once the door shut behind him.

"Hey Jack," Elli's voice chimed as she approached the carts. "I figured I'd be done before you, so I asked the doctor where the blacksmith was. How much longer were you planning on staying?"

"Me? I was planning on leaving now if you were. I want to catch up on some sleep," he said as he stretched his arms and let out a small yawn.

"Okay. I don't want to keep you then. But do you want to get some food first for the road?"

"Sure, that sounds great," he admitted.

* * *

><p>The ride back to Mineral Town took just as long, but it seemed less lengthy with Elli's company now that the Palmer's weren't around to make things awkward.<p>

"That was a good sandwich," Elli commented after she finished her lunch.

"It was okay," Jack said as he took a sip from his flask. "I prefer the food at Doug's place though. But I will admit that Griffin makes a good drink."

"What are you drinking?" Elli asked. "It smells funny."  
>"This?" Jack asked as he pointed at his flask. "Blue punch. Only Griffin knows how to make them. It's pretty good."<p>

"Uh, Jack, don't you think it's too early to be drinking?" Elli questioned in concern.

"Okay mom," Jack joked, "normally I'd agree with you, but this stuff isn't that strong and I'm not trying to get drunk." He took another sip. "I don't do that anymore."

"Okay, fair enough," Elli admitted. "What's it taste like?"

"Why don't you take a sip and find out?" Jack offered as he handed her the flask.

"Oh no, I don't drink," Elli said as she pushed the flask back towards him.

"Hey, I won't tell if you won't," Jack said as he offered the drink to her again. "I can't really describe the taste, so if you really want to know what it's like, just take a sip. Trust me, you won't start puking everywhere." He looked Elli in the eyes as he dared her to try the drink. Suddenly in an unexpected moment, he almost got lost in her eyes. Her dark brown eyes that fit perfectly with her hair and her light, smooth, skin.

"Ah, what the hell," she shrugged as she took the flask from a semi-stunned Jack. He had never heard her swear before, and her simply saying the H word had stopped his thoughts in their tracks. Elli tipped the flask back and let some of the alcohol slip down her throat. She pulled the flask down and closed her eyes and crinkled her nose at the taste of it while giving a toothy grin. It was adorable.

"It tastes so weird," she giggled as she handed the flask back to him. "It's not bad or anything. Just weird."

"You're just not used to it. The more you drink, the more normal it becomes." He took another sip. "I love the stuff that Griffin makes. One of his drinks, the moon trip," he continued, lost in memory, "that stuff knocked me out the first time I had it, but it's the greatest drink I've ever tasted. I'd totally move to the valley just for better access of that stuff. Makes the whole place a lot prettier in my opinion."

"Yeah, I love it there," Elli sighed. "When I was a kid and my mother was still alive, she would take me there on her days off. I always thought the valley was so beautiful," she stated in midst of the memories. "I just don't have much reason to go there now since the only people I know there are the doctors."

"I feel the same way," Jack agreed. "I only know Gabe. "I just never visit as much anymore because with all the work I have now, it's much more efficient to drink in Mineral Town."

"Gabe…" Elli's voice trailed off, "he owns that ranch you stopped at, right? How do you know him?"

"Through drinking," Jack chuckled. "When I was new in town all those years ago, Karen invited me to go drinking with her in the valley, and I met him there. He'd been running the ranch there for about a year already, and throughout my first year, I kept going back to him for advice. He's extremely genuine and down to earth. Probably the nicest guy I ever met." Jack let out a long sigh. "He's much better at this than I am."

"Better at what?" Elli asked.

"Farming in general," Jack answered. "Gabe told me that it was his father's dream to run a farm, but when he died, he dropped everything in his old life to complete his father's dream. And he's made so much of it."

"Well, isn't that what you did too?" Elli asked.

Jack shook his head. "Not quite. I wasn't going to stay in Mineral Town much longer than two years after I got Redd's farm running again. I'm just saying, him going to do what his father started… I just find that just insane."

"Really? I thought that was normal," Elli stated. "I mean, my mother was a nurse, as was her mother before her. Tim's father was a doctor before he-"

"Maybe it's just an American thing then," Jack interrupted. "It's not as common there to take up your mother's or father's job. I mean, there was no way I was going to be an accountant like my dad." He paused as he gathered his thoughts. "It's just… I guess I'm a little envious of Gabe that he's happy where he is. I mean, he was ready to make this his life's work. He got married the first year he was there and now has his own family and he doesn't seem to mind staying here when he knows he can't go back to the states after the strikes happened."

Silence graced the moment. Only the sounds of Boulder's hooves and the rolling carts persisted.

"Jack," Elli broke the quiet. "Are you… happy in Mineral Town?"

Jack looked back at her face. She still had the glow of her youth about her. He knew she wouldn't be able to understand what he had lost since she had never left the island.

"I just never expected I'd be a farmer for the rest of my life," he muttered.

"Well, regardless," Elli sympathized, "you're doing a great job. Who knows what would have happened to Mineral Town if you hadn't taken over Mr. Redd's farm."

"Yeah, thanks," he said quietly. He became aware of the perfume she was wearing. It smelled like flowers.

"You smell like flowers," he said stupidly in an attempt to get off the awkward topic of his career, though saying _that_ only sounded more awkward.

Elli laughed. "You like it? I made it from the orchids you picked me. It's my favorite now."  
>"Wait," Jack asked. "That's what you do with the flowers?"<p>

"Well sure," Elli continued. "Why else would I pay you to pick me specific flowers?"

"Well," Jack contemplated, "I don't know. I had no idea. I'm a little bit mad at myself now since I've been picking them for you for awhile now and I had no clue why."

"Well, most of the men don't know, because my target buyers are women," Elli stated. "You see, I know how to make perfume, and since we don't get imports anymore, all the women pay me for it. It's a good way to make a bit of extra money."  
>"Okay, that makes sense then," Jack admitted. Elli wasn't alone. Many of the women in town made clothes and soap products to make up for the lack of shipments from the outside world.<p>

"You know Jack," Elli said before pausing to think of the right words. "I really enjoy talking to you. You never seem afraid to say anything."

"What, people are afraid to talk with you?" Jack asked jokingly.

"No," Elli giggled. "But people always seem afraid to talk to me like I'm a normal person. Like I'd dislike them if they said anything vulgar or dirty. You don't seem to care though, and… I really like that."

"So what you're saying is…" Jack asked in a suave tone. "You like it when I talk to you dirty?"

"Just shut up and take the compliment," Elli laughed. She looked really cute when she smiled.

"Somebody's getting feisty," Jack joined in. Suddenly, another wave of sleepiness hit him like a truck. "Look, I really need a nap. Can you hold the reigns? I'm going to lay down in the cart."

"Okay, but what do I do?" Elli asked.

"It's a straight path," Jack explained. "Just hold the reigns and pull back to make him stop if you need to. But don't try yelling at him or anything because he's deaf." Elli took the reigns from his hands and he moved to the cart to lie down. "Just wake me when we get there."

"Sure thing, Jack," she replied happily.

He rested his head on his hands and slowly drifted off to sleep in a new mixture of feelings.

* * *

><p>"Just some bread and butter tonight," Jack told Ann. It was late evening now, but the main drinking hours had yet to begin, hence why the bar wasn't crowded yet.<p>

"Okay, coming right up," she said as she went back to the kitchen. Jack turned to Karen who was sipping her drink. She wasn't drunk yet.

"So, where's Cliff?" he asked.

"He's working the wall tonight," Karen answered.

"Lola?"  
>"She went back to South Flowers this morning."<p>

"Rick?"  
>"Being lame again," Karen groaned. "I don't get him. He's so boring now."<p>

"Like he wasn't boring to begin with?" Jack thought to himself. He had nothing against Rick, but he did feel envious.

"Here you are," Ann said as she placed a large piece of bread with some butter spread on it in front of him. "That all for you?"

"Tonight, yeah. Thanks Ann," he said as he paid Ann for the bread before taking a bite.

"Jack, I thought you'd need something strong after today," Karen commented as she handed her glass back to Ann for a refill. "You've been complaining all week about how you had to take Andrew over to the valley."

"I already had a drink today in the valley, and I don't feel like overdoing it tonight," he answered.

"So it was that bad that you had to drink up on the way back?" Ann asked.

"No, I just felt like a drink," he replied. "The trip actually wasn't so bad. Sure, Andrew isn't that pleasant to travel with, but Elli made things bearable."

"Wait, Elli was traveling with you?" Karen asked in a confused tone.

"Yeah, she was making a delivery to the doctors there, so I gave her a ride. We talked for two hours or so combined. I never realized how easy it is to talk with her."

"Awww," both girls said at once.

"Shut up, I didn't mean like that," Jack continued. "Just that she's fun to talk with."

"Jack, forget about Lola and ask Elli out instead. She's really cute," Karen stated without wasting any time.

"Karen, it's impossible to forget about somebody you don't think about anyway," Jack replied in regards to Lola, though it was partially a lie.

"I think you should too," Ann joined in. "Elli is probably the sweetest girl in existence."

"I don't think so," Jack groaned. He didn't feel like talking about this with the girls. "Besides, she's too young for me."  
>"Jack, she's twenty," Ann argued.<p>

"And I'm twenty-six," he reminded her. "Six years is a pretty big gap in my opinion."

"Jack, you're being stupid," Karen stated. "She's pretty mature for her age."

"Even so, she was, what, fifteen when I came here? I kinda have her set in my mind at being that age." He suddenly stared into the distance in disbelief. "Holy shit, I feel old now."

"Jack, we were eighteen when you came here, and you talk with us," Ann continued to argue.

"Yeah, but back where I come from, that's considered legal," Jack stated. "Look, I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Fine, fine," Ann Groaned as she left to take care of other customers. After she left, Karen put down her drink and turned towards Jack.

"Age shouldn't be such an issue for you. Elli likes maturity. She used to have a crush on Doctor Tim and he's even older than you are."

"Why are you assuming I like her? So we have some good conversation. That means nothing," Jack replied in a loud whisper. He didn't want other people to be listening.

"Maybe so, but you brought up her name, so I'm just going to assume." Karen continued, "besides, you're the intellectual type, which is why Elli would be such a good match for you. Plus, I don't think she's ever had a boyfriend, and you would be a good guy for her."

"This feels so weird," Jack said, as he had barely processed anything Karen had told him. "I don't like talking about this."

"You are so stiff," Karen laughed. "You've been here for over four years and I've never seen you try anything with any woman."

"Yeah, because I was still with Kassie at the-"

"Even Lola," Karen cut him off. "I mean, you probably could sleep with her if you really wanted, but you don't because you don't like who she is as a person. I mean, have you ever liked anybody here?"

"Yes," he said defensively.

"Oh really? Who?"

"You," he thought to himself. But he knew he couldn't tell her that. He just stared back at her gaping like an idiot. "Karen, I really don't want to discuss this right now."

"Okay Jack," she replied quietly. "I just think this would be good for you because you're such a workaholic now."

"Yeah, sure," he sighed.

"Just think about it, okay?" she suggested. In his mind, he struggled with this concept. Elli had stuck out to him, but he felt like he was just getting to know her. On top of that, he wasn't sure if Elli, or anybody else for that matter, would like what they found of they truly got to know him…

* * *

><p><strong> Yeah, longer chapter, and I had to put some filler in, which disgusts me. Right now, my main problem with this story is going to be filling it with plot between now and the climax. I have some ideas, but I hope they don't get boring.<strong>

** So review and stuff. I'll update sometime next week, maybe.**


	6. Chapter Four: Confliction

**I'm going to start this chapter off with a Jack journal entry. I'm going to alter between these and quotes when I see it fit to do so. Here is Chapter 4. Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Journal Entry: October 11th 2010<p>

_I dreamt of Karen again. It's been some time since I've had a Karen dream, but this one was extremely graphic compared to what I usually have. We're lounging on a blanket on the beach (pre-strike) while we're watching the moon rise while sharing a bottle of wine. The sky is dark and covered with stars, but I can see everything so clearly. I look into Karen's beautiful green eyes and see her giving me a sexy smile. She whispers something to me, but I can't hear her over the sound of the waves. But suddenly, we're kissing and taking off each other's clothing. _

_ I feel uncomfortable describing the rest scene, even in this journal, since I feel awful about it (in short, we had sex.) It's so wrong that I dream this about her, since she's my best friend here and she understands me better than anybody else on this island. And yet the moment felt so right when I dreamt it._

_ After we're done having sex, she's breathing heavily, and she looks deep into my eyes and says, "I love you Jack." But it isn't her voice saying this. It's Kassie's. Then behind us, Mineral Town is engulfed in a huge nuclear explosion and we turn to watch. This is when I woke up._

_ It was probably the most intense dream I've ever had in my entire life. I mean, I've had sex dreams before, but this actually felt like the real thing, even when I woke up and realized that it was all in my head. As I regained my composure, I heard the voice again. "She will never love you. You will always be alone. Save yourself the bitterness. The answer is simple."_

_ I don't know what's crazier. The fact that I'm hearing this voice in the first place or the fact that it's starting to make sense…_

**Chapter Four: Confliction**

_Date: July 14__th__ 2011, Thursday, 7:30 PM_

"You brought me more orchids?" Elli gasped as she inhaled the bouquet's aroma.

"Yup, just for you," Jack said as he casually leaned on the desk. Even though it was late, the doctors and nurses were still busy.

"Aww, thank you," she said as she smelled the flowers again. "Look, I have enough money for the last two batches you gave me, but not enough for-"

"Well I'll just have to take these ones back then," Jack mocked as he snatched the orchids from Elli.

"Jack, you would do that to me?" Elli asked cutely.

"Of course not. You're too sweet, and I'm too soft." He handed her the flowers back as she gave him the money she had.

"I'll pay you when I can," she stated.

"I know you will," Jack chuckled. Suddenly, he remembered Karen's and Ann's words. They had been hounding him all week about asking Elli out and he had been making various excuses not to. However, this would be the perfect time to finally say something. "So, Elli, I wanted to ask-"  
>"Elli!" yelled Holly, one of the newer doctors on the island. "We need you back here with a patient!"<p>

"I gotta go Jack, I'll talk to you later," she said with a weak smile as she disappeared into the back hallway.

Jack let out a sigh in both sadness and relief. He still had mixed feelings over the whole thing. Shrugging his shoulders, he walked out of the clinic and headed on over to the church. The air was filled with a warm twilight as the sun made its descent over the island's western mountains.

"Oh, it's good to see you again, Jack," Carter greeted Jack as entered the church.

"It's good to see you too, Pastor Carter," Jack smiled as he approached the front rows of the church. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to attend any of your sermons lately. Work on the farm can be a real bi- err… hardship," Jack caught himself. He didn't want to curse in God's house.

"I understand," Carter replied. "Life as a farmer in times like these sounds quite stressful. Just come by whenever you can. I'm actually giving a short sermon tonight in thirty minutes if you're willing to stick around."

"Okay, I may just do that," Jack smiled.

"That's wonderful," Carter replied jovially. "I'm going to visit with some of the parishioners. I'm glad you were able to come in tonight, Jack."  
>"So am I," Jack responded. After Carter left, Jack took a look around the church. There were about a dozen people sitting in various pews, talking with one another, but none of whom Jack knew all that well. He let out a sigh. The blessing that kept the island safe had made a believer out of him and drove him to come to church, but he still felt an emptiness inside. Carter told him that he needed to give all of his trust to God, who had blessed the island with an angel that protected them, but Jack had a difficult time doing that. Putting faith in a being that he couldn't see or feel went against all of his instincts.<p>

"How's it going choir boy?" chimed Karen's voice. Jack turned his head to see her walk up and sit next to him. She looked tired, but still happy. Her hunting rifle was slung over her shoulders.

"I'm okay," he answered. "You working the wall tonight or something?"

"I was lucky. I got a day shift," she replied. Women weren't required to volunteer on wall duty, but Karen was one of the few who did, given that her grandfather had taught her how to shoot when she was young. She had pretty good aim. "It's too bad though. The ocean has been so peaceful lately. I haven't gotten to kill anybody in five months."

"Wow, that sounds borderline psychotic of you," Jack chuckled. It was true though that there hadn't been any attacks in months. The lawless outcasts had been slimming in number over the past few years.

"Still, I'm going to start getting rusty, and I hate to waste bullets on fake targets," Karen sighed.

"It's better this way though. The gangs are dying out. Maybe after that, we can find another town nearby and start trading," Jack stated softly. "You staying for the service tonight? It starts in a half hour."

"Oh no, I just came by to see if Carter was running confessionals tonight, but I guess he isn't so I'll probably leave soon," she answered.

"Whatever, sinner," Jack joked. "Confession huh? Have you been a bad girl, Karen?"

"Oh, I've been really bad," she replied in an almost whisper as a smile crossed her face. "I've been a naughty, naughty, girl Jack." She was now leaning towards him, wearing the sluttiest possible face she could muster. "I think you need to punish me."  
>"I'm telling Rick," Jack whispered back, destroying the moment.<p>

"Oh, you're such a killjoy," Karen squealed as she punched his arm.

"Well, one of us has to be," Jack laughed. "We're in a church!" Even though Karen was just playing around with him, he had to laugh it off to remind himself of the truth. "So how's work?"

"Are our lives so boring that our conversations always have to fall back on our careers?" she complained with some laughs mixed in with the sentence. "Fine, I'll play your game. It's boring. We get produce and supplies, we count produce and supplies, we sell produce and supplies. It's the same old deal. How's your work?"

"It's going well."

"How are Kai and Popuri?"

"They're intolerable. Like always."

"How's Elli?"

"She's-" Jack stopped himself short. He hadn't expected her to ask him so directly about Elli, and he didn't have anything prepared to say. "Really Karen? Really?"

"Really Jack," she stated flatly.

"Okay then, I was considering it earlier today when I visited the clinic, but I don't think this is going to-"

"Excuses, excuses," Karen cut him off. "You're too old for her, you're too experienced for her, you're too much of an asshole for her. I've heard every excuse you've brought to the table, and they're all total crap."

"Karen, you're throwing all this stuff at me as if I actually like her as more than a friend. Don't you think you're just jumping to conclusions?"

"Oh come on Jack. You've been picking flowers for the girl every week for over a year. Don't give me any shit about me jumping to conclusions," she shot back.

"Because she pays me so she can make perfume and soap and what not," Jack answered defensively.  
>"Whatever Jack," Karen continued. "Maybe you should just give her a chance. You're a good guy, and I can tell by the way you've mentioned her before that you would like to go out with her. And I've known Elli for years. You've got that feeling of experience and maturity about you. What reasons left could you possibly have to at least not give it a shot?"<p>

"Residual feelings," Jack muttered on accident. "Oh crap," he thought to himself. He didn't mean to say that.

"Residual feelings? About what?" she questioned.

"Look, I don't want to discuss thi-"

"It's another girl, isn't it?"

Jack stared back at her in stupid silence. She could read him like a book.

"Is it Kassie?" she asked in a whisper.

"No," he muttered back to her.

"Then who is it?"  
>Jack couldn't answer her. She was trying to uncover the truth, but he knew she could never find out. "Look, I don't want to go after her if I still have these leftover feelings for somebody else."<p>

"Well," Karen continued, "whoever it is… just go for it with Elli. Even if you just go out with her and you want to be just friends, at least you'll know afterwards."

"I'll consider it," Jack sighed, and he turned away.

"Jack," Karen started again. "I know you… I know that you're a very private person about your problems, but it's really obvious to me that you're going through some rough shit. I just don't know what." She scooted closer to him and took his hand in hers. Jack noticed that her eyes were filled with concern. "Just remember that you can tell me anything in the world, and I'll try my best to understand."

"Sure thing," he whispered as he stared at her beautiful face. He just wasn't sure if her best would be enough.

* * *

><p>The alarm clock woke Jack up at 9. It was Friday night, but instead of going to see Dr. Travis or going to the bar with his friends, Jack was scheduled to work the wall until 4 AM. Like always, he staggered out of bed, pulled on a dirty pair of jeans, and took his weapons from his gun cabinet, ready to kill any crazy that wanted to storm the town.<p>

As he pat himself down to make sure he had everything, he felt the revolver in its holster. He slowly drew the old gun and looked it over. It was old man Redd's gun before he had died. The old man had never used the firearm on anybody in his lifetime since Mineral Town used to be such a safe place. Jack rarely used it either since he mostly used his other weaponry for hunting and defending the town, but he carried the silver revolver everywhere he went. Not only did the extra bullets make him feel safe, but he also felt that the old man's spirit watched over him whenever he had the gun with him. As he turned the weapon over in his hands, he stroked his fingers across the trigger.

_"It's tempting, isn't it?"_

"Go away," Jack said as he heard the voice return. He didn't have time for this.

_"You know how easy it would be to just pull that trigger? You can end your pain and your loneliness instantly. Faster and more efficiently than what dear old Travis can do."_

"I said go away," Jack repeated. "You don't know what I want."

_"I don't know what you want? I AM you, Jack. And since you are me as well, I know what I want for the both of us."_

"I don't want to kill myself. I just want to feel happy."

_"And we both know that will never happen. Nobody can save you from your pain or your loneliness because all good things come to an end. You lost your family, you lost your friends, you lost Kassie, and you lost your future. Do you honestly expect that anything you gain won't be lost as well?"_

"I still have friends and family," Jack whispered. The voice was beginning to get to him.

_"Oh please. You know you can't trust them. None of them can understand. Even Karen. She has lost so little from the nukes. She can never understand your pain or your feelings for her. She would desert you, just like everybody else will if you continue like this. Nobody can truly care about you. Nobody needs you."_

"Yes they do!" Jack shot back in frustration. "If it weren't for me, this farm would be a wasteland."

_"They may need you now, but what if they don't need you someday? If it helped them, they would all betray you without care or concern. You're just a simple pawn."_

"No they wouldn't," Jack whispered.

_"Yes. Yes they would. And do you know how we know? Because you know you can't trust any of them. That's why you carry this burden. Because once you let them know the pain you have, they will conspire to betray you. They will strip you of what little you have left and leave you a broken, naked, man. No matter what you do, whether you tell the world or bottle it up, you will suffer."_

Jack didn't respond at first. The voice made so much sense to him sometimes. What if he wasn't crazy, but the voice was that of truth?

"And what would you have me do?" Jack asked.

_"You already know the answer… All I ask is that you trust in me. We can be free from this pain Jack. Let us truly become one being, and I can save us both."_

Jack slowly looked at the gun again. He slowly raised the gun to his temple.

_"That's right Jack. It will all be over soon."_

He felt the trigger again. It felt so smooth. So fit. As if it were specially made for his fingers. But as he contemplated finally pulling the trigger, he started seeing the faces of the people he cared about. One by one, he saw the faces of Ann, Cliff, Gotz, Carter, Gabe, Flint, Travis, Karen, and even Kai flash in his vision.

_"They won't miss you," _the voice persisted. _"Do it now!"  
><em>"Yes," Jack replied in a zombie like voice. But as he went to do it again, he saw another face. It was Elli's. Her beautiful brown eyes and brunette hair with her sweet smiling face seemed to glow in his mind. "NO! I won't do it!" Jack shouted as he pulled the revolver away from his head. Suddenly the door to his room opened.

"Jack, what the hell is wrong?" Kai asked in a concerned voice. "You're really wigging me and Popuri out. What are you talking to yourself for?"

Jack regained his composure, and looked back at Kai as he slowly put the revolver in the holster. "Nothing, I'm fine. I gotta go." He walked past a confused Kai and a bewildered Popuri as he exited the house. He began his walk off the farm and down the road to the wall at the beach. Something was confusing him. Why was it Elli's face that stopped him from pulling the trigger when everybody else's faces had failed?

"Whatever the case, I won't do it," Jack murmured to himself as he walked. "I'll find a way to be happy."

_"So be it. But at the end of the day, you will come to your senses. It will be your own bullet that saves you."_

* * *

><p>The beach wall always had guards on patrol. Zack and eighteen castaways guarded it on time slots on all hours of the day while able shooters such as himself were recruited to lessen the load. When Jack arrived, Zack, four regulars, and two other volunteers were on guard.<p>

"Good to see you Jack," Zack grunted. Despite the fact that he was on the wrong side of forty, Zack looked like a character out of a Schwarzenegger movie with bulging muscles and ammo draped over his shoulders. He was carrying an assault rifle that he had taken off of a raider two years ago.

"Good to be back," Jack muttered as he sat on top of the stone wall. There was a thinner wall built on top with window holes that the guards could shoot from. The beach no longer looked inviting, as it was covered with barbed wire and pits just in case raiders ever reached land. The buildings were stripped down since they were no longer safe and the dock had over thirty boats tied to it. Most of these boats were the ones that raiders used in their approach.

"Any trouble lately?" Jack asked.

"Nothing. There's been no castaways or raiders in three months," Zack sighed. "But that's okay. Less stress on us. No casualties in almost one and a half years," he grinned. "I'm just glad we got this wall up as fast as we did, or that raid we had back in Christmas '09 would have been the end of us." Jack remembered that day all too well. Roughly thirty raiders had attacked the beach, and the fire fight lasted for two hours. It was also the day Jack had taken a bullet to the shoulder. But Christmas ended up okay, because Zack had given him a sniper rifle that one of the raiders had as a reward for taking out eleven attackers. It was now his weapon of choice for guarding the wall.

"Yeah, well, I just hope nobody ever comes. They should just learn that we end shit before it even begins," Jack replied. He was cradling the sniper rifle in his arms as he looked out into the dead ocean and began to get drowsy. The hours passed slowly…

_"Jack, why are you out here?" Karen giggled. "It's cold as hell!"  
>"I always thought Hell was supposed to be hot," Jack laughed as he inhaled on his cigarette. He was leaning against the Blue Bar in Forget-Me-Not Valley as the snow fell around him. "Griffin won't let me smoke inside, so…"<br>"With good reason. Those things will kill you, you know," Karen stated._

_ "You sound like my mother," Jack said. "I'll tell you the same thing I told her and Kassie: I'll worry about it when I'm dead of lung cancer."_

_ "You're awful," Karen sighed. "Does Kassie hate that you smoke?"_

_ "Yes, but I tell her I'll stop smoking when she stops getting drunk whenever we visit my parents."_

_"Does she not like your folks?" Karen asked. _

_ "The feeling is mutual," Jack explained. "They think she's too wild, and she thinks they're too stern." He finished the cigarette, and crushed it beneath his shoe in the fallen snow. "I'll smoke another if you join me," he suggested._

_ "No, I'll pass."  
>"Fair enough," he sighed.<em>

_ "Jack, if you think she's too crazy, and she hates that you smoke, why are you dating her?" Karen questioned._

_ "Well, we can accept each other despite our flaws. Honesty is a powerful thing. It's like how you like Rick despite the fact he's a geek."  
>"Jack," Karen laughed, "That's mean!"<em>

_ "Another one of my qualities that Kassie just loves," he joked. "Sometimes it's the flaws that cause people to love one another."_

"Jack, wake up!" Zack whispered harshly. Jack rubbed his eyes and looked around in a daze.

"What… did I fall asleep?"  
>"You nodded off an hour ago, but we just let you, since… well, we didn't think it mattered. It's almost four."<p>

"Really? Okay, I'll be leaving then cause my shift ends-"  
>"I'd rather you stick around," Zack cut him off gravely.<p>

"Why?"

"Because we got company."

Jack sat up and looked out over the hole in the wall. Three small boats were slowly approaching with the small hum of motors. Each boat had four or so people inside, and all of them ducking below the rims. In the dim light, their clothes looked raggedy.

"Do you think they're raiders?" Jack asked Zack as he and the other guards were crouching to stay out of fire.

"Could be. Only one way to find out," Zack replied as he picked up the megaphone sitting by his knee. "Attention interlopers!" Zack shouted through the device. "You are trespassing in our territory! If you put your hands up, we will escort you to land for interrogation! Or you can turn your boats around and leave! If you make any sudden movements or draw any firearms, WE WILL SHOOT YOU! The choice is yours!"

There was an eerie silence. Jack had a figure in the scope of his sniper rifle that he was ready to shoot upon movement. He wouldn't miss this.

"NOW!" a voice from the boats shouted. All at once, the people in the boats drew various guns and opened fire on the wall. The only one who didn't get to pull the trigger was the woman Jack was scoping, because he had fired his shot as she was standing up.

"Bitch," he muttered under his breath as he took aim at another target's head. Because of the movement, he had only hit the raider in the shoulder, and that wasn't enough to kill.

"Ring the damn bell already!" Zack shouted as he unloaded on the raiders. One of the guards hopped off the wall and rung the giant bell placed next to the ramp. This gongs alerted the other guards to be ready if the attack got worse.

"That's three," Jack hummed to himself as he dropped another attacker. This raid was too easy to take down. Only three men were left and only a minute or so had passed. He took aim at another target's head and was ready to pull the trigger.

"Son of a bitch!" Jack hissed as he grabbed his left arm. A bullet had hit him. After letting out a stream of curse words, he sat back up in pain and took a wild scopeless shot at the last raider standing. It didn't hit his head, but it nailed him in the arm, causing him to drop his gun, and making him easy pickings for the rest of the guards. After the sounds of gun fire died down, an eerie silence resumed with only the crashing of waves and the panting of guards emerging.

"Good job men," Zack grunted. "Is anybody hurt?"  
>"I am," Jack gasped as he raised his good arm.<p>

"Let me see that," Zack said as he examined Jack's arm that the bullet hit. "You are one lucky devil, Jack. It just grazed you. If only the ones who died were as lucky." He stood up and looked around. "Somebody get him to the clinic. The rest of you, get to work on bringing those boats in."

* * *

><p>"You're going to be fine Jack," Doctor Tim told him after putting the stitches in his arm. "Just don't overexert that arm for awhile and it'll be okay. No heavy duty farm work or anything like that. Come in a week so we can see if it's infected or not."<p>

"Okay, thanks Doc," Jack replied with a weak smile. Even though he only had a few stitches on his upper arm, the whole thing was throbbing.

"Elli, can you finish up in here?" the doctor asked.

"Yes Tim," she answered politely. He left the room and Elli sat down next to Jack so she could clean up the area around the wound with a damp wash cloth.

"Again, I'm sorry I had to wake you guys up over this," Jack apologized as Elli scrubbed. "It wasn't even that bad of an injury."

"Jack, stop trying to play superman." Elli stopped scrubbing and pulled out an ace bandage. She then began to wrap it around the injured arm. "Any bullet wound is worth us checking. Besides, you got it defending the town. This is, what, the third one?"

"Yup, but hey, at least you guys didn't have to take my appendix out this time," Jack said in a forced chuckle.

"Yeah, that's always nice. Okay, I'm done here. Come back next Saturday so we can see if it's still okay."

"Okay, thanks Elli," Jack said as he got up and walked out of the room. It was almost 5 in the morning now, and Jack had to get back and squeeze in a few winks before work, but in all the morning's chaos, his mind drifted back to Elli's face. Why did she appear to him before he pulled the trigger? Maybe Karen was right. Maybe she did mean more to him than he would admit.

"Ah, what the hell?" Jack shrugged. He walked back into the room where Elli was patching him up to find her cleaning up the mess. "Hey Elli."  
>"Yes Jack?" she asked, not really looking at him so she could focus on cleaning.<p>

"I was wondering, when is your next day off?"  
>"Wednesday," she answered. She stopped cleaning for a moment and gave him a curious expression. "Why?"<br>"Do you want me to show you where those orchids grow? It's a bit of a hike, but the lookout is fantastic. We can do lunch too or something if you want."

"Aw, Jack, that sounds like fun," she answered sweetly. "I'll be there. Just remind me later this week so I don't get called up or anything."

"Great, I'll let you know then. I'll see you around Elli."

"Bye Jack!"

"I really hope I don't regret this," Jack thought to himself as he exited the clinic. "But then again, what do I have to lose?" He suddenly realized that Kai was right. You have to live for the moment in these times because life could end any moment by one bullet… or another.

* * *

><p><strong>I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Well, mostly the journal entry and the schizoid scene (though I couldn't be to graphic with the sex dream if I wanted to keep this teen.), so tell me if those were cool. The last part was kinda weird to write, but I hope I made it work.<strong>

** Anyway, send me some reviews. Much appreciated!**


	7. Chapter Five: Purity's Touch

_The raid was pretty awesome, I got to ask this though is Zack an OC?_

** Thanks. And no. Zack was the shipping guy in Mineral Town in the game, but now with the lack of shipments to the mainland and other islands, he took on the role of the lead guard. I figured he'd be good for that role since he's got that Schwarzenegger look.**

_ As for the journal scene it's understandable why you didn't get to detailed._

** I did actually, for the sake of realism (Jack is the kind of guy who wouldn't hold back in his journal.) Thing is, I didn't want to test the waters with an extremely graphic scene and possibly get my stuff deleted. I just don't want to up the rating just for a few graphic sex scenes, and I'm already going to be pushing the limit later on with various content. By the way, how graphic are we allowed to get? I just need to know my limits on this. **

_This version of Jack definitely makes me want to keep finding out more about him._

_You do some pretty sharp character writing._

** Thanks. I'm really glad he's coming across as a unique character rather than a generic emo kid, because I really didn't want that in this writing. **

** Also, are we allowed to make individual chapters rated M? That would actually be very cool if I can do that.**

* * *

><p>Journal Entry: October 26th 2010<p>

_I'm not going to lie: I'm horny. Really, really, horny. I just realized that the last time I had sex was when I was back in New York with Kassie. That was early 2007? It's been so long! I mean, I aside from the Karen dreams, I really haven't thought about sex all that much. In fact, with housemates like Kai and Popuri, I try not to. With all the work I have to do, it rarely have time to even sit down and yank it, let alone do it with an actual woman._

_ It's so strange. I wouldn't describe myself as a sex addict or anything, but I really want to get some, and the porn on my laptop isn't doing it. But really, who is there? I know there are so many women on this island now since this place is crawling with castaways, but none of them really stand out to me and I don't have time or willpower to court them. There is Lola, but that's not a road I want to go down. The chick is as sexy as hell, but I know anything between us would just be a one night stand at best, and I would rather get something more consistent. Julie has been trying to flirt with me, but I'm ignoring it. She's a pretty girl, but she's only fourteen. I don't know what the age of consent is here, but I know it's higher than that. And besides, I'm no pedo._

_ Needless to say, the Karen dreams really are not helping. Granted, I don't have them nearly as much as I used too, but I feel like I'm falling for her even more every time I wake up from one of those dreams. I could never say anything to her about them though. Rick may be a geek, but he's a good guy, and she loves him… for reasons I don't understand, and because of that, I'm not going to make things weird by spilling my emotions. Still, I wonder how she is in bed? Probably kinky. Of course, I'm not going to be asking her or Rick or anything._

_ I really miss sleeping with Kassie. I mean, that's not the only thing I miss about her of course, but the sex was great. She was a real freak in the sack. But I need to accept the fact that I'll never see her again and at this rate, I'll probably be dry for a long time._

**Chapter Five: Purity's Touch**

_Date: July 20__th__ 2011, Wednesday, 12:00 PM_

The work week had been pretty easy for Jack thus far. With the doctor's orders not to do any strenuous work after getting shot, he was only doing easy work.

"Here piggy, piggy, piggy," he chanted as he helped the workers dump the last few buckets of slop into the pigs' feeding box. All of the hogs pushed and shoved each other to get to the slop. Jack didn't know much about raising pigs, so he left most of the swine management to Flint, but he would occasionally check up on the porkers on days like this when he couldn't plow the field.

"See you next Easter," he shouted as he left the pig enclosure. He felt bad that he couldn't pull his own weight today, but at least the workers wouldn't be suffering. For a summer day in July, it was pretty cool outside and it was a perfect day to hangout with Elli.

Once getting back to his house, Jack took a quick shower and put on the cleanest pair of jeans, white t-shirt, and button down over-shirt he could find. He didn't have a lot of good casual wear anymore, but a lot of people didn't now, since the clothes that were made on the island were made for necessity and not for looks.

He exited his room and walked over to the big mirror in the living room to give himself a look over. All things considered, he didn't look bad, except his hair was still a mess. He started to comb it when he noticed the grays mixed in with the brown.

"Damn it," he muttered to himself as he began to pick out individual hairs and yank them out of his scalp. The process was futile, but he did what he could to make himself look his age.

"Hey Jack, are those sandwiches in the fridge for us?" Popuri asked in her eternal whine.

"No, they're for me and… you know," he answered annoyed as he kept trying to grab individual hairs.

"What are you doing?" the pink haired girl asked. Jack rolled his eyes.

"I'm picking the gray hairs out so I look my age," he explained.

"You're worrying too much Jack. I highly doubt Elli is going out with you because of your looks." Jack shot her a dirty look in the mirror's reflection.

"Yeah, I'm gonna give you a freebie and pretend you didn't just say that," Jack muttered as he continued to pick at his scalp.

"Oh come on Jack, it's Elli for goddess's sake. She's the epitome of Sunday school girl. She probably only likes people for what they have on the inside or whatever. Then again, it's not like you have a lot going on their either."  
>"Okay, don't you have some work to do? Or do you really have time to stand there and insult me all day?" Jack asked in frustration. Popuri was already getting on his last nerve.<p>

"So what are you two even doing?" she asked as she ignored his questions.

"She's meeting me here and we're going down to the Deer Lookout for lunch," he answered.

"She's meeting you here?" Popuri asked skeptically. "You're not picking her up at her house?"

"Is that really a problem?" Jack questioned in annoyance. By this point, he had given up looking for grays. "The Deer Lookout is closer to my house so it saves us some time."

"Whatever Jack. I'm just saying I would never like a guy who didn't pick me up," Popuri stated before she walked out the door.

"That's probably why I never liked you either," he muttered.

_"You should kill her."_

"You know, that's the first reasonable thing you've ever said to me," Jack sighed at the voice's words. He just hoped that it wouldn't bother him while he was out.

Several minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Taking in a deep breath, Jack left the mirror and walked over a few steps to open it. He was left breathless with who he saw standing there. Elli was wearing a beautiful white sundress with red flower designs on it. His eyes then drifted to her face. He could tell she was wearing some light makeup. Altogether, she looked stunning to him.

"Hey Jack," she greeted with sweet voice to match her lovely smile.

"He… hey," he stuttered nervously. "You look great." That was an understatement.

"Aw, thanks. You ready to go?" she asked.

"Sure, I'm just going to go get the food out of the fridge," he replied. As he walked over to the fridge and began loading up the food, the image of Elli in that dress kept flashing through his mind. Maybe it was shallow of him to think so, but just seeing her like this had jump started various emotions in his mind.

* * *

><p>"I haven't been in these woods since I was a kid," Elli breathed as the two walked on the old forest trail. The walk had been about twenty minutes so far, but Elli didn't seem to mind since she was bathing in nostalgia. "Do you come here a lot?"<br>"Every so often," Jack answered. "Me, Gotz, and sometimes Cliff will come down here to hunt deer. Gotz says we should come more often to thin out the population since the wolves haven't done very well down here."

"Are there really wolves on this island?" Elli asked skeptically. "I've never seen one."

"I haven't in awhile," Jack replied. "They mostly live on the northern part of the island though, so the deer population down here is getting pretty thick. I suggested at a town meeting once that we try to introduce wolves down here, but I was shot down pretty quickly."

"Oh, that's too bad," Elli said, giving condolence. "But then again, I can see why they wouldn't want to do that."

"Yeah, it is kind of dangerous. Still, I was thinking about this islands future, because it could get pretty bad if the deer overpopulate down here… And here we are!" The two finally arrived at the top of the small hill with the nook below. Elli was in awe.

"Wow, it's so pretty," she gasped. "I never knew this was here!"

"Yup, it's a pretty nice view," Jack agreed. "It's also where the orchids grow."  
>"Oh, well where are they?" Elli asked. She was getting excited.<p>

"They're down there near that giant rock," Jack replied, pointing at the oversized boulder below. "You can go pick some if you want."  
>"Yes, I think I will," she said happily as she left his side to make her way down the hill. Jack put the picnic basket and blanket down next to the tree on the hill and followed her. Seeing the breeze push against her dress and hair as she walked made her look heavenly. Jack felt as though his stomach had just done a flip. It had been awhile since he felt like that.<p>

"Wow, there are so many!" Elli exclaimed as she knelt down and began to pick the orchids. "Do they only grow here?"  
>"This is the only place I've seen them," Jack admitted. "You could probably ask Basil though. He knows everything about where everything grows on this island."<p>

"I might do that," Elli said as she continued to pick the flowers. "I should try growing these back home."

"But then you wouldn't need me anymore," Jack pretended to pout.

"You're right. You've served your purpose Jack. You are no longer of use to me," she giggled.

"Gee, thanks," Jack sighed, but he smiled too. "You want to go eat?"

"Sure!" She stood up with an arm full of flowers and the two began to make their way up the hill.

"So why do they call this the Deer Lookout?" Elli asked.

"Well, Gotz found it awhile back, and he uses it to hunt deer since they often come through the clearing we were just in, and we have a good shot from the hill without being seen by them first. It's pretty convenient." The two reached the top of the hill and Jack spread the blanket for them to sit on. "I haven't been hunting here in a few weeks though. Got a buck the last time though."

"Oh, that's nice," Elli said. "I don't know much about hunting though. I don't think I'd be good at killing something."

"I wasn't either until my dad took me as a kid. It's something you just get used to. Here, let's eat," he suggested as he opened the basket and took out some sandwiches for him and Elli. As they ate and chat, he thought about all the raiders he had shot over the last few years. The first time he ever shot an attacker, he felt incredibly guilty about it, but like shooting animals, it no longer bothered him. It was scary how desensitized he had become.

"These sandwiches taste pretty good," Elli commented. "What's on them?"

"Ham and cheese, both from the farm," Jack answered.

"The cheese is really good," Elli continued. "I've never remembered it tasting like this."

"You must not eat goat cheese a lot then," Jack said in realization. "I didn't have any regular cheese left, so I used that instead."  
>"No, it's fine. Great really."<p>

"Okay, thanks," Jack said as he took another bite. "I wish we could have one of those cooking festival things again. I could probably win at one of those now that I'm a better cook."

"Oh yeah, I miss those," Elli sighed. Suddenly, she started giggling. "Remember that guy who used judge those competitions?"

"Who?" Jack asked before he started laughing too. "Oh yeah. Gourmet Guy, or something. I can't remember his real name, but that guy just looked ridiculous. It wasn't even the fact of how fat he was more than it being him wearing that ridiculous purple suit and hat. Still, he probably had the best job on Earth. Traveling around the world and eating food all day sounds like the life to me."

"Yeah… I wonder what happened to him…" Elli said as her voice trailed off.

"Elli," Jack started seriously. "The world was destroyed by a massive nuclear holocaust in almost every country on Earth. I think it's pretty obvious what happened to the Gourmet Guy." There was a silence before Jack got a goofy looking grin on his face. "Clogged arteries."

"Jack," Elli said as she punched his good arm. Her voice was serious, but he could tell she was trying not to laugh. "You know, I think you're corrupting me, because normally, I wouldn't be finding humor in somebody's death… even if it's probably true."

"Well, sometimes you just need to find a reason to laugh," he looked away. "God knows, that's the reason I'm still alive," he thought to himself.

"Yeah, that's true. I don't get a lot of laughs anymore. Everything is so serious where I work. I mean, the other doctors and nurses are friendly, but I can never really talk with them. That's why I'm really glad you invited me here today. It gets lonely being a nurse sometimes."

"Actually, that reminds me. I've been meaning to ask you something," Jack stated. "You were a nurse when I first came here, but you were only fifteen. How is that even possible? I had a friend who was a nursing major in college, and she had to go to years of school for that."

"You're not the first non-native to ask me this," Elli began. "A lot of the castaway doctors asked me this too. All I can say is that it's different out here. Nursing is viewed more as a trade, like being a blacksmith. My grandmother prepared me for the job and I started when I was fifteen because we needed income."

"Wow, that's rough," Jack responded. "I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life when I was fifteen."

"Yes, it was difficult to learn everything, but I love helping people. It's in my blood I guess. I just hope it's in Stu's blood too since he's going to start shadowing Doctor Tim next year."

"Oh, he's thirteen now?" Jack asked. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he talked to Stu. "How's he doing?"

"He's fine. He really grew up ever since… well, in the last four years," Elli answered, trying not to mention the nuclear strikes. "I don't get to see him as often since I live at the clinic and he's now living with Dr. Keller and his wife and kids."

"Oh yeah," Jack remembered. "The dentist. Well, I'm sure he'll do well. He's a smart kid."

"Yeah, you're right. He'll be fine. I just worry about him. He's such a free spirit and all, and I'm afraid he's not going to like being a doctor." She had a troubled look on her face. "I mean, the hours are awful, and you never get to go out much, or wear anything nice. I haven't worn this dress in over a year."

"Well that's a shame. You look really nice in it."

"Thanks Jack." A cute smile came back on her face as she looked down at her sundress. "It's been sitting in my closet forever, and I never get a chance to wear it. I'm always afraid it'll get ruined, and I would hate that so much. They don't make dresses like these anymore."  
>"No they don't," Jack replied. As Elli began to look off the hill into the distance, he began to look at her body as she leaned back on her hands. She was pretty slender and had a nice body. He had never been able to tell before since she was always wearing that nursing gown. As the sun reflected off her short brown hair, he began to melt inside. He had never noticed until recently how good she looked. Years ago, doing so would have made him feel like a pedophile, but now that she was an adult, he didn't feel bad for thinking so.<p>

"Jack, look," Elli whispered as she pointed into the clearing. A handsome stag had walked into the clearing and began to nibble at some of the foliage.

Jack moved closer to Elli to look at the deer below. He had the urge to try and shoot the buck, but he only had his revolver with him, and he knew nothing would ruin an afternoon like this like killing a stag that the girl he was with had spotted. Instead he looked back at Elli who was observing the stag in awe. Instincts told him that he should capitalize on this moment. He slowly placed his hand on top of hers. He felt her shiver as she turned her head to look at him, but then she began to blush and she turned her head away. Jack had noticed a small smile had emerged on her face again.

"She's so cute," he thought to himself. Something about Elli seemed so perfect. She was mature, and yet, she seemed to have a childlike innocence about her. The combination was beautiful.

* * *

><p>"Well, it was really nice spending time with you today," Jack said as he and Elli were standing near his house. It was still in the afternoon, and the workers were out finishing the crop watering.<p>

"You're welcome," Elli thanked. "I think I'll head back now. I need to get something to drink. That walk back was tiring."  
>"Hey, how about you come inside then," Jack suggested. "I have orange juice."<p>

"Wow, okay. That sounds nice," Elli exclaimed. She followed him into the house.

"Sorry, the place is kind of a wreck. I don't usually entertain guests anymore," Jack admitted. It was now in his habit to be out of the house as much as possible so he wouldn't have to spend a lot of time with his housemates.

"That's okay," she replied as she looked around the living room. "I don't think I've ever been here before."

"Yeah, you may not have." He walked over into the kitchen to get the orange juice only to find that he didn't have any clean cups. "Ugh, my roommates are disgusting," he thought to himself. He picked two cups out of the sink and began to wash them.

"Is that the deer you said you shot?" Elli asked. She was looking at the head that Doug had stuffed for him.

"Yeah, I just had that done," Jack commented as he continued to wash the cups. "Can you do me a favor and turn on the radio? It should be set to the right channel."

"Sure thing," she answered. She found the radio and turned it on. A slightly static-ridden channel buzzed in with some jazz music. "What channel is this?"  
>"Poter city has their own radio station for their people. Even though they won't let us in their territory, we can still reach their station. It's the only place I can really connect with anymore, but they give a little bit of world news and they play all this old music, so it's okay."<p>

"Oh, that's nice then," Elli said. As the piano music buzzed in the background, she began to walk around the room looking at the various things in the room. When Jack returned with the orange juice, he found Elli looking at some of the framed photographs that were hanging on the wall.

"Here's your juice," he offered. She nodded in thanks and went back to looking at the pictures on the wall. The one she was focused in on was one of a slightly younger Jack and a girl his age with a long blonde pixie cut hanging on his back. They were both laughing in the picture.

"Who is that with you?" she asked curiously.

"That… That's Kassie. She was my girlfriend at the time. I think we were twenty or so when we took that," he said as he reminisced about the day the picture was taken.

"She's really pretty," Elli commented. "Do you know what happ…" Her voice trailed off. It was pretty obvious what happened to her.

"It's strange," Jack began. "She was actually going to visit me during my second year on the farm, but the strikes happened a week before her plane left." He paused. "Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if she would have scheduled to visit a few weeks earlier."

"I'm sorry, that's pretty brutal," she said quietly. Her eyes were drawn over to another photograph. It was of Jack, his parents, and his younger sister. The photo was taken in a park and they were all wearing nice clothes. "Is this your family?"  
>"Yeah, that's my father, mother, and little sister Olivia," he answered. "We took this not long after she graduated high school."<p>

"You look an awful lot like your dad," she said. She was right. Jack's father looked like an older version of him with wrinkles and more gray hairs.

"That's a compliment, right?" Jack asked with a chuckle.

"Why would I say it if it wasn't a compliment?" Elli asked with a small laugh. "Yes, you both look really handsome."

"Take THAT Popuri," he thought to himself. "Thanks, I think so too."

"Do you know what happened to them?" she asked, not holding back this time.

"Well… my parents were in New York City when the strikes occurred. I've tried to email them after the event, but they never responded, so I can only assume…" He paused. "Same with my friends and Kassie… My sister was actually visiting some friends in Buffalo at the time, and they weren't hit directly, so I figured maybe she would have been okay, but she never emailed me back." Another pause. "I did get an email from my uncle in Maine asking if I was okay, but he never replied after I responded… I'm just really glad I brought these photos with me when I moved here."

"I'm so sorry Jack," Elli whispered.

"Don't be. I'm not trying to get pity or anything. It all happened a long time ago."

"Even so, I can't imagine how you feel. Losing everybody you knew from your old life…" She stopped herself. "Look, I'm sorry. I just can't understand how you must feel."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," Jack told her. "I'm sure you're able to understand some because…" he paused. He was about to mention how she lost her parents, but he figured that would be a wrong direction to go.

"Because of my parents?" she asked.

"No, I didn't mean that-"  
>"It's okay," she stated. "Thing is, my mother died when I was eight and my father…" she stopped as bitter memories passed through her mind. "I've lived for a decade without my parents. I've grown used to it. I had to grow up fast."<p>

The conversation had taken such a dark turn from the fun and jokes they were having earlier. Everything had become so serious. The song that was playing on the radio ended. A new jazz song began that was backed by a crazy saxophone player.

"Well, I guess we have a lot in common," he said quietly.

"Yes… I feel so comfortable with you Jack. You're just so… so…"

"Studly?" Jack interjected in an attempt to lighten the mood. Elli giggled.

"Sure, I'll go with that," she said. "But you seem so understanding. I'm really glad we could spend time together today."

"So am I," he replied softly. She moved forward and hugged him, which took him by surprise for a second. He embraced her too, and part of his hand touched her upper back. It amazed him how soft her skin was. As the two separated, her hands fell into his and he looked deep into her brown eyes.

"I could get lost in your eyes," he murmured to her. The line sounded sappy as hell to him, but he didn't care. She looked as though she wanted to say something, but the words weren't coming to her. Suddenly, without thinking, he leaned forward and kissed her. Her lips were even softer than her skin. But in the moment, she had not attempted to kiss him back. As he slowly pulled away, he noticed that the expression on her face was of shock, as if she had not seen it coming. Her cheeks began to redden again.

"I have to go," she said suddenly as she took her hands from his and walked out quickly to leave his house. Jack just stood in place, staring into space where she had been standing. What had just happened?

"Great, I was probably moving too fast for her," he thought to himself.

_"I could have told you this would happen."_

"Leave me alone," he muttered. He suddenly ran over and opened the door. "Elli!" he shouted. No response. She was already gone. He didn't understand it. Everything that day had gone so well. Why had she run out?

"I probably scared her away," he thought. "Damn, what the hell is wrong with me?"

* * *

><p><strong>Meh, I have writers block with the next chapter right now. I hope I can figure out what I want to do with it. Send in the reviews and stuff!<strong>


	8. Chapter Six: Honesty

_This Jack reminds me of Tony from Save The Homeland/ Hero of Leaf Valley._

**Who is that and how so? (I never played StH, so I have no idea.)**

_Knew it was gonna happen eventually. i hope those crazy kids work it out somehow, although it should be VERY interesting with Jack's sexual attraction to Karen and his lingering feelings for Kassie. Not to mention what appears to be schizophrenia? _

**Well, of course it would happen eventually. Romance is listed in the genre : ). But yeah, it's going to be very interesting I assume.**

_The date scene was cute. Looking forward to more, as always. And I'm now also curious about your take on Elli's father... since game canon I THINK mentions both of her parents died... so I hope we get some light shed on this possible tweaking, even if not for a while._

**I'm pretty sure she does mention her parents' death in the game. But I have made small tweaks here and there in the story thus far, so we'll see how much of a tweak this is. And I'm glad people liked the date scene. It's really hard to make conversation seem real, which is what I've been going for.**

* * *

><p><em>Patient Log: Jack Slater, 630/2011_

_ I'm worried about Jack. I write that ever time I update his status, but his condition still bothers me. That being said, he really has improved. When he first came into me, he was an emotional wreck who couldn't discuss anything in his personal life without getting uncomfortable and tense. I guess that's what happens when you bottle up your emotions for so long, but many other people here who lost their past aren't suffering like he is, so it baffles me._

_ He's a very sensitive young man. Of course, in fear that he'll lose his dignity and masculinity, he refuses to show this side of him to others. That's why he insists on keeping his problems to himself. He wants to give the impression that he's alright. His fears of opening up make sense though since he's afraid of how his position will be effected, but I wish he could find somebody to confide in besides his journal and myself. He also mentioned Karen tonight in our meeting. He's mentioned her before, but never under any context besides her being just a friend. He says he's having sexual dreams about her and it makes him feel guilty. I encouraged him to try to put his shame behind him and try to tell her how he feels so he can find closure, but he refused. At this point in his therapy, I don't think he'll attempt this for some time if at all._

_ The way I see it, the farm is what's keeping him alive. As long as he's needed, he doesn't feel as much need to give in to the pressures of his psyche. I hope he can learn to lean on others soon so that he can feel needed in ways that don't require produce. That would be very healthy for him. - _Dr. Travis Harper

**Chapter Six: Honesty**

_Date: July 26__th__ 2011, Tuesday, 12:30 PM _

"Hello Jack. What'll you have?" Doug asked Jack.

"Egg salad and grape juice," Jack answered.

"Okay, coming right up," Doug replied before sending the order to the chefs in back.

"So where's Ann?" Jack asked Cliff, who was sitting next to him eating a slice of pie.

"She's taking a personal day. She was here before you arrived. I assume she's at the Goddess Spring or something. She goes there whenever off."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed. He had been feeling extremely mellow ever since the outing with Elli. Seconds later, Doug brought his meal and Jack paid him before taking small bites.

"Salad again, huh? You're just begging me to knock on you," Cliff chuckled.

"Not today Cliff," Jack groaned. "I'm not in the mood. I have to work the wall this afternoon and I had to plow this morning. It hasn't been a fun day."

"Relax, you look exhausted, so I'm not going to get on your case," Cliff laughed. "Besides, at least there are eggs in your salad this time. The protein makes it a little less gay."  
>"Gee, thanks Cliff." Jack chuckled slightly. He went back to looking at his food. He already wasn't feeling hungry, but he forced a few more bites down his throat.<p>

"So…" Cliff started in an attempt to break the silence, "have you talked to Elli yet?"

"You just had to bring up the elephant in the room, didn't you?" Jack asked in a groan. His situation with Elli had been the subject of conversation for the past few days, and he hated the attention.

"Well, nothing interesting has been happening in this stagnant town for awhile, so this is interesting enough," Cliff explained. "So have you?"

"Yes, I have and…Look, why do we always have to talk about me? Can't we talk about you for once or something?"

"Well," Cliff began as he leaned against the bar. "What would you like me to talk about? My 'fascinating' job at the winery? My improved shot at the pool table? Or maybe Ann and I, and our great se-"

"Alright, alright, we'll talk about me," Jack interrupted before he'd have to listen to what Cliff and Ann did in their spare time. "Yes, I have tried to talk with Elli. But she always finds a reason to cut the conversation short and I can't get her to talk with me about anything. When we have talked, she won't look me in the eyes. It's as if she's afraid of me or something."

"She probably is," Cliff agreed.

"Damn it," Jack muttered. "I was afraid that would happen."

"I wouldn't worry about it so much," Cliff continued. "When I started dating Ann, she was really inexperienced and everything started off rocky, but we overcame that. It just takes time." His hand left his fork and Cliff began to subconsciously toy with his pony tail. "Just try to talk with Elli again and be gentle. I don't know the girl that well, but according to you and Ann, she's really sweet, so just be honest with her and see where that goes."

"Yeah, I'll try that," Jack replied coolly. But he didn't feel so great about what that meant. Trying to connect with Elli would probably require him to become vulnerable, and he didn't know how ready he was to do that. "Honesty, huh?" he thought to himself. "Honestly, I don't know if I can do that right now."

* * *

><p>Another quiet day on the wall. Jack took a sip from his flask in an attempt to cool down under the hot sun. Day shifts were typically easier to guard since the guards could see everything on the water, but they were also more boring since most attacks didn't happen during the day. Most raiders were smart enough to try and attack at night when they had the cloaking darkness surrounding them. That was why Zack normally was off during the day and left one of his underlings to watch the wall.<p>

The hours in the hot sun seemed to last twice as long. To pass the time on duty, Jack had brought his journal, since it was safer to be multitasking now that attackers were infrequent. However, he just stared at the blank page in front of him. He didn't have anything new to write about since the date with Elli. No dreams, no voice, no significant drama, nothing. After giving up on trying to write anything, he flipped around through the journal before randomly reading one of the earlier passages:

February 15th 2009

_ I had an interesting Valentine's Day… or should I say night? Anyway, since I didn't have a significant other to spend Valentine's Day with, I went back and drank half a bottle of the special wine I had bought for when Kassie was going to visit. It was some old vintage bottle that Duke had made years back, and I spent a fortune on it, but since me and Kass can't share it, I just drank some of it in memory of her. After that, I let out a few tears and went to bed early so Kai wouldn't find me crying._

_ It was the dream I had that scared me. In this dream, I'm out near the lake, and Karen is there. We're dipping our feet in the water, and she tells me that I should be careful that the Kappa doesn't get me. I laugh and say that there's no such thing as a Kappa. She shrugs. But after a few seconds, she pushes me into the lake and starts shouting "He's going to get you, Jack!" Even though I'm in the lake, I start laughing too and then I pull her in the water as well. We start splashing each other for a few seconds before we just stare into each other's eyes while we're treading water. Suddenly, we're kissing. The shock woke me up._

_ I felt weird that I dreamt that. I've always found Karen very attractive and I've had a small crush on her lately since she's spent a lot of time with me, especially when I was in the clinic. But even so, I've never fantasized about her or anything. I mean, the dream itself was harmless. Maybe it was just the wine? I don't know, but I've never had a dream that vivid. I'm not convinced that it means anything though. I've had dreams about flying elephants, but that doesn't mean Dumbo is going to be paying a visit or anything. Still, I can't let go of the images. And Karen's face… I can see it perfectly every time I close my eyes._

"Whatcha reading?"

Jack looked up to see that it was Fernando who asked the question. Fernando was a dark haired, tan skinned castaway and one of Zack's top guards on the wall. He was the one monitoring most of the day shifts.

"This? This is my journal," Jack answered casually. "I've been keeping it since before the strikes."

"Why?" Fernando asked.

"Well, it relaxes me to write in it, and it's helpful when I want to review parts of my life."

"I don't see the point," he grunted. "That little book isn't going to help you shoot raiders or give the hospital medicine or anything. If you ask me, you're just wasting paper." He turned around and walked away.

"Whatever you say, Castro." Jack muttered. He didn't expect Fernando to understand. After taking another look at the ocean, he turned back to his journal and turned the page. Instead of finding words on the next page, he found a picture he had drawn.

"I forgot I made this," he said to himself. It was a sketch of Karen's face he drew from memory after the night of the first dream. Normally, his artwork left a lot to be desired, but this was a pretty nice sketch. He stared at the eyes he had drawn on her face. It was almost as if he were looking at the real thing. Suddenly, he snapped back to reality.

"Why do I keep thinking of Karen?" he thought to himself. "It's Elli I should be thinking about. We had such a fun lunch together, then some deep discussion, and then…" His mind halted. He began to think of the feelings he had for Elli. He was definitely infatuated with her. Underneath the professional exterior, she was a young, sweet, fun, woman. But when he took a risk to delve even deeper, he scared her away. Was it too much too fast?

There was another dilemma in Jack's mind. Even if things were to work out with Elli, would it even be fair to her if they dated if he were to still have Karen on his mind from time to time? He would feel awful if he continued to have dreams about Karen if he was with Elli. Wouldn't that be some sort of betrayal?  
>He remembered bringing this up with Travis. While the psychologist agreed with Jack that he ought to clear up his residual feelings before moving into a relationship, he reminded him that the Karen dreams were just dreams. A person can't always control what they dream. Sometimes dreams were just a mixture of memories and feelings from the day that were all meshed together. Though it was suspicious that he had dreamt of Karen multiple times, maybe they were just dreams. But how could he know for sure?<p>

"I'll figure it out when the time comes," he thought to himself. He closed his journal and put it back in his pack before returning his gaze to the ocean. It looked the same as always… except for peculiar speck in the distance. Curious, he raised his sniper rifle up so he could look through the scope. The eye piece wasn't as strong for viewing distant objects as a pair of binoculars would have been, but he could make out that the speck was of a large row boat.

"Hey Fernando, we got fresh meat in the pond," he called out while pointing. "Straight out there!" Fernando said nothing, but pulled out his binoculars and surveyed the distant waters.

"Yup, just one little dingy." Fernando concluded. "But a threat is a threat. Lock and load, men!" All of the guards fell to position and then the waiting began. After about twenty minutes, the boat was in firing range for all the guards. Jack noticed that there was a man and a woman in their thirties on the boat with a small child by their side. They all looked terrified at the sight of the blockaded beach and the men that aimed weapons at them. Jack didn't let his guard down though. There had been a group of raiders in the past who had kept a child on their boat to make themselves look harmless.

"Attention interlopers!" Fernando shouted into the megaphone. "You are trespassing in our territory! You may either turn around and leave now or put your hands up, and we will escort you onto land for interrogation! Make any sudden movements, and we will shoot!" Both the man and woman raised their hands above their heads while the child ducked below the boat's rim in fear. Jack still didn't drop his scope.

Fernando then motioned for five of the guards to go intercept the boat. Not lowering their guns, they went out to one of the row boats tied up to the dock and met the new boat out in the water. One by one, they bound all three of the frightened trespassers hands and escorted them into their boat before tying the new dingy to theirs, even though the woman didn't want to leave what was left in the dingy.

"We will bring your things ashore!" Fernando shouted. "For now, get into our boat." The tension began to calm as the guards rowed back to the dock with their catch. As the couple and their child were escorted through the gate to the safe side of the wall, the last few guards poked around in their boat for anything worth carrying ashore. However, they froze up almost immediately.

"Hey 'Nando!" one of them shouted. "We got a stiff in here!"

* * *

><p>"Well that went swimmingly," Jack mumbled to himself sarcastically as he exited one of the clinic's back rooms. The malnourished family had been brought to the clinic to be patched up and interrogated by Jack and Officer Harris. Jack had come across the job of playing an interrogator on accident a few years back on accident, and he was brought in ever since. Harris thought Jack was really good at picking out good and bad people, but even if it was true, Jack mostly just imitated what he had seen in the movies and on episodes of Law and Order. Still, he had picked out a few baddies in the past, so whatever he was doing was working thus far.<p>

He met up with Mayor Thomas and Officer Harris in the hallway. Harris had already finished up with the man.

"What do you think?" the officer asked Jack.

"She seems clean to me," Jack replied, referring the woman. "Still, she's a little bit shaken up. You better try and calm her down."

"You're way too rough with them, you know," Harris said, shaking his head.

"Yes, well one of us has to be," Jack sighed. He sickened himself sometimes with how nasty he could be in interrogation when he wasn't getting answers.

"By the way," Harris began, "I found these in Walter's pocket. We must have missed it during the pat down." Harris handed Jack a small box. Jack was intrigued by what he was holding in his palm.

"You should have caught this earlier," Jack groaned. "It could have been a gun."

"Yes, I feel like the guards are getting lazy. It's been too quiet lately," Harris agreed.

"Well, you two better switch now," Mayor Thomas cut in. "This family looks harmless, but we should still try to wrap this up today."

"Sure thing," Jack nodded. He turned to see a door open behind him. Doctor Tim and Elli had exited one of the rooms. Neither of them looked too joyful.

"How is the boy?" the Mayor asked.

"Sleeping," Tim replied. "He's a bit malnourished, but we gave him some food and water. We'll review his condition in the morning."  
>"And his twin?" Thomas questioned. Tim dropped his head a little.<p>

"He was dead long before we got to him. Looks like heat stroke combined with the bullet wound. We'll give his parents notice before we cremate the body." There was a long silence after the information was given. Jack noticed a tear roll down Elli's cheek.

"Well, I better get to work," Harris said glumly as he walked over to the room Jack had just been in. The Mayor and the Doctor left for the lobby to discuss something, leaving Jack and Elli alone in the hallway. There was an awkward silence.

"Hey Elli," Jack said in almost a whisper.

"Hey Jack," she replied without raising her eyes to meet his.

"Look, Elli," he started, "I know this is a bad time, but I really want to talk with yo-"

"This is a bad time," she agreed before walking down the hallway without even looking up.

"Shit," Jack muttered. He could have just made things worse for all he knew. But he couldn't think about Elli right now. He had a job to do. Putting on a serious face, he walked into the room where the newest castaway was imprisoned. He was wearing a patient's gown now, and his foot was chained to the bed so he couldn't escape. The man looked very tanned, and he had messy dirty blond hair to match his beard. He had an empty meal tray sitting in front of him on the little patient's table connected to the bed.

"Walter, Walter, Walter, it's so good to meet you," Jack started with a fake sounding greeting. "The last time I saw you, it was through the scope of my gun."

"What is this, some sort of good cop, bad cop routine?" the man asked in a frustrated voice.

"You could say that," Jack replied casually.

"Then I guess that makes you the bad cop, eh?" Walter asked. "The other guy seemed pretty nice."  
>"Look Walt, I'm not a bad guy. I'm just doing my part to make sure nobody gets hurt. As long as you have nothing to hide, this will all go easy peasy." He paused for a minute. "However, I will say I'm sorry for the loss of your one son. It's very tragic what happened." The last part was said with genuine sadness.<p>

"Where's my wife?"

"I just talked to her. She seems clean to me," Jack answered while looking at his fingernails. "Do apologize for me later though if you will. I may have freaked her out a little bit."

"Wait, what?" He sat up in a blink. "What did you do to her!"

"Same thing I'm doing to you," Jack continued. "Don't worry. I didn't touch her. Just had to get a little bit me-"  
>"I swear to God, if you did anything-"<p>

"Shut up!" Jack shouted as he slammed his fists on the table in front of the man he was interrogating. He stared angrily into Walter's unwavering eyes. "Call me a monster! Call me a son of a whore! I've heard it all before! I'm just doing what I have to do to keep this town safe! Anybody new who enters our little slice of heaven is regarded as a threat, and for good reason! There are a lot of motherfuckers out there who would kill us all and take what we have if we give them the chance, and I'm not about to let that happen! One bad apple spoils the bunch, and we burn the bad apples!"  
>"We had a child with us!" Walter shot back. "Do you think raiders would-"<br>"I've seen everything on that water, Walt!" Jack yelled again. "There was once a ten year old boy in a pack of raiders with an AK-47! I had to put a bullet in his head so he wouldn't put one in mine! Everything is a threat to us, and so are you!" After the words came out of his mouth, the man sat back down in his bed, terrified at what he had just heard. Jack paused for a minute as his memory began turning. He remembered the night he killed the boy. He couldn't eat for three days after that happened.

"Look man, it's an ugly world out there," Jack went on, this time, in a more civil voice. "We have to be ready for anything. Our future is filled with 'what ifs' and we have to be ready to deal with the harsh reality that the strikes have caused." He paused again so both his and Walt's breathing could return to normal. "Now, your wife already told me her side of the story, so just tell everything you remember, and if you aren't lying, everything will turn out okay."

Walter began telling the story of how he and his wife had made a hideout in an old wine cellar in an abandoned island town and how some raiders found them. Though they managed to dispatch the attackers, one of their sons was shot by a raider who had made it past their defenses, so they went out in search of help. Of course, Poter City wouldn't let them in, so they stumbled around the sea until they found Mineral Town. During the story, Jack raised questions at nearly everything the man said in order to pick up anything suspicious, and he fiercely pursued the answers. However, Walter's story seemed identical to what his wife said, so as the interrogation began to wrap up, Jack figured this family was clean.

"Harris says you're good, and I think he's right," Jack stated after the questioning ended. "Still, we'll be keeping an eye on you and your family. We'll give your supplies back to you, but we're keeping the firearms until we know you can be trusted. When you recover, we'll find you a job to do on the island if you choose to stay here."  
>"I think we will," Walter replied. "It seems a lot safer here. But I was a journalist before the nukes. What could I possibly do in this town for a job?"<p>

"The Mayor will assess you and your wife's strengths and make a decision on where you will work. Wages anywhere on the island are stable, so you'll make enough to support your family. Nobody goes hungry here."

"Okay then, that's good to know," Walter said. He still was uncomfortable around Jack, which was visible by his body language and facial expression.

"Oh, and one more thing," Jack added as he pulled the box Harris had given him. "Harris found these in your pocket." He tossed the opened box of cigarettes into Walter's lap. "Mind telling me where you got those?"

"Traded a bottle of wine for them," Walter answered. "Do you want one?" It almost seemed as if he was trying to gain favor with his captor.

"I don't think so," Jack sighed. "I went cold turkey after the strikes. Just enjoy those while they last, cause you're gonna go crazy when you're out."

The door opened behind him. Jack turned his head to see Elli peaking in.

"I need to run some tests on the patient, so can you tell me when you're done?" she asked.

"Already am," Jack answered as he stood up and left the room after she entered. Harris was waiting for him outside the door, and the two men discussed what they had observed and came to the same conclusion.

"So, what do you two think?" the Mayor asked upon his return.

"We both agree that they're just ordinary castaways," Harris answered. "We'll keep an eye on them, but they look safe."

"Excellent, I'll look into finding them living arrangements," the Mayor chirped. "Thank you for your time today, both of you."

"No problem," Jack sighed. As the mayor and his son left the clinic, Jack let out a groan and slumped against the wall. The day had been quite unpleasant and he just wanted a drink to forget it all.

"Oh, you're still here?" Elli asked as she exited Walter's room. She still wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"Huh?… Oh yeah, I'm leaving," he answered. He began to walk out of the hallway, but stopped halfway out. "Wait, Elli, can we please talk?"  
>"Jack…" she sighed. "I have work to-"<p>

"Look, I won't keep you that long. I just want to talk. Please? Just for a minute?" She finally looked up into his eyes. He couldn't read what she was feeling under what looked to be saddness.

"Come with me," she whispered. Taking his hand, she lead him through the hallway to the backyard of the clinic. The yard was built into a small garden, with little pathways running between what the doctors were growing. Elli sat down on an old stone bench, and motioned for Jack to join her. He sat down next to her, but didn't say anything for a few seconds or so. He continued to study her face.

"I hate it when you're like this," he whispered to her, finally breaking the silence.

"Like what?" she asked. She slightly turned her head to look at him, but she still wouldn't meet his gaze.

"When you're unhappy like this," he continued. The last time he remembered her being really unhappy was when Ellen died. "I like it when you smile. Your smile always makes me feel warm inside."

"Thanks," she replied in a whisper. "I'm just so sad about that poor boy. It's always sad when people die, but when it's a child…" She paused so she could wipe her eyes. "It's just another reminder about how mortal we are."

"It is tragic," Jack agreed. "I feel awful though."

"Why?"

"Because I… It's a sad situation, but I no longer feel moved by deaths like these," he looked away from her. "You probably think I'm an unfeeling monst-"  
>"I don't," Elli interrupted. "But what do you mean?"<p>

"I guess… Knowing how millions of people were killed in the strikes, and how many people die here… death just feels like a routine thing to me. What's even worse is that I've become this way from all the raiders I killed. It's no longer a sin to me. It's just a chore now, like watering crops or milking cows." He stopped himself there when he realized how angsty he was sounding. "I'm sorry, I'm not normally like this. I just hate killing people, even if they are raiders. And I hate interrogation, because I'm a dick when I do it."  
>"Then why do you do it?" Elli questioned. She was completely looking at him now, her eyes filled with concern.<p>

"Because I need to," Jack sighed. "This is the last good place left on Earth, and I feel like I need to defend it and provide for it, or I don't deserve it."

"I understand where you're coming from, sort of," Elli said sympathetically. "Sometimes, I feel as though if I don't work hard enough, I'm wasting the Goddess's blessing that keeps us safe. I get why you feel that way."

"Thank you…" he murmured. There was another gap of silence. Jack decided that it was time to get to the really touchy subject. "Elli?"

"Yes?"

"I want to talk about last week." Upon the mere mention, Elli turned her head away from him. She was blushing again. "You had a good time with me, right?"

"Yes… To be honest, it was the most fun I've had in years. Just talking with you… you don't talk with me like I'm a coworker or a child or anything like that. It was refreshing." A small smile emerged on her face.

"Okay then," Jack continued. "I just want to know if I did anything wrong when we… err… I… um." The cat got his tongue.

"Kissed me?" Elli completed his statement and he felt his face warm up with blood.

"Yes, that's it," he muttered awkwardly. "Look, I'm sorry about that. I thought we had made a special connection or something, and I guess I acted stupidly since I know what I did must have made you uncomfortable since you just kinda ran out after-"

"Jack, please don't apologize," Elli cut through his nervous rambling. "When you… you know… I kind of freaked out because I didn't know what to do, and I felt stupid because I didn't kiss you back. I really embarrassed myself because I felt so immature and inexperienced. I mean, I know you're a bit older than me, and I was afraid that you were just going to see me like a chil-" She stopped as she rearranged the words in her head. "I didn't want to be seen by you as pretty much everybody else sees me."

"I'll be honest," Jack stated. "For all these years I've known you, that was how I viewed you. I always thought you were just a sweet girl. But after getting to know you better these past few weeks, you're so much deeper than that. You're nice, you're smart, and you do have…" he paused as he searched for the right word. "You do have this beautiful sense of 'youth' in you that most girls your age no longer have."

"By youth, do you mean innocence," Elli asked. Her smile had somewhat fallen.

"No, not necessarily," Jack continued. "I can't make a judgment call on your innocence. I just…I don't know. It's this good feeling I get when I'm around you. I like that feeling. And I really like you, Elli." He moved his hand to hold hers. She squeezed it when he held it.

"I really like you too, Jack. You make me feel like there's much more…" She began to blush again, but she closed her eyes and let out a small laugh. "Oh Goddess, it feels like everything is going so fast. Just a month ago, I feel as though I barely knew you and now… I just want to keep learning more."

"As do I," Jack whispered. The two moved closer to each other in an embrace on the bench. As Elli leaned her head on Jack's shoulder, he could smell her hair. The aroma of pink cat flowers rushed through his nose. When her head left its resting place, he leaned his forward and kissed her cheek.

"No Jack," she said quietly as they stared deeply into his eyes. "Really kiss me."

Without hesitation, he went to kiss her again, but this time she met him halfway through. The moment seemed like something out of a fairy tale or a really cheesy romance novel, but it was the best Jack had ever felt in awhile. For the first time in months, his thoughts weren't on Kassie, the strikes, the voice, or Karen. They were all focused on Elli.

After the two pairs of lips separated, Jack looked at the nervous young woman who returned his look with one of ecstasy. The sour day had a sweet ending.

* * *

><p><strong> Dear lord, that really did overflow the sappy meter in my opinion. But hey, the way I see it, it had to be done. They're gonna take my man card away for this though.<strong>

** So review and stuff. I'll get another chapter up sooner or later.**


	9. Chapter Seven: Out of Reach

**In regards to Duck Duck Shark's review, I uncensored the word. The thing is, I have no problem using the word "fuck." I just thought that maybe the website would if I used it in a T rated story, especially since I think I'm going to be pushing the boundary later on. However, since it ruined the effect of the scene, I uncensored it and will continue to spell it out.**

* * *

><p><em>The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is "What does a woman want?" - <em>Sigmund Freud

**Chapter Seven: Out of Reach**

_Date: August 25th__ 2011, Thursday, 9:51 PM _

"Well, our time this week is almost up," Dr. Travis reminded Jack. "So, let's review. Things have been going well?"

"Yeah, I guess they have," Cody agreed. "The summer harvest is just about in, and we've almost doubled our productivity since last year."

"The voice?" the psychologist asked.

"Hasn't really been bothering me."

"And your dreams?"

"There was one last week," he admitted. "It was with Karen again. But it didn't really get to me. I remember what you said. It's just a dream. And besides…" He didn't finish the statement as Elli crossed his mind.

"Besides what?" the doctor asked inquisitively.

"I have Elli. I'm happy with her. Sure, I feel a little guilty when I have those dreams, but I shouldn't worry about what I can't control, right?" "Jack," Travis began again, "I've noticed over this past month of sessions that you've been happier ever since you began your relationship with Elli. Do you agree with that statement?"

"Of course I do!" Jack exclaimed. "To be honest, I've been happier than I have in a long time."

"So is she your cure? Is this what you've needed to lift yourself from your depression?" Jack thought for a moment. "I don't know. I mean, would it be superficial of me to say yes? I just… Talking with her is so easy."

"Then what can you learn from this?" the doctor questioned. "That maybe what you needed to feel better is somebody to talk to? Somebody who you can open with? Have you told her about the things that trouble you?"

"No, she doesn't know anything about that. Then again, nobody does."

"Are you sure about that Jack? She's a nurse here. Are you sure she hasn't seen your medical file?"

Jack felt his face go white. "Holy shit, I forgot about that. What if she knows I'm not being truthful?"

"Well, don't let that concern you for right now. But tell me, if you don't talk about what upsets you, why does talking to her make you feel so much better when it's no different from talking to your other friends?"

"Because it is different," Jack tried to explain. "You see, I feel so comfortable being honest with her about how I feel about her, and I couldn't even do that with my friends. I mean, isn't that a start?"

"I guess I could agree with you there," the doctor admitted. "But that obviously isn't all you talk about, so what else about her makes you happy?"

"Well, she's a really sweet girl. I feel good just being with her. And we talk a lot, so it's ni-"

"You continue to mention how you two talk. Is that all you two ever do?"

"No…" Jack stuttered as he looked down.

"Jack, you're lying," Travis said, shaking his head. "You're eyes always start darting around when you lie. You're here to tell me the truth if you want me to help you."

"I'm here because the mayor is making me come here, or he'll tell the council what's up," Jack reminded him.

"So you might as well make the best of it," Travis chuckled.

"Fine, fine…" Jack hesitated for a second. "I really like Elli, but… we never really do a lot of… I mean, it's like I'm a freshman in high school again, and it's really awkward. We kiss, but that's pretty much it. Like, we've been dating a month, but whenever I try to make out with her, she freezes up. It's so weird. Same thing whenever I try to get to second base with her. I just…" He put his palm in his hand. "Am I wrong for being like this doc? I feel like such a horn dog right now."

Travis laughed. "We've been at this for a long time Jack. From what I know about you, you're a very sexual being, just like every other human on earth. Your frustration is completely normal if you aren't getting sexual satisfaction from-"

"Sexual satisfaction? No, you don't get it. I know this is all new to her, and I don't want to pressure her…" He paused again. "I just don't know why she's like this… Maybe she's scared, maybe…" "Maybe you should talk with her about this?" Travis suggested.

"You're right… But what if she doesn't feel comfortable telling me the truth?"

"Well then, you would find out that you two have a lot in common then," Travis answered wittily with a smile. "Keep that in mind over the next week. When will you be seeing her next?"

"In a few minutes. I'm meeting her at the bar tonight. She never goes there this late, because she doesn't drink, but I convinced her to come down to spend time with me and my friends. Maybe I'll talk about it with her later tonight…"

"Good, show some initiative," Travis encouraged. "I hope you reach what you're searching for, Jack."

"Yeah, me too," he agreed. "I'll see you next week Travis."

The coolness of the autumn had began to set in as he began his walk to the bar. He had told Elli that he would meet her there so that she wouldn't run into him at the clinic, saving him an awkward explanation for why he would be there at this hour. As long as he could keep making everybody believe he was working late, he would.

He entered the bar and scanned for the people he knew. Elli was the first figure that stood out to him. She was wearing a long shoulderless bluish-purple dress with an elegant design. It looked like something that the older women in town would have worn at Elli's age, but she looked stunning in it. Jack almost felt inadequate in comparison, since all he was wearing was a white t-shirt and jeans. But when she saw him, she smiled and began walking over to greet him.

"Jackie!" chimed a familiar voice. Before he could react, he was squeezed into a hug by Lola. She was a lot stronger than she looked.

"Oh, it's you. Hello," Jack greeted sheepishly as he half-hugged her back. He looked over at Elli to see her looking at Lola and him with a confused stare. He thanked whatever gods were watching that she wasn't angry.

"It's been awhile, hun. We gonna play pool?" She still hadn't loosened her grip. Jack pried himself out of her embrace and shook his head.

"No thanks, I still owe you that drink. And besides…" he walked over to Elli and kissed her. "I'm kind of booked tonight."

"Oh?" Lola looked at Elli with intrigue. "Who's this?" "This is-" "I'm Elli," she interrupted quickly and linked arms with Jack as if to assert her dominance over Lola. "I'm Jack's girlfriend."

"Oh, this is new," Lola said with a sly smile. "You're just a cute little thing, aren't you?" She turned back to Jack. "You sure know how to pick 'em Jackie. I'll see you around," she continued in her devious voice. She turned and walked back to the pool table where Cliff was waiting to lose more money.

"She's not from around here, is she?" Elli asked, a slight pinch of animosity in her voice.

"Nope, she's a castaway from South Flowers. She's Ann's friend, so she visits a lot to get drunk and sleep with guys." "Oh really?" Elli asked while giving Jack a suspicious look. "You seem to be very friendly with her."

"What? No, we've never… I just play pool with her. I don't go for her type." He looked down at Elli's face to see her smiling.

"I know you don't," she whispered. The two kissed again and then made their way up to the bar and took two seats.

"Hey Jack, Elli," Ann greeted cheerfully. "What can I get you two?"

"The usual," Jack replied calmly.

"Just water, please," Elli responded politely. She looked sort of uncomfortable in the bar setting, so Jack didn't figure they would be staying too long. He turned when he felt somebody else sitting down next to him. It was Rick.

"Rick, it's good to see you out of the poultry farm!" Jack greeted jovially. "How've you been? I haven't seen you here in months."

"I've… I've been fine…" Rick stuttered. Jack knew that Rick didn't like him all that much since he and Kai used to be good friends and Rick still hated Kai, even after his sister married him. Yet, Rick had always been civil towards him and vice versa. "Just some wine," he asked Ann when she came back with Elli and Jack's drinks.

"So, who are you here with?" Jack asked. Rick gave him an exhausted stare. Jack could tell that he was beginning to get on his nerves.

"I was coming out to see Karen, but I don't know where she-" "Heeey!" Karen shouted as she walked up behind the group. She kissed Rick on the cheek and hugged Jack from behind. Jack could feel Rick's eyes drilling holes in the side of his skull. Rick obviously wasn't all that crazy about Jack and Karen's close friendship, but he knew Jack would never try anything, so he let it slide. "I'm sooo glad you all could come. It means sooo much to me!" Her breath reeked of the hard stuff.

"Hitting that whiskey a little bit hard tonight, huh?" Jack asked with a smile. Elli giggled awkwardly in an attempt to feel as though she belonged.

"Jack, I love to drink. Is that a goddamn crime now?" Rick tried to get her to sit down next to him, but she pushed him off and sat down next to Elli. "So, Elli, what are yooou drinking?"

"Just water…" she mumbled.

"Water!" Karen yelled. "You can drink water any time. You're in a bar. Live a little!" She turned to Ann who was dealing with another customer. "Ann! Get Elli some whiskey! It's on me!"

"I don't drink alcohol…" At these words, Elli clutched Jack's hand under the bar. She seemed nervous.

"You okay?" he whispered to her.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just-"

"We can leave soon. We can go back to my place or something."

"Okay, if you want…"

Jack breathed slowly. He should have known bringing Elli here was a big mistake now that she had a better idea of how he spent his free time.

"Here's your whisley…" Ann offered nervously as she placed the glass in front of Elli. Her nose crinkled at the scent.

"I'm sorry Ann, I can't drink this."

"Yes you caaan!" Karen said. "You have a mouth, so you _can_ drink it."

"She's so clever when she's drunk," Rick muttered sarcastically.

"No, Karen," Elli continued. "I won't drink this."

"What! Do you think you're better than me? Is that it!" Karen shouted again.

"No, I just don't want to drink this."

"Okay more for me then," Karren shrugged as she took the glass. "Still, I can't believe you won't even try it." "Karen, enough already," Jack groaned. Normally, he found Karen hilarious when she was drunk, but in this situation, it was getting on his nerves. "She says she doesn't want to drink it, so stop pushing her." "What? You're taking her side? After everything we've been through?"

"What?" Elli and Rick said simultaneously as they turned towards Jack. He turned to each of them and shook his head. They realized that it was just the alcohol talking.

"I'm serious Jack," Karen continued drunkenly. "I'm just trying to help a friend out. If you don't get her drunk, how are you going to get this prude in your be-"

"Okay, we've had enough fun here for the night!" Jack interjected as he stood up, leaving his half empty glass of wine on the counter. "We're going to get going. Nice seeing y'all." He squeezed Elli's hand, and she followed him to the door.

"Goodbyyye Jack!" Karen called out as they left. As Jack and Elli exited the Inn door, he could hear Karen fall of her chair as it shut.

"Look, Elli, I'm really sorry," he apologized as he took her hands in his. "I could tell you felt out of place in there and-"

"Shut it," she demanded. "It's alright. So maybe your friends are drunken slobs. I don't care. I just wanted to spend time with you tonight… I'm sorry you didn't get to finish your drink." "No, it's alright," he sighed. "You want to go back to my place? We can watch a movie or something."

"Oh, that sounds nice," Elli replied. "I haven't seen a movie in years."

The couple linked arms and began to walk back to Jack's farm. They said very little to each other, but simply enjoyed each other's company until the farm was in sight.

"I really like your dress," Jack commented quietly as if he would wake those who were already asleep if he talked any louder.

"This old thing? I feel like I should be gossiping with the older townswomen in this."

"It looks rustic and sophisticated," Jack commented truthfully. "I think it suits you well."

"Aw, thanks." Elli ran her free hand down the side of the dress, feeling the fabric. "It belonged to my mother. It still looks nice, even if style is out now."

"Elli, have you seen the new clothes they make here? Style no longer exists except within the old clothing."

"I guess you're right. Either that, or you're just lying to be nice," she giggled.

"Maybe I'm doing both." The two arrived at Jack's house. Nobody was home. Kai and Popuri must have been out somewhere, which made things a lot more comfortable.

"Okay," Jack asked. "I have a small collection of DVDs and video cassettes here that I brought with me from homw. Just choose the one you want to watch." "Sure," Elli said, but she just stared at the titles. "Jack, I really don't know anything about movies. Why don't you pick?"

"I've seen them all a million times. I don't care what we watch."

"Okay then…" She gazed at the cases for a moment. "How about this one? _De Deux Amants. _What does that mean?"

"That's one of Kai's movies. I think that's French for 'Of Two Lovers' or something. It's a foreign film with subtitles. Do you want to watch that?"

"Sure, it's as good as any," she shrugged.

Jack popped the old cassette into the VCR and got a blanket for him and Elli to share on the couch. The movie was just as boring as Jack had remembered it. The last time he had tried to watch it, he only made it ten minutes in. Kai on the other hand loved this movie, but not because of its content. He always used to brag about how every time he watched this movie with a girl, he scored with her the same night.

"Oh great," Jack thought to himself. "There's probably some awkward sex scene in this movie. That's gonna be super fun to watch with Elli." However, it didn't matter what was in the movie, because Elli had fallen asleep halfway through. Her hands still in his, she rested her head on his shoulder. Jack let out a content sigh. He enjoyed simple moments like these.

The door opened behind him and Kai walked in carrying a sleeping Popuri.

"She fell asleep stargazing," he whispered.

"Same with Elli," Jack whispered back so he wouldn't disturb her.

"Good movie pick," Kai comented. "This movie has never failed me. She's going to want you inside of her when she wakes up."

"Well I'm going to put my foot inside of your ass if you don't shut up," Jack hissed. He did not want Elli to wake up and hear what Kai was saying. Kai replied with a scowl and carried Popuri back to his room. As the door shut behind him, the sound woke Elli up.

"What time is it?" she asked groggily.

"It's pretty late. Kai just got back," he replied softly.

"What happened in the movie while I was asleep?"

"They just had some affairs and stuff, but they're together again. I think it's almost over." The two silently watched the remainder of the movie. It wasn't until the credits that Elli spoke up.

"Jack, I'm sorry I ruined the evening," Elli blurted out.

Jack gave her a confused stare. "Ruined the evening? What are you talking about?"

"We left the bar because I was uncomfortable and then I fell asleep during the movie and-"

Jack put his index finger to her lips. "Shut up, you didn't ruin anything," he murmured. He moved his finger away from her mouth ran it through her hair. "I know work is tiring for you. I just like being with you. I don't care how we spend this time together."

"I really like being with you too Jack," she whispered back to him. "You make me feel safe."

"Safe? From what?" he questioned. "From the outside world?"

"From everything. When I'm with you, I never worry about my work, or raiders, or the struggle to survive, or anything." She touched his cheek with her hand. "I never usually feel this safe around guys."

"Why is that?" he asked.

"It's just…" Her voice trailed off and she looked concerned. "This feeling I get when I'm with you… I wish it didn't end."

"It doesn't have to end," he said with a smile. He moved his head forward and kissed her neck. As his lips traveled across her skin to her own, she closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. As the two began kissing, Jack slowly pushed her downward so she was lying on the couch. He adjusted his body and shifted it over hers, but when he tried to kiss her again, her mouth didn't move. It was as though she had turned into a statue.

"Hey, you okay?" Jack asked. Elli looked as though she had seen a ghost.

"I'm… I have to go." She maneuvered her way out from under him. "I've had fun, Jack."

"Look, Elli, is everything-"

"I have work in the morning. I'll see you soon." She kissed his cheek and swiftly headed for the door, leaving a confused Jack still sitting on the couch. He slowly stood up, bewildered, and went to his room. Lying down on his bed, he began contemplating what just happened.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked himself. "She seemed like she was into it, but then she just stopped. Why does she do this every time?"

"_She will never make you happy."_

"Shut up, I have work in the morning," Jack groaned at the sound of the voice.

"_That didn't stop you from trying to sleep with her."_

"I wasn't going to sleep with her. Not yet anyway."

"_You wanted to though. But like I said, she can never make you happy. You will never be able to tell her how you feel. She'll never love you like I love you."_

"You don't love me," Jack shot back. "If you loved me, why would you tell me to kill myself?"

"_Because I know you Jack. I know you better than anybody on this island. I know you better than anybody in your past. I know you better than you know yourself." _"That's not true!" _"Is it now? Denial can't save you Jack. Even if she were to love you, you will never let yourself become vulnerable to her, and you will never be able to truly love her back."_

"What do you know about love!"

"_I know it's something you'll never truly have. Every time you have loved somebody, you've lost them. Your family is dead. Your friends are dead. Kassie is dead."_

"Don't… don't talk about them."

"_Why shouldn't I? Because I speak the truth? Every time you have let yourself love somebody, you lose them. That's why you refuse to tell your friends the truth. You know you will lose them too."_

"Then maybe that's for the best. That way, I won't be hurt." _"And yet you continue to ache. Besides, withholding the truth from everybody makes you a liar."_

"I'm not a liar!"

"_You aren't? You could have fooled me. Everyday, you go out into the world with a smile on your face and a joke in your mouth. But inside, you're dying. What you show and how you feel don't match. Every time you smile, you lie. Every time you tell a joke, you lie. Every time your friends ask you how you are feeling, and you say you're fine, you lie. Every time you look at Karen and treat her like she's only a friend, you lie. You are a liar, and if you tell yourself otherwise, you're only lying to yourself. Just another lie to add to the pile."_

Jack didn't respond, but just looked at the ceiling in his room. The voice was making sense again. He began to shiver in fear of what it would say next.

"_The truth hurts, doesn't it? You aren't a good person, Jack. But I love you for who you are and not what you pretend to be. It's time to tell the truth to the whole world, Jack. Get your gun and end this futile existence you lead. You'll be doing Elli a fav-"_

"Leave me alone, you bastard!" Jack shouted. Suddenly, a knock was heard on the wall.

"Shut the fuck up Jack! I'm trying to sleep!" came Kai's muffled voice from the other side. Jack inhaled deeply and closed his eyes.

"Go away," Jack whispered. "I refuse to give up."

"_Just remember this Jack: You can die with me to comfort you, or you can die alone. The choice is yours."_

* * *

><p><strong>Meh, kind of a boring chapter in my opinion, but I had to set things up for the future.<strong>

**I'm going on vacation soon, so updates may be infrequent or not at all over the next few weeks. I'll try to update when I can. Peace out.**


	10. Chapter Eight: Walls of Glass

**Reviews from the readers:**

_I did notice a few errors here and here - more than usual, as though it was rushed a bit - so be careful. Still, I'm eager to see where everything leads with everyone... this group is like a series of time bombs ticking out of sync. I wonder if the explosions will be isolated, or cause chain reactions? Or both?_

**I admit, I did rush a bit on the last chapter, mostly because I disliked it. As a writer, I hate myself for that, but I just want to get to the good stuff already. As for errors, I try to clean them up, but I always end up leaving a few. I hope they weren't too detrimental.**

**Glad you're still interested so far though. But nothing of huge interest may be happening for awhile… or will it? Sit tight.**

* * *

><p>Journal Entry: July 18th 2008<p>

_ I've been spending my free time over the past few days visiting the church. It's been awhile since I've been in one for purposes of worship, but now's a good time to start, given all the uncertainty. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I was afraid that Carter would chastise me for suddenly turning to God the moment I saw a miracle, but he told me that such things are okay. He told me that my reasons for lack of faith were common, but now that I believe in God, I can take comfort in him as if I never left._

_ He's been answering all my questions, but the biggest one that he answered is this: How can you call yourself a Christian if you have a "Harvest Goddess?" Last time I checked, polytheism and Christianity don't mix. Well, he answered that too. Apparently, in the old days of farming, whenever there was a famine, the people would pray to God for a blessing. It is written in the book of the Harvest (their extra book in the Bible,) that God had sent numerous celestial beings known as the Harvest Angels down to Earth to watch over the people and answer their prayers (they pray to them sort of like how Catholics pray to saints? I don't know.) Anyway, because many members of the old Wicca communities found hope in these angels as well, they began to refer to them as the Harvest Goddesses. The name stuck. The Church of the Harvest has mostly died out with only a handful of parishes left, mostly in small farming communities such as this one. This branch of Christianity has received a lot of scrutiny from other Christian churches, but hey, Vatican City is a wasteland now, yet we're all still here. I wonder what the Pope would think of that…_

_ I asked Carter another hard question… Kassie was an atheist like I used to be. But she's dead now, and knowing her, she probably didn't change her beliefs the minute before the nukes hit. Does that mean Kassie is in Hell? Carter says he's not one to judge whether or not someone should be in Hell. He told me that I shouldn't worry about it since there really is nothing I can do about it. Still, the thought of Kassie possibly suffering for all eternity is an awful one to process. I cried as I said a little prayer for her in the hopes that God will hear…_

**Chapter Eight: Walls of Glass**

_Date: September 2__nd__, 2011, Friday, 7:05 AM_

A group of twenty men met at the boat dock on Mineral Beach. Walter was one of them. Using an old sea map, he was able to locate the island where he and his family had been living. Because they still had numerous supplies stocked in their hideout, the plan was for all of the selected men to row out to the island and collect the supplies to bring back to town. After all, there was always a chance that something useful was left behind, and the people did not want to waste anything.

"Okay men, here's the deal," Fernando shouted to the group. "We're gonna follow Walter's directions to get to his hideout. If he's not a dumbass with his map work, we should be back by six tonight. We're just gonna go straight there, strip whatever we find useful, then come straight back. One man rowing per boat at a time, the rest of them on guard. Be vigilant!"

"Yes sir," everybody said at almost the same time. One by one, they piled into seven large row boats, roughly three men to each. Jack managed to get a boat with Gotz and Gray. Gray quietly offered to take the first rowing duty, leaving Jack and Gotz to be on gun patrol. All the boats took off from the dock and headed out in a clustered formation.

Jack despised being selected for this duty. Even though it was a good service to the town to find useful supplies, he felt he would be better of pulling his weight on the farm. At least this day didn't count as his day off, which was coming tomorrow.

As he scanned the surrounding horizon for possible threats, he got a glimpse of Gotz, who was looking quite green.

"Having a good time, Gotz?" Jack asked with a chuckle directed at the carpenter's expense.

Gotz shot him a dirty look. "Shut up, Jack." He took a sip out of his canteen to try and alleviate his pain. "I hate scavenging," he moaned uncharacteristically. "Why do they pick me for these things? They know I hate being on boats. I'm a mountain man; not a sea dog." He held his head over the side of the boat and threw up a little bit into the radiated water.

"Well, you _are _the best man for stripping wood when we need you to on these jobs," Jack pointed out.

"We have other carpenters who are capable enough for this job," Gotz grunted as he wiped the spit up from his mouth. "Why do they keep choosing me?"

"Maybe it's because you're a good shot?"  
>"Maybe, but I don't know what they'll expect me to accomplish with my gun if I keep seeing all these spots in my vision," Gotz groaned as he rubbed his eyes. "Hey Gray, let me take over when you get tired. You could probably shoot a lot better than I can right now."<p>

"Sure thing, old man," Gray replied in a monotonous voice as he effortlessly powered away at the oars. Working as a blacksmith had made him strong, so it didn't look like he was going to tire out anytime soon. He was sweating though, so he took off his hat and set it on his knee. Jack noticed that his red hair matched the goatee he was growing.

"How've you been, Gray?" Jack asked. He and Gray never usually talked all that much, so this was a good opportunity. "How's the blacksmith thing working out for you?"

"I've been good. It's fine, as usual." He answered both questions without thought.

"How's Arianna?"

"She's alright," he responded as he kept stroking. "She's having a lot of morning sickness though."

"How many months until the baby is due?" Jack questioned.

"Two or three months," Gray answered with a sigh. Jack didn't ask him anymore questions since Gray obviously wasn't interested in conversation. Gray wasn't exactly the social type, especially since the strikes. Ever since the nukes went off, he had worked his ass off so that he could be ready to take over the blacksmithing job for his grandfather, should the old man pass away or retire. Despite his endless working, he somehow wooed and married a castaway. They were expecting their first child in the late fall or early winter. Jack had a lot of respect for Gray though, since he had made so much of his situation. Like Jack, Gray was also born in the states, but he didn't seem nearly as bothered as Jack was with the world, or he didn't show it.

"Don't splash any of that water on you, or you're gonna get cancer!" Fernando shouted to the fleet. After giving the ocean another scan, Jack looked into the water below. He was amazed to see a small school of fish swim below the boat. He guessed that they must have found a way to adapt in the radiated ocean. They were like the rest of the world: just trying to get by another day.

After hours of rowing, the twenty men had finally reached the island where Walter's family had been hiding. The tiny island looked like a ghost town now with all of the little building structures stripped of most of their exterior wood. There were also numerous tree stumps scattered around the island. The trees that were still standing were dead.

"Cute place," Fernando muttered sarcastically. "Where's this wine cellar you was telling us about, Walt?"

"It's over there." Walter pointed at a dead grove of trees behind a scrapped house.

"Take us," Fernando demanded impatiently. "Stay frosty, boys. Could be raiders down there now!" The group formed a tightly knit group, each man armed with a gun. They made their way to the location that Walter had pointed out, but there appeared to be nothing there but an old brick flooring. Walter grabbed a dirty looking brick and pulled upwards. It turned out that the some of the bricks were not really bricks at all, but a disguise for a secret door. After the ground door was lifted, the men looked down into the cellar below. There were no sounds, but Fernando motioned for Jack and several others to inspect the hole. Strapping his sniper rifle back on to his back, Jack pulled out his pistol and flashlight and lead the suicide squad into the basement. After walking the aisles of the wine cellar and flashing the light around, he came to the conclusion that there were no raiders in the hole. He did however find what looked like a torch holder with a torch still in it, located near the stairs.

"Hey 'Nando, throw me some flint!" Jack called up to his superior. The leader tossed down a fire starter kit, and after a few strikes, Jack managed to get a spark to catch on the torch. It lit up, and he picked up the flaming torch so he could get a look at the cellar.

"Holy Goddess, look at all the wine," he blurted out. Two of the dozen aisle racks were stacked with wine bottles, and several kegs were stacked up as well. Some discarded blankets and other various objects were still sitting on the ground. The objects were the things deemed unimportant enough to salvage when the family had abandoned the cellar. He walked up to the other torches and lit them to illuminate the room. "We're all clear down here! Let's clean this place up!"

Fernando and several others entered the cellar. Upon seeing the wine collection that remained, he let out a whistle.

"We're drinking tonight, boys!" he shouted. "I want ten men to hull these out. The others, stay on patrol!"

"Hey 'Nando, we gonna be able to take all this wine back with us?" one of the men asked.

"It's gonna be a tight fit, but it'll work."

"What are we even going to do with all this wine and stuff?" a new guard asked.

"We gonna bring it home and put it in storage for the future since we already got plenty of sauce back home. However, I'm letting all you boys take one bottle each for free for coming out today. My treat."

"Are you even allowed to do that?" the newbie asked.

Fernando sneered at him. "Chico, Thomas don't control what I treat you with. If you don't want the wine that I am so graciously giving to you, give it to some woman you wanna bang… or man. I don't judge."

"Hey, wait a minute, you can't just give my wine away," Walter shouted in the enclosed space. "This is my wine and my blankets and my-"

"And my opportunity to put a bullet through your brain unless you quit bitching," Fernando cut in angrily. "I don't care if this _was _your wine. It's our wine now. It's the town's wine. You, as an individual, are irrelevant to Mineral Town's survival. We didn't come here for your selfish desires." He picked a bottle of wine off the wall and forced it into Walter's hands. "You want your wine? Here's your wine. Enjoy it." Fernando turned away from the disgruntled Walter. "Let's get a move on!"

The group of men began to carry the wine bottles, wine barrels, and the other various objects out to the boats. As he was carrying a box of wine bottles, Jack noticed the fancy writing on the labels.

"Is this stuff good?" he asked Walter as the two loaded some of the bottles in one of the boats.

"Yeah, it's an old vintage brand or something," Walter replied glumly. "That whole cellar was untouched when we found it. I guess whoever lived here three years ago got wiped out by raiders or something, because this wine is too good to leave behind. We used to exchange these bottles for food when the traders came by."

"Wait, you were able to find traders on a regular basis?" Jack questioned. "They never come by Mineral Town that often anymore."

"Really now?" Walter said sarcastically. "That surprises me, given your hospitality.

This statement caused Jack to let out a groan. Walter obviously wasn't over his entrance interrogation, despite the fact that his family had adjusted to Mineral Town. But it wasn't worth arguing with the man.

After several trip, all the wine was loaded up, and the men began to climb into their boats. Before Jack, Gotz, and Gray could get in theirs, Fernando motioned for them to stop.

"Gray," he started quietly, "you're coming with me. Walter will be going with you two."

"What? I don't want him in my boat," Jack protested.

"Well I don't want him in mine either," Fernando shot back. "He keeps staring at me funny. You take him. That's an order."

"Ugh, fine," Jack gave in. After a minute, Walter joined him and Gotz in the boat, and they set out for home with Gotz at the oars.

"I still can't believe I'm only getting one bottle of my wine," Walter whined, breaking the peaceful silence in the boat. He kept turning the one wine bottle he had received in his hands.

"I still can't believe you're griping about this," Jack commented. "You don't need all that wine. It will be best if we save it for later use."  
>"Whatever… commie…"<p>

"Technically, we're socialistic timocrats, but whatever works for you, Walt." However, Walter's words did stir up Jack's insides. In a world like theirs with utilitarian tendencies, the probability of personal injustice was likely to strike everyone from time to time.

* * *

><p>Even though it was nine o'clock at night, the clinic doors were still open for emergencies. Though there was nobody at the counter, there was a small bell that could be rung, should a doctor be needed for whatever reason. Jack entered the dimly lit waiting room, only to bump into the Doctor, who was leaving at the same time.<p>

"Oh hey, what's up doc?" Jack said cheerfully. His smile fell once he realized that either Tim didn't get the reference or that he wasn't amused by it.

"Oh, hello Jack," he greeted professionally. "Are you feeling well? Do you need to see a doctor right now?"

"No, I'm just here to visit Elli. Do you know where she is?"  
>"I think she's upstairs in her room, but I'm leaving and I can't allow you to go up there without somebody to escort you. It's one of our policies."<p>

"Can't you just tell me where her room is?" Jack asked, but Tim shook his head.

"I'm sorry Jack, but rules are rules."

"Then can _you_ escort me up there?"

"Well…" the doctor stuttered as he kept nervously looking at the door. He obviously wanted to leave and Jack was slowing him down.

"Hey Jack, what are you doing here?" Jack looked to see that the voice's origin was on the stairs. Elli looked a little bit surprised to see him. She was wearing a yellow nightgown that ended a few inches above her knees.

"I came here to see you, unless you were busy wi-"

"No, I'm not busy. Come up stairs with me," she invited.

"Thank you Elli," Tim said in a relieved tone before heading out the door. Jack followed Elli up to the second floor of the clinic. There were multiple rooms on this floor where the live-in doctors and nurses lived, but Elli's room was on the end of the right side of the hall. When entering, Jack noticed that her room was tidy but very plain, except for various photographs of family and friends that hung on the wall. The quality of the room that was intense was the smell. The scent of flowers lingered in the air. Jack noticed that Elli had several flowers spread out on her desk.

"You weren't going to sleep yet, were you?" Jack questioned.

Elli shook her head. "No, I was just working on making some perfume, but it can wait." She motioned for him to sit on her bed before she went to put her things away. The mattress was soft.

"So," Elli continued as she sat down next to him, "why did you want to visit tonight?"

"Because I missed you," Jack purposefully answered in an obnoxiously sappy voice as he rubbed his nose against Elli's. She giggled and the two kissed.

"You just saw me yesterday," she replied, still smiling.

"Only for a few minutes. I wanted to spend a legit amount of time with you, but I guess if you want me to leave-" He began to stand up.

"No, please don't," she said in laughter as she pulled him back into sitting on the bed. "It's been incredibly boring around here. I'm glad you came by."  
>"Aw, thanks," he replied, giving her a quick hug. "So," he continued, "I noticed Tim seemed like he was in a big hurry to get out of here. I don't think I've ever seen him leave the clinic in years."<br>"Yes, he's busy all the time now ever since the strikes," Elli sighed. "I keep telling him that he needs a break, but he won't listen to me. But yeah, he has been leaving every night to go to the library."

"The library, huh? Isn't the library closed at this hour?"

"Yes, I think that's the point."

"Point of what?" Jack began in a confused tone. "If it's closed at night, then why does he…" It suddenly came to him. "Oh, I get it. It's not about the books, is it?"

"Nope," she chuckled. "Mary and him have been visiting each other in their spare time. It's really cute actually, seeing Tim happy like this. He's always so serious."  
>"So I've noticed," Jack agreed. "Mary's really smart though. She seems like his type."<p>

"I agree, they're both intellectuals and everything."

"It's sad…" Jack commented. "I don't think I've actually spoken to Mary in over a year… I can't even remember the last time I've been to the library."

"I go from time to time," Elli said. "Are you not much of a reader?"

"To be honest, I don't think I've read an entire book since college, unless you count farming manuals as books," Jack answered glumly. "Tomorrow is my day off, so I'll stop by there and see what she has. Probably nothing new."

"Well duh, we haven't gotten any new books since 2008," Elli reminded him. A sad expression suddenly emerged on her face. "Do you think people will ever write new books in the future?"  
>"I would assume so," Jack sighed. "Not for awhile though, I bet. Not until the world gets back on its feet… if it ever does." A cool breeze came in through the window. Jack felt Elli shiver as it passed them. She was only wearing a nightgown after all.<p>

"Here, let me close that for you," Jack offered. He stood up and pulled the window shut. "Looks like autumn is on the way."

"It doesn't feel like autumn," Elli said sadly. "It hasn't felt like autumn in such a long time."

Jack gave her a confused look. "What do you mean exactly?"

"I mean… Remember the fireworks shows they used to have?"

"Oh yeah," Jack replied softly. "I remember those. Well actually, I only remember the one from 2007 since they haven't done it since… it's a shame… those fireworks were really beautiful."

I know… They were the perfect way to end the summer. I wish they still did that event… I guess it's too dangerous now, given that the beach is hazardous now and we would just attract attention."

"Maybe someday in the future," Jack said in an attempt to console her.

"Maybe… I just wish… no, it's silly."

"What's silly?" Jack asked.

"Nothing, it's really juvenile. You'll laugh at me," she replied as her cheeks pinkened.

"I promise I won't laugh," he said as he put his right hand on his heart. "Just tell me."

"Fine, fine," she gave in. "I always went to those fireworks shows alone… maybe it's childish of me, but I always wanted to go with a boy that I liked… of course, I've never had a boyfriend, and… you probably think this is stupid, don't you?"

"Not at all," Jack replied truthfully. "I'm sure anybody can relate to that. I mean, we were all horny teenagers at one point in lives, so-"

"Jack!" Elli whined as she punched his side. "You promised that you wouldn't make fun of me!"

"Wrong, I promised that I wouldn't laugh," Jack corrected. Elli was blushing again, but she was still smiling. He would do anything just to see her smile like that.

He put his hands around her waist and began to kiss her. She received him and moved her arms over his shoulders and around his neck. As they continued, Jack shifted his hand to her bare knee, and began to slowly move it upwards towards her thigh. But as his hand passed the bottom of her nightgown, she reached down and touched his arm.

"Jack…" she murmured. She had a look of distress on her face.

"Okay," he whispered back weakly. He removed his hand and went back to their old routine. After a minute or so, they moved towards the wall as Jack pushed Elli against the headboard of her bed. It didn't take long before she froze up.

"I think I should be getting to sleep," Elli murmured. "I have work in the morning."

Jack pulled away from her. "Elli, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I'm fine," she answered quietly, though she wouldn't look him in the eye. "Everything is fine."

"Okay…" he muttered. He stood up and began to leave the room, but he stopped halfway there. This happened every time they were alone together. Everything would be running so smoothly, but when he would try to take things to a new level, they halted.

"No Elli," he stated as he turned around to face her. "Everything is not fine."

"Jack, what are you talking abou-"

"And don't give me this 'I need to go to bed' crap, because you told me yourself that you weren't going to sleep yet." He looked to Elli for a response, but she didn't say anything. She just stared at him, confused and afraid. _Calm down, you're freaking her out. _"Look, Elli… I'm sorry for the outburst… I just… why does this keep happening?"  
>"Why does what keep happening?" she questioned.<p>

"Whenever we're alone together, and we're making out, you always just freeze up and make some excuse for one of us to leave. Why does that always happen?"

"Well…" Elli began as she tried to put together a good reason, "Jack, don't you think we're moving kind of fast?" she asked.

"Fast? We've been dating for over a month," Jack argued.

"But I'm new to all of this," she retorted. "Why can't you understand that?"

"I do understand," he reasoned. "Or at least I'm trying to. I've been very patient with all of it, but…" He stopped so he could sit down with her on the bed. She still looked troubled. "But I… God, how am I going to say this without sounding like a pervert…" He paused momentarily to figure out what he needed to say. "I love your companionship, but I need more than just that." Silence took over. Jack noticed a serious look cross over Elli's eyes.

"You mean sex, don't you," she asked. Her voice seemed somewhat bitter.

"Well… no. Not right now at least. I'm not going to force you into anything like that, but I just want to know why you're so resistant."

"Because I know where this will lead!" Elli shouted. Jack flinched at the sudden increase in her voice. But upon looking at her again, she had immediately returned to her docile state. "Look, Jack, I know that if I allow myself to go too far, one thing will lead to another and-"

"And what's wrong with that?" Jack asked. "That's what normal relationships go through."  
>"But Jack… I'm so afraid." A tear formed in her left eye. Before it could roll all the way down her cheek, Jack stopped it with his finger.<p>

"Elli… what are you afraid of?" he asked, trying desperately to understand. "Is it the radiation, the raid-"

"It's none of those things," she mumbled.

"Then what is it?"

"I… I can't tell you."

"You can tell me anything," Jack begged.

"We all have a secret that nobody should know. Don't you think that's true, Jack?" He stared back at her in silence. He had an answer to that question, but he couldn't bring himself to say it, because in his mind, she was right.

"Elli, I…"

"Jack, I think we need a break," she stated, interrupting him. "You're… you're such a great guy. You've made me so happy in such a shot period of time, but it's not fair to you if I can't give you what you want…" She tenderly touched his hand. "I think we need some time to see if this is right for us. I'm sorry."

Jack said nothing in response. He just continued to stare as if the answers would reveal themselves to him, but from everything he had experienced, he knew that it would never be that easy.

* * *

><p><strong>I leave on vacation soon, so there's a good chance that I won't be able to update for some time. Either way, I need some time off so I can think about what I want to do with certain portions of this story.<strong>

** So review if you feel so inclined. See you on the flipside.**


	11. Chapter Nine: In Your Hands

**Greetings from Paris, France! **

**Reviews from the readers:**

_I really like the way you are incorporating religion into this story. The story about the Harvest Goddesses was unique and believable enough. I also loved how you have Jack worrying about Kassie and his wondering of where she is. Makes him more human. (Not saying that he isn't. You have done a good job making him well rounded so far.)_

**Thanks. I'm trying not to overdo it though, since this isn't about religion primarily, but I'm glad you like where I'm going with it so far. **

**By the way, should I add Elli to the character listing of this story? The reason I haven't so far is because this story is mostly about Jack and other characters (namely Karen) may be just as important. Also, I wanted Jack's romantic interest to be a mystery until the readers got a few chapters in, since Elli didn't really become important till later on.**

* * *

><p>Journal Entry: May 10th 2011<p>

_I don't believe that hearing a voice in my head makes me crazy. It's when I start talking back with it that I begin to question my sanity. Doctor Travis tells me that I should not take anything it says seriously. Because the voice is a part of my mind, it can counter any argument I make and sound reasonable in doing so. Travis told me to stop talking back and to do what I think is best._

_ Why do I respond then? Because sometimes, it keeps talking and talking until I do. The creepy thing is that it talks to me in my voice. I used to think back responses when it started talking to me, but when I started getting my own voice confused with its voice, I started talking out loud when I respond. This has weirded Kai and Popuri out on quite a few occasions, since the voice often starts talking with me when I'm in my room, and the acoustics in my house make every conversation public. I tell them I'm just practicing my speaking voice for future council meetings, but I don't think they're buying it. I hate how I can't do anything anymore without one of them getting on my case. I wish they would just get their own house already._

_ Then again, I don't want to be alone in this house with the voice, and I don't see myself getting married or even a live-in girlfriend any time soon. So, I guess they should stay. As long as there's somebody to wrestle the revolver out of my hand if I finally snap._

**Chapter Nine: In Your Hands**

_Date: September 16th, 2011, Friday, 10:20 PM_

Reading proved to be a good and entertaining use of Jack's free time. He had kept his promise to visit Mary's library, and picked out several books to keep him occupied. He had already finished Moby Dick, which was painful to get through, but now he was taking it easy with Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, which was much more readable, despite the older style of the English language. He wanted to check out a Shakespearian work since he had not read one since high school, but he had reject just about all of the suggestions Mary made for him: Romeo and Juliet, Macbeth, Hamlet… all great works, but reading about people committing suicide was something he wanted to avoid.

A Midsummer Night's Dream didn't have any suicides, deaths, or any sort of real tragedy. Even so, Jack was beginning to regret the choice in reading, since the plot revolved around four lovers being uncomfortably romantic with each other. It was quite sickening to read, especially since the last thing he wanted to think about was romance.

_"It's not going to get any better."_

"Shut up. I'm trying to read." As he looked back down at the page, he was distracted yet again by several other sounds. They were coming from the other bedroom.

"I don't need this," Jack muttered. He put the book down, put on his shoes and an old leather jacket, holstered his revolver, lit a lantern, and headed outside. As he started walking south, Brody popped out of his doghouse and followed him. Jack reached down and touched the canine's furry head with the tips of his fingers. It was good to have company, even if the company was just a dog. Sometimes, Brody was the only good friend Jack had on the farm.

"I feel like going to the hot springs tonight," Jack said to the dog. Brody replied with a bark, as if he knew what Jack was talking about. After ten minutes of walking, the two finally made it to the Goddess Pond. The spot looked exceedingly beautiful during this particular time of year. It was that early time in the fall that the grass was still a vibrant green, but the leaves were beginning to turn to lovely shades of red and yellow. The stars and moon reflected in the pond under the cloudless sky, but it was still pretty dark. Jack set the lantern near the bubbling hot springs for light, and then entered the bath hut to strip off his clothes. It then occurred to him that he didn't have a towel, but it didn't really matter. It wasn't so cool that he would catch a cold if he was wet.

Relaxing in the warm water was the best way to relieve Jack's mind of voices, romantic issues, and guns. It was strange how the heated pool could do all that. But as he began to get drowsy, Brody let out a bark. Jack turned his head to see somebody approaching the spring.

"Hey Brody," Karen said sweetly as she knelt down to pet the eager pooch. Jack noticed a towel draped on her shoulders.

_Good, she hasn't seen me yet. _Jack made an attempt to shift to the other side of the hot springs without being seen, but Karen already figured that he was there since his dog was.

"Hey Jack," she greeted in a bubbly voice as she stood up. "What's up?

"Not much…" he replied sheepishly. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for a bath," she answered casually. "Mind if I join you?"  
>"Um, actually, I-" Jack stopped talking since Karen ignored him and entered the bath house anyway. "Oh crud."<p>

Seconds later, Karen exited the bath hut and stood at the base of the hot springs, wearing a black bikini from the pre-strike days. She slid into the hot water next to Jack, who was just staring into space, trying not to look directly at her.

"So you seem kind of freaked out about something," Karen commented. "What's up with you?"

"Oh nothing. Just that I don't feel like I should be sharing the springs with you right now," he answered bluntly.

"Jack, we've shared the hot springs before," Karen reminded him with a giggle. "What's wrong with us doing it now?"

"Well, during those other times, I was wearing trunks." There was an sudden stillness that lasted for a few seconds before Karen burst out laughing.

"Jack, I don't know what you're so worried about. It's dark out and there are bubbles everywhere. I can't see anything."  
>"Yeah, well it seems kinda inappropriate, don't you think?" Jack asked.<p>

"What, you've never went skinny dipping with anybody?" she teased.

"Yes, I have… It just feels so weird that you're in here with me, and I'm not wearing any clothes…"

"Well," Karen began, "would you feel less weird if I wasn't wearing anything either?" She moved her hand up to her neck, where she began toying with the strap while flashing a beautiful smile. She looked extremely sexy right now. Jack was 99% sure she was just playing with him, but that remaining 1% kept him from joining in.

"That might just make things worse," he mumbled.

"Oh come on, Jack. Don't be such a lamer," Karen giggled as she scooted closer to him. "There's nobody here except you and me. Your secret is safe with me…" As she moved her face inches away from his, she touched his knee with her left hand. At this point, Jack knew what had to be done.

"RAAAPE!" he shouted at the top of his lungs. Laughing, Karen covered his mouth with her free hand.

"Shut up!" she giggled, but Jack pulled her hand off of his mouth and continued shouting.

"Rick, your girlfriend is molesting me!"

"I said shut up!" Karen splashed him with water. He splashed back and was about to tackle her, but he figured that would be extremely wrong, given that he wasn't wearing anything. Somewhere in the distance, a dog had been woken up by the shouting, and was now barking. Brody began barking back.

"Look, can you just cover your eyes or something so I can at least put on my boxers?" Jack asked.

"Fine, fine… wimp," Karen chuckled. She covered her eyes with her hand, allowing Jack to exit the water and grab his boxers from his pile of clothes in the bath hut. He pulled them on before re-entering the spring.

"I'll admit," Jack began once he got settled in the water again, "I was dreading you being here at first because I wasn't wearing anything, but now I'm glad you're here. You just made my evening fun."  
>"That's what I do Jack, I improve people's lives," Karen gloated as she rested her arms on the spring's side. "So, since we're hot tubbing, you have any juicy stories to share?"<p>

"Why would I? Nothing 'juicy' has happened lately. What about you?"

"Same here," Karen sighed. "But forget this town. Tell another story. You said earlier that you've skinny dipped with somebody once. That has potential."

"Wait, I said that?" Jack muttered in confusion.

"Yes, you did. You can't take it back. Spit it out."

"No, I'd rather not," Jack admitted as he smiled weakly. "It's kind of embarrassing."

"Come on, what's told between us here stays between us," she pleaded. "Please?"

"Oh, what the hell?" Jack gave in. After a few seconds of pulling the story from his stored memory, he began. "It was eight years ago at the beginning of the summer of '03. I was eighteen at the time. A bunch of my friends and I had just graduated from high school, so to celebrate, a bunch of us chipped in to rent a cabin at some mountain side lake for a week." He leaned his head back and let out a satisfied sigh. "Probably the best week of my life."  
>"Sounds nice so far," Karen said. "Get to the embarrassing part already."<p>

"Hold on, be patient," Jack pleaded. "Anyway, including me, there were nine of us in total. But at one point during the first few days, Kassie and I broke away from the group to go on a picnic near the lake. We set up under this beautiful willow tree and ate lunch."  
>"That sounds adorable," Karen commented. "You two look really cute together in those pictures you have in your house."<br>"Yeah, well…" Jack paused as he felt a pang in his heart. "After we were done eating, we started to make out on the blanket, but then she stopped it short and asked me if I wanted to go for a swim in the lake. I told her that I didn't have swim clothes with me, but she tells me that she doesn't either. Of course, I figured out where she was going with that."  
>Jack stopped again. His cheeks began to redden. "At that point, I had yet to see her naked. See, we had been dating for about six months at that point, but we hadn't had sex yet because Kassie wanted it to mean something, unlike in her past relationships. As for me, I had never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a month or two until then, and I was very inexperienced and nervous as hell that I would screw something up. But she told me to trust her and to let myself to become vulnerable. So I did. Piece by piece, she removed my clothes, and I did the same for her until we were both naked. We then went for the swim, which was fun and all, but honestly, I can't remember a whole lot of it. It was kind of funny though when we realized that neither of us had brought towels, so we dried ourselves with paper towels that we had brought with us to use as napkins. After we were dried off, we just kinda stared at each other. Even though we had just been swimming in a lake, she looked so beautiful. I told her that I loved her, she told me the same, one thing lead to another, and we ended up making love under the old willow tree…" He took a deep breath. "That's pretty much it."<p>

"Aw, that's actually really sweet," Karen said softly. "Why did you say that it was embarrassing?"  
>"Because it was my first time, and I only lasted five minutes," Jack admitted, his face turning an even darker shade of red.<p>

"Ha ha, I wouldn't worry about that if it was your first time," Karen giggled. "Besides, that's longer than Rick's first."

"Yeah, I'm sure he'd be glad to know that I know that now," Jack chuckled. Suddenly, he grew solemn. "Really though, that was a very good memory for me, not because it was how I lost my virginity, but because it was the first time I had ever let myself become completely vulnerable with somebody else. Likewise, she did the same, and I never felt so close to somebody in my life. I'm going to sound like a teenage girl here, but the moment… felt magical."

"I see…" Karen stated. "Is that the kind of relationship you want with Elli?"

"Yes, that's- Look, I don't want to talk about this. Can we please just talk about something else?"  
>"Jack, we've been over this," Karen scoffed. "There is nothing else to talk about in this town. However, you just seem to have all this drama whirling around you, and you've hardly said anything about Elli since you two broke up."<p>

"We didn't break up," Jack reminded her in a fierce voice. "We're just-"

"Taking a break? Well, you might as well be broken up," she sighed. "You never talk to her, and you haven't really talked to any us about it either."

"Look Karen, things between Elli and I were doomed to fail from the get go. We're just too different and it doesn't help that I'm six years older than her, because sometimes it just felt as though we were speaking different languages or something."  
>"That happens in all relationships, don't act like you're some special case or anything," Karen scoffed.<p>

"I'm serious, I told you this before," he shot back, "Every time I tried to get physically or emotionally close to her, she kept saying how she's afraid of something, and she wouldn't tell me what. What do you think that means?"

"Jack, I…"

"I just want…" he slowed down and tried to calm himself. The whole conversation had taken an entire u-turn. "I do really care about her, Karen. She's made me feel happy, and I don't want to lose her. I just don't know what to do." Another long silence filled the air. Brody started to whine when the conversation didn't continue. Jack noticed a conflicted yet sympathetic look on Karen's face.

"Jack… I'm going to get out now," Karen began as she shifted her body out of the water and onto the side of the spring. "If you want to talk about this, let's do it somewhere dry, okay?"

"Sure… Do you mind if I use your towel to dry off a little bit? I promise I won't make it gross or anything."

"Sure," Karen answered, though she seemed a little bit distracted. They both exited the spring and went into the hut to dry off and put on clothes, saying nothing to each other during the process. After they finished, Jack grabbed his lantern from the spring side, and the two went over and sat near the Goddess Pond. Brody also walked over and wagged his tail, hoping that one of them would play with him. But when no playing began, he just sat and observed the two humans.

"So do you have something you want to say to me?" Jack asked in a quiet voice as if he would wake the Harvest Goddess if he spoke any louder.

"Look, before I tell you," Karen started in a hesitant tone, "this is one of those stories that you can never tell anybody, or let anybody know that I told you. Is that understood?"

"I promise I won't say anything, but what does this have to do with El-"

"I'm getting to that," Karen snapped. She took a deep breath and began talking in a calm voice again. "I think I know what she's afraid of. You see, there are things about Elli that I assume you don't know because you only came here a few years ago, but… I believe that you care about her a lot, so I'll tell you what I know. But first, what do you know about her parents?"

"Her parents…" Jack pondered. "They're both deceased, right?"

"Yes, but do you know how?" Karen questioned.

"Um… no, she doesn't talk about them a whole lot. She did tell me once that she had to grow up fast because of them not being there, leaving her to take care of Stu and Ellen, but…"

"You got that part right," Karen said. "Elli has been through more than a lot of us. I feel so lucky that my parents are still alive, but her… she's really strong for what she had to endure."

"Like what?" Jack asked curiously.

"Like… shit, how am I going to say this…" Karen clutched her forehead as she struggled with the truth. "Elli… Elli isn't a virgin."  
>Jack just stared at Karen, confused about what she said. "Is that it?" he asked.<p>

"No, no, I didn't mean to say it like that. It's just…" she trailed off again. She obviously didn't want to say what was on her mind.

"Just what?"

"Look, Jack, this is hard for me to even talk about."

"That she's not a virgin? Is that really it? I mean why is that such a big deal?"

"Because she was raped by her father!" Karen suddenly blurted out.

"Wait, what!" Jack sat straight up in shock.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that. It just kinda came ou-"

"No, no, it's fine, I just… how did I not hear about this? I've been here for how long now?"

"Jack, the whole thing is pretty taboo. Nobody speaks of it, and only the older adults know about it," she explained.

"Then how come you know about it?" Jack asked.

"Elli didn't have any friends her age growing up," Karen began. "Because of that, my mom always told me to watch out for her and everything since I was older and we lived on the same road… she told me about what her father was doing, and I told my parents, who told the mayor and Officer Harris."

"Wow… I had no idea," Jack stuttered as he began to put the pieces together.

"Yeah, she doesn't really come off as a rape victim or anything," Karen said. "But it has been a long time."

"So you think that is probably the reason? That the thing she's scared of is me?"

"I don't think she's scared of you yourself Jack. I think she's just afraid of growing close to anybody after someone who was supposed to love her hurt her. Keep in mind that she's never really had any close friends and you two didn't really even become friends until this summer. The next time you see her, just be honest with her and try not to be so forceful."  
>"Okay… I still can't believe all that happened to her," Jack mumbled. "I wish I would have known. I wouldn't have pressured her so much…"<p>

"Jack, don't worry about that so much now," she told him. "Just focus on the future."

"I wish I could," he replied miserably. "But even though I know the truth, she doesn't know that I know. How will she ever be able to overcome these fears?"  
>Karen didn't answer for nearly a minute. Instead, she dipped one of her fingers in the Goddess Pond and made several small ripples by moving them. Jack looked into the water that Karen was stirring. Was the Harvest Goddess listening to his troubles?<p>

"Jack," Karen began once more, "when you told me that story about you and Kassie, you said that you felt closest to her when both of you allowed yourselves to become vulnerable. Maybe you that kind of situation for you and Elli to succeed," she suggested.

"But what if I can't create a situation where she's comfortable with me like that?" Jack questioned.

Karen took Jack's hand and squeezed it, trying to reassure him. "Then maybe you should make the first move in being vulnerable. I know how cautious you are with people, but let her in. What could go wrong?"

"Oh, I don't know, everything?" Jack muttered.

At that, Karen pulled him in for a tight hug. "Don't worry, everything will be fine. I promise," she whispered into his ear.

"Thanks Karen," he whispered in return. "Thanks for everything. I'm going to head out now. I've got some thinking to do."

"You going home?" she asked. He answered by shaking his head.

"No, if Popuri and Kai are still at it, I don't want to be around for that. Tomorrow's my day off, so…" he stopped to think. "I guess I'll go to church. It's quiet there. I need some quiet right now."

"Okay, good luck, Jack," Karen said.

"Thanks," Jack muttered. "I'm going to need it."

* * *

><p>The church doors were never locked anymore. Since there was nothing in the church worth stealing, and many people couldn't make it to services because of their work schedules, Carter always left the doors open so people could come and go as they pleased. Of course, the pastor wasn't awake at this hour, but he didn't need to be. Jack was only in the house of worship so he could think.<p>

He sat down in one of the second rows and Brody sat at his feet. Jack wasn't sure if dogs were allowed in the church, but since Brody was house broken, he didn't think the canine would pose any problems. Jack looked out one of the stain glass windows which were illuminated by the light of the stars and moon. It always brought him peace being in the church at night. But even with the tranquil atmosphere, his mind still buzzed over Elli. Everything he knew about her previously seemed irrelevant now that he knew the truth about her past. How could he possibly connect with her?  
><em>"You can't."<em>

"You don't know that. You're not in her head. Just in mine," Jack replied quietly.

_"I don't need to be in her head. I just know that she won't be able to understand you, just like how you can't possibly understand her."  
><em>"I'm not going to listen to you," Jack said bitterly. "I'm going to try. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain."

_ "When your life is filled with even more pain, don't say I didn't warn you."_

Jack didn't respond. He stretched out his arms and relaxed in the pew as he fell into a dreamless sleep.

Jack woke up several hours later with a crick in his neck_. _He looked out the window. It was still dark out. He figured it was probably two or three in the morning, but he couldn't tell since the old clock in the church was shrouded in darkness.

"What should I do?" he asked as he looked up at the suspended cross that hung above the pulpit. "I really don't want to lose this battle."  
>Suddenly, Brody sat up, his ears pointing upwards as he looked at the church's entrance. The dog must have heard something nearby. Sure enough, the door opened, and somebody entered the building, though Jack didn't know who since he didn't bother to turn around and look. Brody left his side to go see the person who had entered the church. The footsteps stopped. Whoever had entered was now petting Jack's dog. But seconds later, the footsteps continued until they reached the pew Jack was sitting in.<p>

"Hi…"

"Hello Elli," Jack greeted softly. He noticed the look of nervousness in her eyes.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" she asked.

"Go right ahead." She sat down next to him. She was wearing a skirt and t-shirt, though Jack couldn't identify the colors in the darkness. Brody walked back over to the pew and put his head near Elli's knee for her to pet.

"Is your dog allowed in here?" she questioned as she stroked the pooch's head.

"He's not going to cause any problems," Jack assured her. The two just sat there in silence for a minute before Jack tried to stimulate a conversation. "How's life?"  
>"Quiet. Boring. Repetitive," Elli listed. "You?"<p>

"Same," he answered simply. "What are you doing here anyway? Don't you have work in the morning?"  
>"Yes, but I woke up because Karen was throwing pebbles at my window."<p>

Jack chuckled. "Why the hell was she do that?" he asked, though he covered his mouth immediately afterward for cussing in the house of God.

"Well, I came down and asked her what she wanted, and she told me that you were in the church and that I should go talk to you."  
>"Did she now?" Jack asked as he cursed in his mind. He knew Karen was trying to help, but he wanted to have the upcoming conversation on his own terms.<p>

"Yeah…" Elli said. "You two are really good friends, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we've been close ever since I came here it seems. I guess it's because we both love to drink," Jack laughed quietly.

"You know…" Elli began, "I always thought that you two would start going out if she ever broke up with Rick. It seems like you two have so much in common and you two would be a really cute couple. You both just… light up a room." She fell silent after that confession and wore a sad expression.

"You're not the first person to tell me that," Jack admitted. "But even though me and Karen are close, we're just friends. You though…" He took her hands in his and turned to look her in the eyes. "I really miss you. When I'm with you, I feel so warm. I haven't felt like that in years."

"I've missed you too Jack," she whispered. The two moved in to kiss each other, but Elli turned away at the last second.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked.

"Oh Jack, I'm just scared this is going to be another loop. That we'll be fine for a little while, but then we'll just get frustrated with each other for reasons we can't explain. I don't know if I can do that again, and I don't want to put you through that."

"Can we at least try again?" Jack begged. "I want you. I really do."

"I just don't know. I'm sorry Jack, but I'm just afraid of…" her voice trailed off. Jack now had a clearer idea of what Elli's fear might be, but he wouldn't be able to say it. Instead, he squeezed her hands in his and took a deep breath.

"Elli?"

"Yes?"  
>"Do you remember how you told me that we all have a secret that we can't tell anybody?" he asked.<p>

"Yes, I remember that…" she whispered.

"Well," he began with a deep inhale, "I'll tell you mine if it will help you see how much I care about you."  
>"Jack, you don't have to-"<br>"Shhh," he hushed. "It's okay. I trust you." He closed his eyes and took another deep breath. He felt as though he was about to jump of Mother's Hill, because this action only had one way to go. There was no taking back what he would say. "Elli…" he whispered as he got ready to jump, "I have schizophrenia."

The tension in the air thickened like curdling milk. Jack opened his eyes to see Elli staring at him in shock. She opened her mouth as if she was about to say something, but closed it. After repeating this several times, she finally managed to say, "What?"

"Schizophrenia. You know, when a person hears-"

"Jack, I'm a nurse. I know what schizophrenia is. I just…" She paused as she tried to find the right words to say. "How do you have schizophrenia?"

"I don't know, I didn't run in my family or anything, but according to Dr. Travis, I have it."

"But you don't show any signs of it. Don't people with schizophrenia normally have social deficiencies or something? You seem really okay around people."

"Yeah, well… it's sort of mild I guess. I only hear one voice, and it started about last year or so, and I don't have any med-"  
>"Last year?" Elli asked in disbelief. "You're twenty-six, right? I'm pretty sure schizophrenia shows up earlier than that."<br>"Normally, it does," Jack agreed. "That's what Travis doesn't understand. He thinks maybe it was extremely mild before and it never really effected me, but that my depression intensified it and-"

"You have depression too?" she asked.

"A lot of people do, I think," Jack sighed. "Most of the people in this town aren't originally from here. The strikes drove people crazy."

"I know, it's just that you always seemed so happy and you work really hard all the time… I just have a hard time believing that this is really you."

"That's why I don't talk about it with people," Jack said.

"Does anybody else know?" she asked.

"Besides Dr. Travis…Mayor Thomas and his son know. Pastor Carter knows. Doctor Tim knows. Some of the other people who work at the clinic might know too since it's in my file. I thought you might have known also."

"No, I never saw that part," Elli whispered. "But none of your friends know?"

"Two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead," Jack stated. "I don't want them to know. Schizophrenia has an unpleasant stereotype, and I don't want that to define me since I have it under control. Especially since I'm on the council."

"Why would that matter?" Elli asked. "You're smart and caring-"  
>"And I have a mental problem," Jack added. "If the rest of the council knew about the voice, I would probably lose my seat and maybe my position on the farm. Nobody can know about this."<p>

"That's awful that you feel that you can't talk about it," Elli said, trying to comfort him. "Carrying that burden is must be overwhelming at times."  
>"We all have our crosses to carry," Jack replied gravely. "This is mine. Sometimes though… that voice scares me. Its voice sounds just like me, and it can be very persuasive at times. If it weren't for Travis, I honestly think…" He paused. "I think that I would have killed myself by now." Another large gap of silence struck.<p>

"Jack, why are you telling me this?" Elli asked. "If you are so afraid of what people would think, why are you telling me?"

"Because I trust you," he said as he moved his face closer to hers. "Even if this changes how you think about me, I know you would never try to hurt me by telling others about this. I just wanted to show you how vulnerable I'm willing to let myself become because-" He didn't finish the sentence because Elli hugged him very tightly.

"I won't tell a soul," she whispered into his ear. "To me, you're still the same sweet guy I've always known."

"Thanks Elli," he replied. The two continued the hug for several minutes. Jack felt great holding Elli in his arms, since the smell of her perfume combined with the warmth of her body was intoxicating.

"Jack, I know what the problem is between us," Elli said as the two separated from the hug. "I know you want more in our relationship, but-"

"Elli, don't worry about it. I could wait for you forev-"

"No, you should know. It's only fair…" Her eyes left his and were now staring at the floor. "I haven't talked about this with anybody recently except Dr. Travis, since I see him too sometimes. I feel really nervous about saying this."  
>"My lips are sealed. I promise I won't say a word," Jack swore.<p>

"Okay…" she started in a meek voice. "My mother died of breast cancer when I was nine. It really affected all of my family. Especially my father… He began to drink a lot and started neglecting his duties as the town doctor. My grandmother always yelled at him to shape up for Stu and I, but he would shout back even louder. I remember one time when he struck her, she fell out of her chair. He continued to grow more violent, and soon enough, he started whipping me with his belt, sometimes for no reason at all."

"My God…" Jack whispered. Even though he already knew how this story ended, the details made his stomach churn.

"Then…" She paused to wipe her eyes. "One night, he came home, much more drunk than usual. He called me to his room, and I reluctantly went, thinking I was going to get whipped again. He started with just whipping me, but then, he made me remove all of my clothes and…" Tears began to flow down her eyes. Jack touched her shoulder which suddenly caused her to pull him into another embrace as she buried her face in his shoulder. "He molested me," she sobbed. "He did it several times throughout the next weeks, and he told me that if I told anybody, he would kill me, Stu, and grandma." Her tears didn't stop. Jack ran his hand down her back several times in order to comfort her, though it didn't seem to help much.

"I… I can't even imagine what that would be like," he whispered. "What happened?"

"I was young and I didn't understand what he was doing," she continued as tears continued to roll down her cheeks. "So, I eventually asked Karen, since she was older than me. But when I explained it to her, she was horrified. She hid me in her house and told her parents what was happening. The whole town went crazy in a matter of hours. The adults formed a mob and arrested my father. After finding out for sure that what I said was true, they sent him away to the prison in Poter city." Silence stemmed again as Elli paused. "He was killed by the other prisoners in his first week. Apparently, prisoners have a hierarchy amongst themselves, and child molesters are at the bottom."

"Elli… I had no idea," Jack lied, though he knew lying was the proper thing to do in this situation. "And most people don't know about this?"  
>"Besides Karen, Dr. Travis, and now you, only the adults from before the strikes know about it. It's not something I enjoy talking about." She looked back into Jack's eyes. "I think that's the reason for why I'm so uncomfortable about going further with you. I'm afraid of sex. I'm afraid of growing close to others. I know you care about me and that you would never hurt me, but…"<p>

"You don't need to explain yourself," Jack replied sympathetically.

"But I do!" Elli exclaimed. "Besides you, I really don't have any friends. You're the only person who gave me a chance to be more than just a nurse. You've made me happy when the world seemed dull. I can't thank you enough for that."

"You've helped me too," Jack replied. "I haven't felt this good in such a long time. I feel so much closer to you now and I want us to have a second chance."

"I do too," she murmured. The two then shared a passionate kiss that seemed to freeze time itself for the two young lovers.

"I promise I'll never let anything hurt you ever again," Jack stated quietly.

"Thank you," Elli responded. "I just hope that you can be patient with me through all of this."

"Don't worry," Jack said as he looked out the stained glass windows, where he could see the blurry stars and moon in the sky above the dead waters that surrounded the island. "We've got all the time in the world."

* * *

><p><strong> Aaand, I have writer's block again. Damn it. Well, an update may not come for awhile since I'm in Europe and the internet access here may get sketchy. But someday. Peace out!<strong>


	12. Chapter Ten: Wingless Flight

**Greetings from Tuscany, Italy!**

**Reviews from the readers:**

_You've really made a great, yet tragic, backstory for Elli... And theres some really, really, REALLY cute scenes in there. The part at the hot springs was genius, and the scene at the church made me go 'DAWWWW sooo cute!' I love it! :D_

**Genius you say? I'm flattered. What part do you mean though? Is it the dialogue between Karen and Jack? Anyway, thanks, I'm glad you think so.**

_Very impressive, it's highly refreshing and interesting to see a story in the Harvest Moon category that's more than just about romance, but one that incorporates a fair level of angst, character portrayal and development, with romance prominent, yet not the whole plot itself. I'm really glad I found this, as it's very well written and intriguing. You've done well with this. _

** Aw, shucks, that means a lot to me. In regards to character development, that was one thing I wanted to add in when I wrote this. Most "Jacks" I read about seem to be generic guys who one day decide to go out and become farmers. I wanted to make my Jack stand out a bit more since he is (in my opinion,) the character I can personalize the most unlike the other non-OCs who I wanted to keep to their characters to how they were portrayed in the game. **

** Anyway, this chapter is a bit shorter, but it's required, so… enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Journal Entry: October 2nd 2011<p>

_ I had another intense dream last night and I woke up in a cold sweat. In the dream, it's night, and I'm crouching in a boat with a bunch of other people, though I notice that they're all a lot bigger than I am. The boat we're in is slowly approaching the Mineral Beach defenses. I hear Zack shouting the "Attention Interlopers" lines at those of us in the boat. But after he's done, we open fire. As I'm shooting the gun at the wall, I see a young brown haired man sniping the other men in the boats. I then realize that the man is me. But then who am I in this dream? Suddenly, the Jack that I see on the wall shoots at me. I woke up before the bullet hit me._

_ It took me awhile to realize that I was reliving the moment of when I shot that boy, except I was viewing the dream from the vantage point of the boy himself. I remember how my nerves were raging after that moment. It stopped bothering me after awhile because I came to deal with the fact that it had to be done. If I hadn't shot that kid, we could have lost some good men on the wall. But still, that kid couldn't have been older than ten, and I cut his life short._

_ Why am I dreaming about that kid after all this time had passed? I wouldn't know. My mind is a scary thing sometimes. But I'm not going to see Travis until later this week, so maybe I'll talk with Elli about it tonight. Even so, sometimes I feel like all this stuff has a meaning. Why is my subconscious toying with me like this. This island is a cursed paradise…_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten: Wingless Flight <strong>

_Date: October 2nd, 2011, Sunday, 6:07 PM_

Silver carried her rider through the forest at a blazing speed. As the wind pounded against Jack's face, he tightened his grip on the reigns and gave the mare another kick with his heels so she would run even faster. Since there had been no more horse racing ever since the strikes, Silver lost a lot of monetary value. There were stronger horses for pulling carts and plows, making Silver and the other horses of her breed useless as far as earnings went. Even so, she was worth more to Jack than all of the cattle on his farm. He had trained her to race ever since she was a filly, but even with the races being a thing of the past, he still enjoyed taking the horse out for rides when he had the time.

The ride through the autumn breeze was good for helping Jack forget about the stupidity of the dreams he had, the latest one being about when he shot that boy in the group of raiders. Sometimes, he believed that that moment was what accelerated his insanity. If it weren't for that day, would he had been pushed over the limit in some other way? He could never know for sure.

After awhile, Silver began to slow in her pace. It was time to bring her back to the stables. As Jack arrived at the horse stalls, he saw Elli waiting for him near his house. He gave Silver another tap with his heels, and she walked over to where Elli was standing. Jack noticed that his girlfriend was wearing her mother's elegant bluish dress again.

"Hey, I was going to meet you at the clinic," Jack commented as he hopped off his horse.

"Yeah, well I knew you would be late, as always, so I came here," Elli giggled. "And I was right. I guess I should accept that your horse means more to you than me."

"Hey, don't be like that," Jack replied smoothly before he kissed her. He was glad she wasn't actually mad at him. As far as girlfriends went, she was pretty low maintenance, excluding all of her emotional issues. "So are you ready for dinner?"

"I have been ready for twenty minutes," she reminded him. After Jack put Silver back in her stall, he and Elli walked to the inn, arm in arm. Ever since their sharing of secrets in the church several weeks ago, the two had been back on good terms with each other, neither of them fighting or having any problems they couldn't discuss with each other. Everything was moving slowly, but smoothly, which was what both of them needed right now.

The dinner hours were still young in the inn when the couple arrived. The two of them found a small table to sit at, but as Jack settled in, Elli didn't sit down with him.

"I need to go to the bathroom. Can you tell Ann I just want a glass of water and a chicken salad?" she asked.

"Sure thing babe," Jack replied. Elli smiled, but shot him a 'don't call me that' look at him before leaving. The moment she left the table, Ann arrived, ready to take his order.

"Hey Jack," she greeted cheerily.

"Hey Ann, how've you been?"

"Same ol', same ol'," she sighed. She looked as though she had been having a rough day so far, since strands or her orange hair were loose from her pony tail. "What'll you have?"

"Red wine and soup of the day for me, water and chicken salad for Elli," Jack answered.

"Okay…" Ann began to scribble the order down on her notepad. "So we haven't hung out in awhile. How have you and Elli been doing since you two got back together?"

"I told you before, we were never brok-"

"Yeah, yeah, taking a break, whatever helps you sleep at night," Ann scoffed. "So how are you two doing?" she asked again.

"Just fine," Jack answered. "We've been doing a lot better lately."

"Well, that's good to hear. Are you going to invite her to the Full Moon Festival?"

"The full moo- Oh, that thing," Jack said as he remembered what Ann was talking about. Most of the festivals of the pre-strike days had become relics of the past, but the Full Moon Festival was still celebrated since gathering on the Mother's Hill to watch a full moon rise in the sky wasn't considered threatening to the town's safety, so long as men were guarding the wall. "I completely forgot about that. When is it this year?"

"It's October 12th. That's a Wednesday or Thursday night. You two really should go. It's really romantic for couples."

"Yeah…" Jack agreed as his voice faded. "You know, I've never been to that festival before."

"Really? Why not? You've been here for almost five years!" Ann exclaimed. "How can you not have gone at least once?"

"I don't know, it's something that Karen told me. That it's okay to go alone, but that it's best to take a significant other so you fall in love under the moonlight or… damn that sounds stupid."

"Jack, have you been reading crappy romance novels lately?" Ann laughed. "It's just the moon, not an engagement ring. Just go and have fun. Quit thinking so much."

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks Ann."

"Don't mention it, hun. And by the way, Lola is here tonight, so you better leave early if you don't want to get pressured into losing more money at pool," and without further ado, Ann left for the counter again. Jack took a look around, but he didn't see Lola anywhere. He figured she was probably banging some guy in one of the inn rooms.

"So, did I miss anything?" Elli asked as she rejoined Jack at their table.

"Nah, just Ann. She came by to take the order and stuff. Hey, before I forget, are we going to the Full Moon thing or whatever on the twelfth?" Jack asked with a sudden swerve of the conversation.

"Well, I need to check my work schedule, but sure! I would love to," Elli exclaimed. "I love watching the moon in the fall. It's so pretty this time of year, you know?"

"I guess, though I've never been to this festival before, so… Okay then, check your schedule and we'll figure this out. If you are working later that day, we ride on Silver to save time getting ther-"

"Again with your horse?" Elli laughed. "Lately it seems like you're always finding some sort of excuse to ride her."

"This is the best season to do so," Jack explained. "She gets too hot in the summer."

"Still, that's all you seem to do whenever you-"

"Here's your food," Ann announced as she arrived back at Jack's table with his and Elli's orders. Before either of them could thank her, Ann suddenly squealed. "Oh, you two are so cute together, I just want to serve you both as dessert."

As Ann walked back to the counter, Jack let out an awkward chuckle. "Remind me to leave her a big tip before we leave. Anyway, yes, I love that horse. She's the closest thing I have to a car on this island."

"Oh, I see, did you used to drive?" Elli asked. Jack gave her a dumbfounded look.

"Elli, I'm an American. There are three things that define us as a nation: serial killers, obesity, and our love of motorized vehicles." He let out a sad sigh. "I miss my car. I had a little 2003 Ford Focus. It was so fun to drive. I left it at my parents' house for safe keeping when I came here, but now… I really miss driving."

"It must really be hard losing all those little things since you grew up with them," Elli said in consolation.

"Yeah, tell me about…" Several things from his old life flashed through his mind.

"If you don't mind me asking, what else do you miss?" Elli asked cautiously.

"Well, friends and family, obviously," Jack stated. "But as far as material things go… television shows, going to the movies, going to clubs, having an internet connection that wasn't crap…" His voice trailed off, but he suddenly recalled one of the things he missed the most. "Cigarettes."

Elli was astonished. "Really? Even now?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I'm no longer addicted to them like I was before the strikes, but if we suddenly started making them on this island, I'd probably pick up the habit again, you know?"

"If it's any consolation, I'm glad you don't smoke anymore," Elli stated. "It such a dirty addiction, and it's bad for your health. Not to mention cigarette smoke stinks."

"Yeah, I know," Jack agreed.

"Then why did you even pick it up in the first place?" Elli asked.

"It's calming. Lighting up can be super relaxing," Jack explained.

"Jack, the only reason it's calming is because you had cravings that you needed to satis-"

"Elli, please don't tell me what the cigarettes did or didn't do to me," Jack sighed. "I know all too well."

The conversation was steered over to Elli's life, which was mostly centered around her work. Both Jack and Elli seemed bored by this new topic, but Jack didn't want to make all of their conversations about him. Even so, he found it very difficult to pay attention. His gaze drifted over to the inn's stairs, which Lola was now descending. Seconds later, Phillip followed.

_So that's her flavor of the month. _Phillip looked pretty out of it though. He briskly headed straight for the door and made his exit.

"I'm surprised he's not gambling tonight," Jack commented.

"Who's not gambling tonight?" Elli asked.

"Phil, one of my employees. He's usually here every night playing cards, but he just walked out. That's so weird of him."

"He gambles here every night?" Elli asked, astounded. "How much are you paying him? Can he really afford that?"

"I pay him a normal wage, but he's really good at card games. He always knows when he needs to fold and when he needs to put it all on the line. He's actually pretty rich off of it now." Jack leaned back and shook his head. Some guys just new how to stack up the coins. "I played with him before. I ended up paying him a months worth of wages in one night."

Elli chuckled. "So I guess you don't gamble with him anymore?"

"Besides betting on pool games, I really don't gamble at all anymore unless I'm drunk or something."

"And how often are you drunk then?" Elli giggled. But her laughter died quickly when she saw he wasn't smiling.

"I don't do that anymore," he answered quietly.

"Really? But I thought you said you drink-"  
>"Nearly every night? Yeah, it's true. Maybe I'm an alcoholic. But I don't get drunk anymore."<p>

"Well why is- look, I'm sorry, I can tell I just touched a nerve," Elli apologized. "Just forget I said anything."

"No, it's okay. It's sort of my fault that you're curious about it." He took a quick glance around the room to make sure nobody was listening to their conversation before turning back to Elli. "Thing is," he said softly, "there are people like Karen and Duke who drink to forget. With me however, I end up remembering too much when I hit the booze too hard."

"Like what?" Elli asked. She looked concerned.

"The last time I got drunk was earlier this year, and I ended up having an emotional breakdown in the middle of the road. I kept thinking about everything and everybody that was gone, and- look, I don't want to give some angsty sob story. I know I'm not the only one who's lost loved ones or any-"  
>"<p>

Jack, it's okay," Elli interrupted. "I asked because I care about you. You would and have done the same for me."

"I know. I just hate these conversations. I feel like a whiny child. I just can't stand remembering anything anymore. I had a dream last night about the time I had to shoot that raider kid, but I was viewing it through his eyes. I just want to forget all this stuff."

"I understand how you feel," Elli whispered as she touched his hand. "Memories can be painful. But trust me, it all gets better. Time heals all wounds, so you have nowhere to go but up. Trust me on this, okay?"

"Okay," Jack replied solemnly. He took another sip of his wine. He believed Elli that he had nowhere to go but up, but he was still afraid that he would crash and burn.

* * *

><p>After a night with Elli and friends at the bar, Jack had walked his girlfriend home, but he couldn't stay long, since she had an early start the next morning. Jack arrived back on his farm, but as he was about to enter his house when he saw a figure standing at the south entrance of his farm, holding a lantern. Curious, he walked over to inspect who it was. As he approached, he could only see the person's back, though his dark hair was illuminated in the lantern's light.<p>

"Phil?" Jack asked.

"Oh, hey boss," Phillip said as he turned around to face his employer. He was holding an open bottle of wine in his other hand. "What you doing out here?"

"I should be asking you that," Jack stated. "You're just standing out here for no reason. Why are you drinking out here?"

"See this?" Phillip said a he pointed at the label on his bottle. "This baby is class. Spent a small fortune on this stuff. I was saving her for a night like tonight."

"What's so special about tonight?" Jack asked.

"Perfect night for a hike up to Mother's Hill. You should join me. The more, the merrier, right?"

"Phil… are you alright? You're acting really weird."

"No, I'm acting the truth, Mr. Slater. I'm acting the truth. Let's go for a hike."

"Uh… we both have work in the mor-"

"So!" Phillip shouted. "Just giver everybody the day off!"

"Um, Phil, this is a farm. I can't give everybody the day off on the same day. It's not as though there are a bunch of magic elves that will do the work for us."

"You are such an uncool boss, you know that? I'm going anyway." Phillip turned around and walked off the farm. Jack sighed, and followed him. Something seemed wrong with his employee, and it would be irresponsible to let him wonder off alone in the wilderness with nothing but a bottle of wine to get him drunk.

"So," Jack began as he walked beside his worker, "I noticed you weren't gambling at the inn tonight. That's pretty unusual for you."

"Yeah, well, I haven't been making as much money lately," Phillip groaned. "Ever since you council guys sent Andrew to the valley, my income has severely dropped. It really sucks. That guy was such a chump at poker."

"We did that with good reason," Jack reminded him. "He attacked you, remember?"

"He was just mad that I won. It was like taking lunch money from a nerd in middle school," Phillip laughed. "Besides, I didn't have time for cards tonight. I got to fuck that slutty girl from South Flowers. What's her name? Lauren?"

"Lola," Jack corrected. "Forgive me for prodding Phil, but aren't you still dating Beth?"

"Beth? Ha, the bitch is mad at me right now. She's not putting out, so I'm playing ball in a different field. If you ever get the chance, you should give Lauren a shot. She does this thing with her tongue that's just-"

"Spare me," Jack interrupted. He felt really bad for Beth now. She was also one of his workers, and she was currently pregnant with Phillip's child. Eventually, she would be likely to find out that Phillip was cheating on her, and that wouldn't end pretty. "What's up with you Phil? I don't remember you ever being this-"

"Real?" Phil snapped. "I'm living how I should be in this messed up world! But at least I'm being honest, unlike you!"

"Unlike- what?"

"Don't play coy with me, jackass!" Suddenly, Phillip started laughing. "Ha ha, jackass! Get it? Because you're name is Jack?"

"I think you've had enough wine," Jack suggested as he reached for the bottle, but Phillip started to stagger up the hill as fast as his wobbly legs could carry him. Jack chased him for nearly a minute before Phillip collapsed at the top of Mother's Hill.

"Look at all those goddamn stars," Phil wheezed. "You ever see this Jack?"

"Phil, what did you mean when you called me dishonest?" Jack asked, ignoring Phillip's question.

"Oh, right," Phillip continued. "You're a dishonest person. I know more about you then you think. You go out there everyday and act as though you're making a difference. Well, you ain't! You're just like me. Scared of the dark!"

"Phil, what the hell are you talking about?" Jack asked.

"I see you everyday on that farm. You're a miserable son of a bitch, just like me. You won't admit that you hate this little shithole of a town because it's all you really have now. Like me, and everybody else who washed up on this island, you're dreams are dead. Difference between us is I'm willing to admit that it all sucks. That's why I'm living it up while it all matters!"

"Where is this coming from?" Jack asked his worker again. "I don't understand."

"Oh yes you do. Don't tell me you're happy here."

"I'm okay here. I have friends, a girlfriend, a purpose-"

"But not your dreams. All you have left is bitter memories of what those dreams used to be! I wanted to be a biologist with a little house and family in the suburbs. Do you think I'm going to get that now?" Phi turned away from Jack. "Ever since the world blew up, it's been dying a slow and painful death. Someday, this town will die out somehow, as everything else will. Our 'purpose' as you say, is pointless. It's just a fart in garbage dump. What we do doesn't matter." He took another big gulp of wine.

"I wouldn't say that," Jack reasoned. "I believe life is what you make of it. Even if this island has its downsides, we should still thank the Harvest Goddess-"

Phillip spun around in anger. "If the Harvest Goddess, or God for that matter, gave a damn about us, they would have put us out of our misery a long time ago!" Suddenly, Phil's expression changed to one of sadness. A lone tear fell from his eye. "I just… I hate this. I hate Bush. I hate Kim Jong. I hate all of them. They just had to launch those stupid nukes. I don't feel like I should be alive anymore. None of us should. We're just struggling to survive for no reason. We're just living among the mushrooms." Silence followed as Phillip began to silently weep. Jack had never felt so helpless in his life.

"Phil," Jack said as he touched his worker's shoulder, "I know how you feel. I've been going crazy ever since the strikes. Let me help you. Let Dr. Travis help-"

"No, it's too late for that," Phil moaned. "You can't change my dreams. You can't save me from this nightmare." He walked forward on the cliffside and put his lantern down on a nearby rock. "I just wish it would end."

"Let's go home Phil," Jack urged in a comforting voice. "We can help you. Let us help you."

"I'm so tired, Jack," Phil sighed. "Too tired to walk down the mountain."

"It won't take long, I promise," Jack said.

"It'll be faster the way I'm going," Phil stated. He poured the rest of the wine down his throat and then threw the empty whine bottle straight down at the ground in front of him. It shattered into a million pieces.

"Wait, wha-"

"I like you Jack. I think you're stupid, but that little bit of hope in your heart… you've been a great employer. Good luck to you, and when you see Beth… tell her that I said I'm sorry. That I'm sorry for everything." Without a moment's notice, he turned around and jumped off the cliff.

"PHIL!" Jack screamed in panic as he ran forward to the hill's edge, but he was way too late. A sickening thud was heard from below.

_"Well, he has the right idea. You could take a page from-"_

"Shut up!" Jack picked up the lantern and began a mad sprint down the mountain. He still couldn't believe what he had just witness. But among the intensity that filled his mind and heart, he also felt sadness. He had found somebody that obviously shared in his struggle, and he had failed to help.

* * *

><p><strong> So, can somebody tell me why everybody here likes Vaughn? According to the forum search, there are currently 364 ChelseaxVaughn fics. Really? I never played the games he was in, but how did he become so popular? <strong>

** BY THE WAY! When this is done in the future, I'm considering doing a post apocalyptic story that takes place in ToT/AP (not sure which, because while I'm more familiar with ToT, AP seems more popular.) Still daydreaming about that though. Depends on if I like the way this one ends. Y'all think I should write that? Let me know. Peace out.**


	13. Chapter Eleven: Rumors

**Hey peeps, this is a longer chapter than normal. Hope you guys enjoy it. I might start updating less frequently now, but don't worry. I won't be abandoning this work. I just need more time to do other things in my life, and writing stories is going to fall a few notches on my priority list.**

* * *

><p>Date: <em>October 6<em>_th__ 2011_

_"Is it weird that I'm this bothered by Phil's death?" Jack asked Dr. Travis. "I mean, I didn't even know the guy that well. We weren't friends or anything. He was just my employee."_

_"Jack, you witnessed a man commit suicide. That sort or experience can deeply hurt anybody, no matter who sees it," Travis replied thoughtfully._

_"Yeah… I just feel awful. I wanted to help him when I figured out how crazy he had become, but I couldn't. I felt so helpless. And Beth… she has to raise that child alone now. I'm sure she has some friends who will help her, but even so… I'm giving her a paid vacation right now. She really needs some time to recover."  
>"Well that was nice of you. Very empathetic."<br>"It was the only thing to do really," Jack sighed. He looked down at his shoes as his mind began to spin._

_ "Anything else you want to discuss?" Travis asked._

_ "Before Phil died," Jack began, "he was saying all this crazy stuff… But what I remember him saying clearly is that we're just living among the mushrooms. That struck me for some reason."  
>"Oh?" the doctor exclaimed, interested. "What do you think it means?"<br>"I don't know. It sounds sort of metaphorical. I've been thinking about it all week. Maybe he meant that the world is poisonous and deadly, and yet we struggle to survive. Maybe he was referring to the mushroom clouds that sprung up worldwide on the day of the strikes." Jack shrugged. "I'm thinking to hard. Maybe he was just blabbering nonsense."  
>"Whatever the case, maybe you can learn something from those words," Travis suggested.<em>

_ Jack's face fell. "All I get out of it is what he was saying earlier in our conversation. Maybe all of this is pointless. Someday, we might catch a disease that kills us all or something might happen to our crops. Maybe a bunch of raiders will get control of fighter jets and blow us to shit. I don't know. What if he's right? What if this is all just futile?"_

_ Travis didn't answer him right away, but began scribbling something on his clipboard. Jack didn't need to see what the doctor was writing to know that it wasn't flattering._

**Chapter Eleven: Rumors**

_Date: October 12__th__, 2011, Wednesday, 7:30 PM_

"Naaahhh!" the goat bleated as Jack ran the brush through her coat. Judging by the thickness of the animal's coat, he made the assumption that the winter was going to be a cold one. After he finished cleaning the goat, he pat her on the head and stared into her eyes. He figured that goats were a lot like people in many aspects. They were stubborn survivors, eating whatever they could find, and surviving wherever they could. Unfortunately, this made the goats hard to deal with, but people in Mineral Town seemed to like goat cheese, so it was worth keeping a small population of goats in the barn.

The barn was devoid of people at this hour because by now, the workers had finished caring for the animals. Jack left the lone goat and walked down the back aisle of animal stalls, which were mostly filled with cattle. As he reached the intersection that would lead to the barn's main exit, he saw a young woman with dark brown hair (almost dark enough to be black) brushing a cow. Jack let out a depleted sigh.

"Beth, what are you doing? I told you to take some time off."

"Oh Jack, I didn't know you were still here," she gasped as she dropped the brush and turned around to face him. "I thought I should come back and do some work. Do you have anything you want me to do?"

"Yes, there is," Jack said. "I want you to go home. I told you that I want you to take some time off."

"I was just brushing a cow, it's not that hard," she replied.

"Yes, but it all adds up. Soon, you'll want to start plowing the field. I want you to take at least one more week off."

"But I feel so useless," she said, frustration showing on her face. "I'm going to be out for awhile when I have the baby. I need to get some work in before-"

"I can tell by your voice and your face that you're really stressed out. You need to take a break. Think of your child. It would be awful if something were to happ-"

"DOES IT EVEN MATTER!" she screamed. The cattle began to moo, startled by the outburst. "Phil is dead! He cheated on me with that whore, and then he killed himself! I can't raise this child by myself! I might as well jump off that cliff too! I wish I would have been killed in the nukes! I hate myself, I hate Phil, and I hate… I hate THIS!" she shouted as she referenced her belly.

Jack was at a loss for words. He just stared at Beth with a shocked expression. She was breathing heavily, anger and hopelessness burning in her eyes. But gradually, the intensity in her eyes changed to a look of sadness. Suddenly, she fell to her knees and bawled. Jack felt helpless. He didn't know Beth as anything except an employee, but he knelt down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Beth, I…"  
>"I don't understand!" she wailed. "He told me he loved me! Why did he do this to me!"<p>

"Beth…" Jack began, trying to keep his voice soft, "I'm sure he… he was mentally unstable when I found him. I told you before that he wanted me to tell you how sorry he was. That doesn't excuse what he did, but he loved you." Jack didn't know if that last part was true or not, but he figured it would be better than saying otherwise. Beth stopped crying so profusely and hugged Jack. It felt strange, but Jack awkwardly hugged her back. He knew she was just trying to find some comfort in these painful times and he might as well try to give her some since he was able.

"We were supposed to go to the moon festival tonight," Beth whispered. "He promised me. I just can't…" Her eyes began welling up with tears again.

"Beth, I'm going to schedule you an appointment with the psychologist. I wish I could do more, but this seems like the most appropriate form of action at this point, okay?" She nodded.

"Now, I want you to go get some rest, okay?" Beth nodded again. Standing up slowly, she walked at a snail's pace. Jack lowered his head and cussed under his breath. He felt so distant from these suffering people, even when he tried to be helpful. But now wasn't the time to think about that. Elli and him were still going to the festival, and he needed to get cleaned up.

After showering and putting on his cleanest jeans and a white button down shirt, Jack saddled up Silver and road her into town. He couldn't ride her extremely fast since the townspeople were heading towards Mother's Hill, but Silver kept a quick trot as she rounded the corner of town and reached the clinic. Elli was waiting for him. She was wearing a white blouse and jeans.

"What a surprise, you're actually on time," she giggled.

"Anything for you, babe."

"Aww, thanks. And don't call me that," she said. Jack was about to get off Silver so he could help Elli get on, but she insisted that she could do it herself. Without much effort, she hopped up behind him and put her arms around his waist.  
>"Hold on tight," Jack told her before giving Silver the starting kicks, and she cantered down the road. She was going slow enough that he could avoid people walking, but fast enough that there was always a possibility of a collision. Elli laughed and squeezed her boyfriend tighter, which made him smirk. The mild hint of danger was working to his advantage.<p>

Dusk covered the sky by the time the two reached the peak. Many other couples, young and old, were already there. A small group of teenagers was acting slightly rowdy and drinking, while some of the children were running around and playing tag. The couple hopped off of Silver and Jack tied her to a nearby tree. He then pulled out a lantern, a blanket, and a bottle of wine out of her side bag and set them up on the ground so he and Elli could sit down. Night was rolling in quickly now, and so was the big full moon.

"Wow, it looks so close," she gasped. "I wish I could just catch it in a jar and keep it forever."

"What, do you want the moon?" Jack asked. "Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down."

"That's a ridiculous concept, Jack," Elli laughed.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Jack sighed. He felt kind of down that Elli didn't get the reference, but that much was expected given how most of the original villagers didn't watch a lot of TV or movies. He put his arm around Elli's shoulder, and she leaned towards him as the moon continued its path.

"Jack?" Elli asked, breaking the silence between the two.

"Yeah?" he replied.

"Do you feel… weird out being up here?"

"What do you mea-… Oh, you're talking about Phil jumping, aren't you?"  
>"Yes," she answered. "Since you were here with him when it happened and all."<p>

"I was thinking about it earlier today, but not when we got here. I'm trying not to think about it though. The whole thing was pretty morbid."

"I know," Elli whispered. "Poor Beth. I can't imagine what she's going through right now, losing Phil like that and having to raise their child alone. I can't believe he would do that to her."

"Yeah, it was terrible," Jack agreed, "but I don't think Phil would have done any of that if he hadn't lost it. He was always such an even tempered guy. When I was with him that night, he kept having mood swings and he was saying all sorts of nonsense… I think he had truly gone insane from being cooped up on this island. He kept saying his dreams were dead and things like that. I guess not everybody can handle this."

"Do you ever feel that way?" Elli asked.

"Cooped up on this island? Suicidal thoughts? Dead dreams?" Jack listed. "Yes… but you already knew that."  
>"I know," she replied.<p>

" Look, I really don't want to talk about this right now," he said. "This is too beautiful of a festival…last real one they have left."  
>"Yeah…" Elli said. Silence overtook once more. "Aw, they look so cute together."<p>

Jack looked in the direction that Elli was looking to see Gray and Arianna cuddled up on their blanket. Jack wasn't so sure what Elli found so cute about the couple, since he didn't find Arianna that attractive. She had medium length dirty blonde hair, and an extremely plain face. However, Gray seemed perfectly happy with her. The guy rarely ever smiled, but when he was with his wife, he was always grinning from ear to ear.

"Yeah, they're cute, I guess," Jack agreed, though he was sort of lying.

"I've never seen Gray so happy," Elli sighed. "I guess he has everything he ever wanted."

_I wonder how that feels… _Of course, Jack had ways to drown out those questions. "Wine?" He asked, pulling out the bottle.

"That's really sweet of you Jack, but you know I don't drink," Elli replied. "Besides, I don't want you drinking before we ride the horse back down."  
>"Oh relax, I'm only going to have a little. I just thought maybe you'd want some since this is such a beautiful night." Jack knew he was walking a thin road when he was offering Elli alcohol, given how booze had a negative role in her past, but he felt relieved when she nodded her head.<p>

"Okay, just a sip," she said with a cute, mischievous smile. Jack unscrewed the cork of the bottle, and he let Elli sip straight from the opening since he didn't bring any wine glasses. She made an adorable face as the unfamiliar liquid passed her tongue. "That tasted… good. But no more for me, thanks."  
>"Okay, all the more for me then." The conversation stopped again as the entire peak grew quiet. The moon was reaching the center of the sky. As Jack took another sip from his wine bottle, he looked over at Elli as the moon shined on her face. Her skin looked so clear and soft in the moonlight. He reached out and touched her cheek with his index finger. Elli took her eyes off the moon, and looked into his eyes, saying nothing, but just smiling. To Jack, she was the most beautiful creature left on Earth. His stomach flipped randomly, and he felt his body becoming intensely hot.<p>

_That's odd. It's not like I'm embarrassed or anything._ Why would he feel this way? Suddenly, a possibility flashed in his mind. Was he in love with her? Did the moon really have that power like Karen said? No, that couldn't be it, could it? They had only been dating for a few months. Or maybe it was the wine? That couldn't be it either, since he hadn't drank a whole lot. Either way, the moon paled in comparison to the beauty of the girl's face.

* * *

><p>"Well that was lovely, don't you think that was lovely Elli?" Jack asked in a loud voice at the two approached the clinic. Silver was tired, so Jack had left her at the stable and walked Elli back on foot. It was past midnight now.<p>

"Jack, are you drunk?" Elli questioned with a giggle. He was walking straight and everything, but he was acting kind of weird.

"You bet, but it's not the alcohol. I'm drunk on _you_ Elli." _Crap, did I really just say that? _In truth, Jack was slightly buzzed, but he was feeling high on that warm feeling he was getting.

"You are now?" Elli asked in a weirded out voice. "Maybe you should come in real quick to clear your head. I don't want you walking home by yourself when you're like this."

"Sure thing, lover," he replied. Elli rolled her eyes and grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the clinic. Jack noticed that the whole building was eerily quiet at this hour as the two made their way upstairs to Elli's room. Once inside, Jack felt his senses returning to him. The smell of the flowers was intense.

"I love how your room smells just like you," Jack commented.

"Uh, thanks?" Elli asked with a chuckle.

"You're welcome," he replied as he pulled her into a close hug. He was feeling a strange mix of emotions: happiness, horniness, and warmth all rolled up into one cluster of feeling. He didn't want the hug to end, but soon, he knew that Elli would ask him to leave. Without thinking, he reached down and pinched her ass. Elli let out a small shriek as she jumped out of the hug and nearly five feet into the air.

"Tell me you did not just do that," she said in mock anger, though she was obviously surprised that Jack had done that.

"No," Jack answered simply. There were a few moments of silence before a crazy smile erupted on Elli's face. Without warning, she tackled Jack, who fell backwards onto her bed. Laughing, she pinned him against the mattress and he tried to fight back, except the room felt like it was spinning, so he was unable to escape her clutches. Eventually, the laughing from both of them stopped and all that was left was the two staring into each other's eyes. Elli was still on top of Jack, pinning his arms down with her hands so he couldn't move. She took one hand and swept some of Jack's hair out from in front of his eyes. It had been awhile since he had a haircut, and his bangs were getting pretty unruly. After she pushed his hair back, she gently pressed her lips against his. It felt foreign to Jack, since Elli rarely ever initiated any deep kisses like this, but at the same time, it felt great.

"I had a really great time tonight," she murmured as she pulled away from him, though she still had him pinned against the bed. "I feel as though viewing the moon with you somehow made us even closer, you know?"  
>"I agree," he replied. "Sometimes, I can't tell if this island is heaven or hell, but no matter what it is, at least I have an angel with me."<br>"Aw, Jack, you're so sweet," she replied with a smile before kissing him again. "But I'm still not going to sleep with you yet."  
>"Aw man, well it was worth a shot, right?" Jack chuckled.<p>

"Yeah, I'll give you credit for trying," she giggled. But as the laughter died down, Elli continued to speak. "I really want you," she whispered, "you have no idea. I'm ready for the next step."

"Well, okay, just be gentle with me," Jack joked, but Elli didn't even giggle at this. Instead, she just stared at him with a look that left Jack surprised. The look was one of pure lust, which was an emotion that Jack had never seen Elli express.

Without a moment's notice, Elli moved in again and the two began to make out as if it were their last night alive. During this make out session, Elli had taken the reigns and Jack didn't fight her for them. He remembered Karen telling him to let Elli have control so she would feel comfortable moving at her pace rather than trying to adjust to his.

Soon, Jack's hands began to move up and down Elli's body, exploring every curve and brushing over her warm skin. Throughout this, Elli moved her hands up and under Jack's shirt. Clutching his shoulders, she pulled him up into a sitting position and he let his button-down shirt fall off his shoulders. Elli wasted no time, stripping him of his undershirt before pushing him back down against her bed and getting back to work at kissing him while she continued to feel up his body.

Jack's mind was racing. He found it amazing how much progress Elli had made in becoming comfortable with him in such a short time, but at the same time, he felt like he was going into unfamiliar territory since it had been several years since the last time he had been this physically close with a woman.

"Hey Elli, I hate to be that guy, but I have work in the morning, so-"

"So don't leave," she whispered into his ear.

Jack wasn't quite sure what she meant by that, but he shrugged and returned to kissing his girlfriend. As far as they both were concerned now, the night was still young…

_"Jaaack, Jaaack. Where are you?" a familiar voice called out. Jack found himself in what looked like his childhood bedroom, except it was colorless._

_ "Kassie, is that you?" he asked. He looked around but saw nobody. Standing up, he went to his door and tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge. It was as if it was locked from the outside._

_ "Jaaack," Kassie called again. Jack spun around to see Karen on the outside of his window._

_ "Karen?"_

_ "Jack, why did you leave me here? Don't you love me anymore?" she asked in Kassie's voice._

_ "No, I still do! Please, what are you trying to say?"  
>"Don't you love me anymore?" she repeated as if he hadn't answered her. As she asked again, a thunderous boom was heard many miles away behind her as a bright mushroom cloud enveloped the surroundings. The explosion grew bigger and bigger until it reached the outside of his house, incinerating everything he saw out the window, including…<em>

Jack woke up and realized he was still in Elli's room. It was still dark, being in the early morning, but Jack was able to make out some of what he saw in the room. He tilted his head to the right on the pillow to see the back of Elli's head, since she was sleeping on her side. Sometime during the night, she had switched into the nightgown that she was wearing now.

The two of them didn't have sex the night before, or really anything close to it, but Jack didn't expect that to happen anyway. He was just happy though that Elli definitely seemed willing to take all these steps without him pushing her to do so. But now his mind was focused on the dream he had just had. What did any of it even mean? Kassie's voice, Karen's body, and an explosion… none of it really made any sense. Was it a load of residual feelings, or just a dream? He didn't know. He never talked a lot about Kassie with Elli since discussing old girlfriends was never a smart thing to do, but he still thought about her a lot. Even so, bringing up this dream seemed like a bad idea, especially after all the time they spent together the night before.

Shaking off the vision, Jack squinted so he could read the clock on the wall. It was 5:45 in the morning. Work would be starting in fifteen minutes. He shifted his legs off the bed and was about to stand up, but a hand grabbed his, stopping him.

"No, don't leave," Elli murmured. Her eyes were only half open, and a small smile rested on her lips.

"I'm sorry babe, but I have work," he whispered.

"Five more minutes?" she pleaded.

"Fine, you win," he sighed. He couldn't resist that face. He settled back down on the bed next to her and she put her head against his bare chest where she could feel his heart beating.

"You know," she started quietly, "if somebody had told me three months ago that we'd be together like this, I don't think I would have believed them."  
>"Oh, that stings," he replied, giving a tired grin.<p>

"It's just… I don't know. I mean, we've been acquaintances for years, but I feel as though ever since that day you let me ride with you to the valley, I've been falling for you."

"I know, I feel the exact same way," he replied. "When I told you last night that you were an angel, I wasn't just flirting. I said it because that's really how I see you. I feel as though you've saved me from myself. From all the shit in my head. When I'm with you, none of it matters." The last part of his statement wasn't completely true, given his emotional conflictions with the other two women who had had an effect on his psyche, but that had no effect on the way he felt about Elli and what she had done for him.

"Wow… I never thought I would mean that much to somebody," she told him. "I always figured that someday I would find a good guy that cared about me, but I never expected to have such a large impact…"

"You think way to little of yourself," Jack told her. "You've impacted a lot of people. You took care of your grandmother until she died and Stu until the Keller's helped you out with him. Can you imagine what it would have been like for them if you weren't there?" He ran his fingers through her hair. "You've always had an impact on others. You're so strong Elli. Stronger than you realize." With his other hand, he stroked the skin that ran from her neck to her upper back. As he ventured past the top of her nightgown, she looked into his eyes and shook her head. That fear had resurfaced again, though he wasn't sure why since he wasn't venturing into "dangerous" territory.

"So… where do we go from here?" she asked.

"We'll figure that out sooner or later," he whispered in return. Giving her one more squeeze, he left her side again and began putting on his clothes. He knew he'd have to get back to the farm so he could grab a quick bite to eat before work started. "I guess I'll be seeing you around then," he said so he could fill the gap of silence.

"Yeah, maybe I'll come by later."  
>"Great, have a good day then," he said to her. He went to kiss her, but before he even moved close enough, she grabbed his head in her hands and kissed him fervently. When they separated, she was wearing a goofy, mischievous smile on her face. Jack returned that grin with one of his own. The Elli he knew as beginning to go through a metamorphosis.<p>

It felt strange being in the northern part of town at this hour in the morning. Jack noticed a light dew covering the surrounding objects that he walked past. As he continued walking westward, he passed Anna on the road. He nodded at her, but she pretended to ignore him.

_Uppity little bi- What's she even doing up right now anyway?_ But he decided not to let it bother him. He had a great night, and nothing was going to ruin that.

* * *

><p>"So, I noticed you didn't come home last night," Kai mentioned as Jack and his head overseer were picking carrots that afternoon.<p>

"Well, I hope I didn't keep you up worrying," Jack replied with a chuckle. He and Kai had been on good terms lately, so their conversations had been a nice change of pace.

"No," Kai continued, a devious grin plastered on his face, "I was just hoping you'd have a good story to go along with it."  
>"Now Kai, I'm not a kiss and tell kind of guy."<br>"You know, those are the words of a man who didn't get any," Kai snickered.

"Fine," Jack groaned, "if you must know, we slept together."

Kai dropped the carrot he had just plucked and looked at Jack in shock before laughing. "Alright Jack, deflowering the Sunday school girl! High five!" He raised his palm to high five Jack, but Jack shook his head and went back to picking carrots.

"You've got the wrong idea," Jack told Kai. "We just slept."  
>"I know, that's what you said. I'm kinda shocked. Elli seems like the kind of chick who would wait until she was married. You must got a lot of swagger to pull that off."<p>

"No, you idiot, we just slept. As in sleeping," Jack said again.

Kai looked confused. "I don't get it. Was this before or after you fucked her?"  
>"I didn't fuck her, we just slept. That's it."<p>

Kai just stared at him for a second before letting out a sigh. "Dude, that's not a story. That's just plain boring."

"Fuck you," Jack responded. "Like you've never just slept with Popuri?" Kai was about to open his mouth until Jack held up his hand, motioning him to stop. "Forget it, that was a rhetorical question."

"Well, why did you say you two slept together? That really sounds like there was some sort of sex involved."  
>"I know, my tongue slipped." Jack stood up with the basket of carrots and dusted off his pants. "I'm gonna get lunch. I'll see you around. Just don't tell anybody what I just told you. Especially your wife. Her mouth's as loud as her hair."<p>

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Kai yelled at Jack as he began to carry away the carrots he picked. "And why do you think I'm going to go tell everybody?"

"Just a thought," Jack replied.

"It's because I'm black, isn't it!" Kai shouted. Jack laughed. He knew Kai was half joking, but it was still a silly thing to say.

"I'm sure that's not it. Besides, you're half black. You've said so yourself."

After dropping off the batch of carrots that he picked, Jack started walking to the Inn. He noticed the leaves were getting even darker. It wouldn't be long until they were all gone, leaving naked, ugly trees behind.

"Hey Ann, can I get a turkey and cheese sandwich?" he asked as he reached the bar.

"Sure thing, coming up," she replied. Cliff sat down next to Jack and stretched.

"So Jack," he started, "is it true what they're saying about you?"

"Wait, who's saying what about me?"

"You know, you and Elli," Cliff said with a sly smile. "Don't play dumb."

"I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," Jack answered. _Shit, how does he know? Kai you motherfu- no, that can't be it. I just told Kai. There's no way he could have told somebody else already. Who else knows then? And how? There's no way Elli would have said anything._

"Here's your sandwich," Ann sang as she placed the food in front of Jack, who barely noticed, since his mind was wrapped up in thought. "So Jack," she said as she leaned over the counter, placing her elbows on the bar and her head in her hands. "You going to tell us about your night with Elli?"

"What's there to tell? We went and watched the moon. No big deal. Even you said so."

"No, not the moon Jack. Word is that you two went back to her place and… well, I think you can fill in the gaps," she winked.

Jack was horrified. How was it possible that they knew this already? "How the hell do you all know this!"

"So it's true!" Ann gasped. "Oh my goddess, you are such a bad boy Jack, taking advantage of poor little Elli like that," Ann giggled. Cliff joined in, only to be shushed by Jack.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" he whispered in a harsh voice so nobody else in the inn would hear. "First of all, it was her idea, not mine! And second-"  
>"Her idea? Yeah right," Cliff said. "I don't believe you."<br>"Second of all," Jack continued in a stern voice, "we didn't do what you think we did."

The laughter stopped.

"So, what _did_ you do?" Ann asked.

"We just slept. Jesus, don't people just sleep anymore?"

Ann and Cliff just looked at him. The sober truth of the rumor wasn't that exciting to them. It was Ann who broke the silence.

"Aw, that's really cute actually."

"Sure, cute," Cliff scoffed. "You didn't try for anything more, bro?"  
>"It's Elli, would you?" Jack asked. "I was lucky she was willing to go this far with me already. But back to the present. Who told you guys?"<p>

"Well, I heard it from Cliff," Ann said. "Who did you hear it from?" she asked her boyfriend.

"Manna. She was telling everybody," Cliff stated. Jack felt all the blood drain from his face. If Manna knew, everybody probably knew by now. But how did she figure it out? Then, it hit him.

"Anna…" he grumbled. "Anna saw me leaving the clinic this morning and she probably jumped to the assumption that… Damn it!" He angrily took a bite of his sandwich and kept grumbling. "Now everybody probably knows. What am I going to tell Elli?

"You could tell her the truth," Ann suggested.

"Yeah… I just hope that works. In the mean time, I just hope all of the gossip dies down fast. Seriously, this isn't a small town anymore. Why do people care about what we do behind closed doors?"  
>"Hey Jack!" chimed in Karen's voice as she came up behind the trio. "Is it true what Manna is saying? That you and Elli are planning to elope?" Jack just glared at her. The rumor had already began to mutate.<p>

* * *

><p>A rooster crowed, waking Jack up at 5:30 in the morning. <em>Stupid bird. It's not even light yet. I know what I'm eating for dinner tonight. <em>He was about to rearrange his body, but he stopped himself when he noticed Elli's arm was draped over his chest. He didn't want to disturb her.

When she came over the night before, they had a discussion about all the rumors that were flying about town. Jack explained how Manna found out, and Elli believed him, since the act of spreading gossip in Mineral Town wasn't all that hard to believe. Since they didn't want to go out to dinner and deal with all the whispers, the two made dinner at Jack's before Elli spent the night again. All things considered, everything worked out pretty well between them, no matter what the gossipers thought.

"You awake?" Elli murmured to him, her eyes still shut.

"Yeah," Jack replied. "How can you tell?"

"You breath differently when you're asleep," she replied as she pulled herself closer to him. "You seem a lot more relaxed when you're unconscious."  
>"I would imagine," Jack chuckled. He looked over at the sleepy girl. She was wearing one of his old shirts since she didn't bring a nightgown with her. "So, are you sure this is okay with you?" Jack asked.<p>

"Yes, I don't care what they think about us," she said, "especially if it's all lies. Who do I have to prove myself to anyway?"

"Well if it doesn't bother you…"

"It does a little bit, but I can take it."

"Yeah… me too," he whispered. He was about to kiss her forehead when he heard a knock on the front door. "God damn it! Who the hell comes over at five in the freaking morning!" He turned back to Elli. "I'll be back in a minute." He stood up and left his bedroom and headed to the door. _This better be an emergency, so help me God. _He opened the door to find Mayor Thomas, already dressed in his everyday attire.

"Good morning, Jack," he greeted in an uncharacteristically grave voice.

"Good morning Mister Mayor," Jack replied through his teeth, holding back all of his rage. He liked Mayor Thomas, but it was too early in the morning to be pleasant to anybody. "Is something wrong?"  
>"No…, not yet," the Mayor replied. "Jack, how quickly can you mobilize all of the men on your farm?"<p>

"Mobi-what?" Jack asked.

"I mean, let's just say we were under a massive attack. How quickly could every man be down on the beach with a weapon of some sort?"

"Um… I don't know… ten, fifteen minutes maybe. Why? What's going on? Why are you waking me up this early to ask me these questions?"

"Well, there's sort of a situation," the Mayor replied nervously.

"What sort of situation?" Jack asked. Why wouldn't Thomas just tell him?

"Umm… I don't really know yet. I'll wake your men. You get your weapons and head down to the beach to see for yourself." As the mayor walked over towards the worker housing, Jack was left in a pool of his own confusion. Something was definitely up, and whatever it was, it didn't sound pretty in the slightest.

* * *

><p><strong>I feel like a writer for ABC now, because I just left a big ass cliffhanger right there.<strong>

**Warning! I am about to discuss my frustrations with Vaughn. If you are a Vaughn fan, please do not take offense, because I have absolutely no problem with Vaughn. Just the sheer amount of stories he has written about him for whatever reason. If you will take offense, just skip to the chapter.**

_I've played one of the games with Vaughn in it, and I don't really see what's so great about him. All I know about him is that __**he's a real recluse **__animal shipper in the game._

**That's probably it. Throw in the silver hair, and you got the fan favorite.**

_Ohoho, I WISH Vaughn were the only one... Chase, Gill, Gray, Cliff (although not as much as before,) Skye, Wizard. Those are the big ones, I think. It's getting ridiculous._

**You forgot Luke. I see a hellava lot of Luke. But yeah, I've been gone from the community for awhile, and I come back to see that roughly 1/20th of the stories in the archive are about Vaughn and Chelsea, and I was all "What the hell is a Vaughn?" I have no problem with Vaughn, but don't people get tired of the massive Vaughn over saturation?**

**Meanwhile, I see there aren't that many stories about Calvin, and I'm thinking "why the hell not?" He looks like Indiana Fucking Jones! Harrison Ford is one of the manliest people of all time. He's up there with Batman and Shawn Michaels. This is madness!**

**Okay, rant over now. I'm sorry if I offended anybody (lol). Review and peace out.**


	14. Chapter Twelve: Prisoners of Custom

**Question about this site's rules: First, are we allowed to use lyrics of copyrighted music in our works, so long as we make the disclaimer that we do not own said music? Second, are we allowed to write chapters that are individually rated M? Like, am I allowed to make the disclaimer before a certain chapter, saying that it's rated M, even though the rest of the story is T? If you can answer these questions, add the answers at the end of your reviews, or private message me. Much appreciated.**

* * *

><p><em>His childhood bedroom smelled of cigarette smoke, sweat, other bodily fluids, and her. He was leaning against the backboard of his bed with her head was resting on his chest. Smoke was drifting up from the ashtray that was sitting on the adjacent nightstand, where he had discarded his last smoked cigarette. She hated how he always smoked them after sex, but that's when they tasted the best. As the seconds passed, he began to drift into the dream world, and he took a quick whiff of her hair. It smelled of peach shampoo.<em>

_ "I don't want you to leave," Kassie murmured._

_ "It's kind of too late to be telling me that now, don't you think?" Jack chuckled in response. "Besides, you said I should go for it."  
>"Yeah, I know. But I didn't realize how long it's going to take you to get that farm running again. What did you say? That it would take you two years to get it to a point worth selling?"<em>

_ "Two years. Two and a half if things don't work out as well as I hope they do." He ran his fingers through her silky blonde hair. "It'll be over before you know it."_

_ "Two and a half years is a long time," she reminded him. "I'm going to miss you Jack. I'm going to miss you a lot." She ran her left hand down his chest and abdominal region. "Still, I think it's really cute that you want to follow Mr. Redd's request after pen paling with him for all these years."_

_ "Yeah, well I'm just a saint like that," Jack responded before kissing his girlfriend on the forehead. Her skin felt softer than usual, but maybe that was because he knew he wouldn't be able to feel it for a long time. When he was finished, he looked around the room, which was covered in posters of sports heroes and movies. Out of all the places that Kassie and him had slept with each other at, his bedroom in his old house was the weirdest. It felt as though his mother or father would walk in at any time. He was just happy that this was only a one night deal before he hopped on the plane the next morning._

_ As the seconds branched into minutes, Jack noticed that something seemed incredibly off with Kassie, as her eyes looked glossed over. "You okay?" he asked._

_ "Yes, I'm just…" she closed her eyes and smiled, but as her eyes shut, a few tears escaped from her eyelids and rolled down her cheeks. "Nothing, you'll think it's stupid."  
>"Then you might as well tell me," Jack persisted. "We can always use a good laugh."<em>

_ "Fine, fine," she said. "I just… I keep getting this strange feeling that I'm never going to see you again after tonight."_

_ Jack laughed. "That IS stupid," he agreed. "Why would you think that? I've been in Mineral Town before and that place is the sticks. Why the hell would I want to stay in Ferngully? I have so much back here. Especially…" he grabbed her hand and squeezed it._

_ "I don't know why I keep thinking that," she replied. "I just thought… you know, maybe you meet some pretty country girl out there and you decide never to come home."_

_ This got Jack to burst into laughter again. "Why the hell would I leave everything for some country broad? I can't imagine any of those women are as crazy and messed up as you." He stopped so he could kiss Kassie again, this time on the lips. "Look, maybe you can come visit me sometime. And if you can't, I'll try to send you emails and call you on the phone… damn, they might not have internet there. I'll write if I have to, and you know how much I hate writing. But I won't be gone forever. It's not as though they're going to hold me prisoner in some strange island cult ritual." _

_ "Okay, I believe you," she said. She squeezed him tightly for a minute or so before looking at him with those devilishly beautiful eyes. They were almost hypnotizing._

_ "You want to go for another round?" he asked. "It's gonna be awhile."_

_ "No… not right now," she yawned. "I'm so sleepy. Wake me up in an hour or so, and maybe I'll say yes." Was she teasing him?_

_ "Okay. I love you Kassie." She mumbled something back to him that sounded like "I love you too" before falling asleep. Jack yawned, but couldn't fall asleep. He was too anxious about the journey he would start in the morning. The journey that would save him from physical death, only to send his mentality to its tomb._

**Chapter Twelve: Prisoners of Custom**

_Date: October 14__th__ 2011, Friday, 6:05 AM_

The area around the wall was already swarming with men (and a few women) already armed with their weapons. Jack was arriving with his usual weaponry, but found it impossible to make his way to the structure with the mass of humanity blocking the way.

"Jack! Oh good, you're here!" Zack shouted from the wall, which was also filled with guards. "Get up here and take a look!"  
>"Okay, okay," Jack replied. " 'Scuse me, pardon me, boss's orders." After a minute of pushing his way through the mumbling guards, he made it to the wall, only to find that walking on the wall was just as difficult with all the people squeezed in on it. He finally found a gap to look through, but nearly dropped his gun in shock at what he saw. A huge ship was settled in the ocean, not even a half mile away from shore. It looked like a battleship with huge guns and everything attached. It was many times larger than the smaller ship that crashed into the beach awhile back.<p>

"What do you make of that?" Zack asked Jack, anxiety filling his voice.

"It's an American Navy ship," Jack stated as he noticed the American flag flying from the top. "The weird thing is, the U.S. Navy stopped using battleships awhile ago, so this is… this is straight up odd."

"So why are they using it now?" Karen asked. Jack turned his head to see that she was standing behind him, rifle in hand.

"I don't know…" Jack responded as he started to get a close up look at the ship by using the scope on his sniper rifle. "There's a chance that they're using it again for traveling. If they're trying to travel, it might be safer than by plane since they don't have to land anywhere, and it's easier to destroy enemy boats with a battleship." He took a bite of the apple he had brought with him for breakfast and shook his head. "Then again, how do they even have enough fuel for that thing?"

"So, do you think it's the American military or government?" Zack questioned.

"I would assume so. I doubt raiders would have the organizational skills to run a ship like that unless they were formerly in the navy. That, and if they were raiders, they could have blown us to smithereens by now." He turned to Zack. "What's the plan right now?"

Zack sighed and shook his head. "We're at a stalemate. Obviously, if they are raiders and they were to attack us, we can't attack that boat with our weapons, and we wouldn't be able to infiltrate their ship. That, and the guns alone on that thing could tear the walls down in a matter of seconds." He put a firm hand on Jack's shoulder and looked him dead in the eye. "I hope they are the U.S. Navy and not raiders, because if they aren't, we're all dead." Jack looked back at the ship in horror. What if they were raiders? How could they even get their hands on such a rare ship? He went back to scoping the ship to see if he could see anybody on the deck. It was empty. They were playing it safe.

"Hey boss, there's another little boat in the water!" one of the guards shouted.

"Everybody lock and load! If they attack us, we will not go down without a fight!" Zack shouted. "However, if the mains ship opens fire, get off the wall!" Jack focused in on the men in the boat as they approached the shore, and noticed that there were fourteen of them in the dingy. Three were wearing suits, and the rest of the men were wearing military uniforms and holding large guns.

"Hey Zack, some of those guys are in suits. I don't think they want to attack us," Jack told the captain of the wall guards.

"Even so, I can't take any chances." He turned on his megaphone, ready to make communication with the strangers.

"Attention islanders! We come in peace!" blared a voice from the boat. Everybody who didn't have a good view of the men flinched at the sound since Zack was typically the only guy with a megaphone.

"Who are you and why have you come here!" Zack shouted back through his megaphone.

"We represent the American government, and we wish to have a discussion with the leader of this community! But this is not the place for negotiations! Let us come ashore so we can have a proper discussion!"

"Very well!" Zack replied. "Bring your boat into our dock and don't make any sudden moves." He switched off the megaphone and turned to the guards. "Keep your aim on them at all times. I need fifteen people to come with me to intercept these arrivals. Any volunteers?"

Fifteen guards joined Zack at the wall's iron gate and followed him out to the dock, Jack and Karen being among them. As the guards clustered in on the dock, Jack switched to his rifle, which was better for taking a short distance aim. Time seemed to come to a complete halt as the boat approached. The soldiers on the boat had their guns pointed at the islanders on the dock and those on the wall. Even though they were outnumbered right now, there was still the threat of the men on the boat, making the atmosphere even more tense.

"Drop your weapons and put your hands in the air," Zack demanded. "For security reasons, we need to do a pat down and bind your hands."  
>"You will do no such thing," one of the suited men said sternly. "In case you are trying to keep us prisoner, we would like our hands to remain free. We just want to meet with this town's leaders for a discussion."<br>"You are in no position to negotiate the terms of your stay," Zack shot back, rage flaring in his eyes. "We have men everywhere and they're all armed."

"As do we," the suited man replied in a calm voice. He then held up his wrist which had a bracelet like thing on it. "See this? All of us are wearing one. If we sense any trouble whatsoever, we can press the button on this device and send out an emergency signal to our ship. We have over one hundred armed men on board, and we have large weaponry on the ship itself. Trust me, we don't want innocent lives to be harmed. So allow us to enter as we are. You may keep armed guards around us, but any threatening act will be taken seriously."

Zack looked like he wanted to shout at the men, but he knew he didn't have the upper hand in this situation. "Very well. Follow me." As the strangers came onto the dock, the wall guards surrounded the foreign group and began to walk them into town, guns pointed. Jack's heart was beating fast. He had no idea what these men wanted to discuss with the mayor, but he felt that the winds of change could be blowing strong in the near future.

* * *

><p>Xander Hawkins. That was the name of the leader of the men who had arrived on the ship. After checking his identification, the mayor came to the conclusion that this man was a legitimate American government agent and ambassador. But why was he here? That was the question of the hour. Currently, he was having a private conversation with Mayor Thomas and Officer Harris in the mayor's office. All of Xander's guards and his two other suited associates were standing near the door, waiting for anything suspicious to happen. They remained silent, not answering any questions about why they were there. In their own words, it was because they were not authorized to do so. Earlier in the day, the suited men were escorted around the town, making observations about the society for whatever reason.<p>

"What do you think they're talking about?" Karen asked Jack. The two of them were chosen for being on guard near the room with nearly ten other men. They had been standing outside of the room for several hours now with no change in the situation.

"I don't know," Jack replied blankly. "It's the United States government. Maybe they want to help us?" He let out a sigh. "Or exploit us. I don't know."

"Exploit us?" Karen inquired. "What do you mean?"  
>"Who knows? Maybe I'm formulating a conspiracy theory. All I know is that America is probably struggling and they may want to use our resources, or what little we have."<p>

"You really think that's why they're here?" Karen asked.

"I told you, I don't know," Jack groaned. "I just hope we get some answers soon." The two continued to chat amongst themselves for awhile. They only stopped when Elli arrived with a thermos.

"So do you know what's going on yet?" Elli asked Jack in a nervous whisper. He shook his head.

"I wish I knew," he responded. "They've been awfully quiet so far. By the way, I'm sorry they dragged me out of the house so early this morning. You know I didn't want to go."  
>"I know," she said with a pretty grin. "I also know you didn't have breakfast this morning, so I made you some tea." She handed him the thermos. "I hope you like it."<p>

He took a sip and smiled. "Tastes like orange grass," he said. "Thanks babe."

"You're welcome." She kissed him and then left for the clinic. It didn't take long for Jack to notice that Karen was giving him a devious look.

"What?"  
>"Oh nothing," she said, her teeth sparkling in her smile. "I just picked up on the fact that you spent another night with her. You two seem to be coming along quite nicely."<p>

"Yeah, you could say that," Jack agreed. Karen began to press him for details about the night before, but he barely said anything because he wanted to keep Elli's and his private life private. It didn't help that there were all sorts of rumors flying around about them, so he had to do what he could to keep it that way. After nearly a half hour of dodging Karen's questions, a the mayor popped out of his office and motioned for the other two suited men to join him in the room.

"Jack, I would also like you to join us as well. Harris needs to get back to his duties, so I need you in here," Thomas demanded.

"Wait, what? Why?" Jack asked. The mayor came up to him and stood on the tips of his toes so he could whisper into Jack's ear.

"Because, you're good at reading people. Harris and I think these guys are clean, but I need more observation. Will you help me?"  
>"Yes sir," Jack answered. He knew he should be excited since he was about to learn interesting information on why the Americans were in Mineral Town, but at the same time, he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach about the whole situation. Grudgingly, he gave Karen and the others a wave goodbye as he passed Harris and entered the mayor's office.<p>

The room was covered with bookshelves and old paintings. The three suited men sat in chairs from across the desk, all of them looking quite comfortable where they were sitting. The initial fear of being killed had died down. The mayor took his seat in his big chair while Jack sat in a smaller chair next to him. An ominous silence filled the room before Xander broke it.

"Ah, I don't believe we've been properly introduced," the silver haired man began. He was a handsome man of about fifty or so, but despite his calmness, his voice was firm. "My name is Xander Hawkins, United States Ambassador of Foreign Aid. And who might you be?"

"Jack. Jack Slater," he replied. The two men shook hands.

"Jack is in charge of the main farm in this section of the island," the Mayor said to Xander. "His work is the primary reason why we have been able to survive. He's also from America."  
>"Really now?" Xander said with interest. "Where in America are you from?"<p>

"New York, New York. I lived there until 2007," Jack told him. "I came here to take over the farm of a friend of mine."

"New York, huh? I had a few relatives that lived in Queens before doomsday. It's a shame what happened to New York. I always loved that city."  
>"Yeah…" Cody said glumly. "Um… Mr. Xander, sir, if you don't mind me asking… what's the current state of America?"<p>

"Well, how much do you know?"

"Very little," Jack admitted. "We have a lot of American castaways here, but none of them really knew a whole lot. We only get second hand information on the radio station from Poter City and occasionally the internet, so we don't know what's reliable."

"Ah yes, Poter City. They wouldn't allow us to enter. Too bad, we really wanted to help them," Xander said solemnly before returning to the subject at hand. "To answer your question, it's pretty bad. Most of the east and west coast has been destroyed, and not just by nukes. The remaining cities were destroyed by chaos, riots, lawless ruffians… Most of the farm belt is intact, but still fragile. Radiation and overpopulation has become a problem. We barely have enough food to feed everybody. We have an alliance with Canada to stabilize ourselves, but it hasn't helped us much. They really are our only real tie now between countries since Mexico is currently in a civil war, and many other countries have cut their diplomatic ties ever since the nukes. Some haven't, but they're still too far away for us to effectively work with. The world has fallen into mistrust." He paused a moment to recollect his composure. He still seemed really upset about his country's deterioration. "Our military is strained, trying to stop crimes that happen in our country. Ruffian attacks are still frequent. There are many people who are just living chaotically."

"That's… that's awful," Jack said.

"Even so, we continue to survive," Xander proclaimed. "We're building factories and farms everyday so we can become whole again. Our remaining scientists are working around the clock in order to find ways to quickly reduce radiation. Someday, America will reach her former glory."

"And the rest of the world?" Jack asked.

"It varies," Xander answered. "Most of the middle east and Europe has been reduced to nothing. There are still some places in Africa, Australia, and South America that are still untouched, but every continent has taken some damage. Unfortunately, we still don't know the extent of the destruction."

"Okay then…" Cody replied. The overall news was not optimistic, but it was what he wanted to know. "So, would you be able to tell me what you and Mayor Thomas were discussing?"

"I can," Mayor Thomas interrupted, not wanting to have his voice lost from the discussion. "I gave him a brief history of this town and this island and told him about our current state of society and government, as well as our relationship with the towns of Forget-Me-Not Valley and South Flowers."

"Yes, you have a very colorful culture, I'll give you that," Xander admitted. "It's so nice to see people trying to thrive rather than live in chaos and despair. Your people have saved many lives."

"But do tell me," Jack started, "why are you here Mr. Xander?"  
>"Oh yes, I almost forgot," he began, clearing his throat. "The current president, John McCain, made the announcement that in order to help restore America, we should lend a hand in restoring the world as well. It was a controversial issue, given our struggles, but the many of the American people agreed, as did congress. For the past year, we've been touring the world in that old ship, lending a hand to those who accept it. We distribute food, medical supplies, clothes, factory goods, and so on. We also give our recipients a satellite radio that they can use to communicate with us if needed. Should you accept our help, we can continue to give you aid for years to come."<br>_Wow, this actually sounds good. I never expected them to help us like this._ "That sounds great, doesn't it Mr. Mayor?" Jack was bewildered though when Thomas gave him an angry look. _What's his problem?_

"Xander, a word?" the suited man on Xander's right asked.

"Yes, what is it Clyde?"

"Actually sir, it's for the Mayor or Jack, whichever one of them wants to answer."

"Okay then, shoot," Jack said. He got another look of disdain from the mayor. Was he being too unprofessional?

"When we were observing this town, we noticed that everything here seems… well, perfect. The plants are growing, the animals look healthy, as do the people, the sky isn't covered in fallout, and there doesn't seem to be any radiation anywhere. Everywhere we've gone so far seems to have at least one of those problems, however your location doesn't seem to have any of those problems. Is your water drinkable?"

"Yes, it is, why?" the mayor asked.

"I… no we…" Clyde restated. "We want to know how it's possible that everything is so clean. Can you explain that to us?"  
>"Well…" Jack began, "we could, but I don't think you'd believe us if we- OW!" The Mayor had kicked Jack in the shin while he was talking.<p>

"Jack, your theory about wind patterns is stupid," Mayor Thomas cut in. "Wind patterns wouldn't be enough to sufficiently protect this island from radiation and fallout."

"But I-"

"He's right, Jack," Xander said, agreeing with the mayor. "I doubt wind patterns would have _that_ much effect. There must be something else that keeps this island clean." He turned to the mayor again. "And you have absolutely no idea what might be protecting this island?"  
>"Not one good theory," the mayor said, sounding very sure of himself.<p>

_Why is he lying to them? Sure, a lot of people wouldn't believe that some goddess is protecting the island, but that's no reason to lie to them. _Jack was confused, but he said nothing. Maybe the mayor knew something he didn't know?  
>"Well," Xander began once more, "for whatever the reason your island seems untouched by nuclear residue, you are all extremely lucky. How many people were living on this island before doomsday?"<br>"I couldn't give you the exact number," Thomas admitted, "but I would say about… less than one hundred and more than seventy."

"And now?" Xander asked.

"Well, I don't know the figures for the other towns or the utility station, but I do know that the population of Mineral Town has increased tenfold. I think we have roughly two hundred people or so living in this community now, give or take. I could pull up the actual number if you wanted it."

"I would like that very much, Mayor Thomas," Xander said. "Part of our job is to keep information on the small societies we pass, so that helps us a lot. But tell me, with this massive increase of people on your island, are you facing any strains as far as housing, clothing, and feeding these newcomers?"

"Well, though we are able to make more food with more people, we are currently under an agricultural strain," the mayor answered. "If we ever get to a point of true stabilization in our future, we may put a limit on the number of children a family can have in order to keep our population at a steady level."  
>"Wait, when have you ever said that?" Jack demanded, raising his voice at the obvious lie the mayor had just said.<p>

"Jack, you're embarrassing me," Thomas grunted.

"No, seriously, I've been going to those Saturday meetings everyday for three years, and I've never heard you say that or anything like that."  
>"That's because we haven't reached a point in which we need to control how many children-"<br>"And second," Jack continued, "we aren't under an agricultural strain. We have all that food in cold storage and our productivity has been on the rise each year since the- OW!" Mayor Thomas had kicked him in the shins again.

"Hehe, please excuse Jack here," the mayor chuckled. "He has no idea what he's talking about." This last line had obvious anger mixed in with it. "Even with our high productivity, we have to take into consideration the island's population growth. The only thing we are running out of are some factory made supplies. It's very difficult to make pipes or plastic products, you know."

"So I assume you wouldn't want to take in any refugees that we may find who need a safe haven?" Xander asked.

"We don't turn anybody down," the mayor stated. "However, we wouldn't be able to accept any extra people that you may find. It could become very cumbersome to our way of life."

_What the hell is he even talking about? _Jack couldn't believe what the mayor was saying.

"Okay then…" Xander pondered. "Would you be more willing to that proposition if we were to take people from this island who wanted to go with us? We could find them safe places, and it would offer people the opportunity to leave if they needed. Who knows? Some of these stranded souls may have families still in America. Even though I doubt many people would want to leave this little slice of Eden, you could always give them the option and-"

"I don't think that's a good idea either," Thomas interrupted. "Everybody on this island has a purpose, so allowing people to leave could interrupt the balance in our society. I do not think it would be wise on our part to allow long term members of this town to up and leave."

An air of quiet engulfed the room. The suited men obviously thought that the mayor's answer was ridiculous, but they said nothing. This wasn't their culture to comment on. But Jack had had enough.

"Thomas, who the hell is supplying you with crack?" he questioned angrily.

"Now Jack…" the mayor said in a calm, yet strained voice. "Now isn't the ti-"

"Now is the perfect time!" Jack shouted. "Suddenly we're never allowed to leave? This is new! Where are we, East Berlin?"

"Jack, you may not understand the delicate economy that our town runs on, but I do!" the mayor stated. "I only want what's best for this town."

"Oh okay then. Are we going to accept aid from them then?" Jack asked. "At least have enough sense to say yes to that!"

"Umm…" the mayor stammered. He looked at the suited men, and then back at Jack. The happy go lucky mayor that Jack had always known seemed to be a thing of the past. "Xander," the mayor finally said, "the council needs to meet on these issues. We'll bring you a conclusion as soon as we can."

* * *

><p>"And that's pretty much it." The mayor had just retold everything that Xander had said, and the entire council was whispering amongst themselves. Their whole way of life had been shaken to the core. "If any of you have any concerns, now is the time to voice them."<p>

"I have one," Cater said. "Why did you lie to them about the goddess protecting us?"

"Because they wouldn't believe us, and if they did for some reason, it's best that they don't know."  
>"Why?" Jack asked. "Don't you think they might get a little suspicious since this island is protected? Shouldn't we have just given them the best answer we could find?"<br>"Jack, I care about this island," the mayor said sternly. "If they were to learn about how this island has a 'supernatural' protection, who knows what they would do. They could send scientists here who would conduct experiments and destroy our way of life. I will not put our town at any more risk than it has to be."

"No offense Mr. Mayor, but that sounds pretty farfetched," Jack stated. "Besides, if we don't tell them, they could do all of that 'experimentation' to find out why the island is protected anyway. In your crazy world, it's a lose lose situation so I don't see why we just tell them the truth."  
>"Actually, I see the Mayor's point on this," Zack said solemnly. "If they did know of the protection on this island, they could try to take advantage of it for whatever reason and essentially take control over us. Not telling them seems like the better of two evils."<br>"Right," Mayor Thomas added. Most of the council nodded in agreement. "We need to protect this blessing for those who live here."  
>"And yet we won't extend that blessing to those who the navy bring to us?" Jack questioned.<p>

"Don't interrupt Jack!" the mayor scolded. "I'm running this meeting!"

"You told us to voice our concerns, and this is one of mine!" Jack shot back. "You said that you don't think we should take in outcasts that the navy brings us? Why? It's no different than taking in castaways that arrive here. Why make that exception?"

"Because they could flood us with new and possibly dangerous people!" the mayor answered in a shout. "I will not allow it! Our population is now growing at a comfortable rate, and we don't need that balance toppled."

"I completely disagree," Carter said. "The goddess gave us a gift that saved our lives. This is a gift that we should share with others like how she shared it with us. Not doing so would be incredibly selfish." Some people agreed with Carter, evident by their facial expressions.

"I still think it's a dangerous-"  
>"Then why don't we let people leave!" Jack shouted in frustration. "None of it makes any sense!"<p>

"Jack, what if half the town decided to up and leave?" the mayor asked. "Do you realize how dangerous that could be for us with all of those people suddenly gone? We'd have positions needed refilling on such a short notice and-"  
>"So? You know how you fix that? If people want to leave, we don't allow them to do so right away. Make it happen over time rather than all at once, you know?"<br>"Again, I agree with Jack," Carter said. "If people do not want to stay on this island for whatever reason, who are we to tell them no? This shouldn't be a prison, it should be a-"  
>"You are such a hypocrite!" Duke yelled in rage. "First you call this island a gift and a blessing, and then you say that people should be allowed to leave if they choose. Why would anybody want to leave this place when the world is a shit hole?"<br>"Maybe Jack can answer that question," Anna suggested in an antagonizing voice. Jack felt himself shudder at being put on the spot.

"I'm sorry, what?"  
>"Don't play dumb, we all know you were planning on selling the farm and leaving until the strikes occurred. How do we know that this bias you have isn't just for selfish reasons?"<p>

"What, no! Of course not!" Jack retorted. "I have no intentions of leaving. I understand I'm needed here. I'm just saying that a lot of castaways here are Americans, and now that America is trying to restore itself, maybe they'd want the option to go home. Maybe they'd want to try and find remaining family members or friends. Nobody wants to be held like a prisoner, even in a safe and beautiful location, wouldn't you agree?" Nobody answered. The mayor looked like he wanted to say something, but something was holding him back. "Unless there's something else that you or anybody else isn't telling me."  
>"There is," Mayor Thomas answered in a bitter voice. "However, for some reason, I figured you'd understand. But maybe you don't, not being from here and all. That also applies to you, Tammy."<p>

"What? I didn't say anything," Tammy replied meekly.

"Then consider this a history lesson." The mayor took a deep breath and continued. "Jack, many people have family roots going back centuries on this island. Mine goes beyond the first millennia A.D. Despite being an isolated population, we are proud of our heritage, and we are to this day. Someday, my son will have children of his own, and they will continue our bloodline. Do you understand what I'm saying, Jack?"

"Maybe… this is a legacy thing, isn't it?" he asked.

Mayor Thomas nodded. "In our society, it has always been a shameful thing for one to leave this island forever if one was born here. It's seen as denying one's heritage. Surely you must understand why we can't let people leave. If our own blood were to leave, or if enough people left that it left the rest of us vulnerable so that we are wiped out… that would truly be awful."

It all made sense now. Jack began putting the pieces together and realized that this custom was most likely the reason that Aja and Joanna (Duke and Barley's daughters, respectively) were never mentioned out of taboo. By leaving the island forever, they had brought shame to their families and themselves. Yet despite the importance of custom, the whole concept disgusted Jack.

"Mr. Mayor… with all do respect…that's a stupidly archaic argument."

"How dare you!" the mayor shouted. Many people grumbled angrily at Jack's words, but Thomas seemed to be the most pissed. "How dare you insult our customs!"  
>"Look, I know I may not be the one to say your traditions are wrong, but custom is not important anymore! Surviving is! You don't need to force people to stay against their will! Don't you think things may backfire when people realize that they can't leave?"<br>"And what Jack?" the Mayor shouted back. "Do you want our population to drop down to less than thirty again? Do you want us to resort to inbreeding!"

"Ew, no, I'm saying that it's an incredibly selfish reason to keep people here for that reason. Legacy really doesn't mean anything anymore."

"I agree with Jack," Gotz joined in. "It seems like a silly old custom that doesn't need to be enforced any longer."

"Oh please," Anna scoffed. "You're just saying that because what little was left of your legacy is dead."  
>The room fell completely silent as Anna had pressed Gotz's wrong button. He just stared at her for a moment, fuming with anger before saying "you bitch." He suddenly stood up and charged at where Anna was sitting.<p>

"Somebody grab him!" Thomas screeched.

It took Jack, Zack, and Saibara to hold Gotz back as he kept screaming "I'm going to kill her! I'm going to kill her!" After several minutes of restraining Gotz, he finally fell to his knees in exhaustion and despair. The room was filled with commotion and chatter, as everybody was out of their seats and chattering frantically. The mayor finally silenced them before continuing.

"Meeting adjourned for the night," he announced. "We all need some time to think about the issues. Tomorrow, we'll be meeting with the council's of Forget-Me-Not Valley and South Flowers in order to make our final decisions on how we will handle the situation of the visiting navy and their offers to us. Zack, please escort Gots back to his house. See that he causes no problems."

Jack shook his head in loss at these words. Most people on the island thought like the mayor did in regards to island customs and thinking. In all likelihood, they would turn down the navy's offers, which in Jack's mind, made their Garden of Eden seem more like Alcatraz.

* * *

><p><strong>Meh, very dialogue based chapter. Hope nobody got bored with this.<strong>

** So I got a used copy of Harvest Moon: Animal Parade, and I have to make a hard decision: Candace or Selena? I married Luna in ToT (favorite bachelorette in that series,) so now I have another choice to make between the awkward emo girl and the hottie. They both have their pros and cons: Selena is fun, and actually pretty nice once the character befriends her, but Candace is adorably awkward. Hmm… Meh, too bad that game doesn't allow polygamy :P.**

**Review! Until next time…**


	15. Chapter Thirteen: Old Habits

**Mother of God… I just found out that Arnold Schwarzenegger played a character named Jack Slater in the movie "Last Action Hero." Good lord, what have a done? I accidentally named my protagonist after a part played by a terrible actor. What the hell! I feel as though I doomed my story…**

**Okay, moving on… slowly…**

* * *

><p><em>"Okay, here we are… I'm sorry I have to leave a guard here. Safety reasons and all," Zack explained. The two of them were standing in the front room of Gotz's house. One of Zack's guards had been taken off wall duty to stand guard over Gotz for the evening after that death threat he made towards Anna. He figured it be okay if the wall was short a guard, given that a giant ship with loaded guns was currently in the harbor.<em>

_ "No, no, I get it," Gotz groaned, defeated. "It's not your fault, it's mine."_

_ "Yes, well…" Zack stammered, looking for the right thing to say, "If it's any consolation, I know what it feels like not to have a legacy. I never met the right woman… well, I did, but it was too late, and I never had any ki-."_

_ "You don't know how I feel!" Gotz shouted. Zack backed up defensively, but he had nothing to fear. As quickly as Gotz had been enraged, he calmed down. The normally gruff man seemed to slump in sadness. "I don't care about a legacy anymore. Jack was right, that's completely pointless, especially now. I don't care about my family name living on. I just cared about my family. Diane… Rena…"  
><em>

_"And Leo?" Zack added. Gotz tried to give him a dirty stare in response to the name he never mentioned, but he was too tired. _

_"After that day on Mother's Hill, my perspective changed. I would rather it have be me than them. I would have leapt off that cliff a thousand times for them. They didn't deserve to die like that. Nobody does… except that bitch."_

_ "Well," Zack started, "I would have wanted to kill her too. What she said was uncalled for, especially after what you went through… You know, it's not too late to have another family if you really wanted-"_

_ "No. Out of the question," Gotz cut in. "Diane is the only woman I could ever love. I never loved another before her, and I'll never love another ever again." His cheeks reddened in the midst of these words. Telling Zack, or anybody for that matter about his personal life was not something he was comfortable with. "I don't know if you would get that."_

_ "I get it more than you would think," Zack replied as Lilia flashed through his mind. He had been in love with her for so many years, but he never did anything about it because she was married to his best friend. Even though Rod was in all likelihood dead now, since he was out looking for that healing flower when the nukes were launched, he still couldn't bring himself to tell her how he felt. He tried to move on from her, but his efforts had failed. For a brief period in time, he had an affair with one of his female guards, but he ended it after a few weeks. It didn't feel right sleeping with her when his mind was on somebody else. It wasn't worth trying to create some legacy if it was built on shallow reasoning._

_ "Yeah, well, whatever the case, if Anna so much as mentions my family again, I will kill her. That goes for anybody else that pisses me off." He immediately regretted saying that, given that Zack was the leader of the guards. "I guess you're gonna report that to the mayor now, huh…"_

_ "Report what?" Zack asked casually. It may have gone against the law, but if Anna were to say something about Gotz's family again, he probably wouldn't feel so inclined to stop him. He hated having to play guard dog all the time for ol' Thomas, especially when in his mind, some people deserved what they had coming. _

_ "Hey, before you go, do you want a shot of whiskey?" Gotz asked. "It's good stuff."_

_ "Aw, what the hell," Zack replied. The two men shared the drink, bonding their friendship over alcohol and their disappointment over the archaic law that was present._

**Chapter Thirteen: Old Habits**

_Date: October 15__th__ 2011, Saturday, 9:10 PM_

After the second day of long drawn out council meetings, Jack was really beginning to miss farm work. Their secondary town council meeting was just as "enjoyable" as the first. After reaching decisions on the course of action to take with the U.S. Navy, the island council of all three towns met next to finalize the decisions for the entire island. Though Jack was not a part of the higher council, it was obvious by their decisions that the members of said council thought the same way as Thomas. The only good thing that came out of their decisions was that the island would accept some supplies from the government, namely medical supplies and factory goods that the island couldn't produce. Thomas was originally against the idea, thinking that they would want to exploit the island in return for the resources, but a majority of the council people believed that it was a risk that they would have to take for the betterment of the island society.

"You're not happy with these edicts, are you?" Dr. Tim asked as he and Jack were walking from the church to the clinic. It was apparent that he was glad to finally be out of the church as well.

"All but the one, yeah," Jack sighed. "Still, I guess it's better than nothing, right?"

"Definitely," Tim agreed. "Thomas may think we're self-sufficient, but we haven't reached that point yet, and I doubt we ever will without consequences."

"Yeah, because herbs can't save you from the pain of surgery," Jack laughed.

"Oh yes, I know _you_ understand that quite well," the doctor replied with a chuckle. It was strange to hear Tim say it like that. The man was always very serious, so even responding to Jack's attempt of comedy with a chuckle was shocking. The two finally arrived at the clinic, and Tim went to take is place behind the desk, relieving the current doctor from his evening duties for the evening. Jack headed for the stairs.

"Jack, I've told you before, you can't go up there without an escort. It's hospital pol-"  
>"Yeah, yeah, hospital policy, I hear you," he interrupted as he headed up the stairs. "I'm just going to Elli's room. Relax!" He shook his head as he reached the second floor. <em>What a dumb rule.<em>

He was disappointed when he got to Elli's room since she wasn't there. "Hey Kim," he asked the young nurse in training who walking down the hall, "do you know where Elli is?" Kim was a young Asian teenager of about sixteen years or so. She was Elli's apprentice, learning from her so she could be a nurse too someday.

"Sorry Jack, she's out somewhere. If I do see her, I'll tell her you're here," she apologized.

"Okay, thanks," Jack said. Kim left and he sat down on Elli's bed. Like usual, the room smelled like flowers from the perfume she was making. He leaned back and glanced over at her nightstand. There was a framed photo of her and her mother when she was a much younger and smiling without a care in the world. Her hair was a lot longer back then, and he wondered what it would be like if she were to grow it to that length now.

"Tim told me you would be here," rang Elli's voice from the doorway. She was still wearing her nurse's gown and her hair was slightly messy. The day must have been hard on her.

"Yeah, well, I figured I'd drop by. Council stuff is awful and I need a break. How about you?"

"It was okay, just busy," Elli sighed. "I'm glad you came by. It's boring when I don't get to see you."

Without another word, Elli joined him on the bed and the two proceeded to make out, skipping the rest of an opening conversation. They were both tired of everything that was happening around them, so it was a win win for both parties to go straight to the good stuff. Eventually, after the two of them were done releasing their sexual tension, Elli began to speak again.

"So, what did the council decide on?" she asked.

"I'm not really allowed to talk about most of it for confidential reasons," he told her. "However, I am allowed to inform you that we are going to receive supplies from that ship before they leave tomorrow, including medical supplies. After that, they'll be returning whenever they pass through the area, and we have a way to radio them if we need to."

"That's wonderful," she exclaimed. "We really need medical supplies. It's so difficult trying to conserve what we have left."

"Yup, just wonderful," he mumbled. He started kissing her neck, but she suddenly did not seemed interested in his advances.

"Something's bothering you," she said. "Can you talk with me about what's on your mind?"

"It's about the meeting, but I'm really not supposed to say anything," he groaned. "Those meetings are supposed to be confidential and I could lose my spot if they knew I was talking about what goes on in those things."

"Well," Elli began in a seductive tone as she moved her body onto Jack's lap, "They'll never have to know if you tell me. I'll be quiet. I promise."  
>"Look, I don't know-"<br>"I'll give you a backrub," she offered.

"… Okay, fine," he gave in. It wasn't the backrub that won him over but the fact that Elli was willing to seduce him in order to get answers. Something about how she seemed all good and pure, yet was willing to take advantage of his horniness really turned him on. As she massaged his back, he told her everything about how they lied to Xander about why nobody on the island would be allowed to leave. Elli was completely taken aback by this information.

"Wow… I can't believe they would not allow people the option to leave…" she said. "Not that I understand why people would want to leave, but then again, I've never left the island."

"Yeah, it's sad," Jack sighed. "I get some of the reasoning, but the older folk are being selfish. Maybe when Thomsd doesn't get elected one year or dies, we-"  
>"Jack, you really shouldn't say that," Elli cut in.<p>

"It's true though. What he's doing isn't right. This place is one big jail cell!" Silence overtook the room. Something was plaguing Elli's mind, but she seemed afraid to say it at first. Finally, she gathered her courage.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"If… if you were allowed to leave, would you?" she asked. He didn't answer the question right away, but he came to his conclusion quickly.

"There was a time long ago when I would have left in a heartbeat," he began in a solemn voice. "But now, I wouldn't. Everything I had back home is gone. My friends, my family, my future, Kass-" he stopped himself from bringing up his first love and continued. "My future is here now. I'm needed here, and I've accepted that. Sure, farming isn't glamorous, but it's honest work. Sure, I have my demons, but I also have a decent amount of money, friends, clean air…" he looked Elli in the eyes. "And you."

"I'm glad then," she murmured. "I'm glad that you can find happiness here."

"I am too," he agreed. "Still, I hope everybody else here can do the same."

_"Quit fooling yourself."_

_ Leave me alone._

"Jack?" Elli said, getting his attention. "You alright?"  
>"Yeah, just the voice," he replied as if it was no big deal. "Look, I'm exhausted. Do you mind if I call it an early night?"<p>

"Sure, that's fine," Elli answered, "so long as you stay here."

"Hey, I'm not one to argue with a good thing," Jack chuckled. He stood up quickly to walk over and turn off the light before lying down next to his girlfriend again.

"You know," Elli whispered, "I like waking up next to you. I feel so secure and everything."

"Then maybe we should make these nights a permanent occurrence?" Jack suggested.

"Oh?" She blushed, though Jack could barely tell she was blushing in the darkness.

"We'll talk about it later," he told her. "I don't want to think about anything tonight." However, as he stared into Elli's eyes, he thought about that one good thing in front of him.

* * *

><p>"It's as though they were never here," Karen groaned as she sipped her tea. It had been five days since the ship left, and for the most part, life had returned to normal, excluding the new supplies, and the whispers about what the council had discussed. Her and Jack were sitting on one of the old sofas in the inn, having lunch.<p>

"Yeah, well, that's how they want it," Jack sighed. "But at least we have real medical supplies now. And light bulbs. I'm telling you, I was almost out of the damn things."  
>"Yeah…" Karen responded. "I just wish something exciting would have happened."<p>

"What? Shooting raiders and screwing Rick aren't enough for you anymore?" Jack teased.

Karen blushed at these vulgar words. "Why are you so mean to me?" she giggled.

"Because if I wasn't, you wouldn't be appreciating this," Jack answered, spreading his arms out to reference the island. "How is Rick anyway? I never talk with the guy."

"Oh, he's just dandy," Karen grumbled.

"Really?" Jack asked skeptically. "You don't sound to dandy about him."

"Yeah, well, it's not his fault. It's mine," she said sadly. "We've been dating for almost five years now, and everything is getting stale."  
>"Well…" Jack pondered, "have you tried different positions?"<p>

"No you moron, I'm talking about everything!" she retorted. "We never have anything to talk about except those goddamn chickens, we never go out anymore because there's nowhere new to go, and we don't…" She stopped suddenly, frustrated as she tried to find the right words. "The romance just seems to be fizzling."

"Um… Have you talked to him about this?" Jack asked.

"No," Karen admitted, "because he doesn't think anything is wrong. It would really hurt him if he learned that I was getting bored with him."  
>"Well, you're going to have to, or things probably won't get better," Jack told her. "Communication is an important part of any rela-"<p>

"What are you, a self-help book?" Karen laughed. "But still, I get what you're saying. I just hope I can do it."

"You'll be fine," he insisted. He leaned back on the sofa and glanced around the room. For the lunch hour, things seemed pretty easy going, with only one of Doug's employees working the bar. Ann was nowhere in sight.

"Where's Ann?" Karen asked, changing the subject.

"I was about to ask you that same question," Jack chucked in response. "I don't know, maybe she's taking a personal day?" Just as he said that, they both saw Ann happily bounce down the stairs, looking even happier than normal. "Speak of the devil."

"Hey guys," Ann chirped as she plopped down between Jack and Karen on the sofa.

"Hey Ann, we were just talking about you," Karen said. "We were wondering where you were."

"Oh, I took the day off and slept in. Cliff and I…" The rest of the sentence she whispered into Karen's ear, resulting in several giggles from both girls. Jack sighed and laid his head on the back cushion of the couch. He wasn't exactly dying to know what Ann was saying, but having secrets being told right in front of his face annoyed him, though he said nothing.

"Well, it sounds like you had a good time," Karen giggled.

"Well that's what happened after he gave me this," Ann said and she pulled a small box out of a pocket on her overalls and opened it, revealing a blue feather.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" Karen squealed. "He proposed to you! That's great!"  
>"Yeah, about damn time too," Ann agreed.<p>

"That's odd," Jack commented. "I said hi to Cliff on my way in here. He didn't say anything about this."  
>"Oh, you know Cliff," Ann shrugged. "He can be really shy sometimes about that sort of thing." Suddenly, Ann's face lit up. "Oh yeah, Jack, he wanted to talk to you about something. You should go talk to him."<p>

"Well, why didn't he tell me when I saw-"  
>"I don't know, but I think he's at work right now. You should go talk to him," she suggested. Jack was beginning to pick up on the hints that she wanted to talk to Karen alone.<p>

"Yeah, I'll do that. I'll see you two around. Congratulations, by the way." He left the Inn and headed towards the winery where Cliff worked. He found his friend picking some apples off of one of the apple trees in the back of the tree grove. Though the winery mostly focused on making wine, they grew other fruits too throughout the year, which proved handy since Jack didn't have a lot of fruit trees on his farm.

"Hey Jack, what's up?" he greeted as he dropped a few more apples into a basket that sat by his feet.

"Oh nothing. I just came by to congratulate you, because a little birdie just told me that you're getting married."

"So Ann told you, huh?" he said. "I was gonna tell people when I got off work, but I guess this saves me the trouble."

"Well, good for you," Jack congratulated again. "So, Ann told me you had something to tell me?"

"Oh yeah," Cliff remembered as he looked away awkwardly. "I was wondering if… you know… you'd be my best man?"  
>"Really? I'd be honored. Thanks Cliff!" Jack answered. He had already been Kai's best man back when the two of them were friends, but getting asked again felt great for some unexplainable reason.<p>

"No, thank you," Cliff said. "I really appreciate this." He looked back at the apple tree he was picking at and let out a satisfied sigh. "I'm gonna take my lunch break now. You wanna stick around?"

"Well, I have to get back to the farm soon, but I'm sure I could spare ten minutes."

The two friends sat back against the back fence of the vineyard where it was shady, and chatted away for some time. It was a nice change of pace hanging out with Cliff, since most of Jack's time was absorbed by Elli and work. However, as the conversation continued, the two realized that the only things they had to talk about were women and their careers.

"So what's up with you and Elli?" Cliff asked.

"Didn't I tell you?" Jack asked. "She's moving in with me."

"Wait, what?" Cliff asked in a surprised voice. "I never heard about this. When did this happen?"

"A few days ago," he told him. "She's only sort of moving in though. Like, she's moved some of her stuff to my place, but right now, she's required to spend a certain amount of nights in the clinic just in case they need her for an emergency. So she's living with me three or four nights of the week… you don't think we're moving too fast, do you?"

"Eh, you might be," Cliff admitted. "But then again, you and Elli are both pretty sensible, so I'm sure you'll be fine. Are Kai and Popuri taking this well?"

"No, not particularly. But what can they do? I own the house and Kai won't pay Gotz to build one for himself and his wife, even though I know I pay him well enough for him to buy one." He sighed and shook his head. "They can deal with it."

"Well, at least you're determined about this," Cliff chuckled.

"Yeah…" Jack agreed. He took a sip from his flask. The stone oil burned the roof of his mouth, but it was so satisfying. "By the way, I gotta ask… why now?"

"Huh?" Cliff asked.

"I mean, you've been dating Ann for quite awhile, but you never really gave any indication that you planned on marrying the girl. This is all pretty sudden, so… Why now?"

"You really want to know?" Cliff asked softly. "It's… it's kind of personal."

"Well, if you don't want to-"

"No, I'll tell you. Just keep it on the down low if you can."

"Sure, my lips are sealed."

"Okay." Cliff did a double take to make sure nobody was around before speaking. "Ever since I ran away from home, I've been traveling from place to place, partly because I never wanted to get caught, but also because I've always had itchy feet, you know?"

"Yeah, but why did that make you-"

"I'm getting there," Cliff continued, interrupting his friend. "Well, obviously, I haven't been making plans on leaving because of the strikes and their side effects, as well as my relationship with Ann, but the reason I never proposed to Ann before now was because I didn't want to completely rule out the option of leaving someday if things didn't work out here."

"Oh, I see. So why did you rule that out now?" Jack questioned curiously.

"Because it's apparent that we'll never be allowed to leave here, even though we now have a place to go," he stated.

"What makes you say that?" Jack asked. Even though he knew Cliff's words to be true, he couldn't reinforce them, since he couldn't discuss council matters with non-council members. However, he was curious about how Cliff came to this conclusion.

"Think about it. Before those Navy guys left, all that was announced was that we'd be receiving supplies from them. That's nice and all, but it seems like the mayor is trying to keep the whole thing hushed otherwise for some reason. It's almost as though he wants us to forget that those guys exist." He groaned in exasperation. "Because of that, a lot of people came to the conclusion that since our contact with them has remained limited, we won't be allowed to leave with them, or anybody else, ever. That upsets some people of course, because a lot of people here have families in America. Even if they can't find them there, some of the people have expressed interest in retuning to what is familiar."

"You're kind of jumping to conclusions about them keeping us here, don't you think?" Jack asked.

"Maybe, but it would make sense," Cliff replied. "That's what Darren has been saying at least."  
>"Darren?" Jack asked.<p>

"He's one of Gotz's people. He's been pretty vocal in the last few days about how we're being held as prisoners on this island or whatever, and a lot of the non-locals agree with him. I sort of agree with him too, even though I wouldn't understand why we'd be held here, given that this island is probably at its peak for population. What do you think?"

"W-well…" Jack stammered. "You kind of cornered me in a bad position here, because I-"

"Oh yeah, I forgot, you're actually in the council and you probably have a better idea of what's going on," he said, remembering Jack's position. "Whatever the case, I'm glad you 're on the council. You seem like the kind of person who wouldn't try to conform to whatever boneheaded ideas they're having there."

"Not that it matters," Jack sighed. "I'm usually on the outside during those meetings, so I don't think it makes a big difference."

"Even so, it's better than nothing," Cliff said. "It's good to know that not every politician in this town is only in the game for their agenda."

"Yeah, well I try," Jack muttered back. He wondered if the mayor knew about all of the whispers that were going around about the council's decision, even before anything about it had been announced publicly. He only hoped that trouble wouldn't be turning its ugly head I the near future.

* * *

><p>Cliff and Ann finally tied the knot on the nineteenth of November, roughly a month after Cliff proposed. The two had a big ceremony in the church, and everybody who attended went to the party in the inn afterward. At that point, everybody (including the bride and groom) had switched into more comfortable attire, since formal wear was no longer in high supply, and the post-wedding festivities had begun. After eating and stumbling his way through a best man speech, Jack found himself drinking a third glass of wine while he watched the people who were dancing. He hadn't spent a whole lot of time dancing though since Elli was a part of the musical arrangement for the evening. She was playing the flute while Karen sang and Bernie (one of Jack's employees) played the guitar. Most of the music was fast paced folk songs that dated back to the old days of the town, and they almost sounded archaic, but the traditional music had a nice feel to it.<p>

Jack didn't mind not being to involved in the dancing though, since he was pretty tired from work that the late autumn brought. But he was also not dancing with the others because he had to keep an eye on Elli's little brother.

"I think you've had enough," Jack told Stu as he noticed the young teen had picked up another drink. Stu rolled his eyes at this.

"Come on Jack, it's a party. You gonna get on my case all night about this?" he complained.

"Yes. The Keller's aren't here and your sister told me to keep an eye on you and make sure you don't start puking everywhere like last time," Jack told him as he shook his head. The drinking laws in the town were pretty loose, but none of the younger crowd had suffered from any major negative effects yet. Even so, it seemed dangerous to allow young teens to drink.

"Really?" Stu griped. "You're going to pin that on me? Sheesh, you're acting like you're my father or something. I'm going home. It's no fun if I can't drink." As Stu got up and left, the words _you're acting like you're my father _burned in the back of Jack's mind. Was Stu aware of the person his father had become after his mother died? He would have been a baby when his older sister was molested, but was he made aware of it when he got older? It would be hard to know, given that the subject might have been taboo enough that not even he knew.

After finishing his drink, Jack began to work on the one that Stu had left. He knew it wasn't a good idea for him to be drinking this much, but he kept chugging away at the sauce anyway. _Old habits die hard, I guess. _He noticed somebody else who wasn't dancing: Lola. She was sitting by herself, nursing her drink. It was so strange seeing her without that confident smile she always wore, so she seemed off. Jack stood up slowly and walked over to the table she was sitting at. "Hey Lola."

"Oh, hey Jackie, it's been awhile," she greeted softly. Something was up with her voice. It wasn't smooth and bold like it normally was, but sort of depressed instead.

"Can I join you?" he asked. She nodded, and he took a seat next to her. The two just sat in awkward silence for nearly a minute. Jack was trying to read onto why she was acting different, but he couldn't figure it out. "So… how you been?"

"I've been better," she sighed. "I hate this time of year. Building the wall is not fun in the winter, you know? You?"

"I've been okay. Our major harvest is over, so now we're just preparing for winter," he said. "I don't like the cold either, but at least we get a summer. It's always cold on the outside."  
>"Yeah… You and Elli still doing well?"<p>

"Yup, she's sort of living with me now."  
>"What do you mean sort of?" the dark haired girl curiously asked.<p>

"Well, it's not like she's completely moved into my place, but she's living with me on nights that she doesn't need to be in the clinic," he explained.

"Oh. Well… that's nice." Lola went back to staring into space, or so it seemed. It took Jack a few seconds to realize that she was actually staring at Ann, who was dancing with Cliff.

"She looks so happy," Lola murmured. "I wonder if I'll ever find…"

"Find what?" Jack asked when Lola didn't finish her sentence.

"Nothing. It's stupid," she replied.

"Okay, well…" Jack was about to stand up and leave, but something stopped him. He remembered how Phil offed himself because he felt alone, and the shattering of his dreams drove him crazy. Jack had felt so helpless in that moment, but he didn't want to feel that way anymore. Even though he didn't like Lola all that much, he could tell something was eating away at her, and he had decided on the night of Phil's death that he wanted to help those who were suffering, like he was at one point. "Lola, is something bothering you? You're not dancing with your friends or anything, and I know you're a good dancer. I've seen you before."

"Jack… do you think I'm a slut?" Lola asked. Jack felt his heart skip a beat when he was asked this question, since it came out of nowhere. The truthful answer would have been to say "yes," but he knew it wouldn't be a helpful answer.

"Um… where is this coming from?" he questioned.

"It's just that I see Ann and Cliff, and you and Elli, and you all just look so happy together. And then I look at myself… I feel like I've acted really stupid, sleeping around with all these guys and stuff. I mean, Phil was the last guy, and he was in a relationship with his pregnant girlfriend, but that didn't stop me. And now he's dead. Is that all I am now? Some guys last fling before he jumps off a mountain?"

"Err…"

"Why do you even want to know?" she asked in a tired tone. "I know you don't like me. You just put up with me. I can see it in your eyes whenever we talk. It's as though you can't wait for me to leave."

"Lola," Jack began, "I just don't want to see anybody else make any big mistakes. I don't want anybody else to get hurt." He reached out and touched her shoulder. The two made eye contact, and he could see the insecurity written on her face. "Maybe… maybe if you're unhappy with the way things are going, now is the time to change. It's never too late to find happiness."

"Yeah… you may be right about that. I just don't know if I deserve it," she mumbled.

"Don't say that," Jack said quietly. "We all deserve happiness. But if you aren't finding it now, maybe it's time to take a good hard look in the mirror and tell yourself what you need to change.

Lola continued to stare at Jack with an empty look before she pulled him into a tight hug. Unlike the other hugs the two had shared, this one didn't feel forced. "Thanks."

"For what?" he asked..

"For listening," she said. "I feel a little bit better."

"Okay then. You're welcome," he replied, smiling. He looked over at the group of people dancing and felt like he wanted to join them again. "You wannna go dance?"

"I don't know, will Elli be okay with that?" she asked. "I don't want to make things aw-"

"It's fine, you and me, we're just friends," he reminded her. _Friends. _The word stuck in his mind. But somehow, that was okay with him.

* * *

><p>Hours later, some people were still at the reception, but many had already left. Jack was still enjoying the booze though, currently downing number eight. It was the most alcohol he had consumed in awhile, and it was difficult for him to sit up straight, but he couldn't care less. Something drove him to drink that night and he didn't want to quit.<p>

_"It's been quite some time since we've had this much to drink."_

"Can't you talk to me some other time?" Jack asked the voice.

_"But it's been so long since we've really talked. You've been ignoring me, so we have a lot of catching up to-"_

"I don't need this!" Jack shouted. Only a few people noticed this outburst, but it felt as though the whole room was staring at him. Embarrassed, he stood up and staggered out of inn. Once outside, he leaned with his back against the wall and took a deep breath.

_"I'm still here," _the voice persisted.

"Why can't you just go away?" Jack questioned.

_"Because I love you and I know what's best for you."_

"You're the one who tells me to end it. How is that best for me?"

"_Because I hate to see you suffer-"_

"Then go away!" Jack interrupted. "I was fine before you started talking!"

_"I talk because you're hopeless. Not the other way around. You're a miserable little child who has nothing left. Nothing at all."  
><em>

"You're wrong. I have the farm, I have friends, and I have Elli."

"_Oh please. You hate the farm, your friends don't understand your pain, and Elli is just a replacement for Kassie."_

"Shut up! You're lying! You and I both know that's not true!"

_"Is it now? You claim to like Elli, but let's face it: she's a replacement. You still long for Kassie and you still lust after Karen. If Kassie were to show up at your door tomorrow, you would forget about Elli in a heartbeat."_

"That won't happen. She's dead."

_"And if Karen were to show up at your house one day, wanting to fuck you, you'd do it."  
><em>

"That's not true!" Jack yelled. "I would never do that!"

_"Yes you would. You think that this girl is your saving grace, but you're just using her to make yourself feel as though you belong somewhere. Truth is, she's just your tool. If you really cared about her, you would leave her to be with somebody less selfish. There is no way you can win this game Jack. You will always be lonely, unhappy, and causing pain."  
><em>

"Please," Jack begged, "please leave me alone." Everything the voice said was getting to him, and the alcohol wasn't helping.

_"The way I see it, you're hurting her more than her father ever di-"  
><em>

"I said leave me alone!" he screamed. He collapsed against the wall and clutched his head in agony as tears rolled down his face. _Fuck, why am I crying? I can't be seen like this. _But he couldn't bring himself to his feet. Even though the voice had stopped talking, its words were ringing through his head.

"Jack?" He immediately recognized the voice as Elli's, but he wouldn't show her his face. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing, I'm fine," he blurted out as he wiped his face and stood up. "I just fell."

"How much did you drink?" she asked, concerned. He ignored her and staggered away in a hurry, but he fell down after a few steps. He then tried to crawl away, but Elli stopped him. She slowly brought him to his feet and looked his face over. "Have you… have you been crying?"

"No," he whispered, but that was an obvious lie.

"Jack, what's wrong?" He didn't say anything, but just shook his head. He didn't want to concern her over this right now.

"Can we just go home? I want to sleep."

Elli nodded and gave him a tight hug. "Look, let's talk about this in the morning, okay?"

"Sure," he muttered. But already, because he did not want Elli to learn he was having emotional trauma involving other women. so his mind was scrambling for a reasonable lie. Old habits die hard.

* * *

><p><strong>Meh, I didn't like this chapter so much. Just a bunch of set-up again and it got overly angsty. It's hard to find that balance between too little and emo.<strong>

** With school starting soon, updates will be less frequent, but they will come. Peace out.**


	16. Chapter Fourteen: Rebellion's Roots

**Sorry it's been awhile. I've been working on my pokemon story, and school starting has absorbed a lot of my time. That, and I've lost some interest in this story, but I will see this through. Hope y'all into it.**

**And HERE WE GO!**

* * *

><p><em>Elli and Kim were on their lunch break in one of the clinic's back rooms. Both girls were drinking herbal tea with their meals as they made small talk, though this was difficult, since the girls had very little to talk about other than their clinic work.<em>

"_We should go out to the bar together sometime," Kim suggested. "Whenever I go by myself, I always get harassed by half of the men there. It's so annoying."_

"_Sure," Elli agreed with her protégé. "When do you want to go?"_

"_How about tonight?" _

"_No, tonight won't work. I'm going to the bar tonight with Jack… Unless you wanted to come with us. You could bring a date and we can do a double date."_

"_Really?" Kim asked. "Jack won't mind?"_

"_No, he'd probably find it fun."_

"_Okay then, I'll see if I can find somebody," Kim said, smiling. "So how is Jack. He never comes by the clinic anymore ever since you went to live with him."_

"_He's fine. Everything is going fine with us. It has been ever since we got back together." She blushed slightly. "Actually, I lied. It's been better than fine." "Oh really now?" Kim questioned with an intriguing voice. "You two… you know…"_

"_Watch yourself. I'm your boss," Elli reminded her. _

"_Aw, you're no fun," Kim whined. "I'm going to go find somebody more interesting. See you after break." "Bye." Letting out a sigh, Elli took another sip of her tea and feel into a daydream. Jack never left her mind, even when she was busy in the clinic. Even with his flaws, his sweet nature always made up for his downfalls. She wondered if she was ready to sleep with him. The thought of sex was pretty scary for her, considering how it was linked with so many a bad memories. That, and her grandmother had always told her that she should save herself until marriage. But at the same time, she wanted to make Jack happy. He had been so patient with her thus far, and he would probably continue to do so, but it wouldn't be right of her to hold out on him forever. Plus, she wanted to sleep with him too when she was ready, but was that time now?_

_There was another dilemma she was having. She knew Jack was lying to her about the night he had gotten drunk and started crying. He had told her that her that he was reliving a painful memory, but in her heart of hearts, she knew that wasn't true when she saw the look on his face. What could he be hiding, and why wouldn't he tell her? He had told her so much about himself, so maybe he decided that she was better off not knowing what he was hiding now?_

"_I'm so confused about everything," she mumbled under her breath. "I just hope I do the right thing. For both of us."_

**Chapter Fourteen: Rebellion's Roots  
><strong>

_Date: December 2nd__ 2011, Friday, 6:40 PM_

"Tell me, is this how you pictured you'd spend your birthday?" Gabe asked as the two farmers weaved their way through the snowy southern forest. They were being lead by one of Gabe's leashed pigs, who was sniffing away at the ground.

"Well, I never really do much for birthdays anymore," Jack chuckled. Ever since the strikes, birthdays were pretty much reduced to drinking with friends, which was something he did most nights anyway. But what Gabe had prepared for him was a bit different, yet enjoyable, even though he was getting tired of carrying the shovel. "So, this pig will really sniff out frost truffles?"

"You bet. Trained him myself. Just make sure you start digging before he gets too far, or he'll eat the mushroom before you even see it," Gabe warned.

"Gotcha," Jack replied, "How's your family doing in the valley?" "They're all good. What about your 'family'?" Gabe asked, referring to Jack's dysfunctional roommates.

"More tolerable, honestly," Jack admitted. "Ever since Elli started spending the night more often, Kai and Popuri seemed to have calmed down more. I guess they don't want to look stupid in front of Elli or something." "Well that's a plus," Gabe agreed. "I guess if you're going to be stuck with them…" The two stopped talking as they continued to follow the sniffing pig. The porker didn't seem to be having any luck finding mushrooms, but he kept up with his search.

"So… Gabe… Have people in the valley been talking about the decision?" Jack asked, though he knew this conversation could easily hit a nerve.

"What decision?" "The decision to not allow people to leave. I know we never made an official announcement, but people around here have been talking. Especially the non-natives. They put two and two together it seems…"

"I know," Gabe replied. "It's been the buzz back in Forget-Me-Not too. Personally, I don't know what anybody expects to find back in America. This place is a paradise. I think the high council made the right decision on this one."

"Yeah, I figured you'd say that," Jack sighed. Of course Gabe would feel that way, since he actually wanted to come to the island to be a farmer. "But what about the insanity some people are going through here? We had another suicide a week ago by one of our wall guards. They found the guy in his room with his brains splattered all over the wall. We can't keep ignoring this." "You're absolutely right, which is why we have to get to those individuals before they go through with stuff like that. Not to mention remove them from their positions until they're stable. The last thing we need is somebody putting our lives in danger," Gabe stated. "Oh look, he's found something. Get the shovel ready."

After a few seconds, they pushed the pig out of the way and Gabe began to dig. Finding truffles was exciting, but Jack wasn't thinking about mushrooms anymore, but about Gabe. The way he saw it, Gabe was one of "them:" the people who were restricting the members of the island community. Granted, Gabe didn't hold these beliefs for the same reasons that guys like Mayor Thomas did; for reasons of personal agenda, but he was still being closed minded. Another thing that bothered him were Gabe's views on people with issues of depression. Would Gabe think that Jack was not capable of running his farm because of his illness? Whatever the case, he felt weird now viewing Gabe as an antagonist.

"Here we are. It's a big one too," Gabe said cheerfully as he held up the frost truffle. "You'll love these things. You'll never want to go back to eating regular mushrooms after this." "Yeah, thank you," Jack mumbled. "It's getting dark. We better get back to the farm soon. I don't want to be out here in the woods when the sun goes down."

"Yup, that sounds good. Would you mind if I leave Boris with your pigs for awhile so we can go get a drink? It's been awhile since I've been to Doug's."

"Sure thing," Jack agreed. Suddenly, he didn't fee like hanging out with anybody anymore, but since Gabe had been so kind as to take him out mushroom hunting, it would feel wrong to deny him. The two men made their way back to the farm, where they left Gabe's pig with Jack's and the truffle in the fridge. After that, they headed towards the inn through the inch of snow that covered the pathways. It wouldn't be long before the ice really piled up though, so Jack appreciated the easy walking while it lasted. However, once the two reached the inn, he immediately began to regret coming. _I should have stayed home. I really need to crash. One drink and I'm going home._ But his plans were thwarted the moment he entered the inn.

"Surprise! Happy Birthday!" the group of people cheered as he walked in, almost knocking him over with the force of their collective voice. The group consisted of Ann, Cliff, Karen, Rick (much to Jack's surprise), Kai, Popuri, and of course, Elli.

Before he could wave off the shock, Elli ran up to him and squeezed him in a tight hug. "Happy 27th birthday, old timer," she whispered into his ear, giggling.

"Oh please, don't remind me," he replied after giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Lighten up, you're not _that _old. I just hope you enjoy this," she said.

"Wait, did you plan all this?" he asked.

"Of course!" she replied as if he said something stupid, "it's your birthday! I asked Gabe to take you out mushroom hunting so we could prepare this. I really wanted this to be special." She then brought her face centimeters away from his as if she was going to kiss him, but she didn't. "I want this whole night to be special." "Oh really?" he asked flirtatiously, "what do you mean by that?"

"I have to go check on the cake. Go talk with your friends," she replied in order to distract him. After the two ended their embrace, Jack began talking with his other friends, all of which were sitting around on the old sofas near the big fire place that was lit up tonight. Nobody had brought gifts, since gift giving for birthdays was often considered wasteful of town supplies, but everybody was willing to buy him drinks for this one night.

"Happy birthday, Jack," Kai said jovially when Jack had finally got around to talking with his business partner. Kai must had been drinking before the party started since he was already looking buzzed. "Can't believe how long it's been since we've both met."

"Yeah, thanks bud," Jack replied. "Good to see that you can still hold your drinks like you could five summers ago." "Yeah, well I'm just getting started. But don't worry Jack, you don't have to carry me home on your birthday. Popuri and I are spending the night at her mom's house, so you and Elli got the place to yourself tonight." He then tried to wink at Jack, but as his eyes drooped, it looked as though he was just blinking.

"Huh… why are you guys doing that?" Jack asked.

Kai gave him a look of disbelief. "Why are we doing that? Why are we- really Jack! God, you're so dense. We're doing it cause it's your birthday, numbskull! That, and Elli asked us too. I guess she wants to give you the best gift of all if you know wha-"

"Wait, hold on," Jack interrupted, "you're letting us have the house to ourselves because _she_ asked you? You never let me have the house to myself when I ask, and I own the place!"

"What can I say Jack? Both Popuri and I like Elli. She's the most adorable thing left on Earth. Do you honestly think we could say no to _that_? I know you can't."

"Well, yeah, but…"

"Just enjoy yourself and stop acting like a whiny bitch for once, 'kay?"

Before Jack could reply, Kai walked away to talk with some of the others. Shrugging his shoulders, he turned his attention back to his drink. _So Elli wants the house to ourselves tonight? I guess she's ready… at least I hope she is. I hope she isn't just trying to please me… I hope I'm ready. This should be my turning point. It's time to leave the past behind. I can't let the memories of Kassie hurt me. And I can't let Kar-_

"Quit brooding, it's your goddamn birthday," Karen shouted in Jack's face, snapping him out of his trance. The blonde girl was already on her third drink, but she still seemed pretty sober.

"I'm not brooding," Jack said defensively. "I'm just-" "Deep in thought?" Karen asked, laughing. "You need to lighten up and stop thinking for once. It's your birthday. Elli went through a lot of trouble to do this! She baked the cake, got everybo-"

"Yeah, she must have," Jack interrupted. "I've never had a real birthday party here before… not that I was dying for one, but-"

"Yeah, well, she came to me and Ann a few days ago to help her plan the whole thing," Karen explained. "On such short notice? Why did it become so important?" Karen glanced around to make sure that nobody else was listening before sitting down next to Jack and whispering, "have you been okay lately?"

"Sure," he lied, "why?"

"Well, Elli mentioned to me that you've been kind of off… well, "offer" than usual. I just hope that whatever's going on with you that you're okay. I hope we don't have any reason to worry about you." "You don't," Jack reassured. "I'm fine. I promise."

"Good," Karen said with a smile. "Now loosen up and have fun. Seriously, you look like such a zombie. Smile more!"

"Fine, fine," Jack sighed, smiling as goofily as he could. While drinking the last of his wine, he shot a glance at Elli, who was busy chatting with Popuri. As Popuri kept chattering on about something, Elli noticed Jack was staring at her, and she flashed a smile back at him. In his eyes, she was the most beautiful girl in the room, still retaining the innocence and purity that she had had all the time that he had known her. Yet, there was something new about her. Something daring and adventurous that made her that much more attractive.

_Elli… I don't know if I love you yet… but damn, you're all I need, for now and forever._

* * *

><p>"That was really fun," Jack said to Elli as the two stood outside the inn. It was 10:30, and even though it wasn't all that late, most of their friends had went home. "That was good cake. I didn't know you could bake that well."<p>

"Well who did you expect to make it, Karen?" Elli questioned with a giggle.

"I would hope not. I kind of want to live until my next birthday," he laughed. "You ready to go home?"

"Alright," she agreed. But before she could take another step, Jack grabbed her and hoisted her over his shoulder.

"Jack, stop it!" Elli squealed with laughter.

"I don't think so!" he shouted back in reply. "You did all this work, so I'm not going to let you walk. That would be rude. Let's go home." The walk back in the light snow while carrying a fidgeting, laughing girl over his shoulder was difficult, yet he didn't care. It felt amazing how all his mood had taken a complete 180 degree turn in just a matter of hours. The problems of discord among the people seemed to have temporarily faded from his mind. Only Elli was in his mind now, but it was even better that she was there with him in person, hoisted over his shoulders.

"Can you put me down now? You're going to drop me!" Elli begged, though her voice was still humored.

"Hold on, we're almost there! I'm not going to let you get snow on your shoes," he asserted. When Jack reached the front door of his house, he opened it with his free hand and put Elli down on the wooden floor. "See? Didn't get any snow on your feet or anything. Your welcome." "Yes, thank you," she replied in exhaustion. "I hope you had a good time tonight Jack." "Great time," he responded. He looked around at the darkened house. Like they had promised, Kai and Popuri were nowhere in sight, and the typical noises that came from their room were missing. "You're amazing, you know that?"

She blushed, adorably as usual. "Well, I have another surprise for you."

"What is it?" Jack asked curiously as he touched her side.

"I can't tell you," she snapped playfully as she slapped his hand, "it's a surprise! Just be patient!"

"Can you give me a hint?" he pestered. "Does it involve more cake?"

"No, it does-" "Does it involve whips and chains?" Jack interrupted with a false enthusiasm.

Elli had a good laugh out of that comment. "Ugh, Jack, are you really into that sort of thing?"

"Not really, but if you are, I am too," he replied with a chuckle.

"Just shut up," she said.

"But I don't want-"

"Shut up," she repeated, this time placing her left index finger over his lips to silence him. The two gazed at each other for nearly a minute before their lips met, and that familiar feeling of ecstasy coursed through their bodies. Fervently, the two kissed as Jack hoisted her body up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. With Elli in tow, Jack made his way to his room and the two collapsed on the bed, both of them still kissing. Soon, Elli had positioned herself on top of him, and began playing with his hair, which had grown long and shaggy in the recent months.

"You really need to cut your hair," she murmured sweetly.

"Only if you grow yours out," he bargained, trying to turn on the charm.

"Really?" she asked, surprised. "I haven't grown it out since I was a kid…" Though she was still smiling as she twirled his bangs between his fingers, she was shivering just slightly. "You think I'd look good with longer hair?"

"It really doesn't matter, you look hot no matter what," he told her. Elli rolled her eyes and she went back to kissing him. In the midst of the moment, the two sat up in the bed to continue.

"Elli," Jack whispered, when he had a moment of air, "are you sure you're ready for this? I don't want you to feel pre-"

"It's alright Jack, I'll be fine," she replied in a soft voice. Though she looked nervous, she still looked happy to be with him.

"Okay… if you think you're ready… Hold on." He separated from her for a second and looked in one of the drawers of his night stand. The box of condoms that he was given before the nukes was still sitting there, unopened. There was a good chance that they were expired, but it was better than nothing.

"What are you looking for?" Elli asked curiously.

"Nothing," he replied calmly, leaving the drawer open. _Later. _

Retuning to Elli, the two began to kiss again, though it was much slower than usual. Jack figured that he would have to move slowly so that she wouldn't get too nervous. Piece by piece, his clothing came off, but it wasn't so easy with her. When he tried to remove her blouse, she stopped his hand.

"Not yet," she whispered fearfully.

Jack nodded, but his mood dropped slightly. He could never seem to gain access to her back, but he tried not to question it. Instead, he moved his hands down to her jeans, and slowly removed them. As the continued their pre-love making, he ran his hands down her smooth legs. Whenever his fingers touched her skin, he could feel a shiver run through her body, though it didn't seem to slow her down any. Again, he moved his hands up to her blouse and began to lift it up. This time, she didn't fight back, but Jack felt that familiar action of Elli's body freezing up. Jack froze too as he saw her face. She was no longer smiling, and her eyes were squeezed shut as if she were flinching.

"Elli?"

"I'm fine," she squeaked, though it was obvious we wasn't. Jack sighed, and let go of her blouse.

"We're not going to do this right now," he murmured to her, taking care that his voice would sound calm, and not upset. He then laid down next to her and she readjusted her head so she could look at him.

"Jack, I-"

"It's fine," he whispered to her, "I can tell that you're not ready. I'm not going to make you do this because it's my birthday, or because I want you to, or anything." "I just…" she began, wearing an expression of guilt, "I thought I was ready I guess… I just wanted you to be happy."

"I am happy," he told her reassuringly as he extended his hand so he could touch her cheek.

"But I know you want… I want it too," she continued, "just…"

"In good time," he told her. "I can wait a little longer. It's okay if you aren't ready." He paused as he reflected. "To be honest… I don't know if I'm ready either."

Elli looked confused. "What do you mean?" she questioned. "I thought this was something that you were more experienced with."

"It is, but that's not the problem," he told her. "It's… damn it, you're gonna hate me."

"Jack, nothing you could say could make me hate you," she reassured him. "Whatever it is, you can tell me."

"Okay…" He absorbed the image of her face again. So smooth and delicate, with her beautiful brown hair and chocolate colored eyes. But even that picture couldn't completely distract him. "It's Kassie."

"Kassie?" Elli asked, as if she had never heard the name before.

"I can't explain it," he admitted, "I know she's dead. I know that I'm never going to see her again. And most importantly… I know that you're everything to me now… but I still can't seem to let go of her. I still love her… or the memories I had of her. I don't know… But I promise you this: I don't feel anything less for you because of her. I just want to be able to give one hundred percent of myself to you."

Elli didn't respond at first. Jack assumed that she was going to be angry, but her face seemed indescribable to him.

"Jack… I understand," she murmured. "I know that what you and her had was something that I can't comprehend. Just… what does this mean for us?"

"I guess we just need more time," he suggested. "You mean so much to me, and I don't want to do anything too rash that could ruin what we have."

"I agree," Elli replied. She moved herself closer to him and kissed him. "And Jack," she began again, "in the future, please tell me if there's anything bothering you. I want to be there for you, and I can't do that if you don't say anything." "I know, I just want-"

"You're not alone. You never have to be," Elli assured him. But he had heard those words a million times. Even coming from Elli, would they ever truly mean anything?

* * *

><p>"<em>Why did you leave me? Don't you love me anymore?" "Yes, but I couldn't help it!" Jack screamed. "I couldn't stop the strikes! We were both in the wrong places at the wrong times! Where are you?"<em>

"_Jack!" Kassie yelled. Jack turned his head to see Kassie in the featureless distance. But before he could even move towards her, a nuclear explosion erupted out of nowhere, engulfing her._

"_No!" Jack shouted, but he was blinded from the blast. When he finally began to see clearly again, he was somewhere else. Instead of a featureless plane, he was standing under a willow tree next to a small lake, which was surrounded by small mountains. It only took him a second to realize where he was. It was the vacation spot where his high school friends and him had went to celebrate graduating at. More specifically, it was the place where he had lost his virginity._

"_Kassie?" he asked._

"_She's not here," a voice said. It sounded like his on._

"_What are you doing here?" Jack roared. "Is haunting me during the daytime not good enough anymore?"_

"_She's not here," the voice repeated, "and she will never be again. This place, this lake that you have a connection with… it's gone now. The water is poisoned, the trees are rotting. It's all gone. And yet, you keep it alive in your mind, as though you could return some day… just like her."_

"_W-what do you mean?"_

"_You will never love Elli because you will never stop loving Kassie. It's a futile effort, Jack. Don't you want to be free from this futility?"_

"_Why do you insist that I kill myself?" Jack snapped. "If you are me, wouldn't you want to be happy? Wouldn't that be worth trying for?"_

"_It would be, if it were possible," the voice replied. "But it isn't. I know it, and you know it too, deep down within your heart. You may find temporary happiness, but I can guarantee you that it won't last."_

"_How do you know? You can't read the future!" Jack retorted._

"_True… but remember the past… or you will be doomed to repeat it."_

"_What do you-"_

The dream came to a sudden halt at the sound of knocking. Groggily, he sat up in and stared at the door, dumbly. His consciousness was still trapped somewhere between the dream world and reality.

"Who's that?" Elli mumbled, still more asleep than awake.

"I don't know, go back to sleep," he replied softly.

"Okay love," she said in a sleepy, yet sweet tone as she wrapped her arms around his waist, giving him a tight squeeze. Jack smiled and touched her hair, which was messy after the night's sleep, but she was still lovely to him. Escaping the grasp of her arms, he shifted off the bed and slipped into his jeans before heading to his bedroom door to open it.

"Flint?" Jack asked, though he could clearly recognize the old farmer who stood in front of him. "How did you get in?"

"Your door was unlocked, so I came in," he answered simply. "I didn't wake y'all, did I?"

"You sort of did," Jack muttered in discontent. "Look, this had better be important. It's my day off-"

"I know, it's not about work. It's about the town," Flint told him in a dry, serious voice.

"The town? W-What are we under attack?" Jack stuttered, his senses suddenly sharpening.

"No, nothing like that," Flint replied. "It's the mayor. He's holding a town meeting in the early evening at the village square, 5 o'clock or something. Everybody except those on wall patrol are required to show up. We got the message from the Thomas's aids, and I was just making sure you knew about it."

"Okay, thank you Flint," Jack replied. With a nod, the elderly man turned to leave the house. Jack shut the bedroom door and nestled up in his bed next to Elli again, who instinctively encircled him with her arms.

"What was that all about?" she asked in a whisper. Her eyes were open now, but they looked glossed over, shining from the entering sunlight.

"Nothing, just a town meeting, but it's not until five," he answered.

"Good, we still have some time before we have to go," she said tightening her constriction around his torso.

"What do you mean? Don't you have work?" Jack asked.

"I told you, I worked Wednesday so I could get today off," she reminded him. "we still have most of the day to ourselves then." "Okay then, what do you want to do then?"

"For now, I just want to sleep some more, or at least try to. Maybe breakfast in an hour or so. And after that…"

"We could just go back to bed," Jack suggested as he turned his body to face hers.

"You are hopeless, you know that?" Elli giggled as she pressed her head against his chest.

"Ouch, that hurts," Jack chuckled. He kissed her forehead and began to feel drowsy again. Physically, he was calm, but mentally, pandemonium ensued. The dream he had had regarding Kassie was troubling enough to begin with, but he already knew that the town meeting was going to start some sort of controversy. Hopefully, Mayor Thomas had prepared for the shit that was about to hit the proverbial fan.

* * *

><p>The town meeting was unpleasant in since it took place outside, since the square was the only location that could accommodate everybody in town. The temperature had dropped to 10 degrees Fahrenheit, so even though most of the townspeople wore coats, they were still shivering in the chilling air. Jack stood near the front row of the crowd with Elli clinging to his side for warmth<p>

All of the things that Mayor Thomas had brought up so far were positive things: higher food rations, housing improvements, etc. The housing improvements were probably the biggest change that was brought up. Many of the workers on the farms, ranches, and Gotz's land were living in housing meant for multiple people, even families with children. The plan was to increase the town's taxes slightly so that there would be more funding for building housing units.

_Maybe they'll build something for Kai and Popuri so that they finally move out of my house. _The thought was entertaining, but considering Jack's luck with housemates, he doubted it would happen.

Despite hearing all these good things from Thomas, it was pretty obvious to Jack why the mayor wanted to implement all these changes. With all the rumors flying around about people not being allowed to leave, it was an obvious attempt to make the living conditions even better so that the buzz would calm down. Also, if he could get a positive reaction from the crowd, the council would be more likely to vote yes on the new ordinances.

"And therefore, I believe that these changes will not only improve the morale of our fellow citizens, but it will also improve the qualities of our lives as a whole. I hope that these new ordinances will be a pleasing and helpful addition to this town." At the end of Mayor Thomas's speech, a light clap erupted from the citizens. Most of them seemed pretty happy about it, but there were a few of the newer residents who understood what these changes were really about. "And now, if there are any questions or concerns, now would be the time to voice them." There were whispers and muttering among the townspeople, but nobody came forward. "Well, if there is nothing to add-"

"Actually Mister Mayor," announced a voice from the middle of the crowd, "I have a question that's been burning a hole in my brain for quite some time." Jack turned his head to see a tall figure pushing through the crowd so he could reach the front. It was Darren. Jack didn't know the man that well, except that he was a one of the first people that washed up on Mineral Beach, that he worked for Gotz, and that he was the mouthpiece of those who wanted to try to go back home. Otherwise, he seemed to be rather soft-spoken. He looked as though he was in his late thirties, and he had tan skinned muscular body, long black hair, and a thick chin. Jack figured that he was a Native American by descent, but he couldn't tell for sure.

"Um, okay then, your name?" the mayor asked. His voice gave away that he could already foresee the subject that the woodcutter would bring up.

"Darren Crowe," he stated loudly in a deep voice so the whole town could hear. Murmurs began again at the name, since even the people who didn't know him personally knew about him through the rumors. "Look Mayor Thomas, all these changes that you want to make are good, but you haven't answered the question that many of us 'outsiders' want to ask you."

"There are no outsiders here," the mayor corrected nervously, "but ask away." "No outsiders, huh?" Darren chuckled sarcastically, "well answer me this: when that U.S. Navy ship returns to this island, will those of us who want to return to America be able to?"

"Err… haha, why would you want to leave this town?" the mayor asked nervously, "we have everything you could possibly want. Clean air, clean water, safety-"

"Yes, that's nice and all, but that's not my point," Darren interrupted. "You see, my family and I lived in Kansas, and-" "What makes you think they're even still alive!" Duke rudely interrupted with an angry shout. Darren gave him a stiff look, but he kept his cool.

"As I was trying to say," he continued, "I had a little conversation with one of the soldiers who came through this town, and I learned that the farm belt in America wasn't hit by that many nukes, and it is now the center of their society. The way I see it, there's a good chance that my wife and daughter are still alive, and while this place has been generous to me as a newcomer, it's my duty as a father and a husband to return to my home and try to find them. Do you understand where I am coming from?"

"Yes, but-"

"But I know you've been trying to downplay the Navy's arrival, especially with all of these sudden improvements you're trying to make on your own," Darren stated. "Another thing that I asked that soldier was if they were not only giving out supplies, but if they were transporting people to safer locations, including the safe spots in the United States. He told me they were. However, that opportunity has never been brought up to us. I can understand why we wouldn't leave when they left this last time. It'd only be a few days notice, and we'd all want to get our affairs in order. But when were you planning on telling us? Or were you never planning to tell us?"

The mayor had lost all the color in his face. He realized that Darren had driven him into a corner, and he could tell that there were people in the crowd who were upset that they weren't told the whole truth.

"W-well…" Thomas stuttered, "I f-feel your pain. It must be very difficult to be here while there is a c-chance that you're family is still alive. However…" He took out a handkerchief and wiped some of the accumulating on his brow. "However, we of the council b-believe that it is in the b-best interest of our town to let any of our residents leave-"

"UNBELIEVABLE!" Somebody in the crowd roared. "You're gonna keep us imprisoned here like criminals!"

"No, no!" the mayor shouted out in a panic, "it's not like that, let me explai-"

"Explain what!" another villager yelled. Jack recognized this villager as Gordy, one of his farm workers. "You want to keep us like animals, Thomas!"

"How dare you!" Anna shouted at him, "that's Mayor Thomas to you, you outsider!"

"What did you call me, bitch!" Gordy spat back.

"No, nobody is better than anybody else because of their arrival date," the Mayor shouted. "Please, everybody cal-"

"Did you honestly think you could keep this a secret forever?" Darren asked in a powerful, yet tranquil voice, trying to set an example for his followers. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because our way of life depends on it!" he said in a begging voice. "But what about us? Us 'outsiders' make up most of this town, and all of the council members are people who have been here before the nukes fell! Don't you think this whole government is a little unbalanced?"

"I-"

"Mayor Thomas," Jack interjected, "maybe its time we reexamine our position on this situation. It's obviously not going to-" "Oh no, don't you start too!" Duke shouted in rage.

"Hey, don't tell me that I'm out of line when I actually give a damn about these people!" Jack shot back.

"No, now you're just trying to pander to them now," Anna replied. Jack said nothing, but if looks could kill, the glare he shot at her would be the equivalent of a second nuclear holocaust.

At this point, crowd members were no longer mumbling, but were loudly arguing amongst themselves, and it wasn't just old citizens versus new citizens, since people from each group had aligned with a side.

"Now people-" the mayor said in an attempt to gain order, but his plea was drowned out by the voices of the other citizens. Vulgarities were flying in every direction, and it looked like a riot was about to start.

"Elli," Jack said as he turned to his girlfriend, "I want you to get out of here right now. I don't want you getting hurt if they start to fight."

"Jack, I couldn't," she stated firmly, though there was some fear in her voice. "What if somebody gets hurt? I have to be around to help people-"

"Okay, fine," he groaned, knowing that he would be unable to change her mind, "then just get out of the crowd and wait for somebody to get hurt or something.."

"I'll be okay," she promised, "what about you?"

"I have to go help some of the guards break this up before it gets bad," he answered in an unpleasant voice.

"Okay then, be safe," she whispered, though it was barely audible over the commotion. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and pried her way out of the mass. Jack turned his head at the wild mass of villagers, and felt a wave of hopelessness pass over him. Even with this kind of heat, he doubted the council would change their mind on the matter. It would take a much larger scandal to break them then simple lies.


	17. Chapter Fifteen: Utility's Thorns

… **I'm back! Yeah, I'm awful. I haven't updated in almost two months, but I blame it on my other story and school. But I will not die! Thanks for the reviews. You guys rock, especially Crystal Bluebell who reviewed every chapter in one sitting. That's hardcore.**

* * *

><p><em>Darren took a sip of his wine and sighed. Ever since the riot had broken out in town square, half of the citizens had been giving him dirty looks. The other half seemed to revere him as a god, but he wasn't sure why. He was just trying to advocate his cause for himself and others, but he wasn't trying to lead a revolution. But now everybody thought that that was his intention, so he decided to lay low for the time being. Tonight, he was just sitting in the back corner of the bar with a few of his "followers" (they referred to themselves as that, despite his pleading.) They had been playing cards for the past hour, but now they were talking.<em>

"_We need a plan. A real plan. None of this 'wait and see' crap. We need action!" Gordy stated confidently. He was a real spitfire, but that kind of overconfidence could be dangerous._

"_I never said wait and see," Darren reminded him, "I said we shouldn't rush into anything. Keep pushing our point, and hopefully we can get across to them, you know?"_

"_No, I don't 'know.'" Gordy grumbled. "They're never going to pass any allowance to us. We're outsiders. They said so themselves. We need to jump on any opportunities we can get to-"_

"_Negotiate," Darren cut him off. "We need to negotiate before we do anything stupid. Keep in mind that we're outnumbered. Even though we have about half of this town on our side, some of them could turn on us if we act rash. Plus, I don't want to become a criminal, or we will be to them what they think of us." He rubbed his fingers together pensively as he observed some of the villagers at another table. Duke was one of them. Just the sight of the man was enough to make him scowl. "Also, not all of them think of us as lower class. Only a few of them."_

"_Yeah, but the ones who count are on the council," Tosha said sadly. The young seamstress was a young dark skinned woman of about twenty-five or so. She always had an intense look on her face, no matter her emotion. "Anna, Duke, the mayor, even though he won't admit it-"_

"_What about Jack?" Darren brought up. "He seemed like he would be on our side. I haven't talked to him yet but-"_

"_Big deal," Gordy interrupted when Darren brought up his boss. "Jack is on our side, but he won't talk about it. I've tried several times to get him to talk with me, but he said his opinions are best kept to himself. I'm pretty sure the council is ostracizing him too, so he won't be of much help anyway." He drank the last of his wine. _

_"We need to take action, because nothing is going to change unless we make it happen." _

_"Well then Gordy, what would you suggest?" Darren asked calmly._

"_Well… I don't actually h-have a-"_

"_I have an idea," Tosha said, breaking Gordy's awkward stuttering._

"_Well shoot," Darren told her._

"_Okay, you know how they keep all the boats on the dock guarded 24/7?" she asked. Both of the men nodded. _

_"Well, they do that so we can't steal a boat and leave, obviously. Taking a boat would be impossible without fighting off the guards, which would be very foolish." She looked over at Darren specifically now. "Now Darren, you know how they have a law here now that prevents you and the woodcutters from building anything without a permit? That law is only in place to keep us from building boats without the mayor knowing. If we were to get a woodcutter to build us a boat or boats, we could supply them with some of the extra food and supplies that the town has in storage, bring them over to part of the southern wall where there are no frequent patrols, and ship off. There are likely to be other settlements within a weeks worth of paddling from here, so if we have a map-"_

"_No," Darren stated firmly. "This is a bad and risky idea. I will not risk anybody's wellbeing over such a criminal plot."_

"_But-"_

"_Forget it Tosha, I will not endorse this. We need a peaceful way out of this, or we won't be any better than the people who oppress us." He stood up and stretched. "I'm getting another drink." He walked away and Tosha groaned in defeat._

"_I knew he'd turn that idea down. His moral compass is too damn strong to do anything 'bad' whatsoever.." _

_"Don't feel bad," Gordy said in an attempt to make her feel better, "it was a good idea."_

"_Maybe, but if he doesn't like it-" _

"_Forget about him for a moment," Gordy whispered, as if Darren might hear his blasphemy. "Maybe we don't need Darren for this. Maybe he's just too soft to make a change. Maybe we need to do this ourselves."_

**Chapter Fifteen: Utility's Thorns**

_Date: December 31__st__ 2011, Saturday, 4:00 PM_

December had flown by in a whirlwind of events. Along with the holidays, there had been a lot of tension between the villagers ever since the riot had broken out. It did add some excitement to the normally stagnant life of a farming village, but it wasn't a good kind of excitement. Something was going to happen soon. Jack could feel it in his blood.

"You alright?" Elli asked. The two of them were spending the Saturday together (they had made it their day permanently since Elli had her day off switched to Jack's) by reading together on the couch, though Jack had been staring at the same page for nearly five minutes now.

"Yes love," he replied, touching her leg with his hand. "I'm just feeling a little bit distracted, I guess."

"Why?" she asked.

"It's this book. I can't get past this page." He lifted his eyes to see Elli's. "I just don't feel like reading right now, I guess."

"Do you want to do something else then?" she asked sweetly.

"Yes," he whispered. He dropped the book on the ground and started to kiss her.

"Jack, stop it!" she laughed as she pushed him away. "What if Kai and Popuri walk in?"

"Let 'em look, I don't mind putting on a show if you don't," he said suggestively. Elli rolled her eyes and punched his arm.

"You are so weird," she sighed, putting her book down so she could but her arms around him. "I don't think I could do that."

"Eh, I figured," he chuckled. "So do you want to go to Mother's Hill tonight for New Years, or the party at the inn? I'm fine with either one."

"Let's go to the inn," she suggested, "it's really cold outside. I'd rather be where there's warmth."

"I'll be there to keep you warm," he whispered softly. "But the inn it is then. We can get a drink, talk with our friends, celebrate the new year with them… then maybe we could celebrate some more… just the two of us."

"Hmm… I'll think about it," she replied, smiling. "One thing at a time now, okay?"

"Sure," he said. He moved in to kiss her again, but he didn't make it as the front door opened and Kai burst in.

"Jack, we have a problem," he stated in a serious tone. "Get somebody else to deal with it, I'm-"

"This is serious," he interrupted gravely.

"Fine, what is it?" he asked, annoyed now that Kai was interrupting his day of rest.

"See for yourself," he replied as he motioned for Jack to follow.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," he told Elli before kissing her on the forehead. Letting out an exasperated groan, he stood up, went over to the front door, and put on his boots so he could follow Kai through the snow. It didn't take them long to get to the storehouse where Kai had lead him. Once inside, Jack looked around suspiciously.

"What's all this? Why did you bring me here?" he asked.

"Some of our stored food has gone missing," Kai answered. "You wouldn't be able to tell at a glance, but Lea, our storage overseer, was bringing in some milk to be stored when he noticed that some of the jerky is missing. Nearly a fourth of it to be exact."

Jack gave him a funny look. "Jerky? Why would anybody steal jerky?"

"I don't know, protein? Point is, it's not the only thing missing. We're also missing two apple sacks and several heads of lettuce, and none of it is on record for distribution to the market, the inn, or our workers. Bottom line, we got a lot of stuff missing. Somebody is a thief." Jack stared at a shelf of dried greens and began running all of the information through his head. "Was the lock on the door forced?"

"No. Somebody used a key, and the only people who have keys to this shed are you, Flint, Lea, and myself."

"Well, you don't have a reason to steal food since you eat what we have in my house, Flint wouldn't be able to do this without getting caught, given his forgetfulness-"

"So it has to be Lea then," Kai said, but Jack shook his head.

"I don't think so. Lea has never been any trouble. Besides, why would he report food was missing if he was the one stealing it? He's probably the only one keeping track of the food and its quantities, so nobody else would probably notice if it was gone…" He paused again to think. "Somebody must have stolen one of our keys and got them back to us before we realized they were gone. Question is, who?"

"Well, what do you suggest?" Kai questioned.

"I'll go and see if Harris can spare a guard to come stand on post, just in case the thief comes back. In the meantime, we need to start questioning everybody and the managers who work under you so we can get a figure for who was on duty when. The sooner we catch the perp, the better."

"Jack, people are going to be getting ready for New Years when the work is done. Nobody is going to want to be interrogated over some missing jerky tonight. I mean, it's important, but it's not like it can't-"

"Fine…" Jack agreed, "But tomorrow. I don't care if it's New Year's day. We need to find out who did this so that it doesn't happen again."

"Okay," Kai agreed. "I'm gonna take a shower. Lock up after you leave." He exited the storehouse leaving Jack alone with his thoughts.

_Who did this? And why? We haven't been robbed in… I don't think we've ever been robbed. There's no reason. Everybody gets enough to eat. Why would they rob us… and for jerky for that matter? _"Something will happen soon," he said to himself. "It's no longer just a feeling because it's already happening."

* * *

><p>"Only thirty minutes till midnight," Karen said cheerily as she sat down next to Jack. "You gonna drink that?" she asked, referencing his half empty glass of red wine.<p>

"Nah, I need to save room for midnight. I don't want to be completely out of it," he replied. He felt "out of it" to begin with since his mind was still wandering on the burglary that had happened, so consuming anymore alcohol wouldn't help.

"Jack, you're so boring now," Karen teased. "I remember when you used be able to drink as much as I could, but now… It's a holiday. What do you have to be sober for anyway?"

"Use your imagination," Jack replied. Karen caught the direction of his gaze, which lead to Elli, who was talking with some of the clinic's other employees.

"Oh, I see," Karen said, her smile holding a million implications. "She doesn't like it when you get drunk?"

"Um, sure, let's go with that," he replied, though that wasn't the complete reason.

"So have you two done anything ye-"

"I'm not a kiss and tell kind of guy," he cut her off. "If you want to know anything about our private life, you can try asking Elli, but I doubt she'd tell you either."

"Really?" Karen laughed, "You're not a kiss and tell kind of guy? That didn't stop you from telling me about your five minutes at the la-"

"I knew that you'd bring that up at some point," Jack sighed as he shook his head. "I need some water." He stood up and walked to the bar while Karen was still laughing at him. As much as he liked hanging out with her, the moment had just turned into one that he wanted to escape… only for him to walk right into another awkward scene.

"Hey Jackie," Lola's voice chimed as she leaned against the bar next to him. Though she was looking at him, her eyes weren't focusing. Jack wondered how many drinks she had downed. "How's it going buuud?"

"Um… fine?" he began trying to put together a reason to get away from her. Unlike Karen, Lola could get quite intolerable when she was drunk as well as uncomfortably affectionate. "Look, I have to get back to El-"

"You are SUCH a good friend to me!" she interrupted him in an unreasonably loud voice as she hugged him, causing his body to freeze up. "I've been thinking about that advice you gave me and it's sooo good! How are you so smart Jack?"

"I… uh…"

"Jack, I-" Elli said as she approached. "Oh. Hello Lola." Her last line was stiff.

"Oh, I get it. Your girlfriend wants you all to herself," Lola giggled. "I'll catch you later Jackie." With that, she staggered off.

"Thanks, I needed that," Jack sighed in relief.

"I don't understand why you hang out with her," Elli groaned. "After what she did to Beth and Phil and everything. I mean, does she even have any redeeming qualities?"

"I think she is trying to get better," Jack replied, "but that might just be wishful thinking. And besides, what ever happened to that whole 'there's good in everybody' line that you always pull on me with Kai and Popuri?" He smiled as he brought up the contradiction, but Elli still looked upset.

"Yeah, well, maybe I'm wrong," she sighed. She looked troubled from something else now.

"Everything okay?" Jack asked. "Did I say something?"

"No, it's not you I'm worried about ," she admitted. She moved herself closer to Jack and shot him a devious look. "Maybe I'm just the jealous type."

"You don't need to be jealous," he assured her as he wrapped his arms around her waist, "you're the one who matters to me. I love you." The last words that slipped out of his mouth shocked him more than they did Elli. The moment they were in wasn't perfect or cliché enough, but it was too late to take back what he said.

"I-I'm sorry, what did you say?" Elli stuttered, still in shock and unsure how to respond.

Knowing that he would have to "roll with" what he had just said, Jack moved his face closer to hers. "I think you heard me right," he whispered, smiling warmly. She returned the smile, though she was still blushing at the surprise.

"I love you too," she murmured in reply. "I didn't see you coming with that I guess."

"Well you know me, I pride myself on unpredictability," he replied. To prove his point, he kissed her before she could give any response, but the moment was cut short by an "ahem." Jack and Elli turned to see Harris, who was standing next to them, looking uncomfortable.

"Jack, I'm sorry to bother you, but we're having a… well, it's a private matter. Can you meet with us in the kitchen?"

"Sure," he sighed. He brushed Elli's cheek with his index finger as if to say "I'll be back soon." He followed the officer back to the kitchen where there were a few other people waiting, Rick and Kai included. The group was standing in a back corner where they wouldn't get in the way of the chefs that were still cooking up food. "What's going on here?" Jack asked.

"Jack, you alerted me earlier about the theft that took place in your storehouse," Harris reminded him. "Well, you weren't the only one. There were also robberies of the inn this morning, the clinic this afternoon, and the poultry farm just now."

"Wait, what?" Jack questioned in anger. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier? We could have found out who was committing these robberies if we were aware that they were happening in the first place-"

"Jack, calm down!" Harris ordered. "We didn't want to cause a big fuss. Last thing we need in times like these is more chaos." He clutched his forehead in his hand. The officer wasn't handling the stress of his job so well. It was Rick who broke the pause.

"One of my employees saw somebody leaving the chicken coop with a few birds in tow, but he couldn't catch up with the culprit. We're missing two hens and a rooster. He says that the thief ran through your farm but he wasn't sure where to."

"Okay, what's the plan then?" Jack asked.

"Well," Harris began, "I have several guards on patrol in town, just in case the thief comes back. The rest of you will be going on patrol in the southern properties and forest. Kai, go back and count the chickens you currently have on your farm and make sure that the thief didn't try to hide the stolen birds there. If you have any hunches, come and talk with me before you do anything rash. Understood?" Everybody nodded. "Then let's go. And not a word to anybody about what we're doing." The group left the kitchen and began to head for the door, but Jack went over to Elli first.

"Everything alright?" she asked, concerned.

"I have to go do something," he told her sadly. "Harris's orders."

"What is it?" she asked, but Jack shook his head.

"I can't say yet. I'll tell you when it's over," he said. "I'm sorry, we might have to rain check tonight…"

"I understand…" Elli was obviously upset, but she understood that this wasn't Jack's choice. She hugged him and whispered, "be safe," as if she had an idea of what was going on.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." He kissed her cheek and left her embrace. It seemed that his feelings of uneasiness had infected her as well.

* * *

><p>Jack was standing outside of the chicken coop, waiting for Kai to report back to him with the chicken count, lit lantern in tow. It was getting close to midnight so there was no way he'd make it back in time for the celebration. Still, there were more important things to do. He had brought his rifle and bow, but he hoped he wouldn't have to use either of them.<p>

"Same count as this morning," Kai said as he exited the coop. "Wherever those birds are, they're not here."

"Okay then," Jack said sternly. "Go talk to anybody who's in the worker house and give the place a thorough search."

"And you?" Kai asked curiously.

"I'm going Gotz's. Gonna ask if I can check his premises for anything that seems off."

"Okay, good luck with that." As the two separated, Jack groaned deeply. He doubted that he'd find anything incriminating on the woodcutter's property. He just wanted to go back to the party or at least back home with Elli, but for all he knew, he'd be out until the morning.

"Goddess, this blows," he muttered. But as he dropped his head in sadness, he saw something red sticking out in the snow. Curious, he walked up to the patch of snow where the red color was so he could get a closer look. It was a chicken feather, just resting in the snow. "That's weird," he muttered to himself. "We don't take the chickens outside in the winter. Why is this here?"

Then the truth hit him like a brick: it must have been dropped by one of the chickens that the thief stole. But there was nothing else next to where the feather was sitting. He was looking for footprints, but if there were any, the wind and the snow had erased them from existence. But that wasn't stopping Jack. He brought his fingers to his lips and let out a loud, tweeting whistle. Brody emerged from his doghouse and eagerly barreled towards his master.

"Okay boy, smell this and follow the trail if you can," Jack encouraged as he held the feather out to the dog. He wasn't quite sure if Brody would be able to sniff out the perpetrator in the snow, but it was worth a shot. After sniffing the feather for a few seconds, Brody let out a happy bark and began to follow the nearby scent. Teaching his dog how to track things was really paying off.

The dog led his master down the southern path and into the south woods. _Wow, so the thief isn't on Gotz's land. Maybe he went down to South Flowers. Who in South Flowers would steal from us? _The only person Jack could think of who was from South Flowers was Lola, but that was because he had only been there once. But if the thief was from Mineral Town, it would be foolish for them to go to South Flowers to hide out, given how small the population was there. But he soon realized that the thief did not go to South Flowers. Brody had stopped next to the wooden wall on the South-East end of the island. It was the wall that hadn't been built over with stone yet, but why Brody had led him to this wall was beyond him.

"Is this really where the trail leads?" Jack asked his dog, but Brody just wagged his tail. "Okay then…" Jack sighed. He thought his hunch had failed him until he noticed some strange ropes that were attached to the nearby tree branches and the tops of the wall. It was as if somebody were trying to do some heavy lifting, but it definitely wasn't the stone masons since the point of the wall where Jack and Brody were standing at wasn't being operated on by the builders. _What's going on here?_

"Okay, do we have everything?" he heard somebody on the other side of the wall say.

"Yeah, let's shove off before it's too late."

_Who's that?_ _There are people on the other side of the wall. _After putting the lantern down_, _he touched the wall and after taking a deep breath, he climbed up the bumps that were protruding on his side. It was difficult with the dim light, but it didn't take too long. He immediately flattened himself on the floor of the wall top and pulled for his bow and a single arrow. _Okay, here we go._ He stood up and pointed his arrow at the people in the boat. "Freeze!"

What he saw astounded him. There was a large wooden sea rowboat sitting on the shore below him next to the wall. The boat itself was stuffed with goods and supplies, namely food and the three chickens in a wire cage. Among the stolen things were three people. He immediately recognized Gordy, one of his farm workers. The second person he recognized was Tosha, who was a seamstress, though he didn't know her that well. The third person was one of Gotz's carpenters, but Jack couldn't remember his name. The young man looked terrified.

"Oh Jack, it's just you," Gordy sighed in relief. "I thought it would be-"

"Shut up!" Jack interrupted. "In the name of our town's laws, I'm placing all three of you under arrest for theft, building without a permit, and attempted leaving without permission from the council. I want all of your hands in the air, and no sudden movements. All I need to do is lift a finger and you're dead." The hands of the carpenter immediately shot into the air, but Tosha and Gody didn't budge. Suddenly, Gordy began to laugh like a maniac.

"Hahaha, are you being serious with me?" he laughed. "I thought of all people-"

"Don't play with me Gordon," Jack interrupted again. "Put your hands up and come quietly, or I'll-"

"Or what?" Gordy continued maniacally, "you gonna shoot me? There's three of us and only one of you."

"I will shoot you if you don't work with me here," Jack said gravely.

"You don't have the balls," Tosha jumped in. "You wouldn't kill your own people."

"Watch me," Jack muttered as he pulled the arrow back even further.

"So this is how I'm going to die, huh?" Gody chuckled sarcastically. "Over a few stolen chickens and some food nobody will miss? Please, even you don't think this is right, do you?"

"It wasn't right of you to steal in the first-"

"And to think, I thought you would be the most understanding, Jack. You were always trying to let the mayor let us leave, but here you are trying to stop us. Don't you-"

"You're not going to get very far out there with that little boat," Jack assured them, but Gordy just rolled his eyes at this.

"How do you know?" Gordy shouted back. "We're fighting back! We're going to get help so we can help the others leave! If you were the saint you claimed to be, you'd let us go! We're doing this in the name of justice!"

"This isn't justice! Stealing is wrong!"

"And killing isn't, you hypocrite!" Tosha screamed. "Why not let us leave if you care about the cause so much?"

"My loyalty lies with the town and its citizens," Jack clarified. "Because the town os the only reason we're alive, I will enforce its laws, even if I disagree with them."

"So you're just a drone," Gordy clarified. "You know Jack, I was wrong about you. You claim you're on our side, but you're just Thomas's guard dog. You're no better than any of the scum on the council, even though they look down on you like they do us. So how about you run along now and avoid this moral dilemma and let us do the right thing, huh?" _Am I doing the right thing? Killing them over theft is harsh, but I can't let the law go unbroken. If I do, I could lose my position, and I'll never be able to help them the right way. But if I kill them, I'll be a monster, and they'll be martyrs. That won't help either. _The courses of action swirled in his brain, but he knew what he had to do. _Bluff._

"I will kill you. I don't want to, but I will," Jack assured them.

"So it comes to this…" Gordy said with a chuckle. "Fine Jack, we'll come quietly." He slowly began to raise his hands, but instead of following through, he suddenly reached for his pistol…

It never left the holster. In less than a second, an arrow went through his eye and out the back of his skull. Gordon let out a bloodcurdling scream before collapsing in place. As his body fell, Tosha already had her rifle out and she shout at Jack, the bullet just barely missing his shoulder. He immediately hit the deck and threw his bow to the side. Instead, he shifted his rifle into his hands and knelt upwards to get a clean shot at Tosha. The bullet went straight into her chest and she fell backwards into the water. Jack took aim at the carpenter, but his hands were up.

"Please don't shoot me!" he cried out in panic. "I'll be good! I'll be good!"

"Good," Jack replied in a shaky voice. "Now I want you to climb up here and come with me. Try anything funny, and I'll shoot."

"Okay, okay, I'm coming…"

As the frightened carpenter began to climb the wall, Jack felt himself shivering in the now January breeze. _I did the right thing. They were going to shoot me. I did it in self-defense. _But as he looked at Gordy's body, now covered in his own blood, Jack was unable to convince himself that he did the right thing.


	18. Chapter Sixteen: Sweet Sleeplessness

**Yeah, yeah, I know, it's been awhile. Finals + Team Fortress 2 addiction = no time for writing. Any of you readers have a steam account? It would be fun to play TF2 with y'all.**

**Reader response:**

_ It´s getting really dull reading Jacks conversation with the voice in his head because it´s always the same conversation with different words_

**When was the last time I did the voice? A few chapters ago, but I don't do it every chapter. Really though, it's only going to make a few more "appearances" from here on out, and I already have different monologues prepared. That, and I have to keep the voice in the story because it is relevant to Jack's character.**

** But I digress.**

* * *

><p><em> It was nearly two o'clock in the morning now on New Years Day. Even though Elli had work in the morning, she was still awake and waiting in the bar for Jack to return. She still had a terrible feeling about what was going on, and she felt so helpless. What could Jack possibly be called to check at this hour? <em>

_ "I shouldn't worry," she told herself. "Jack is smart. He'll be fine." But she couldn't shake the uneasiness that plagued her mind. "Maybe I should go back to Jack's and try to get some sleep. Or maybe I'll just nap at the clinic until morning. It'll save me some time." Still, she doubted that she would be able to sleep if Jack was still out there, but she would need some rest if she wanted to be ready for her shift._

_ "Jack will understand," she told herself, still feeling unassured. She left the bar and began her walk back to the clinic. Surprisingly enough, there were quite a few people heading north as well. Even though it was New Years Day, the number of people in the same general location at two in the morning was odd. Then she saw it: a crowd of people standing outside of the church. "What's going on?" she asked, but nobody answered her as they were all talking amongst themselves. She looked around for somebody she knew and she saw Kai standing near the door of the old building. After pushing her way through the crowd, she managed to reach him and then tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention._

_ "Elli!" Kai exclaimed in genuine surprise. "You're still up?"_

_ "Yes, I'm worried about Jack," she explained frantically. "What's happening here?"  
><em>

_"Jack's in the church. The council is having an emergency meeting inside," Kai began to explain. "There was a robbery on several business places in town, and the people responsible tried to escape the island in a boat that they made without a permit."_

_ "Oh, okay," Elli sighed in relief. "Is everybody okay? Did anybody get hurt?"_

_ "Jack killed two of them," Kai blurted out, but then a regretful look emerged on his face for bringing it up to Elli. "But… they tried to kill him, so… it's okay. I mean, it's not okay, but-"  
><em>

_"I get it," Elli interrupted. Even though it was somewhat bothersome that Jack killed people that lived in the town rather than raiders, she felt a rush of relief that he was okay. But even so…_

_ "Look, do you need me to walk you home?" Kai questioned. "They're not going to be done in there for quite some time."_

_ "No, I'm sleeping at the clinic," she told him. "I need to get some rest. If you see Jack before I do, tell him that I want to see him as soon as possible, okay?"_

_ "Okay," Kai agreed._

_ Elli left the crowd and began a slow walk to the clinic. She wanted to see Jack and make sure he wasn't going crazy over this recent turn in events. She remembered how he had once told her that killing raiders had become so routine that it didn't bother him anymore. Was killing lawbreaking villagers becoming like that to him as well? Jack seemed very disturbed by his desensitizing towards killing whenever it was brought up, so she couldn't imagine how he was feeling at the moment._

_ "Just hold on Jack," Elli murmured to herself. "just hold on for a little while longer."_

**Chapter Sixteen: Sweet Sleeplessness**

_Date: January 1st 2012, Sunday, 2:57 AM_

_ This night is never going to end… _It was almost three in the morning now and it still wasn't over. The council had met briefly, but they had not reached a conclusion yet on what needed to be done. Now, Jack was sitting in the entrance room of the small jail that the town had constructed, though they rarely held anybody in the place for longer than the interrogation process. The renegade carpenter (whose name was Douglas) was the subject of the interrogation, though given how easily he had given up, the process probably wouldn't take that long.

Yet the minutes seemed to drag on endlessly, giving Jack the feeling that he had hours to be alone with his thoughts, none of which were pleasant. _I killed townspeople, _he kept repeating in his mind. Sure, they were breaking the law and they would have killed him if he didn't shoot first, but the act of killing them… it scared him how easily he was able to go through with the killing. The way he gunned them down was in the same way he would gun down raiders that he had no association with… Gordy was one of his workers. Sure, he was never close with the guy, but it still bothered him how easy it was for him to kill somebody that he worked with on a daily basis.

_I just wish I could go to sleep. _And yet sleep would not come. The room was cold and dark, and the bench he was sitting on was too hard for him to get comfortable. As he leaned back against the wooden paneled wall, he noticed that the handle of the door to the outside was turning. _Who could that be? _As the visitor entered the room, the dark surrounds seemed to get warmer.

"Elli," Jack said with a warm smile, "you should be asleep."

"I know, but I couldn't," she replied in a tired, but soothing voice. "I've been worried about you all night and I just wanted to see you."

"Well I'm glad to see you too. Still, surprised the guard let you in. This is some serious stuff."

"I told him I was bringing you tea , and he didn't ask any questions," Elli told him as she sat down next to Jack and handed her a thermos. "It's black grass tea. It'll help you relax."

"Thank you," he whispered in response. He took a sip and scrunched his face at the taste. The tea was extremely bitter, but it heated up his body immensely.

"You don't like it?" Elli asked sadly. Jack couldn't help but notice how gorgeous her eyes looked at that moment, even in the dim light.

"Nonsense, it's the best thing I've had all day," he reassured her. After giving her a quick kiss on the cheek as thanks, he continued to down the warm liquid as Elli leaned in closer to him. After he finished the last bit of the drink, he let out a soft sigh before resting his head on Elli's, which was resting on his right shoulder.

"You okay?" she murmured, concerned.

""What do you think?" he grumbled back, but he regretted the tone he said it in, given that Elli had gone to thee trouble to bring him tea. "I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean it like that. I just… goddess…"

"You want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Not really… not right now. I just want to sleep. It's just too goddamn uncomfortable in this room."

"Here," Elli said as she removed her head from his shoulder and touched his shoulder with her hand and slowly motioned for him to lay his head on her lap. "Better?"

"Yes, but I don't want to keep you. You have work in the morning too and-"

"Jack, it's fine," she replied in a soothing voice that matched the sweet smile on her face. "Close your eyes."

"Fine, you win," he replied. It was too early in the morning for him to argue with her. His eyes slid shut and within the minute, he felt his head begin to spin.

"Happy New Year Jack," she whispered.

_Yeah… I hope it's better than the way it started._

* * *

><p><em> The lake again. Jack was sitting under the old willow tree by the lake where he became a man.<em>

_ "Become a man…" Jack chuckled. That phrase always made him laugh. The idea that sex was a right of passage was silly, especially in the ways that it could be tragic, like what happened to Elli._

_ Elli… when he was next to the lake, the name seemed foreign. That day at the lake was perfect. It was a day that he wish he could relive again and not just in his memories. But it was thoughts like that that Dr. Travis said would hurt him. "You have to let go of the past completely if you want a happy future," he had told him numerous times. But the allure of those archaic memories were too much for him to resist._

_ "I thought you'd be here," said a familiar voice. Jack turned his head to see Kassie sitting next to him, that devious grin on her face hat always held a secret worth finding out._

_ "Wow… this is really weird…" Jack responded as he reached to touch his former girlfriend's face, but though she was only inches away, the dimensions of the dream wouldn't allow him to do so. "Usually when you're here, you turn into Karen or something blows up."_

_ "You expected that to happen, didn't you?" she asked. "Especially after what happened to you tonight. You always get those dreams under a stressed mind."  
><em>

_"You know about what I did?" Jack asked. _

_ "Jack, I'm a mental representation of your memories. I know what you're thinking about," she giggled._

_ "Wow, way to totally break the fourth wall," he laughed. The funny thing was how dream Kassie's sense of humor was pretty much on par with how she normally would have acted. _

_ "Well, I think I may know why this dream is sweeter than normal," she told him. _

_"Right now, you're in the care of somebody that you love."_

_ "Oh yeah… you do know about that, huh?"_

_ "Of course Jack but it's alright," she said. _

_ "Is it?" he asked. "I told you that I loved you and that I'd see you again and-"  
><em>

_"Jack, I would want you to move on. Do you think I would want you to be alone forever and moping?"_

_ "No…" Jack sighed. "But-"_

_ "But nothing," Kassie snapped, "you need her and you know it! And she needs you. So quit being such as goddamn pussy and living in the past."_

_ "Kassie-"_

_ "No excuses!"_

_ "I was going to say you're right," Jack said._

_ "Oh, well of course I am," she agreed. "So get back on your feet Jack, for me, for her, and for yourself, okay?"_

_ "Okay, I will," he said._

_ "Promise?"  
><em>

_"Promise."_

_ "Good." She reached out and touched his cheek. "You'll be alright Jack." After retracting her hand, she stood up and walked away. At first, he wanted to follow her, but upon thinking about what she had said, he knew she would rather him not. Instead, he just closed his eyes and fell into another dream._

* * *

><p>When Jack woke up again, he didn't feel refreshed like he normally would have after a good night's sleep. The clock on the wall now read 6 AM, but it felt like it should have been later.<p>

Looking up at Elli, he noticed that she was sleeping while sitting up. Slowly so he wouldn't wake her, he sat up and gently took her by the shoulders and brought her head down to his lap. While doing this, he heard her murmur something in contentment. Once her head was settled on his lap, he ran his fingers through her silky brown hair. It was strange what how he was feeling in that moment. All the things that Kassie had told him in the dream were things that everybody else had been telling him all along, but hearing it from her, or at least the representation of her in the dream, seemed to help him much more than what anybody else had told him. But these good feelings were mixed with the emotions that were still inside him from the killings he had to go through with. Eventually, Elli would want to talk with him about it, and when the time came, he wasn't sure if he'd know what to say to her.

"Geeze, when did everything get so stupid?" he grumbled under his breath. He rested his head against the wall behind him, but sleep wouldn't come. _When are they gonna let me go home?_

Finally when it was almost seven, a front door opened and the mayor and Officer Harris entered the room. They both looked exhausted.

"Wait, you guys were out there? I thought you were interrogating Douglas!" Jack asked with a groan.

"We did," Harris answered, not being careful to keep his voice quiet around the sleeping Elli. "He was easy to crack. It was pretty obvious that he was just a pawn in the whole operation, so we're going to go easy on him."

"Going easy on him?" Jack asked inquisitively. At this point, Elli was beginning to stir.

"One month in the cell, two years under surveillance." The mayor informed him.

"You still didn't answer my first question," Jack continued in a slightly irritated voice. "I've been up all night after killing a bunch of renegades, and you just left me here after you were done? I need to work the farm and I'm exhausted!"

"We had an emergency meeting with the high council," Thomas explained, "but we need you for our second interrogation."

"Second interrogation?" he asked dumbly. "I killed the other two deserters. Who else do we have talk too?"

"Darren Crowe," Harris said bluntly.

"Darren Cro- Why?" Jack asked, confused. Just then, like clockwork, the door opened again, and Darren entered, escorted by a guard.

"You wanted to see me?" the dark haired, tan skinned man asked calmly.

"Yes, we need to have a little chat," Harris said sternly. "In my office please. Jack, you come too!" he ordered. Harris then took Darren by the shoulder and led him to one of the back room, Thomas on his tail. Jack turned to Elli, who was now up and gave her a weak smile.

"I guess I'll see you tonight," he told the sleepy looking girl.

"Okay, I have to get to work anyway, so…" She gave him a quick kiss and hugged him tight. "We'll talk later, okay?"

"Okay, sure," he agreed halfheartedly. Then he left for Harris's office.

Harris's office was not nearly as fancy as his father's. There were only a few metal chairs and an old metal desk that looked like somebody had been shooting at it, given all the random dents and holes in it. "Please, have a seat," Harris said. Since there were only three chairs in the room, Harris and Thomas sat behind the desk while Darren sat in the third chair, and Jack remained standing by the door.

"You mind telling me what this is all about?" Darren asked in a stoic voice. The look in the man's eyes gave the impression to Jack that he already knew the answer.

"Mr. Crowe," Thomas began, "by now, you've heard about the three townspeople that tried to escape, correct?"

"Everybody has heard about that," the strong looking man answered simply.

"Well, we learned something very interesting," the mayor stated. "First of all, is it true that you were friends with Gordon Landry and Tosha Hall?"

"Well yes, we spent quite a bit of time toge-"

"Well that's not all we learned," the mayor continued. "Douglas Garner, the only man that survived the ordeal, said that you knew about their whole plan to escape. That Gordon and Tosha had told you about it before going through with it. Is this true?"

"Well I didn't think that they'd-"

"Answer the question!" Harris demanded, his voice suddenly sounding harsh.

"Harris, let the man talk," Jack said coldly. He wasn't about to let Darren be completely manipulated by the system.

"As I was saying," Darren continued in a stern tone, "I won't lie to you Mr. Mayor. About a month ago or so, we were playing cards at the bar when Tosha told me the plan, but I told her that it was a bad idea. I would never condone stealing, especially from a town that has been incredibly generous to us…" He looked down at his lap and shook his head. "I thought it was just talk. I didn't think they'd actually go through with it."

After a brief period of contemplating silence, Thomas gave a few glances between Jack, Darren, and his son. "Well, what do you two think? Is he telling the truth?"

"I think he is," Jack admitted. "He just told everything he knew without much pushing. I think he's clean.

"I don't know for sure," Harris disagreed. "Darren, we all know that your outspoken ways have gained you quite a following of supporters. How do we know you didn't have a hand in orchestrating this?"

"You have my word that I didn't."

"Yes, well, words can only tell us so much," Thomas informed him. "After what has happened tonight, we need to take measures to make sure that something like this never happens again."  
>"Wait, what are you suggesting for him exactly," Jack asked. He already didn't like where this situation was going.<p>

"Well, for one, Darren is already facing a charge for association with a conspiracy against this town's wellbeing," Thomas answered.

"You can't be serious!" Jack and Darren shouted at exactly the same time, causing the two to look at each other in confusion and amazement, "Mr. Mayor," Darren continued, "you have absolutely no proof that I was involved in this. You can't pin this charge on me!"

"Actually, we can pin you on a minor conspiracy charge," Harris told him. "You never came to the authorities when you were told about this plan by your friends. That's one month in a cell."

"Oh, come on!" Jack exclaimed angrily. "This is stupid! We all know he had nothing to do with this! You just need a scapegoat, and for what? The perpetrators are dead or imprisoned!"

"Jack, this is standard proced-"

"This is retarded as hell!" Jack interrupted, now seething with rage. "And don't tell me that this is a 'standard procedure!' If we're going to make a decision like this, we need to bring it to trial. There is absolutely no way that this is fair in any-"

"That's enough, Jack!" Harris shouted angrily. "Do you think that would do us any good? Half the people on the council would call for a higher punishment! This is the best thing we can do that will even be remotely fair!"

"But-"

"Go home, Jack!" the mayor ordered loudly. "Go home and get some sleep. Maybe after some rest, you'll realize that this was the best thing we could have done!"

* * *

><p>The mayor was wrong. All the rest in the world wouldn't change Jack's mind. Even though Thomas had made a good point about how the council would have been much harsher on Darren than sentencing him for one month, it didn't make the situation anymore just for a man who thought that his friends were just speculating an escape plan.<p>

It was almost nine o'clock at night now, and sleep still wouldn't come. Even though the mayor told Jack to sleep the whole thing off, he was unable to do so. There was farm work to be done, and since quite a few of his workers had taken New Year's Day off to nurse their hangovers, so he had more work than usual. He had been able to take a few naps here and there throughout the day, but he could never stay asleep for longer than an hour, and he really wanted more sleep to make up for what he had lost the night before. The only reason that he was not completely cranky from the lack of rest was because of the fire he started in the fireplace to warm up the house, and the wine that he was drinking straight from the bottle. Booze always seemed like a good answer to all of his problems, but the cause of so many others.

"I figured you'd be here still," Elli said quietly, as if not to disturb the peace, as she entered the front door. She was wearing an elegant looking blue dress and carrying a bowl filled with something that Jack was unable to identify.

"What are you all dressed up for?" he asked in a tired voice.

"The New Year's Day party, remember? I changed after work and went with Kim because she didn't want to go alone. I was hoping I'd see you there," she replied somberly.

"Well honestly Elli, I'm really not in the mood to be around people right now, so…"

"Okay, I understand," she said with a hint of sadness. "I have some left over noodles if you want any. I'll leave them in the fridge for you."

"Thanks," Jack replied, still staring into the flames while taking another gulp of wine. Moments later, Elli joined him.

"Look, I'm sorry I went. I should have come straight home. I know you're going through some tough-"

"It's fine. You're allowed to have fun with your friends," he told her before downing another mouthful of wine.

"How much have you drank?" she asked, concerned.

"Just a little bit," he mumbled. "I'll stop now, if you want me too."

"I do want you to," she admitted, trying to make eye contact with him. "You even said yourself that you have bad visions when you drink to much."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I just needed a bit of wine to calm me down. I really don't want to think right now."

"Think? Think about what?" Elli asked gently. Jack could see in her eyes that she was really concerned for him.

"About everything that I hate. I hate this town and the people who run it because it's so corrupt. I hate that I have to spend the rest of my life running a damn farm. I hate the entire world for firing nuclear strikes at each other and most of all, I hate myself and what I've become."

"What you've become?" Elli repeated. "Jack, it's not your fault that you hear voices or-"

"That's not what I'm talking about," he interrupted, feeling frustration in that Elli couldn't understand what he was talking about. "I'm talking about how I feel like I'm missing a part of my humanity. I killed two townspeople last night, one of whom worked for me! Sure, they would have killed me, but I felt no mental resistance in killing them. The only thing I was worried about was if they'd become martyrs for their cause if I did kill them! I mean, who thinks like that! I feel like a fucking monster and I hate it, Elli!"

He was about to fall back against the arm of the couch, but Elli grabbed his hands and held them firmly in hers. "Jack, you're not a monster," she assured him, but he shook his head.

"What would you call me then?" he questioned bitterly.

"I would… I would call you a person who was trying to do what you thought was right," she answered, but again, he shook his head.

"Doing what people thought was right is the reason that the world is now a nuclear wasteland," he reminded her.

"Jack, you may not see a difference, but I do," Elli responded softly. "I don't like killing anymore than you do, but if you didn't shoot them, you would have died, and I know you're not the type of person to let the crime they were committing go unpunished. And if you would have died, everything would go wrong. We need you Jack." She brought her face inches away from his. "I need you." She followed her words my merging her lips with his, and the two kissed for nearly a minute before Jack pulled away.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"I know, you're confused about everything," Elli guessed. "I just want you to know that you aren't a monster, Jack. You're one of the most caring people that I know. You always look out for others and everything, even when you should be looking after yourself. It's that selflessness…that's why I love you Jack. And that's my silver lining to this dark cloud of a world. If none of this, the bombs and everything, had ever happened, I would never have felt this way about you." Suddenly, Elli's face was contorted with guilt. "I know that's terrible of me to think, since if none of this did happen, you would be back at home with your friends and family and your girlfriend, but-"

"Elli, it's fine." Jack cut in, this time trying to play the part of the sympathetic one. "I feel the same way…" He felt his head spinning from the mental strain, so he laid back on the couch, nursing the pain in his skull with his hand. "It's weird, I keep thinking about what Phil said before he jumped off Mother's Hill. He was saying that we were all just 'living among the mushrooms,' or whatever. Given that he was drunk off his ass and half crazy, I never really understood what he meant by that, but I guess one interpretation is that everything is shit. I mean, even though we're living on an island, untouched by the radiation, there are still so many things that feel wrong. Or at lest they feel wrong to me…" Ignoring the pain in his head, Jack sat up and embraced with Elli, not willing to let go. "But you're my silver lining too and I love you, Elli. You have no idea."

"Oh, I think I might," Elli disagreed in a voice that just barely was above that of a whisper. At that moment, the two of them knew what the other was thinking, and they gave into their desires. As they both kissed, Elli slowly pushed Jack against the cushions of the couch, and her tongue traveled even farther into his mouth. Jack was beginning to get a strange feeling as he continued to kiss Elli. The only two things he could feel now was the heat from the fire and the warmth from Elli's body as it moved with his. It was as though they were one being made up of pure energy. It all felt so right, even in the hour of trouble.

"Elli," Jack gasped as he inhaled between the liplocks, "are Popuri and Kai still at the New Years Day festival?"

"I would assume so," she replied as she toyed with Jack's bangs with her index finger. He still hadn't cut them. "You want to take advantage of their absence?"

"Of course, but are you?" he asked. Even though Elli had suggested it, he was being careful as usual so it wouldn't be as though he was pressuring her into doing anything she wasn't ready for.

"I don't know, I'm still scared," she answered him, but she said it with a nervous laugh. Despite her history, and her fears, she made it evident to Jack what she wanted.

"Well let's see where this takes us," he answered, returning her smile with one of his own. Pushing Elli's body upwards slightly, he managed to squeeze out off the couch and onto the floor before scooping Elli into his arms. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, he kissed her again before slowly making his way towards his room with Elli in tow.

His room wasn't nearly as hot as the main room with the fireplace, but it was still comfortable, temperature-wise. Jack gently placed Elli on his bed before going back to kissing her. Throughout the passionate actions that the two were trading, Jack was beginning to feel a sense of inadequacy in his veins. "Elli," he murmured during a moment when he wasn't kissing her.

"Yes?" she asked as she began to work on his neck.

"I'll be honest… It's been years since I've done this," he admitted, though he knew that she already knew this. "I'm probably going to be extremely rusty, so-"

"Is that it?" she asked, laughing in her response before kissing Jack on the nose. "Jack, this is all new to me too. Just do what you know, okay?"

"Okay, okay," he sighed, trying not to think so hard. _Of course, the first time is never the greatest between two people. Just keep it simple. You already know what she likes, so go with that. _While Elli began to unbutton the red flannel he was wearing, he moved his lips down to her neck and began to stimulate her there as his lips and tongue moved about her skin. As he teased her, she let out a soft, pleasurable moan. _Perfect._

Seconds later, his button down shirt was off, and his lips had moved to the back of Elli's shoulders, causing her to shudder with every kiss. He loved how sensitive her skin was and how easy it was to please her. Firmly taking her shoulders, they sat up in the bed, still running their hands over each other's bodies while Jack began to undo the lacing on the back of Elli's dress. Meanwhile Elli pulled off Jack's shirt, which took his attention away from her dress for a few seconds. Though he had been eating more as of late, his body was still very gaunt, even with the lean muscle that he had built up from farming. But Elli didn't seem to care. Her lips moved to his upper torso. At this point, Jack had finally unwrapped all of the lacing that held the back of Elli's dress together, and let the elegant piece of her wardrobe fall around her.

This was the most naked Jack had ever seen Elli. Even when she was wearing her nightgown, she always wore undergarments, but now they were her last line of defense. Her body looked soft and white, untouched by the sun, and the bra she was wearing was only a few shades lighter, or so it looked to be that way in the darkness.

Elli was trembling, being that this was the farthest she had ever gone with Jack, but she was trying not to show the nerves that were bursting in her face.

"Do you want me to stop?" Jack asked in the most easygoing voice he could muster. Elli responded by shaking her head, so he pressed his lips against hers again before touching them to places on her exposed body. Elli had stopped kissing him, but she wasn't freezing up like she normally did. Her body, though shivering, was relaxed and passive. Her eyes were closed, but her mouth was still part open, allowing her to vocalize her feelings in brief sighs and moans as Jack continued his work. Finally, he brought his lips to hers again while undoing her bra easily. It was just like riding a bicycle: he never forgot.

"Oh," Elli gasped as she realized what Jack had just done. Before her bra could fall away fro her chest, her hands snapped to holding it in place. Her cheeks had taken on a nice rosy shade now, evident, even in the poorly lit room.

"Shhh, shhh," Jack replied in an airy whisper. He drew her body close to hers and kissed the top of her head while he allowed his fingers to caress her upper back before descending them to her lower back. As soon as his fingers reached the bottom of her back, he could tell that something wasn't right. Her skin n longer felt as smooth, but rough and worn. Slowly, he shifted his body around to see what it was, and was shocked at what he saw. Multiple long scars were clustered together on her lower back. Suddenly, the pieces to the puzzle were coming together: why he had never seen Elli swim before, why she never let his hands get too far on her back… it all made sense.

"Elli…"

"My father left those," she whispered as if she had read his mind and knew what he wanted to ask her. "Remember how I used to say that my father would beat me with his belt? Well…" She took one hand off of her bra and whiped her eyes a little bit. "I hate them. They're so ugly."

"That' horrible... but I don't think they're ugly," Jack whispered to her as he slowly ran his fingers down her skin. "They show me how much you've survived. How strong you are." What he did next was an incredible risk in his mind, but he decided to go with his gut. He lowered his head and gently began to kiss the scars on her back. Elli exhaled loudly while doing this, but he didn't know if her breathing was that of contentment or something else. Seconds later, he brought his face back up to hers from behind and kissed her, this time wetting his lips slightly from a loose tear that flowed from her eyes. He was about to pull away from her to give her some space so she could decide if she wanted him to continue, but like a mind reader would, she answered his questions before he could even vocalize them.

"Jack…" Elli whispered, "please don't stop. This all feels amazing, but I'm still scared. But please don't-"

"Elli," he whispered in her ear, "I love you so much, and I always will until death parts us. But I want you to want this too with all of your heart."

"I know. I'm just so nervous," she said in a miniscule voice that was barely audible to Jack, even though he was sitting directly behind her.

"Just do what I'm doing: let yourself become completely vulnerable and trust in me with all of your heart, soul, and mind." After saying this, he remembered that Kassie had told him the same thing in a time long ago. _Thank you._

Elli's eyes closed again and she leaned her head back so she was able to kiss Jack. "Happy New Year," he whispered to her while wrapping his arms around her waist. For the first time in their lives, Jack and Elli had completely given themselves to each other.

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><p><strong> I hope you enjoyed that lime, because I probably will not be writing any more of it for this story. It was supposed to be more passionate than erotic, but hey, if I made you feel uncomfortable, maybe I'm doing my job. Until next time…<strong>


	19. Chapter Seventeen: The Tipping

**So… we're gonna be hitting another slow point in this story… at least to me. But the again, I always know what's happening next, so that may be an issue… Next chapter!**

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><p><em>While it is commanded of us to love our neighbor, it is unwise to be led astray by those who do not share the same practice. - <em>Harvest 4:22

**Chapter Seventeen: The Tipping**

_Date: January 2__nd__ 2012, 12:58 AM_

_Damn, I would kill for a cigarette right now. _Jack was feeling that familiar craving again. Even after all the years that had passed, the desire to suck nicotine into his lungs was still there; it had just been dormant. The longer he thought about it, the more obvious it why the cravings had returned. In the past, nine out of ten times he had slept with Kassie, he had always smoked a cigarette afterward. It had become a ritual for him, given how good it felt to smoke after sex.

_Oh well, better get used to living without… again. _He was currently resting his head on his pillow while Elli's head rested on his naked chest. Things got really awkward, really fast after the two of them had finished up. Even though Elli seemed to have enjoyed herself, she ended up crying after they were through. He asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't tell him, so he did what he could to comfort her until she fell asleep. But even in the comfortable, warm room, he still was unable to fall asleep himself.

"I'm never going to be able to sleep again, I guess…" he groaned. Even though Elli was partially on his left arm, he still was able to move his forearm and hand. His fingers trailed down her back, taking in the soft feel of her skin. Though he did this gently so Elli wouldn't wake up, he began to feel her torso move. Her eyes, which were closed, scrunched up for a second while she let out a cute yawn. When her mouth closed again, she opened her eyes and gazed at Jack while a tiny smile crept up onto her face.

"Hey," she murmured in a soft tone. Her voice soothed his nerves. He began to wish he could build an addiction to her voice rather than any other drug he had tried in the past.

"Hey babe," Jack replied in a voice that was equally soft as hers. His fingers left her back and touched the tips of her hair, rolling the ends between his index finger and his thumb. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know… dirty?" she replied in a guilty voice just above a whisper.

"Oh…" That wasn't exactly the answer that Jack wanted to hear, but he tried not to show a negative reaction to it. But then he noticed that Elli was smiling again.

"But you know what? It feels good… it feels so good to be bad." She stretched her face close to his and the two kissed.

"Ha, what do you mean by that?" Jack asked as he pulled Elli's body even closer to his.

"It's just that… Grandma always told me to wait until I was married, because that's what God would want, but…" she trailed off.

"But what?"

"But when I'm with you, don't care what people think. I don't even care what God thinks. I'm just happy to be with you like this. I feel even closer to you know than ever before."

Jack was somewhat amazed at the things she said, but trying not to ruin the mood, he kept a cool composure. "I'm glad to be with you too. And it gets even better, so if you thought tonight was fun-"

"One day at a time, Jack," Elli interrupted in a giggle. She kissed him again. "I love you, Jack."

"I love you too," he replied. He let his finger slide across her cheek before she sat up in bed. "Going somewhere?"

"Yeah, do you mind if I take a shower?" she asked sweetly.

"That depends: can I join you?" he asked smoothly.

"Jack!" she laughed while punching hi lightly in the arm, "I'm only going to be in for a few minutes. I just want to get a quick rinse."

"Fine then, be that way," he teased. "I just thought we'd want to continue the fun while we still-"

"Jack, I'm tired, and we both have work in the morning, so-"

"Ugh, are we married now or something?" he joked.

"I'll be right back, I promise!" she repeated. She kissed him on the forehead before shifting off the bed, slipping into her nightgown that was left on the dresser, and left the room, giving Jack a cute wave before closing the door behind her.

"Damn, this is great," Jack muttered to himself as he placed his hands under the back of his head. He felt so relieved now that he knew that Elli was just as happy as he was. _Damn, how did everything turn out so great? Six months ago, I alone, and constantly contemplating suicide, but now… _Granted, things weren't perfect. The town was still divided by ideals, he had killed two former town members, and he still wanted a cigarette, but all things considered, nothing could ruin the night.

"_What is this? You think that don't need me anymore?"_

_I spoke too soon. _Jack didn't respond. He just hoped if he remained quiet, it would leave him alone.

"_Don't ignore me! You think that you don't-" _

"Look, can't you come back in the morning? I'm having a good-"

"_You're a fool, Jack. I suggest you enjoy this pleasure while it lasts, because it's only a matter of time before you lose it."_

"You're wrong," Jack said calmly. He wasn't about to let the voice get the best of him in his current state. "You were wrong about a lot of things. You said I could never truly love Elli, but we're closer than ever before. You said I would never be happy again, but we both know that to be false. I never needed you, and I never will, so I suggest you leave me alone before I-"

"_Before you what?" _the voice taunted. _"You don't have the medication to get rid of me, and there's no way I'll leave on my own. Not until we are done. Not until we're cleansed of this world's poison."_

It was the same thing that the voice always told Jack, but he didn't know how to respond. "You mean by ending my life?"

_"Correct. I will leave you for now, Jack, but remember: You lost everything that you held dear in your former life. Your loved ones, your dreams… It's only a matter of time before you lose what you love now too. When that day comes, you'll have nobody to turn too. Not dear old Dr. Travis, not Karen, and not that sweet girl that you just fucked. You'll just come crawling back to me, because I understand our pain more than anybody else ever will. I'll be waiting…" _And with that, there was silence.

"He's never going away…" Jack muttered to himself. _Just forget about it. It only wants to hurt me. Just ignore it. _But like always, that was much easier said than done. Even so, his thoughts drifted back to Elli. He still caught her scent in the air. _I hope she comes back soon. It never talks to me when there are others around._

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><p>The farm was always quiet in the winter. Since there were no crops to be planted and since the animals remained in the warm barns, the farmhands would quickly feed and groom the animals before retiring back to the worker's house or heading into town. Meanwhile, about six or seven children of the farm workers were out playing in the snow. The children of the town were something special. Since they weren't tainted by the current conflicts of the adults, they remained happy and innocent. They still knew of the dangers that existed on the other side of the walls, but they hadn't become hardened by the reality… yet.<p>

"Hey Mr. Slater, think fast!" one of the children shouted. Jack was walking to barn where Julie was setting up the horse and cart, but when he turned around towards the voice, he was smacked in the face by a cold ball of snow. He wiped the snow off his face to see a bunch of the workers' kids giggling. He could never remember any of the childrens' names, but it didn't really matter to him, especially not today. After the past few nights, he just felt so happy to be alive.

"Big mistake!" he shouted playfully at the child that through the snowball. He bent over forward and charged towards the kids, tackling two of them into the snow. The kids shrieked with laughter as they all piled on top of him, but he wouldn't let them hold him down. He began to wrestle with the wild lot, but he didn't fight back at full strength. He didn't want to hurt any of them, after all. After escaping the many hands, he picked the youngest, a girl of about four years or so, off the ground. She began to giggle at this as she tightly wrapped her arms around his neck while the other children were clawing at his legs and belt, trying to pull him back down to the earth. He wasn't quite sure why the children liked him so much, but he wasn't about to fight their affections.

"Jack, cart's ready!" Julie called from the barn doors.

"Okay, coming!" he replied. He placed the little girl on the ground and shook off the rest of the kids. "Gotta go kids. Don't catch a cold!"

"Bye Mr. Slater!" they all said happily, their voices jumbled together. Jack then ran over to the barn.

"Sorry about that," Jack apologized to his farmhand as he reached the barn. "It's just been so long since I've played in the snow."

"I understand," Julie laughed. "You're really good with kids, you know?"

Jack wasn't sure if the last part of Julie's response was flirting, or just her stating the obvious, but he didn't dwell on it. "Yeah, I guess. They really like me for some reason." He hopped up onto the cart and gave Boulder a pat on the back of his neck. "Thanks for doing this for me," he thanked her. "I'll make sure you get a bonus on your next payday."

"Gee, thanks Jack," Julie said, her cheeks turning the same color as her hair. She opened the barn door up wider, and Jack drove the cart out of the barn and onto the street.

The world was incredibly bright that day as the sunlight bounced off the snow and reflected into Jack's eyes. He squinted some, but the extra sunlight didn't bother him. It was great feeling giddy for seemingly no reason. The troubles of the town and the voice in his head wouldn't get to him that day: he wouldn't allow it.

"Hey Karen!" he exclaimed as he arrived at the supermarket. He hopped off the cart's seat and hugged her right away.

"Wow, somebody's in a good mood!" the blonde commented with laughter as she hugged him back.

"What can I say?" Jack replied suavely. "It's a beautiful day, and I feel like a million bucks."

"Really now? And why's that?" she asked curiously, a devious smile planted on her face.

"I don't know, I just feel so happy to be alive right now, I guess," he replied, though he knew that the generic answer wasn't going to fool Karen, and he began to regret saying anything. Knowing Karen, she would start harassing him for answers.

"Well, let me think," Karen pondered. "Men get really happy over three things: food, alcohol, and sex. Your breath doesn't smell like alcohol, so it's not that… you're still skinnier than me so it's not-"

"I'm not skinnier than you," Jack laughed.

"Well, you're almost as skinny as Rick," she joked. Jack chuckled at this, even though he didn't like it when people said he looked underfed. "It's not food, so it must be-"

"Conversation over. Count the produce," Jack interrupted, but Karen's eyes brightened.

"Oh my God, you and Elli did it!" she squealed.

"Shut up, I never said that!" Jack hissed. He knew for a fact that even though Elli didn't care what others thought, she wouldn't want the town gossiping about her. _Damn, how did she figure it out so easily.  
><em>

"Whatever, you never said it, but I can tell. You're extremely obvious, you know," she giggled childishly. "So what was it like?"

"I plead the fifth," Jack stated, trying not to give more away.

"You plead the what?" Karen asked, legitimately confused.

"Plead the fifth. It's… it's an American thing." He really didn't feel up to trying to explain to Karen the intricate details of the U.S. Constitution. "How long will it take you to unload the cart?"

"I'll get the boys on the job right away," she assured him. "Come back in fifteen minutes, and we'll have a figure for you."

"Thanks," Jack responded.

"Also, Jack," Karen continued, "if you won't tell me about your special night, I'll talk to Elli until she gives me the details." She winked at him after that threat, but Jack shrugged it off. He knew that Elli would never talk to Karen about that sort of thing.

"Yeah, good luck with that, I'll be back in a few," he said before taking a stroll down the street. _I really need a new book. _He decided to go to the library, but something else caught his eye. Two security guards were pushing a group of townspeople away from the path that led to the jailhouse.

"We want him out! He didn't do anything wrong!" one of them shouted.

"I don't care!" one of the guards replied in an equally loud voice. "You lot have caused enough trouble today, so I'm not going to let you in! Come back tomorrow."

"This is totally unfair!" a woman shouted.

"Hey, what's with all the commotion?" Jack asked. All of the villagers in the group turned and stared at him, half of them giving him dirty looks. Not everybody was exactly pleased with Jack after he killed their fellow visitors. "Well?"

"They kicked us out of the cell block!" one of the men said in a pissed off voice. "Darren is being unfairly punished, and he should be released immediately with a minor fine AT MOST!"

"What were you expecting? Them to just let him out the moment you started complaining?" Jack asked.

"No, but we're going to vocalize what we believe in!" a woman in the group shouted. "And what do _you_ care, Slater? You're not fooling any of us with your 'let them go home' crap. You killed Gordon and Tosha when they were trying to leave, so you're just one of the Mayor's pawns."

"It was either them or me," he replied coolly. Their words hurt him, but he wasn't about to let them have the last word. "Can I go in?" he asked the guards. "I'd like to speak with Darren."

"Sure Jack. You haven't been causing any problems. Go ahead," one of them said.

"Okay, thanks."

"Hey, he gets to go in! That's not fair! At least we didn't kill townspeople and-"

Jack pushed his way through the angry crowd and walked down the path to the recently built jail building. He opened the door, only to be bombarded by more shouting.

"I told you all, you can't- Oh, it's you Jack," Harris said, his tone changing mid-sentence. "I thought that angry mob had returned."

"No, but I ran into them when I was coming in," Jack admitted. "Do you… mind if I talk to Darren Crowe?"

"You? Sure, but why?" he asked.

Jack sighed. He didn't feel like he had to explain to Harris why he wanted to to talk with Darren. He just did. "I um… just want to see how he's holding up, I guess."

"Fair enough, I trust you." Harris stood up and unlocked the door to the cell block, allowing Jack to enter alone. The block only had a half-dozen cells, most of which were empty, save two. Douglas, the carpenter who had aided the escape attempt, was in the first one, sleeping on a cheap cot, muttering in his slumber. Darren was in the second cell, reading a thick-spined book. As Jack arrived at his cell, Darren looked up from his reading.

"Oh, hello Jack," he said casually with a smile, as if they were meeting on the street.

"Hello… Darren… can I call you Darren?" The imprisoned man nodded. "I, uhhh… I just passed by an angry mob, so I figured I'd stop by…"

"Ah, yeah, they wouldn't stop, so they got kicked out. It's kind of embarrassing though." He put the book on his lap, but he didn't take his eyes off of it.

"What book is that?" Jack asked.

"Bible," Darren answered simply. "The guards told us that they will bring us books from the library from time to time, but the police station has several Bibles in stock for prisoners to read. I guess they want us to contemplate our crimes or something."

"Are you religious?" Jack asked. He never went to church as much as he should have, but whenever he was there, he never saw Darren.

"Spiritual? Yes. Religious? Not so much," Darren answered. "But I decided I should read this. It's very interesting to note the inconsistencies made, but more importantly, I've noticed that the church here has an extra book in the Bible, so I figured it would be worth researching."

"The book of the Harvest," Jack muttered to himself, though it was loud enough for Darren to hear. "Look, Darren, you said it was embarrassing that your followers were protesting for you. Why do you think that? I mean, even I think you shouldn't be held here. Wouldn't it be preferable that they're-"

"No, they're wasting their time," Darren sighed. "They've made their point, but now they should be trying to spread our cause to others. I'll be out soon anyway, and they don't need me to organize anything… they've already proven that."

"Yeah," Jack mumbled when he thought about the people who had escaped. "You probably think I'm a monster for killing Gordy and Tosha, given that they were your friends and everything. You probably wouldn't get it… I didn't want to kill them…"

"No, I understand you were just doing your job," he replied sympathetically. "I don't know you that well, but judging from what I've seen, you seem like a compassionate person."

"Tell that to the mob outside," Jack stated bitterly. "They think I'm only acting the way I do for propaganda reasons."

"Well, ignore them for now… It might be best that you try to stay neutral about the whole situation," he replied grimly.

"What, why?"

"Because it's probably not going to end well," Darren answered. "Before that navy ship stopped by, nobody really thought about leaving. I mean, I wanted to get back to my family too in Kansas, but I didn't figure it would be a possibility, given how far away Kansas is from here."

"Yeah, about that, how did you get so far away from your home?" Jack asked. He had always wondered why somebody from the heartland was doing all the way out in the ocean.

"I was a business man in my previous life," the dark-haired man answered. "I was on a plane headed for the Houston airport in Texas when the first nukes struck. The pilot was forced to land on an island, but there were… complications. After that, me and a few survivors piled into a boat and we eventually ended up here.

"But anyway, even though I miss my family, I knew that going home was an impossibility, but now that there is a naval ship at sea, it seemed like our luck had changed… But the moment that boat left, we began to have suspicions, especially when Mayor Thomas announced the benefits that the Navy would bring us, he said nothing about the possibility of us going home. After that, the whispers began to become frequent. Now, we've reached the boiling point, and it won't be long before the lid blows off the teakettle."

"You mean…"

"I mean, it won't be long before the escape attempts become more frequent, and the riots actually become dangerous. When that day comes, you may want to be neutral. You probably won't want to be in the middle of the whole skirmish."

Jack thought about Darren's words. He was right: he had too much to lose. He had a prominent position in the council, a good career, and somebody that loved him. In comparison, Darren, as well as a lot of the other new residents had lowly jobs and little money or power. They had nothing to lose and everything to gain by fighting back. "So, I should just be silent? I still support you though-"

"Yes, but maybe you should just remain a silent supporter until the right time comes," Darren told him. "Maybe, in the future, you'll be useful to the cause, but for now, you're going to be perceived as an enemy. It would probably be best for your own interest to just avoid the whole thing for now."

"You know… you're probably right," Jack admitted sullenly. "I should just wait until the whole thing blows over. I'm very comfortable right now and I'm not going to hurt my loved ones by being reckless."

"That's a good idea," Darren agreed, "though trust me, it's not going to just 'blow over.' No matter what I try to say to the people who want to leave, the fire has been lit, and it's not going down anytime soon. My suggestion: be ready."

"Yeah…" Jack said, unsure of what to expect next. "What about you?"

"I'm going to do my time, and then go back to work as if nothing happened," Darren told him. "I'm also going to try to convince the others that breaking this town's laws is not the way to handle things. We need to keep pushing for our cause, but I know many of them won't hear that. At best, my efforts may just serve as damage control for the problems that are eventually coming."

"Well… good luck to you then," Jack said. "I have to get back to the farm, so… I hope this cell isn't too uncomfortable for you." The last line was incredibly awkward and the moment it passed Jack's lisp, he regretted every word.

"Peace be with you too," Darren said, raising his hand to say goodbye with a solitary wave.

Jack slowly walked out of the cell block and then outside of the building. But he had only taken a few steps before something crashed into his side, knocking him over. He felt his head bang against the ground, which was hardened by the cold weather, and even the snow didn't cushion his fall. After his head bounced off the ground, he felt a strange sensation take over his consciousness. He felt like he needed sleep… lots and lots of sleep.

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><p>Everything felt loopy… that was the best word that Jack could find to describe how he felt at the present moment. He opened his eyes slowly, but this only brought him mental pain from the light that filled his retinas. He snapped them shut before trying to open them again. Everything was a blur, but he could make out Elli's face among others. When Elli noticed his eyes were opening, her eyes lit with excitement.<p>

"Tim! Tim, he's up!" she announced before turning back to Jack.

"I'm going into surgery, can you take care of him?" the Doctor shouted back from the hallway.

"Okay!" she replied, not taking her eyes off Jack. "Are you okay, love?"

"What… what happened? And why does my head hurt like a bitch?" he mumbled as he touched his left temple with his hand. There was some sort of bandage covering it. He tried to feel it to take a guess at what happened, but Elli pulled his hand away from his head.

"Please don't do that. Your head got cut open, and you got a concussion," Elli answered worriedly. "Jack, you have no idea how scared I was. You're not supposed to fall asleep on a concussion, you know. You could have gotten a hemorrhage!"

"Yeah, I know, but I didn't… wait why was I even out? What happened?" he asked. The lack of information was disturbing to him. _I should know what happened to me!_

"That was the other thing that scared me," she admitted fearfully as she took his hand. "You were attacked by a townsperson when you left the jail. They locked her up in the jail-"

"Wait, who attacked me?" Jack asked. His memory was beginning to come back to him, but he couldn't remember who hit him. Just that somebody shoulder tackled him.

"Deborah… Deborah something," Elli struggled with the name, looking incredibly embarrassed that she couldn't remember it. "Sorry, I can't remember her last name. I know she lives and works on the poultry farm."

"Oh great, practically a next door neighbor. That's comforting," he mumbled sarcastically. "What are they doing with her?"

"They were interrogating her earlier, and they locked her up afterwards," Elli answered.

"For how long?" Jack asked.

"One week," she answered. "I would have put her in longer, but she was given minor assault charges, given that she never had the intent to kill you, and people are never put away for long. Maybe that's just being biased because she attacked you."

"Right…" Jack muttered. He remembered how Andrew Palmer never got locked up for very long whenever he started fighting in the bar. "How long am I going to be out?"

"Tim wants you to spend the night," Elli informed him. "You can go back to the farm in the morning, but you shouldn't do anything to demanding. Your head wound wasn't that big, but we'll need to check it in a week to see if it's infected or not. Just don't do anything to make it worse, promise?"

"Sure, anything you want, babe," Jack answered, smiling at his caretaker.

"Okay, thank you," Elli replied sweetly before kissing him on the forehead. "I'm just glad that you're not dead." She took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, but the moment was cut short as Kim poked her head in the room.

"Elli, some idiot fell in the river and got hypothermia. Most of the doctors are busy, so I need you over here."

"Okay Kim, I'll be right there," Elli replied in return before looking back to Jack. "I think it will be safe for you to fall asleep now. Just don't try to walk or anything without one of us here to help you." She gave him a second kiss before leaving through the door to help Kim, leaving Jack alone with his thoughts.

His thoughts… to him, the very idea was plagiarism. Everything that had just happened reflected what Darren had told him. Deborah had no intention of killing him, but only used him as a way to send a message to the council. It didn't matter if he was on their side, because to the protesters, he was against them because he killed their brethren.

_I will take the neutral stance now. I can't be aligned with a side that is resorting to rogue justice. _But no matter how he adjusted his position, he was still an enemy to them, likely including some of his farm workers. There were so many people on in Mineral Town at that time, it would be impossible to tell which side each villager aligned him or herself with. _I can only recognize a few people in that faction, but that's probably only the tip of the iceberg. It's all going to spiral downward from here._


	20. Chapter Eighteen: Doors

**I'm back… sort of. School has been a pain in the ass. I've had to do a lot of essay writing this semester, so the whole prospect of writing, even for fun, has gotten kind of annoying. That, and I finally bought New Vegas with the add-ons… 3 just beat it too, so I should have more time now. For those of you who are still reading, I love you… in a platonic, non-creepy sort of way. Maybe with spring break coming up, I'll get another chapter in, but don't hold your breath. **

**Review response:**

_By far, this is one of the most amazing, magnificent, exhuberating, suspense fanfic I have read under Harvest Moon. Me, myself, am not a fan of war themed books but I absolutely love your style of writing, the passion between characters, just everything. I love the personalities of each person. I can't wait for your update for chapter eighteen._

_By the way, not usually a fan for Jack and Elli, but I definitely like your plot and how you paired them up. _

**Okay, I probably look like a pompous asshole who's just stroking his ego by posting reviews that glorify my work like this, but I love it when people love my work. It's so gratifying.**

**As for Jack and Elli, I was trying to go for something new there too. Rather than a typical boy meets girl plot, the story states that they had just acquaintances for years who would never expect to fall for each other (because Jack has his own baggage and he thinks he's too old for her, and Elli has that mix of naivety combined her own mature issues.) But that was just my vision of it.**

* * *

><p><em>At first, Darren found the solitude of the jailhouse to be relaxing. Though the cell block was cold, and Douglas whimpered in his sleep every night, it was almost as if the cell was a vacation for him. He didn't have to cut wood, the food was decent, and he had enough reading material to last him a life sentence. All of that, combined with the silence of the building was perfect for him to be alone with his books, his thoughts, and the occasional conversation with the traitor in the next cell.<em>

_However, the lighter side of being held captive began to fade as the weeks passed. It started small with the protestors that kept coming in to tell him how they were progressing. But the actions of the protesters began to escalate even beyond just the general protesting. Deborah was the first to start the trend, attacking Jack on the day that he came to visit. Truthfully, Darren didn't see much point in this, since it only made the protesters look violent, but the senseless, attention-grabbing acts caught on. Numerous accounts of vandalism, minor assaults, theft, and even another escape attempt began, and it was getting worse. Luckily, nobody was hurt too badly in these events, but the once quiet jail house was now filled to the brim with criminals, all of whom were always talking each others ears off about how to escape from their cells, and what they would do next, though the escape plans never lead to anything. Such noise made reading quite impossible. To make things worse, Darren now had to share a cell with two other people, making the room cramped with cots and bodies._

"_Darren!" somebody shouted. The original protester, who was trying to force himself to sleep amongst all of the noise, sat up and looked across the hall into another cell to see a young man with dirty-blonde hair, sitting at the end of his bed, staring at him. His grey eyes were piercing like daggers._

"_Do you need something, Keith?" he groaned. "It's hard enough to sleep with all of this chatter."_

"_Look, I was wondering," the Keith asked inquisitively, "since you're getting out of here in a few days, what do you plan on doing next?"_

"_What are you talking about?" Darren asked, though he already knew the answer. "I'm going back to work. What else would I do?"_

"_Hello!" Keith replied angrily. "We're starting a full-fledged revolution here, baby! If we keep making our voices heard, eventually they'll have to let us-" _

_"No," Darren interrupted in a stern voice._

"_No!" Keith replied dumbfounded. "What did you mean, 'no?'"_

"_I mean no, I will not be a part of this 'revolution' you speak of. What started as a peaceful protest for our right to leave has gone too far," Darren stated flatly. But Keith still looked surprised._

"_Are you kidding me?" he shouted angrily. "We're doing this because you inspired us!"_

"_Then I'm incredibly embarrassed," the tan skinned man said, shaking his head. After all the times he had told his fellow protesters why his position was what it was, somebody always asked again. It was a never ending cycle. "Keith, if it was me that inspired you to through bricks at the Mayor's house, then you completely missed my point. We are in no position to be acting like savages."_

"_Yeah? Then what would you have us do? Dance around in feathered headdresses and smoke peace pipes?" the other man taunted. _

_At this point, Darren's annoyance grew into anger, but he did his best to control it. "You know Keith, you better thank the Harvest Goddess that there are two sets of bars between us right now." He took a deep breath and resettled his nerves. "But what you just sarcastically suggested would make more sense than what you're doing now. I may not agree with all of this town's rules, but considering how they took us in, sheltered us, fed us, and only asked that we contribute, the least we can do is be respectful in our disagreements. Otherwise, all we're doing is making our cause look like animals." _

_"Oh yeah, because being peaceful hippies is totally going to bring us justice," Keith muttered sarcastically._

"_It worked for Dr. King," Darren pointed out. "But I digress. I will continue my campaign for the right to leave this island, but I will not stoop to your level. I-"_

"_Stoop to our level!" Keith screamed in rage, silencing the entire cell block. The prisoners' eyes were all focused on the two debating men. "Does is get lonely up there on your pedestal, Darren? Do you really think that you're better than us!" _

_"I never said that," Darren clarified, raising his voice to a loud boom. "I'm saying that what your idea of justice is severely flawed, and it's not working. The council has already issued a curfew, and they will continue to be more harsh on our cause if you keep making fools of yoursel-"_

"_Fools! We're not the fools here!" Keith boomed. "We're actually fighting for what we believe in! At least we're not being soft on the issue like you are, because unlike you, we're not a bunch of pussies who bend over the moment the council demands it." _

_"Watch your mouth, boy," Darren growled. He was beginning to lose his composure again, but now, his face was showing it. "You're getting very close to pissing me off."_

"_Well maybe if it makes you fucking listen to us for once instead of claiming to be some sort of saint, I'm doing the right thing here! The more I think about what you're saying, the more I think that you're just a part of some sort of conspiracy that the council set up. It's almost as if you don't care about your family back-"_

"_Shut your damn mouth!" Darren shouted in an immeasurable rage. He had finally reached his limit, and he was now standing at the metal bars of his cell, his hands wrapped around the steel, trying in vain to bend the metal so he could knock the taste out of the antagonizer's mouth, but obviously, even his adrenaline pumped body couldn't bend the bars. After nearly a minute of trying to escape, he let out a frustrated groan before pounding on the steel bars one more time. Exhausted and frustrated, he sat back down on his bed, visions of his family floating in his consciousness. "When we're out of these cells, you better pray that I don't kill you."_

"_I knew it," Keith announced proudly as he laid back on the bed, his hands supporting his head while leaning on his pillow. "If we're fools, then you're just as bad as we are. Full of rage, just like the animals you claim we are." He smirked. "But it doesn't matter. You're an enemy to me, as well as everybody else. As far as I'm concerned, we don't need you anymore. You inspired us, but now, you're irrelevant. Enjoy the outside while you can, asshole."_

"_Well fuck you too," Darren muttered as he laid back on his bed and closed his eyes. In the coming weeks, he would do his best to convince the protesters to follow his method, but he would not find much luck._

**Chapter Eighteen: Doors**

_Date: January 28th __2012, 4:00 AM_

Jack pounded his fist on his ringing alarm clock the moment it began its ring. Normally, four in the morning was too early for even him to wake up, but today was different. Since his and Gotz's work schedules were completely different, it was difficult to plan small hunting trips, but Gotz had cleared some time so they could go on an early morning trip to the south woods, even though what they were doing was technically illegal now, but it would only be a problem if they got caught.

As the young farmer was about to stand up from the bed, he felt a pair of arms pull him back under the warm sheets. He tried to wriggle out of Elli's grasp, but even though she was still mostly asleep, her grip on his arm was of superhuman proportions.

"No, don't leave," she murmured, her words barely comprehensible. "It'll be cold without you."

"Shh, go back to sleep," he whispered to her. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"Not if you get arrested," she pointed out. Even when Elli was practically asleep, she was as sharp as a pin.

"They won't catch us," he assured her, kissing her on the forehead. "See you in a few." He knew if he stayed any longer, it would be very difficult for him to leave, so he stood up again and put on his jeans and shirt that he wore the day before (he didn't need clean clothes for shooting things,) and took out his bow and arrows from his weapons closet. Normally, he would have took his hunting rifle too, but using a gun in the forest at night would only draw unwanted suspicion. After lighting up his lantern, he put on his jacket and boots before stepping out into the snowy early morning.

As expected, the chilly air hit him like a brick wall, but he kept walking. _Well, here we go… about to break a law. _Truthfully, it was okay in his mind. Unlike the protesters, he wasn't doing it for some idiotic reason, but because he wanted to go hunting with his friend whom he very rarely saw outside of the council… or maybe that was a stupid reason.

Gotz was waiting for him on the edge of his property. He was wearing an old black coat, and like Jack, he was carrying a lantern and a bow, his arrows waiting in the quiver on his back to be fired. Gotz had only recently taken up the bow and arrow, since it saved him money on bullets, though his aim was still clumsy.

"You ready?" Jack asked.

"What do you think? I showed up at four in the freaking morning, didn't I?" Gotz grunted. He obviously peeved at the situation.

"Glad to hear it," Jack replied, ignoring the sarcasm. "How long do we have?"

"Until seven. I have to be back by then so my workers don't get suspicious that I'm not around when we start work. Let's get moving." The two walked in the ominously quiet forest until they reached the Deer Lookout. At that point, they put out their lanterns so they wouldn't scare the wildlife away and began to wait for an unsuspecting deer to wander into the moonlit clearing. At first, there was no conversation between the two, but after about ten minutes of waiting, Gotz opened his mouth to talk.

"This is complete bullshit," he muttered.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, though he already had an idea of what the topic of the conversation would be.

"I mean, we used to be able do this sort of thing before these stupid rebels started causing problems. Seriously, street guards at all hours instead of just night? A curfew beginning at ten and ending at six? This crap is just annoying, and it's just going to give those idiots more rules to break."

"Yeah, I know," Jack sighed in agreement. "I'm not to thrilled at it either, but maybe it is for the best. Back when this town only a few people living in it, we didn't really need a curfew, but now that our numbers are in the hundreds, and half of them disagree with the rules, maybe it is time for some control… Still, it would have been a lot better if they had made these rules before these problems started happening, because it is causing them to act more aggressive."

"Exactly," Gotz agreed. "I tell you, that navy ship brought more trouble than aid. If it had never shown up here, those morons would be acting civilized and we probably wouldn't be having any of these problems."

"Yeah, it's funny how fate works sometimes," Jack agreed. "But it's like Darren told me: the problem is getting-" He silenced his tongue at the last second when he saw a deer walk into the clearing. It looked pretty old, but that was fine by him since he only wanted the venison. He already had a head mounted in his house.

"You can take this one," Gotz offered. Jack nodded silently, pulled out an arrow, and took aim at the beast's heart. With a quick release, the arrow whizzed through the air… and hit the deer in his lower chest. The deer let out what sound like a mixture between a yelp and a roar before bolting into the forest.

"Son of a bitch," Jack growled as he looked down in disappointment, but he lifted his head again when he heard someone else's voice in the forest. "Crap, somebody is coming. Get down!" he whispered. He shifted to laying on his belly and Gotz followed in suit. The looked down the hill to see a man appear in the clearing, a rifle in one hand and a lantern in the other. The stranger looked around and stared up the hill where Jack and Gotz were hiding, but in the dim light, he saw nothing.

"Roy, you find anything?" Another person called out from the trees.

"No, it was probably just a deer or something," the visible man called back.

"Well, it's good that we checked. Let's get back on route." He then disappeared back into trees. Once they were out of earshot, Gotz was the one to break silence again.

"What the hell was that?" he asked in a raspy whisper.

"I don't… I don't even know…" Jack replied in confusion. "It looked like a patrol… But I didn't even know we patrolled the woods at night."

"_We _don't," Gotz stated. "We would have heard about it at the last meeting. It must be South Flowers that's patrolling these woods ever since they caught one of their own trying to escape. I guess Mineral Town isn't the only town that's stepping up its game."

"Well damn… I guess we're lucky I missed the deer then," Jack whispered. "If I had killed the deer, they probably would have caught us picking it up."

"It's not safe for us to be out here," Gotz said. "Let's get back to town before we cross another patrol."

"Good idea," Jack agreed. He then remembered how he once wrote in his journal about how the island felt like a fortress once the walls were built. He also remembered how he once wrote how he felt like a prisoner. But now that the leaders of the island were shortening the citizen's leashes, those statements seemed to have much more meaning, whether a person wanted to leave or not.

* * *

><p>Saturday was barely Jack's day off anymore. After retiring early from the hunting trip, he was only able to spend a few hours with Elli before going to the weekly council meeting. But his day wasn't over after that, since he had guard duty in town for the afternoon and evening. Normally, Harris's men would guard the streets at night to deter any mischief that may occur, but ever since the protesters began stirring up trouble, there were several guards on duty during the daylight ours as well. Unfortunately, since Harris's men were being stretched so thin, the volunteer wall guards were called upon to work as street guards as well. This only created more problems though, since it was not always certain who was completely loyal to the town.<p>

It was almost 9 P.M., and Jack stood on the southern street of town, keeping watch over the Blacksmith's, the Poultry Farm, Yodel Ranch, and the dwellings that were built on that street. Since that street wasn't a place of social gathering, like the town square, the bar, the market, or the church, it was easy work, since the only people who came through were workers and delivery runners. But that made the job even more dull, adding boredom to the stiffness that the cold had brought. But his night was far from over. As soon as the clock struck nine, he would be required to serve on the wall until morning.

"Damn rebels," he muttered to himself as he finished drinking the mushroom tea in the thermos that Elli had brought him half an hour ago. "Can't even get a day off anymore." He tilted the thermos back a little bit further, tying in vain to get a few more drops out, but none were left. He would have saved some for his shift on the wall, but he couldn't help himself. It tasted so good, and he felt so cold.

As he continued to stand on the street corner, he watched Rick pass by. The two nodded at each other, but like usual, the two had nothing to say. But after the chicken rancher passed by, Jack saw another, larger figure approaching. It was a horse and cart that were coming off his property, though they didn't belong to him, and he couldn't recognize the driver. But when he saw the passenger in the cart, surrounded by luggage, he couldn't help but give a confused stare.

_Andrew Palmer? _The town's former troublemaker had returned, but why was he back? "What are you doing here?" Jack asked in astonishment. "I thought-"

"I got let out early for good behavior," he announced smugly as if he had actually accomplished something. "I'm back to work tomorrow."

"Congratulations…" Jack muttered. He wasn't quite sure why Andrew was acting this way towards him. The only thing he had done was vote in agreement to sending the man away, but he never had any personal issues with the man. _Just because I had to take him to the valley, he hates me? Perfect, just when things couldn't get anymore annoying. Come to think about it, why this news not reach the council meeting? Kinda strange since-_

"Jack, your shift is up," said the guard that came to relieve him.

"Thanks Michael," Jack replied to his relief. Giving one last look at Andrew, he headed out towards the wall. _This night will never end._

* * *

><p>There was something wonderful about the sky over the ocean that night. There was a gap in the clouds that shaded the Mineral Town beach, allowing the stars to poke through. It was beautiful enough to make anybody forget that the world was a wasteland… at least for those that could enjoy it. It was about two in the morning, and Jack had been outside in the frozen air for almost twelve consecutive hours, and it didn't help that he had absolutely nothing to drink. Very few things in life were more unpleasant than looking on at a source of undrinkable water when one was thirsty.<p>

_Just a few more hours of this. Just have to survive a few more hours, and then I can go home and cuddle up with Elli for a few hours… before I have to work again. Well that's just fucking swell… _He sighed, letting loose a puff of breath, which was visible in the chilling air.

"Having fun?" Jack's head twisted around at an incredible speed when he heard that familiar, melodic voice.

"Karen, I didn't know you were working tonight," Jack commented. Karen's presence alone was enough to warm the temperature by about twenty degrees, or so it felt. She was wearing a gray overcoat and fluffy looking brown hat that she had tucked most of her hair into. She looked so cheery in comparison to himself, but she hadn't been out in the frigid air as long as he had been that night.

"Yeah, well… I needed to cover somebody's shift," she explained with very little detail as she plopped down next to him before pulling her rifle off her shoulder and into her lap. Her emerald colored eyes took in Jack's appearance, leading her face to scowl at him. "Ew, Jack, your lips are all chapped. How long have you been out here?"

"Twelve hours, going on thirteen," he mumbled. "Had to serve guard duty in town before this, and I ran out of tea awhile ago."

"Aww, poor thing," Karen replied in a tone that was somewhere between mocking and actual concern. Suddenly, her face lit up, and she whipped out her flask that she always brought to guard duty. Technically, guards were not allowed to have alcohol during their shifts, but since Karen always functioned with a bit of booze in her blood, Zack never bothered trying to separate the two. "Here, have a sip. It'll warm you up."

"Thanks," Jack said, his voice slightly raspy from thirst. He took the flask from her, but stopped in place before he brought it to his lips. He was incredibly thirsty, but drinking something that Karen was giving was always a risk. "What is this?" he asked suspiciously.

"What, you think I roofie'd it or something?" she giggled. "Just take a damn sip. Trust me."

"Fine, fine." Jack did as he was commanded, but the moment the drink touched his tongue, he felt his eyes water up and his face contort. Whiskey. But not just any kind of whiskey. The very flavor of it seemed to pierce his taste buds to the point of stopping his heart mid-beat. He finally managed to swallow the liquid before giving Karen a disgusted look. "You mind telling me what the hell that was!"

"You're welcome!" Karen laughed, her cheeks filling with blood as she amused herself at Jack's expense. "It's just whiskey, you big baby!"

"That was not _just_ whiskey," he spat back. "That tasted like Satan's piss! Why did you- You know I don't like whiskey, let alone this abomination!"

"Well maybe you should expand your horizons! It's good for you."

"Oh yeah, drinking this crap is so good for me. I'll totally buy that one," he replied sarcastically, though he was beginning to laugh too, now that Karen's giggles had infected him.

"Hey! You two better shut the hell up, or I'll separate you both!" Zack shouted from down the wall. The leader of the guards preferred next to silence whenever he was on duty.

"Yes Dad!" Karen shouted back, still laughing, though not as loud. Only she had the balls to talk back to Zack. The muscled guard scowled, but didn't bother doing anything about it. "Feeling better now?" Karen asked her friend.

"A little, I'll admit," he replied softly, his chuckles dieing down. "I'm glad you're here. It was beginning to get really boring and I really don't want to sleep out here when it's this cold."

"Boring? What, would you rather be killing people out here or something?" Karen teased, though she hushed up the moment Jack's face didn't reflect the humor. He hadn't been quite the same since killing the deserters, and he had become even more stoic on the subject of death ever since.

"No, but it's still boring," he answered tiredly as he placed his chin in his hand for support. "I don't know how Zack and his boys do this every day and night. It's like watching the grass grow while paint is drying on it."

"Hmm, different strokes," Karen said, her voice sort of airy in its tone. "If you ask me, I love it here. Even now, the ocean is still beautiful to watch, even if it is dangerously irradiated." Her mouth closed and she gazed dreamily out at the waves. "That's why I volunteer for guard duty all the time. To come here."

"Really?" Jack asked. "You told me it was because you liked 'popping suckas' or something like that." Really though, he wasn't surprised by her true intentions. Before the warheads were launched, Karen would often go to the beach at night when she wasn't drinking herself into a stupor at the bar. It was those nights at the beach were she and the young farmer developed their friendship

"Well… I just miss coming here and being able to sit on the dock. Whenever I wasn't drinking and I needed a place to think, it was always the best place to go. Just to sit there under the stars and listen to the crashing waves…" She had finally fully calmed down at this point, and a contemplative look grew on her face as she stared at the calm waters before them. "I wish I still had a place like that, but this is the closest I can get."

"I hear you…" Jack looked away from Karen and to the water that had captured her attention. Even if he only knew her half as well as he did, it was painfully obvious to him that something was bothering her. "What's wrong? You know I won't say anything." She didn't even need him to ask him to promise not to say anything. That was a given between them now.

"Rick proposed to me last night."

The words brought a stunning silence between the two. The news shouldn't have taken Jack by surprise, given how long Karen and Rick had been dating, but at the same time, that was the exact reason it was surprising. If he never thought about the subject in depth, he would have expected their relationship to remain in its limbo forever. "Well… um… congratulations. That's a good thing, right?" He smiled awkwardly, knowing that there was an issue with the situation, or else Karen wouldn't have phrased it as such.

"That's the problem… it really should be, but… I don't know." She frowned, and looked at him for answers. "That's what I told him. That I don't know. That I need some time to think. And of course, now he thinks that there's some sort of problem."

"Well, it sounds like there is," Jack said bluntly. "You know how you told me awhile ago that things were getting boring between you two? Did you ever talk with him about that?"

He didn't need to her respond when he could see the answer in her eyes. "Honestly, I don't know what to tell you… maybe you should talk to Dr. Travis or something about this, because I'm not a marriage coun-"

"Ugh, please don't use that word right now!" she interrupted after hearing the m-word. "And no, I'm not going to talk to somebody I don't know about my problems. I don't care how many PhDs he has, it's just weird."

"Then talk to Pastor Carter?" Jack suggested.

"You're acting as if plain old advice is going to fix this, but it's not that simple," she sighed wearily.

"Then why are we talking about it if you don't think my advice will help?" Jack questioned, though he instantly regretted it. _Way to be an insensitive son of a bitch._ Luckily, Karen didn't call him out on it.

"i need to vent," she started again, "I just… I've been dating Rick forever, and I love him… but at the same time, I'm so uncertain about our relationship. Looking back on our youth, I feel like we; neither of us, ever really had a chance for anything else in our lives. I hate being on this one track. I hate not having a choice… I just wish I had the answers."

"Don't we all," Jack commented softly. Nothing really surprised him anymore. It was strange how desensitized he had become to hearing secrets. But something else was plaguing his mind. If he wasn't in love with Elli, how would he respond to Karen in this moment? After all the years he had lusted over her, would he try to convince her to stay with Rick, or would he express his feelings? But in this situation… "Sometimes, I don't know if we really have a choice in anything. If I had a choice in destiny… there are days when I wish that I'd wake up and that this was all a dream. That I'd be back in New York with my friends and family. But that's different, I guess. It's just a big, impossible pipe dream. I just have to remind myself how lucky I am to be alive on this rock with you all… and Elli." _My silver lining. _A smile crept back onto his face.

"Maybe you're right, but I still don't know what I should do," she whispered, shifting her body closer to his. "Maybe I am selfish…"

"You? Never," he told her. "I know you love Rick. You'll find your way, and I'll support you, no matter what. Remember that." It really wasn't his best advice, but it was all he could give her for the time being.

"I'll try," she replied, smiling again like she was when she arrived. She took in another mouth full of whiskey and chuckled slightly. "You know, I always thought you were pretty wise. In a snarky sort of way, but still. You'll make a good father someday, you know?"

"Stop," he said, half jokingly, "I'd like to think I'm too young to have kids." A hopeless effort, seeing as how he looked like he could have been in his thirties with the few gray hairs and the several wrinkles developing around his eyes. "But thank you. I'm glad we can talk like this."

"Yeah, well, us misfits have to stick together, right?" she laughed, though softly so Zack wouldn't yell at them again.

"Yup, just two alcoholic misfits sitting on a wall on the edge of utopia," he added, laughing as well, looking out at the dead world beyond them.

"Oh Jack, I'd hardly call you an alcoholic," Karen giggled, leaning her head on his shoulder playfully.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he replied to the lie. Of course, nobody was an alcoholic in comparison to Karen. But he didn't care about that, or the rebels causing problems, or any of the uncertainty. He felt… at ease. For some reason, this talk had helped him put the last remaining romantic feelings he had for Karen to rest. Having a friend in her was quite satisfactory, and that was comforting. Little by little, he was putting his past behind him, whether it be her, or Kassie, or the voice that was his madness. All in all, another door had closed. But as the old saying goes, as some doors close, others open. And the mother of all doors was about to open up right in front of his face and he could see it coming on the water.

"Is that a…"

"LOOK ALIVE! Foreign objects in the water!" Zack exclaimed in a booming voice, waking the zombie-like guards from their trances. By habit, Jack, Karen, and the others snapped into action. In seconds, the rancher was eying one of the two boats on the water. There was a small group of men in it, all looking reasonably youthful. But they looked tired. Weary. Exhausted. Bloody. Especially the one standing at the helm, who was clutching his chest. He couldn't make out any big details from the man's appearance, but in the moonlight, the shirt he was wearing looked to be covered in blood. "Attention interlopers!" Zack began to shout into the megaphone, but before he could continue with the standard warning, the man at the helm collapsed. "Jordan! Get a few men ready to intercept them! The rest of you, don't lose focus! Every outsider is a threat!"

If any of the rebels had heard those words, they would likely have began another riot at the prejudice. But how true these words were nonetheless.


	21. Chapter Nineteen: A Rat in a Cage

**For those of you who pay attention to the media, you've probably heard that Kim Jong-il, leader/president/chairman/whatever of North Korea died back in December. I feel like I should mention this, given that his character is mentioned in this story as a political figure who was highly involved in the creation of a post-apocalyptic world. I don't think he'd be pleased that I fictionalized him like this (as I've also done with George W. Bush, John McCain, and Raul Castro) but it was not out of malice (despite the kind of a person he was.) So let's all have a moment of silence for the late ruler… thank you Kim for putting the "dick" back in dictator. **

* * *

><p><em>There was an old radio in the town jail. Of course, there were not a lot of options channel-wise in the post-apocalyptic world, but the Poter City radio station was better than nothing. When the current batch of inmates weren't prattling on about their rebellion against the town and its laws, they would turn on the radio and just listen. The main selection was Jazz music (which was what played 90% of the time,) but the radio DJ would report news from time to time. Most of this news was just local to Poter itself, and not that useful. However, there were times when the station would pass on news from other parts of the world, which was rare in a time with limited communication.<em>

"_Finally, before we break," the DJ said, his voice upbeat and perfect for radio, "we have some news from the United States of America which we picked up on our other frequency. According to analysts, it seems likely at this point that the American President John McCain will likely proceed into a second term, considering his popularity among American citizens and the progress he's made since being elected. McCain has already gone on the record for saying that if he is re-elected, he will continue to have supplies distributed to populations in need, taking back the destroyed states, and re-building a stronger America._

"_On the subject of rebuilding, the United States of America officially annexed Cuba last week, a country which had been struggling ever since the strikes. After the invasion of the remnants of the U.S. army, Cuban President Raúl Castro, surrendered the country in exchange for immunity for himself, his family, and his fellow Cuban leaders, since the country is blamed for approximately one tenth the nukes that were fired at the States. This newest acquisition is now added to the other claimed territories, such as northern Mexico, and this reporter wonders what lands the great U.S. of A will be taking next. Of course, it won't be this one! More information will be distributed when we receive it. Until then, here's another block of smoooooth Jazz!"_

"_Cuba, huh?" Keith muttered to himself. "Well I'll be damned." Originally, the young rebel was from America, but he didn't have an ounce of patriotism in his body. His beef with the town was more about being a second class citizen, rather than the desire to go to a home that he didn't have to begin with. Still, America mercifully annexing Cuba, the country that had been a thorn in their side for years, was strange to hear. The States were definitely becoming an imperialistic force. Reborn from the flames of a nuclear fire, they were already rebuilding themselves to be bigger and stronger than ever in the blank slate of the world that was left. At the rate they were going, they ought to just change their national bird from an Eagle to a Phoenix._

"_I know, it's crazy," one of his cellmates agreed. "Who do you think they'll take next?"_

"_More of Mexico, I bet," he answered, though it was just a guess._

"_You think they'll take Mineral Town if they get the chance?" the other man asked.  
><em>

"_Gee, I don't know, would they take the magical island that repels radiation?" Keith replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "What do you think?" _

_"Whatever… Dick," the other man said as he returned to his cot._

_Keith barely heard the insult. All he could think about was a stronger power taking over the town and giving him a chance to be something more than a ranch hand that had no freedom. All they needed was an interruption to the system. _

**Chapter Nineteen: A Rat in a Cage**

_Date: January 29th__ 2012, 9:30 AM_

"Jack… Jack, wake up." The farmer was nudged out of his sleep by Elli's gentle touch on his shoulder. He yawned lightly before turning over on the sofa in the lobby of the clinic. After bringing the thirteen newcomers in, they were transported to the clinic for medical treatment and interrogation. Mayor Thomas then asked Jack to stick around in case he was needed for interrogation, but he hadn't been asked, which led him to sleeping on the couch until that moment. He opened his eyes slowly to see Elli smiling at him. The sight for sore eyes made him feel pleasant, despite the grogginess and joint stiffness he was experiencing.

"Ugh, what time is it?" he asked, yawning again. "That farm isn't going to run itself."

"Don't worry about that, Kai and Flint are taking care of it." She knelt down near his head and ran her fingers across his bangs and forehead. The very touch brought a frown to her face. "Besides, after all of this outside work, I think you're getting a small fever. You need your rest, love."

"Oh, so why did you wake me up?" he moaned, though his expression didn't match his voice, since he wore a light grin. With her around, he couldn't help but smile.

"Because I made you some soup. Chicken noodle." She looked over at the end table where she placed the bowl of piping hot liquid. After Jack sat up in his place, Elli took the bowl and placed it in his hands. Ignoring the spoon, he drank directly from the bowl by tilting it. A warm rush flowed through his body from the broth.

"You know Elli, this is why I love you," he said thankfully after bringing the bowl away from his lips.

"Because I make you food?" she laughed. "I thought you were less shallow than that."

"No, because you always know how to make me happy." He took another sip of the soup. "But the food is a well appreciated bonus."

Elli giggled again. The sound of her laughter warmed Jack more than the soup itself. "Oh Jack." She leaned forward to kiss him, but she didn't stay long. "I have to get back to work. All of the men that just got there need medical attention. I'll see you later." She kissed him one more time, that time on the cheek, before leaving for one of the clinic's backrooms, leaving Jack alone with his soup.

As various doctors and nurses passed by, the lone farmer finished drinking his soup and placed the empty bowl on the table. Feeling restless, he decided that if the mayor didn't come to him in the next few minutes with work, he was going to tell him that he had work on the farm needing done. But no sooner did he make this decision did he see Mayor Thomas enter from the back hallway with Harris at his heels. The look on his face was worrisome.

"What's the status?" Jack asked tiredly. He leaned back on the couch and stretched out his arms, looking more relaxed than he was feeling.

"Well…" Thomas began in a concerned tone, "one of the men died from blood loss, but the ones who did survive... most of them check out. Their story is that they were in a fight with a group of raiders, which would explain the bullet wounds and whatnot. Apparently, they've been traveling for the last year, trying to find a safe place, and none of them have deviated from this tale. They all seem like typical castaways…" An awkward pause stretched out, though it was filled with the background noise of talking and the work of the doctors.

"But?" Jack questioned. The mayor wouldn't be talking to him if there wasn't an issue.

"But we have one man who… concerns us…" Thomas finally answered. "The one who every man has claimed to be the leader. He's… very comfortable here."

"Well, isn't that a good thing?" Jack asked. "Would we rather him be shitting himself in fear of our big, bad socie-"

"Knock it off, Jack," Harris barked angrily. The officer seemed a lot more cranky than usual, probably after all of the hours he had been putting in. "You'll understand when you talk to him. He's in the last room on the right. Just go talk to him and tell us what you think."

"Yes sir," the farmer replied dully. How bad could this one guy be that he would cause this much worry? He slowly pulled himself to his feet and began a slow walk to the last room on the right, and then opened the door to where the final man slept.

Though the man was asleep, his head half covered by a pillow, Jack instantly recognized him as the man who collapsed in the boat. He was thin, and his skin was barely few shades above white. This contrasted with his jet black hair that looked very messy from all that he had endured in the past few days. The final thing Jack noticed was his chest, which was patched up with plenty of wrappings. He began to wonder where the bullet entered. The man was a lucky son of a bitch, since it obviously missed his heart and lungs.

Silently, Jack moved to the lone chair near the bed and sat down. He wasn't sure what would be the most polite way to wake a bullet wound victim from his sleep, but he didn't have to consider it further when the man's eyes sprang open at an instant. That was when everything got spooky. The man's eyes showed no residual grogginess from sleeping, but even more so, there was something about his eyes that gave Jack chills. They were a dark green color that had an intensity that he had never seen matched before in his life. Those eyes brought one word to mind: _Snake. _Even the guy's baby face couldn't distract Jack from those eyes.

"Oh good, your awake," Jack stated calmly, trying not to let his sheepishness show through. _I have nothing to be worried about. There is no reason to be afraid of this guy._

"Well, you know, it's bloody difficult to sleep when somebody is staring at you like that," the man said, sitting up. Another surprise was the stranger's way of speaking. Out of all the people to ever land on the island after the bombs, he was the only one with a British accent. "Are you a policeman?" he asked in a ride manner. "Are you going to finger me about something, or can I go back to sleep?"

"I'll be asking the questions here," Jack replied forcefully. _Don't forget who you are. _"My name is Jack Slater. I'm in charge of running one of this island's farms. You're name?"

"Kelly Robinson, charmed." The dark-haired stranger extended his hand for a shake, but Jack didn't accept it. "Come now, I'm not going to bite you or anything."

"I'm not here to be buddies. Mayor Thomas asked me to come and talk to you and get an understanding of who you are. So-"

"Oh, that's comforting," Kelly laughed. "My fate is hanging by a thread, and some farm boy is holding the scissors."

"Do not interrupt me," Jack spat. The combination of this man's attitude and the early hours of the morning were becoming quite frustrating. "This island is a safe haven, and we don't take new arrivals lightly. As they say, one bad apple spoils the bunch, so we burn-"

"I bet you say this to anybody that comes in the front door," Kelly interrupted, uncaring that he was interrupting Jack again. "So, this island. The air here is tasty, and so is the water. Is this place free of rads, or am I getting my hopes up?"

_What is wrong with this guy! _"I am not at liberty to discuss that with-"

"Then why are you here, farm boy?" the newcomer teased. His smile was the definition of smug. "Shouldn't you go back to minding your turnips? There is nothing I have to say that I haven't said already. And if there was, why would I tell you?"

Jack couldn't take the banter anymore. He stood up and got right in the man's face, but was only greeted with that cocky smile. "Look Robinson, I don't know who you think you are, but I'm not about to let some arrogant little prick like yourself waltz into my town and act like you own the place! If you think that you're better than me or anybody else who has fought to keep this place safe, I'll boot your sorry ass back onto the water! I don't care if you're injured, I don't care if you're sinless, because I will do what I have to do to keep this land safe and sound, so don't push your damn luck! It won't go far here, I guarantee it." Despite Jack's best efforts, the man did not stop grinning. But then, he laughed, first suppressed, but then full out. Jack took a step back, since he wasn't comfortable with this man breathing on his face.

"You're so fucking adorable," the castaway finally said after catching his breath. "Trying to act like you're hard. Like you're some sort of badass. I see right through you, farm boy. Nice effort, but I'm about as far from pissing myself as I could be."

Jack clenched his fists as he glared at the grinning man on the bed. If he lacked self-control, he would have throttled the man where he sat. But with much effort, he pushed back at his emotions. He couldn't let them push through. Not now…

"I'll tell you what I told your mayor," Kelly continued, "I've been traveling with my men for awhile. They elected me leader after I saved a handful of their asses from those wild men on the water. We've been searching for awhile now for a place to settle at, and our travel's took us here. At first, we tried that one city in the north east from here, but they wouldn't let us in. Something about security from the outside or whatever. Just a bunch of nonsense. I mean, what could we do to an entire city? There is only thirteen of us."

"Twelve now," Jack corrected him, keeping his voice mildly sympathetic. However, Kelly seemed not to take any care to the fact that one of his men died. "Anyway, Poter City hasn't let anybody in since the bombs dropped. We're really the only place that castaways can go to around here… well, except Coconut Beach, but that place is a raider camp, and we don't have the manpower or the ressources to clean it out."

"Raiders, huh?" Kelly asked, his voice still bored. "Must have been them that attacked us. We outnumbered them, but they took us by surprise. One of them shot me pretty good in the-" The door opened, and both men paused to see Elli meekly take a few steps in, carrying a tray of food.

"Um, I… I'm sorry Jack, Tim told me that I need to get breakfast out to the patients, so-"

"It's fine, go right ahead," Jack told her. Seeing Elli arrive was enough to temporarily lift him out of the peeved mood he was wallowing in.

"Alright, thank you." She carried the food tray to where Kelly was and set it down before him. "Hear you are. Orange juice and scrambled eggs. I hope you enjoy it."

"Thank you, dear," Kelly answered, his voice still smooth, but in a different sort of way from how he was speaking earlier. It lacked the intensity that he had used with jack earlier. As Elli left the room, Jack noticed that Kelly's eyes followed her, unblinking.

"Wow, she's a nice piece of ass wouldn't you say?" the dark haired man said, chuckling "And cute to boot too."

_Kill him. _Jack heard those words in his mind as he felt his blood boil, and for the first time in awhile, he couldn't tell if the voice was his own, or the one that he didn't control.

"Seriously mate, is she single? 'Cause I wouldn't mind-"

"She's my girlfriend," Jack interrupted sourly. He just needed this man to shut up before the urge to strike him grew any stronger.

"Oh, my apologies then, farm boy." Of course, his face showed no remorse whatsoever. "I didn't think-"

"Yeah, you didn't," Jack said coldly. "Look, is there anything else you need to say before I go? You know, something that may improve my mood?"

"'Fraid I got nothing, farm boy," Kelly chuckled again. "No hard feelings though, right?"

Jack said nothing. Never in his life had he ever grown so much dislike for a person in such a short time.

"So," Kelly continued, "do you know if I'll be allowed to stay in _your _town?"

"We'll see," Jack answered coldly. "Enjoy your stay." He stood up and walked out of the room. The Mayor and his son were only a few steps away, discussing something that sounded important.

"Well?" Thomas asked, once he noticed Jack had joined them. "What do you think?"

"Well…" Jack started, trying to be objective as possible, "putting any personal issues aside… something's not right. His story matched up with the others, but you're right. He's just… too comfortable. I mean, every person we've ever interrogated in the past… they were always nervous, or fidgeting, or hostile even, but this guy, he just acts like he owns the place. It's unnerving."

"I agree," Thomas said, his son nodding in agreement. "Something is off here."

"So what are we going to do?" Jack questioned. "I don't feel comfortable with them here. I know we can't just kick them out-"

"That's for the council to decide. We're having an emergency meeting at noon. I suggest you get some rest and be ready." At the end of the final sentence, the Mayor and Harris left the clinic hall.

_Get some rest… _Even if he didn't have a farm to get back to, rest was probably something he wouldn't be able to find in these troubled times.

* * *

><p>"And that's the entire situation as it stands," the Mayor announced to the council. "We have twelve men in the clinic being treated. Eleven of them seem like standard cases, but that outlier is what baffles-"<p>

"I say we just throw them out!" Duke interrupted, his gruff voice creating a booming echo in the church. "These men are nothing but trouble from what I've heard so far, and the last thing we need is more outsiders!"

"Please," Thomas pleaded, his face taking a hue of red similar to that of his suit, "don't use that word. We-"

"No, no, it's fine," Tammy cut in with a sarcastic tone, her light brown eyes flashing. "Now we know where he stands. Of course, because they're 'outsiders,' they're automatically bad. After all, we're all the same, aren't we?"

"Watch your mouth, girl!" Duke grunted. He left his seat and lumbered over to Tammy, towering over the young woman, even when she was standing. "Mr. Mayor, I don't even know why she's here! She was charged with aiding the outsiders who vandalized the north shops last-"

"Tammy Palmer has been cleared of those charges, and Duke, please stop using that word," the mayor ordered. The leader of the town looked as if he was about to explode from the building frustration, but he wouldn't let himself burst. The two opposing council members stared each other down before they were grudgingly returned to their seats. Their positions in the council were not worth the rage. "Anyway, it is important that we analyze this situation carefully. What do you think of the situation, Zack? You were on duty at the time, so what's your take on it?"

"Well," Zack began, his voice lingering in thought, "at first, they seemed pretty normal, but now after hearing all of this information, I'm not so sure. Something about this group seems strange."

"What do you mean by that? What makes them so dangerous, as you say?" Tammy demanded, collecting multiple dirty looks when she did so.

"Actually, I have to agree with Zack on the group as a whole," Jack cut in suddenly. "Everybody in that group was a man in his mid-twenties or so. Anybody else think that's kind of strange? I mean, usually in groups that big, there's at least a bit of each gender, varying in age, but in this group-"

"With all due respect, does that even matter?" Gotz questioned. He was unable to put the pieces together like Jack could.

"I would say it does," Zack answered. "From what I've seen, usually large groups of all young men tend to be raiders. Not saying that we haven't seen female raiders, because we have, but a group like this only increases the chances that they're no good."

"What, so you think they're raiders?" Thomas asked, but before the leader of the guards could reply, Anna jumped into the spotlight.

"All the more reason to kick them out ASAP! Raiders in our town? They'll steal from us and they'll kill us first! This shouldn't even be an issue!" Her shouts got the council muttering, most of them in agreement with Anna, but Zack spoke up.

"I never said they were raiders, but-"

"But what?" Anna demanded. "These men are threats and should be dealt with as such. I say we throw them out right now or-"

"That's a terrible idea." Everybody silenced as they looked at the one who stated his opinion: Jack.

"Of course _you_ think it is," Anna scoffed, rolling her eyes. "But why? Even you said you didn't like that one guy, Kelly, or whatever his name is. You said he was a rude prick. Sounds like a no class raider to me. Why should we-"

"First of all," Jack cut in, drawing an evil glare from the dark-haired woman, "while he might be a dick, we have no proof that he is some sort of raider. Maybe he has some 'evil plan,' but we can't convict him without proof. But really, the big issue here is the town's current condition with all of the rebellion. Kicking these guys out will only make the problems worse."

After a brief silence, the Mayor finally asked, "how do you figure?"

"Think about it," Jack ordered, "we have twelve injured guys in the clinic. One of them is a dick, but the other eleven seem clean. If we kick all of them out, that just gives the rebels more reason to fight against us for unfair treatment to newcomers."

"Wait, I don't understand," Doug interjected, scratching his head. "The rebels want to leave. Why would they be mad about people being let go prematurely?"

"If we act unfairly and unjustly to these newcomers in any way, it just gives the rebels more ammo to do what they're doing," Jack explained. "If you ask me, the risk isn't worth it. There are twelve of them and over a hundred of us."

"And if they are out to rob us?" Anna asked, authoritatively projecting her voice.

"We keep an eye on them," Jack said. "We split the twelve of them amongst the places of business in town and keep them away from each other. That way, they won't be able to communicate with each other easily and if any of them are plotting something, we'll find out, and we'll do something about it. If not, they'll be integrated into our society, and the problem is solved. Get it?"

Mumbling followed. Jack was unable to tell if it was good mumbling or bad mumbling, but finally, the Mayor answered him.

"Jack, that is a decently thought out idea, but if these men are dangerous, it's a big risk."

"Yes, but kicking them to the curb almost guarantees us problems. This… not so much. I'm not usually a gambling man, but that's how I'd play the hand." He sat down and folded his arms.

"I don't get it, I thought you wanted to support the rebel, but now you don't want them to revolt!" Duke accused. "Why are you-"

"This isn't about me and my personal beliefs," Jack stated calmly. Duke could be a real bully, and he wasn't about to be played. "If it were that easy, I'd kick Kelly over the wall myself. This is about our families and friends. And if that means playing babysitter for these guys, then so be it."

"Yes, well… It's worth considering," the Mayor agreed. "If we weren't having rebel problems, I'd have those boys removed, but the safety of this town is always our highest priority. We will discuss this tomorrow after we've given the issue more thought. Until then, meeting adjourned. Go home and consider the ordinance."

One by one, the council members left the church, Jack being one of the first to rush out. He had wasted too much time away from the farm, and he needed to get back to work. It seemed like he was always passing his duties onto Kai and Flint, and he wasn't setting a good example for his employees. _I feel more like a politician than a farmer..._

"Jack, a word?"

_Not that voice._ He slowly turned to see Anna near the doorway, standing slightly to the side so that the other council members could exit. She was wearing two distinct articles of clothing: some sort of pre-strike fur coat, and an icy cold glare that was colder than the snow itself.

"I'm sorry Anna, I have to get back to work," he said, denying her request, but once he had turned around to leave again, he felt the woman's hand touch his shoulder. He turned his head to see her hand on his shoulder, and despite its slender appearance, the grip was strong.

"Now."

Jack returned Anna's cold stare with one of relaxed indifference. He could have easily walked away, but he knew how this woman worked. The last thing he needed was another enemy in Mineral Town.

"Very well," he answered. Silently and slowly, Anna released his shoulder and walked over to the church's cemetery while he obediently followed. They stopped near a headstone and she went back to giving him that cold stare. Jack analyzed the woman as he tried to understand why she had pulled him aside. Despite her age (late forties, early fifties, he wasn't quite sure,) she was still a very attractive woman, but that made no difference in his opinion of her. Though he never showed it, Jack had never particularly liked Anna. She was one of those few original town members that had rubbed him the wrong way since day one, and she grown even more unappealing ever since she had provoked Gotz to rage by mentioning his family at that one meeting in the past. But the feeling was obviously mutual. Anna didn't like Jack either, and for one reason: he wasn't born on the island. She was the equivalent of a nationalist, being that she was not fond of anybody who wasn't born and raised on the island. This was especially obvious when she would not allow her daughter to date Grey back before the strikes (though she failed at keeping her away from Doctor Tim.) Despite her beliefs, she was of the Mayor's biggest supporters, grudgingly accepting the newcomers because he demanded it. That being said, it was unsettling that she was a member of the island's high council. So much power… how Mary was so sweet was beyond Jack.

"What do you have to say?" Jack asked, smiling slightly, reminding Anna that she didn't intimidate him. The tactic failed however, as Anna's scowl grew larger.

"Jack, my family has lived on this islands for generations," she began, her voice civil, but dark, "and I plan to keep it that way, even if Mary does decide to marry…" She sighed, annoyed at her child's decision. "But you, Jack… I've been tolerant of you for so long. I've turned a blind eye to your rise to power and respect in this town. But what you've done today may have doomed us all."

"What are you talking about?" Jack groaned, crossing his arms for warmth. " What power? I just run a farm. And I didn't do anything."

"Didn't you?" she asked rhetorically. "I've worked with the Mayor for many years, and I know when he likes an idea. He really likes this one, especially since you came up with it. You're his current pet, you know. He likes your interpretation of how we should handle these outsiders, and most of the other council members do too. It will obviously pass. I'm not even sure why Thomas is postponing it, but…" She sighed and shook her head before going back to glaring at Jack. "Those monsters are poison, and you're willingly feeding it to this town."

"I already told you all, we will have more problems-"

"Decorate your beliefs however you wish," she interrupted bitterly, "you have put the legacy of our town in jeopardy. If you give a rat a place to rest, it will breed, and it won't matter if you try to contain it."

"Well, I'm sorry you feel that way," Jack replied. "But I stand by my beliefs. Now-"

"Your beliefs," Anna mocked, laughing shrilly before her face reverted back to the meanness she was exuding. "Your beliefs are just as poisonous as those men. You claim to be neutral, but I know what you want. You want those outsiders to have more power. Well, it's only a matter of time before everything in this town collapses. When that day comes, we'll know who to blame, and it won't be those rats. It will be the men who let the rats in. But mostly, it will be you. Everything will be your fault." She took a step forward, forcing Jack to stand right up against a tombstone. He stared back into Anna's eyes, his face saying "you don't scare me," but he was feeling very uncomfortable.

"And…" She reached down and clamped his wrists with both hands, digging her nails deep into his skin. Jack felt his skin break, but he refused to flinch. He wasn't about to give Anna the satisfaction. "And if you ever cause anything that displeases me, I will make your life a living hell… unless you pay with it."

Jack smirked at this threat to try and calm himself down, but it didn't work. But Anna didn't know that. This just made her angrier.

"Is that clear?" she questioned, her voice low and grave.

"Crystal," Jack replied coolly. "We're done here." As Anna's grip loosened, Jack walked away, though his head was turned towards her still. Kelly may have very well been a snake, but Anna was a hyena. And it was never a good idea to turn one's back on a hyena, even if it claimed to be on your side. It was apparent to him now that the gambit he had suggested to the council might not only be dangerous to the town, but his way of life as well. There would be nothing to do now but to wait for a new hand to be dealt.


	22. Author's note to the readers

Hello readers…

For anybody who was wondering, I was taking an extended hiatus from this story due to multiple reasons (mostly my schedule.) When it came time to write again, I decided to look back over my older chapters for review, and I came to the conclusion… that I really hate what I've done with this story.

Now, this isn't me trying to get pity or "this story is great" compliments, so hear me out. Looking back at my older chapters, one thing that caught my attention right away was my very flavorless writing. That isn't so bad that I can't go back and pull a George Lucas with my writing, but that wasn't the only problem I saw. There was a lot of underdeveloped characters. With the exception of Jack, Elli, and somewhat Karen, most of the characters were very bareboned in my opinion. Characters like Ann and Cliff for example had very little impact on the story, despite being Jack's good friends. I think the main root of this problem stemmed from the use of OCs… I had waaaaaaaaaay too many OCs… On top of that, too many of them were also very underdeveloped, and many of them were just sprung in when I needed them most. In short, they really didn't belong, and there was no reason to give a shit about any of them.

Then there was the problem with the future chapters I planned. There was way to much necessary filler, and many of the chapters following would have been just plain boring and contrived for what I had in mind. On top of that, the OCs that you don't care about have a main focus in said chapters. Overall, the ending was going to be predictable and wouldn't have enough payoff.

And finally, I feel like I used rape as a crutch for Elli's character. It's a very generic and normally badly used plot device. Really, not one of my brightest moments as a writer.

So, I guess you can all see where this is going. After giving it some thought, it is with great sorrow that I have decided to discontinue this story. I feel like it's beyond saving, and I really have no new ideas for improving it as a whole. While this saddens me after all the time I put into this story, I really do not have the heart to continue it. I won't take it down, just in case I do decide that I have a good way to finish it, but at this point, I really don'

As for the readers, I figured that you all ought to know that I am removing this fic since you have all been very supporting of me. I thank you all for your support and reviews for this story, and I'm glad that you have enjoyed reading what I did publish. Also, I do plan to write another story in the same post-apocalyptic universe as this one, but taking place on Castanet Island, so if you do like this story in the post-apocalyptic setting, I hope you'll enjoy the next piece even more. It will have far less OCs, more developed characters, and hopefully, a far superior plot. However, that story won't be made for a long time, so don't hold your breath. However, I feel that the mistakes I made with this story will help me create an even better one.

Again, thank you for all your support. I'm sorry if this news disappoints any of you.


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